


Of A Clairvoyant Persuasion

by shinigami_yumi



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Genre: Complete, Could Be Canon, Do-Over, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Memories, POV First Person, Spoilers, Triangulum Arc, possible future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:19:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 100,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4092082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinigami_yumi/pseuds/shinigami_yumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would you do if you knew the future? As the only one with memories of Polaris' Judgment, Kuze Hibiki seeks out Hotsuin Yamato, the only Child of Possibility in a position to undertake something as massive as changing the world. But without Yamato's memories of their week together, Hibiki will have to be <em>very persuasive</em> if he hopes to change Yamato's mind before they run out of time.</p><p>Now featuring beautiful <a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/shinigami_yumi/SabrinaCommission3800x600font_micehellwd_zpslf8kj5ya.jpg">cover art</a> by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MicehellwdIllustration">MicehellWD</a>, a lovely <a href="http://8tracks.com/corporal/clairvoyance">fanmix</a> by <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kresnik/pseuds/Kresnik">Kresnik</a>, a gorgeous <a href="http://40.media.tumblr.com/b5caee43afc6cef1f0a2ddd597aabedb/tumblr_nzrlhnKB6x1sm9eano1_1280.jpg">scene illustration</a> by <a href="http://swimmingrat.tumblr.com">swimmin</a> and a wonderful <a href="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/shinigami_yumi/Final%20with%20watermark_zps6numjeox.jpg">ending scene</a> by <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KazekamiArtwork">Kazekami Shiranui</a> ♥</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's Not Start Over

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Daichi's Triumphant Restorer ending and borrows bits from the anime. Includes elements of other SMT games and features or hints at multiple relationships later.
> 
>  _Italicised text_ are thoughts and memories; emphasis if on single words.

[ ](https://www.facebook.com/MicehellwdIllustration/posts/512599628922599:0)

They don’t remember.

My friends have changed, _grown_ , but they don’t remember.

Daichi has gotten his act together and will soon be heading to university. Io is more outspoken now, more clearly hinting that she wants to be more than friends. Yet, just as I know I can’t grant her wish, I know their progress won’t suffice to allay Polaris’ judgment. I wonder how much time we have, how long we can afford to wait. The world hadn’t seemed so vast when all that remained of it lay within the Dragon Stream’s barrier.

Yamato could do it, probably. In his position, influencing people and changing the world isn’t so far out of reach. And if anyone has a will strong enough to remember, it’d be Yamato. Still, even if he does remember, I wouldn’t put it past that martyr to make the same choices again. That’s his problem: He doesn’t know how to be happy.

That thought, that gripping sense of urgency, haunts my days and my nights, brings me to the Diet Building each day. I can’t just walk in — the elevator to JP’s is hidden and off limits; no one is even supposed to know it’s there, and the guards probably have orders to shoot trespassers on sight.

Still, if I just keep coming back… JP’s may be headquartered in Osaka, but I know Yamato comes here often for government meetings. If my timing is right—

Well, it seems that Fate has finally favoured me today.

That unmistakable head of silver hair catches the afternoon sun as Yamato walks briskly out towards the front gate with Makoto close behind. She is speaking, likely reporting something he cares very little for as usual, as I hurry over.

“Mister Hotsuin,” I call, trying not to sound overly familiar.

He doesn't even slow, but I catch his subtle twitch of annoyance — I'm not supposed to know he exists. “Sako, please see to this civilian."

Makoto dutifully turns to intercept, but I run after Yamato. She's great, she's important too, and she'd do anything for him, but I'm not here for her today — Yamato doesn't listen to her. He moves to brush me off before I can grab his hand, but that's familiar, expected. I catch his wrist midair, and the flash of surprise quickly turns into a cold stare. He opens his mouth, probably to snap a threat, but I beat him to words.

"One word: Polaris."

He aborts his attempt to shake his hand free, and I don't let go. Perhaps it's my imagination, mere wishful thinking; perhaps the satiny slide of his gloves on my skin feels too familiar — in his intrigued half-smile, I glimpse a spark of what could be recognition.

“Very well, you have my attention. Meet me here at eighteen hundred hours. We'll talk then. You'd best not waste my time." Turning to Makoto, he adds, "Sako, you know what to do."

She bows slightly. “Yes, Chief."

I can't help smiling at the déjà vu as he starts to pull his hand away. "By that you mean to detain me as soon as I enter JP's or track me down for an arrest if I don't show." I don't turn, catching his gaze. "Isn't that right, Miss Makoto?"

I hear her breath hitch, and Yamato smirks — the dangerous, knowing glint in violet eyes tells me he caught what I just let slip. "I see. What cheek."

Letting out a soft chuckle, I step closer. Slowly, deliberately, I let my eyes trail down his body; I remember it well — lithe and toned beneath the starched fine fabric of his uniform. “Once," I murmur so only he can hear, "that was one of your favourite things about me," as I run my fingertips lightly over the inside of his wrist — he likes the feeling, I know, but it's too intimate now, and it unsettles him though he hides it well. "I know what is to come, Yamato, and I won't run, either from you or that opportunity."

Yamato finally twists his hand out of my grasp and turns away, but not before I catch the spark of interest in his eyes. "We will converse this evening then...?" he trails off expectantly, demanding.

“Kuze Hibiki."

"Kuze." He nods, dismissive, and I watch as he resumes his brisk walk to the waiting limousine.

Makoto hurries after him, but although she eyes me warily, she still politely smiles and nods, and I return the silent greeting with a bit more warmth. I don't move till they turn the corner; only then do I give in to looking down at my hand.

I didn't realize how much I'd missed him already.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_"Hibiki." I open my eyes — we're still lying face to face. "Tomorrow, we go to defeat Polaris, and I have no doubt as to your strength and conviction, yet it is still unclear to me what manner of world you hope to create exactly."_

_Yamato's pristine white gloves lie discarded between our down pillows, and the silk covers are luxuriously soft over our intertwined legs. His room, and his bed, is far bigger and more comfortable than the ones we were assigned when we joined, and I'm not looking forward to sneaking back later._

_"I want to go back to the way things were. No." I take his hand as he frowns. “Ĺet me finish. I want to change the world by our own power," I explain, tracing his radial artery with the pad of my thumb. “Change has no meaning if it is forced upon us. We will only repeat this tragedy. You, of all people, must see how senseless that is."_

_Yamato closes his eyes and presses his free hand to his brow. “You think it's possible to salvage the rotten fruit this world has become," he sighs wearily. “Where do you find such optimism?"_

_"In you." I smile at his incredulous glance, lacing our fingers. "Together, I_ know _it is. Help me change the world, Yamato. Let's realize your ideals by our_ own _will, not Polaris'." I chuckle. "Are you surprised?" His expression is priceless. “I've never opposed them, not really. They're not mutually exclusive to everyone else's, you know?" Still holding his gaze, I press my lips to his knuckles. “Selflessness is a form of merit too. Hasn't your family practiced it for generations?"_

_It takes a moment, but then he's bursting into laughter. “That's my Hibiki." He shakes his head fondly as he nestles closer. “You've gotten so manipulative."_

_I grin — only Yamato would consider that a compliment. “It's all thanks to your grounding."_

_Smirking, he tilts his head up for a kiss._


	2. Pillow Secrets

JP’s looks just as I remember — futuristic technology in classical design. It's strange — I kinda miss it. It almost feels more like home than the house I just came from. Who would've thought?

As before, Makoto meets me outside the gate and escorts me to Yamato's office. It, too, is as I remember — sparse, functional, tasteful. I should feel honoured, I suppose — it's his private office, and he's already inside. Ever formal, he thanks me for coming although his challenging yet longsuffering gaze tells me he expects his high hopes to be disappointed.

It's partly déjà vu that makes me say, “Sorry to keep you waiting," with a wry grin, and I'm relieved when he laughs.

“Yes, it's been a long time since I last had to wait for someone... Kuze Hibiki, you'd best be worth my time."

As soon as the door clicks shut behind Makoto, I let a hint of wistfulness show as I reply, "Yes, you said much the same the last time."

Leaning back in his chair, he sizes me up, expression turning serious. “You're from a possible future," he concludes, astute as always, down to the precision of his wording — it's clear he's already given everything I've said so far some thought.

I nod, leaning against the only door. “A future you promised you would remember."

He narrows his eyes. “What went wrong?”

As usual, he’s quick to catch on, and I debate how much to tell him. With Yamato, I must choose my words carefully. It’s still too early to be fighting with him.

“I came back to warn you,” is what I decide on. “If you borrow Polaris’ power to reform the world as you intend, humanity will no longer be free, not even you.”

“Heh.” He stands. “I have no need for such a thing. For an ideal world, I am prepared to pay that price.”

Yes, I expected him to say as much. All he’s ever known is responsibility and sacrifice — that’s exactly the problem. Floating in the Stratum as Polaris restored the world, I saw flashes of possibility, glimpses of the paths we could have chosen. Yamato’s world had been so cold — a reflection of his psyche.

Sighing, I add softly, “You weren’t happy.” Seeing it made me glad I chose as I did. “And it wasn’t long before Polaris judged another Purge necessary.”

From the look on his face, it’s clear he doesn’t believe me, and if I weren’t blocking the only exit, he’d be walking out to a better use of his time — it’s why I haven’t moved.

“That’s why I wished to do it over,” I explain before he can speak. “To change the world without Polaris’ power.” _So that you won’t die alone one day without having truly lived,_ I don’t say.

He scoffs coldly, circling his polished wooden desk. “This world is like a—”

“—rotten fruit that refuses to wither away and still continues to spread its seeds.” I smile, meeting his surprised gaze. “Yes, I know.”

Surprise turns to incredulity. “Then you think it is possible to salvage it… How foolish.”

I shake my head. “I know it is. No, I should say — with you, I know it is. You can do it, can’t you?” I ask quickly, before he can refuse. “Create a merit-based society by your own power, by your own merit?”

Whatever he’d intended to say seems to have died on his lips. Yamato is an arrogant man, and in his conflicted expression, I see him struggle with the admission —even to himself— that changing the world is too big, too daunting, even for him, that he doesn’t believe it’s possible.

“I know you can,” I tell him, making sure my certainty is audible, as I approach. Finally, I know he won’t walk out on me. “And that you will do whatever it takes. Will you try it without Polaris?”

Violet eyes snap to mine. “And I’m supposed to believe you want to help me? What could a—”

“—civilian like me possibly offer you?” I grin, coming to a stop right before him. “Other than information of unknown quantity and value, you mean? Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

His answering smile is fierce as he crosses his arms. “What cheek indeed, knowing that there is no way for me to validate that information.”

Chuckling, I reply, “On the contrary, there is plenty that you can validate quite easily. Something only you would know, perhaps?”

“Oh?” He shifts back to rest his hips on the desk, eyeing me coolly now.

I rest one hand on the table just a hair’s breadth away from him as I consider my options, then watch him carefully as I say, “The facility inside Mount Fuji channels the Dragon Stream’s power into the towers.”

Almost imperceptibly, he tenses.

With a weary sigh, I shift to sit beside him on the desk. “Tell me, Yamato — would I be here if I wished to oppose you? Or are we still pretending you’ll let me walk out of here alive?”

“Heh." In a quick movement, he has me pinned to the desk with my arms above my head. This, too, is familiar — for an entirely different reason, and I don’t resist. "That simplifies things." He reaches for the phone, probably to tell Makoto to take me to a cell and interrogate me. If I know Yamato like I think I do, I’ll be dead or “missing” by next week.

"Do you still sleep with that device under your pillow?"

He freezes.

“The one that sends the command to summon Cerberus to your phone when you press a button," I elaborate to show it's not a lucky guess.

Lying here, with him leaning over me to hold my wrists, I allow myself to want him, and it's clear he doesn't recognize the emotion he sees in my eyes. Still, Yamato trusts his own judgment, if nothing else.

Letting go, he steps back, looking away. "I expect you have a plan?"

I sit up to face him. “I do." Already I miss the closeness. “And as you’ve no doubt already concluded, you lose nothing by trying. But first, does this suffice as an interview, Chief? Or is there more you'd like to ask?"

He has to check to see I'm only half-joking, and he laughs haughtily. “What if I reject your application?"

"Without even an evaluation?" I grin, teasing. "Wouldn't that be betraying your own ideals?"

Before he can answer, the phone rings, and he moves briskly to pick it up. “Yes?" He listens for several moments, then, "Enough. I’m on my way. Secure the area and continue monitoring the situation." Hanging up, he turns back to me. “I’m afraid I’ll have to cut our conversation short. There’s been an incident. I m—”

“No.” I slide off his desk. “I’m going with you.” At the disbelieving look on his face, I add, "Don't you want an evaluation?"

"Ha, you're an interesting one, Kuze." He smirks, intrigued. "Very well, let's see if you have the skills to back up that confidence of yours."

He motions for me to follow him, and we walk back out to a waiting limousine. It's not until the car has started moving that it occurs to me to ask, "Where are we going?"

"Yoyogi." He's looking out the window, lost in thought. "An unnatural fog has settled over the park, and the team sent in to investigate has not returned,” he sighs.

From any other superior, his chagrin could be interpreted as concern over the safety of his staff or the cost of replacing lost personnel, but Yamato isn’t one to contemplate such “trivial” things.

Looking to the window on my side, I murmur, “If only it were easier to find people with higher aptitude.” In his reflection on the glass, I see the slight smile of approval and pretend not to notice. He hides it when I turn to him to ask, “Are supernatural incidents common?”

“Minor ones occur all the time. Those that require our intervention less commonly now than they used to. Hehe… Are you surprised?” He must have caught my pensive expression. “We have plenty of work even without major calamities.”

Shaking my head, I reply, “It can’t be a negligible concern if a dedicated government organization was established to handle it.”

“That is correct.” He inclines his head. “However, due to the efforts of my forebears, many significant threats have been neutralized or sealed away. Our daily work today primarily entails maintaining those seals and defending them from minor spirits seeking greater power. To that end, we seek out people with spiritual powers, but as you’ve aptly put, they are rare, and strong ones are rarer still.”

The thick fog is visible long before we reach the park, and there are JP’s personnel cordoning off the area on the pretext of a fogging exercise. It’s probably some nature spirits on a rampage, obviously nothing Yamato hasn’t seen before — he’s expecting an easy battle. Makoto approaches as soon as the car stops and is clearly surprised to see us disembark together.

“Update?”

“Ah, yes, Chief Hotsuin. We’ve set up a perimeter and are dealing with D-cases as they attempt to escape. Still no news of the initial investigation team, sir.”

“Maintain the perimeter,” Yamato instructs as he heads towards the entrance. “Let no one in and nothing out. I’m going in. What is our visibility?”

“Five metres at best, sir.”

He waves her away, turning to me as we reach the park entrance.

“I’m going in with you,” I say firmly, beating him to words again.

“Oh?” I recognize that look — haughty, intrigued, a hint of resignation. In his mind, he’s already prepared to watch me die trying to prove myself as so many have before. “Is it courage or stupidity that makes you risk your life? As you’ve heard, I can’t guarantee your survival.”

“Don’t worry,” I tell him with a grin, “I have insurance,” and watch him mentally call me a complete idiot in the three seconds it takes for him to realize it’s a joke before adding, “I’ll guarantee yours.”

Yamato bursts out laughing, and the surrounding stares confirm this doesn’t happen often. “My, my… How spirited… Very well, Kuze, here are the details of this operation. We will investigate the park on separate paths, subduing any hindrances, then meet by the fountains in the central field to assess how best to proceed. Is that clear?”

“Crystal.” I fish out my cellphone and start up the summoning program as we step into the fog. I admit I was surprised to find the app still on my phone with all its data intact. I suppose I have Alcor to thank for that. “One last thing: does JP’s have any seals in here that I should be aware of?”

“Haha, a quick study, aren’t we?” Yamato summons Cerberus and mounts the giant three-headed hound. “Yes, hence our rendezvous point. That is where the seal is. Well then.” Something about his tone makes me look him in the eye, and his worried, wistful gaze takes me by surprise.

“Yamato…” His concern gives me hope, hope that a part of him remembers.

At the sound of my voice, his confused frown fades into the smile he so often wears as a façade. “I look forward to seeing what you can achieve. May the war gods be with you.”

I’m glad Makoto is out of earshot — she’d be horrified. As I lean down, I summon Byakko — if it’s strong enough for the first few Septentriones, it should be more than enough for this. Instead of the polite bow he no doubt expects, I kiss him on the cheek. “And also with you.”

It’s terribly inappropriate, I think as I mount the large tiger, but Yamato wouldn’t know sexual harassment if it smacked him in the face. More importantly, his only reaction is pleasant surprise. I don’t stay to check whether it’s at Byakko or the gesture.

Can’t give Yamato too much satisfaction.


	3. Diamonds In The Sky

The deep fog is cold, and I bury my hands deeper in Byakko’s warm fur as it kills another Jubokko with the swipe of a large paw. It’s been about an hour. Yamato and I parted at the first intersection, and I turned left at the second. The going is slow even without the Inugami and Jubokko harrying us because visibility is so poor. I'm now fairly certain the Inugami are responsible for the fog, but killing them doesn't thin it.

In the distance, I hear birds chirping from the nearby sanctuary, a stark contrast to the eerie silence of my surroundings, and I approach it, curious. As expected, the fog clears as I near the fence, but there doesn’t seem to be any reason why it should — a simple fence wouldn’t keep out demons.

“I heard you call my name, Shining One.”

I whirl at that familiar voice. “Alcor!”

Incredible relief seizes me to see him perched on the branch of a nearby oak. Of course I surmised from the app’s functionality that he, too, had been restored, but there’s nothing like the certainty of seeing for myself. That certainly explains the lack of demons in the immediate vicinity.

“I am happy to see you well,” he continues as he floats down to my side, and I throw my arms around him in a tight hug. He makes a sound of surprise, then chuckles as he returns the embrace. “Of all the human greetings you’ve shown me, Shining One, I think this is my favourite.”

“I’m so glad you were restored as well.”

“Hm? What do you mean?” As I step back, letting go, my meaning seems to dawn on him. “Ah, yes, I see… The current state of the world is predicated on my earlier intervention. As such, even if Polaris disapproves of my actions, my existence is necessarily a part of the world as you wished it restored.”

The technicalities aren’t important. What matters is, “Will we have to fight you again?”

“That depends on the path you choose, Shining One. Should you succeed in averting the Purge, our last meeting need not come to pass.”

“How much time do we have?” I ask anxiously — it has weighed heavily on my mind from the start.

Sadly, he looks down. “Unfortunately, that is not for me to know or decide.”

I take his hands — now, more than ever, I need him on my side. “But you will continue to help us?”

“Help… you…?” His puzzled frown melts away after a moment’s contemplation. “Yes… I suppose, in a sense, that is what I have done. Of course, I will continue to preserve your liberty, Shining One.”

I smile, lacing our fingers. “It’s enough for me, knowing we are friends.”

His initial reaction is surprise, then he laughs fondly. “I see now… Friends are truly wonderful things. I am happy that you approve of me as a person although you know I must someday stand as your enemy.”

“Must you really?” I can’t help but think that there must be another way, that he can help us more than he already has. In the past, he greatly aided Yamato’s family, after all.

Alcor falls silent for several moments, pensive. “An interesting thought… Truly, you come from a position of freedom. Allow me to think on it.”

Aha, I thought as much. “Please do. I was terribly sad things between us ended as they did.”

This is far from his first deviation from Polaris’ will, after all. If he thinks a bit more, he might just see possibilities no one else knows about, possibilities that will be of help to us in the worst case scenario.

Alcor nods, then tilts his head, gaze growing distant. “Shining One, you yearn for Hotsuin Yamato?”

Although he is not mistaken, I can’t help but wonder where he and Yamato learned their weird diction, who the teacher and student was between them. “He can help me reform this world to avert the Purge,” I answer neutrally — they do, after all, have an unusual history.

“Yes... He is a man of rare possibility."

"With time, I believe we will change this world together."

"Yes, that is my hope as well." Alcor's expression grows wistful. "Perhaps it is my fault he turned out this way. Do you resent me?"

I shake my head. “You only did what you thought would help us most, and without your aid, we never would have met."

"I see." He smiles, a bit relieved. “Thank you, Shining One. You should go. He is waiting for you. You have swayed him before; I believe you can do so again. I will be watching over you."

So saying, he disappears, and I hurriedly climb atop Byakko, urging it to make haste for our rendezvous point. As strange as it sounds, I believe in Alcor, although he is a Septentrione.

He will surely help us.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_It’s hard to imagine the kind of life Yamato must have led — never mind having worked in Osaka for so long and never tried takoyaki, it hurts inside to hear him describe them as “carbohydrates,” as if he eats nutrient compounds instead of real food. It makes me curious what he eats every day, if he ever leaves JP’s for any reason besides work. Maybe it’s easier this way —being so far removed from the rest of the world allows him to make the necessary hard decisions— but it seems incredibly lonely._

Yamato _seems incredibly lonely._

_Perhaps that's why I've always felt strangely drawn to him — the cold emptiness of solitude is one I remember well. But when I felt all alone in the world, I had Daichi who reached out to me, who wanted to understand. That's why, no matter what my parents think, he'll always be my best and truest friend. But Yamato hasn’t even found that person yet. Makoto is devoted, yes, but she doesn’t understand._

_It’s too sad._

_Not for the first time, I wish things weren't broken like this, so I could show him something beyond the cold, shadow world he's confined himself to._

_“Well? Was it good?” I ask with a knowing grin. At least his tastebuds aren’t completely warped._

_He smiles slightly. “You're a strange one, Hibiki. You defy my predictions, you know this unknown world, and you constantly surprise me. Heheh... I've never met anyone who so betrayed my expectations.”_

_Right. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Yamato was some kind of non-human like the Anguished One. They certainly share the same peculiar way with words._

_“Yes…” he continues, tossing the now empty paper tray into the nearby trashcan. “It seems I was right in my judgment.” When he turns to look at me once more, I forget to breathe. “Perhaps with you…”_

_He just trails off there, walking away, and I’m darting forward to stop him before I can think better of it. He moves to brush me off before I can grab his hand, but he does stop, so that’s probably reflex._

_“Perhaps with me what?” I ask, and he seems slightly taken aback._

_I’ve come to realize everyone’s got it wrong — Yamato always tries to do what’s best for the world; his unusual background just skews his assessment of what that is. Compassion doesn’t come easily because he can’t identify with anyone else. The truth is, I doubt he even recognizes his emotions, but I know what I saw — in the end, he’s as human as any of us._

_When he arrived shortly after we’d defeated Phecda, I asked him how he reached Nagoya so quickly. Of course, he only said I’d find out soon enough — he meant the Terminals, I’m guessing, but they hadn’t been running at the time, so he must have replicated their mechanism somehow. And I’m sure he’d say he rushed there to deal with Phecda and the aftermath, but now I’m sure the_ relief _in violet eyes when we saw each other wasn't merely my wishful thinking._

_For the first time, perhaps, he cares on an individual level, and I… I want that. I want to be that person._

_“I’ve alr—”_

_I don’t wait for him to rationalize it — I’m pulling him into a tight hug. He gasps, surprised, and it's quite some time before he gingerly returns the embrace, but once he has his arms around me, it's like he's clinging on, like he never wants to let go._

Don't, _I want to say._ You don't have to be alone anymore. _But he'd only misunderstand, so instead I ask, "Say it all disappeared, like there's no more Polaris, no more future to fight for — can we still stay just like this?"_

_For several moments, he's silent, probably deep in thought, then he says, "It would mean I have no pressing work to do, so I can't see why not."_

_I huff a sardonic chuckle — I don't know what I was expecting. "What would you do instead?"_

_Another long pensive silence, then, "I was going to look up how to make takoyaki."_

_Inexplicably, my eyes are stinging. "Yeah? Maybe we can learn together."_

_It's not quite the answer I wished for, but from Yamato, I'll take any "yes" I can get._

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When we reach the central field, Yamato is already there waiting — Byakko finds Cerberus by its familiar presence. "You're late," he opens, arms crossed.

To be fair, he didn't specify a time, but instead I ask, "Did I make you nervous?"

As I dismount, he looks strangely at me before answering, "Yes, I’d hate to be disappointed so soon after all that promise."

"You did tell me not to,” I say, moving closer, but more importantly, “Something must be supplying the Inugami with the power to maintain this fog. How’s the seal?”

Focusing on the task at hand is something Yamato can always get behind. "Already broken. I've instructed the others to track its energy signature, but I'm not expecting quick results in this fog." Or ever, I add mentally. Yamato has grown accustomed to his expectations not being met.

"That's—"

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch some movement, and reflex makes me pull Yamato towards me just as Byakko raises Shield All on us. Some kind of sharp projectile glances off the barrier, far too close for comfort, and I sigh — this is the part I don't miss. Byakko is already leaping at our attacker, and a drained force blast clears the fog to reveal... what looks like a glowing man lying in a large lotus flower atop a palm tree.

Yamato holds my shoulders to steady himself, and I tighten my embrace briefly — this I've really missed. Even so, I’m reaching for my phone to check the summoning app — we’re up against Kukunochi, and it’s weak to fire. Cerberus is already on it though — two Agidynes follow Byakko’s Piercing Hit.

“I won’t go back!” Kukunochi cries, sending more projectiles at us, and we leap back out of range, letting go. “This is my kingdom, and you humans used to worship me. I won’t let you lock me away again!”

His desperate fury draws all the nearby Inugami and Jubokko towards him, and even through the fog, I can sense we are surrounded. I didn't think there'd be this many, and I spot a few Makami nearby too. As one, Yamato and I are keying in summon commands, and we’re joined by Suzaku and Baal seconds later. Cerberus returns to its master’s side as Suzaku takes its place and growls fiercely at the surrounding demons. The canines recoil a bit, but the plants are unfazed.

It’s Yamato who pulls me behind Cerberus when Suzaku casts Inferno, and Baal drops Megidolaon on the ones immune to fire. His hand is warm through the satin of his gloves, and I lace our fingers. Here, side-by-side and holding hands amidst the flames, it feels reminiscent of that last week's battles, and again I wish he'd remember.

Our attacks are overkill, of course, but they're efficient. Kukunochi screams, "Noooo!!!" as Suzaku's flames engulf him, and the fog starts to clear in the wake of what looks like specks of fading light amid rising steam — the dissipating remnant energy of the demons around us.

Yamato returns his demons and starts entering command codes into his phone, presumably resealing Kukunochi. I return Suzaku and stand guard with Byakko, making sure the coast is clear and we're not interrupted. The sealing mechanism responds, but it looks damaged. He sighs resignedly, turning to me and looking down at our joined hands. Reluctantly, I let go.

"It would seem you do have the skill to back up those lofty words," he says with a smirk. "And to have had the demon summoning program all this time without misusing it… my doubts are cleared. You're intriguing, Hibiki." The switch to my first name comes sooner than expected, but then Yamato has never been one to stand on ceremony. His gaze turns calculating. "Intriguing and dangerous. That you are back here means that you stood in my way before."

"Does it?" I chuckle teasingly. “It’s really inconceivable to you that we might have tried it your way before, and Polaris purged it soon after, isn't it?" No demons have come our way, so I return Byakko. “Change that comes from externally rewriting our consciousness isn't true progress. Things are simply different one day, and no one even knows why. There was no learning, no growth, no agency — people didn't make the choice to change for the better; they didn't even know they'd changed. Not knowing why things are as they are, it's easy to lose sight of the will or purpose to live. That's why I want to reform the world without Polaris this time. Not only will your ideals be realized, we can avert the Purge entirely."

His expression when I look back up at him is pensive, assessing. “You believe you can lead the masses where generations of our forebears have failed?" he asks at last — Yamato's constancy is comforting.

"The last time you asked me this, I said, with your help, I'll show you, and you promised you'd lend me your strength."

He gives me a long, hard look, and I meet searching violet eyes with confidence and longing. Even now, I believe in him — at heart, he only wants what is best for the world, as misguided as his perspective of what that is may be.

“Chief Hotsuin!"

It's Makoto running over with some JP's personnel close behind, and although I don't expect the answer I seek so soon, I'm still chagrined by the interruption.

"We've commenced the search for the missing team and are making preparations to purify the area," she reports without preamble. She must have fretted anxiously the entire time, but with Yamato, worry would only be construed as doubt.

“Try looking in or amongst the trees," I offer softly, looking down. I'm no pessimist, but they're most likely corpses trapped in tree vines and drained of blood by now. I don't envy the search team that finds them.

Yamato nods. “I restored the seal, but it won’t last with the damaged equipment. Get a technical team on the seal immediately, then secure the area and arrange decon. I expect an update report in the morning."

"Yes, sir."

"And Sako, this young man will be joining us, starting tomorrow.” He indicates me with a wave of his hand. “I'm putting him in charge of our field operations. I trust you will bring him up to speed. I leave the reassignment of personnel to you."

Despite her shock at the sudden development, she only bows and says, "Y—yes, sir."

As we walk to the exit together, he turns back to me, smile in place. "Hibiki, you should go ready your things. All JP's personnel stay on the premises. You will be escorted from your home in the morning. I will make the arrangements."

That gives me very little notice or time to pack, but I'll manage. "Yes, of course."

"Well then."

With a slight bow, he climbs back into the limousine, and I start walking home. Yoyogi isn't overly far from my home in Aoyama, and I grab dinner on the way. It's dark inside when I arrive — my parents aren't home yet, so I head straight to my room and start putting some clothes and personal belongings into a small suitcase. Admittedly, this isn't much progress — getting close to Yamato is easy with the right skill set; I’m still a long way away from changing his mind. Yet, as I finalise my packing and lie back in my bed for what may be the last time, the future seems filled with hope and possibility.

Heh, Joe's optimism must be rubbing off on me.


	4. Rather Than Flowers

“Whoa, dude. I heard you were escorted from your home by government agents!”

I’m having lunch with Daichi and Io on my first day off since joining JP’s. We get one day off a week because Yamato is “not completely heartless,” but of course, everything is top secret. Officially, I work for the Meteorological Agency and collect measurements about the weather. I live away from home because I must constantly travel to collect this data. JP’s doesn’t officially exist after all.

“Mm, I was quite shocked when I heard from Daichi. Still, it’s impressive you got scouted by the government so quickly, Hibiki,” Io remarks, sipping at her tea. “What kind of work do you do?”

“I’d have to kill you if I told you,” I say very seriously. It’d be funnier if it weren’t true — Yamato certainly wouldn’t hesitate.

“C—c’mon, man. Don’t joke about that sort of thing!” Same old Daichi. It makes Io laugh too though, so he’s probably happy. He sighs and smiles, picking at his pickles. “You know, I always thought you’d be the type to go to university, beat me at every subject and go on to some super intellectual job. But look at you, scouted by the government right out of high school.” He laughs, at once sheepish and wistful. “It’s actually… kinda comforting not having to compete with you for a place though.”

"It would have been fun to go to university together." I _am_ a little wistful — university seems like an experience I would have enjoyed. "What about you, Io?"

"Me? Oh, um... I've been accepted into the University of Tokyo, actually."

"Wow... Tokyo U? That's so cool!" Daichi is doing that awestruck thing again. I've told him it's kinda awkward, and it makes Io uncomfortable, but I don't think he can help himself. "Io's so smart, and—"

“O—on a more serious note,” Io hurriedly changes the subject, “for real now, Hibiki, what do you do?”

“I collect data and write reports for the Meteorological Agency.” It’s almost the complete truth. Almost.

“Ah, it must be tough though, being away from your family all the time.”

“Heh, if you knew Hibiki’s parents, you’d know it’s no different living together or apart,” Daichi gripes with a rare frown. “He hardly ever sees them anyway.”

I tilt my head in agreement with a carefree smile — I’m used to it. And now I think it’s easier this way.

“I—I see…”

Io doesn’t know what to say, and I don’t blame her — she’s really close to her parents, after all. In any case, we’ve finished our chazuke, so we should vacate our seats for the people waiting in line.

I stand. “Well, I need to go on a shopping run before I head back. Do you two have any plans?”

Predictably, Daichi perks up at the word ‘shopping.’ “Ooh, I’m down. What about you, Io?”

“Hm? Where are you guys planning to go?"

"Everything I need should be around here."

"Oh, oh, I know! You’re here to go to Oiwake, aren’t you?" Daichi asks, his grin conspiratorial, as we head further inside the Shinjuku JR station.

"Oiwake is that famous wagashi shop, right?" Io smiles enthusiastically. “I'll go too. My parents love wagashi. I can pick up some dango for my dad and daifuku for my mom."

"Yeah, my favourite is the yaki mitarashi, but some of their other dango flavours are really good too." I want some, of course, but more importantly, I want Yamato to try some.

Walking towards the Eastern exit, I tease Daichi about how he’s going to shop more than Io and I combined. But as we near the platforms, I hear the eerie shriek of an incoming train on its tracks, and the usual déjà vu grips me. _It’s only been three weeks,_ I tell myself. _Nothing is going to happen._ The thought brings me no comfort. Not knowing our timeline makes me nervous. I hide my disquiet, but the earlier lightheartedness seems distant now.

I need to work faster.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

As I approach the Diet Building, another familiar face catches my eye, and I can’t decide whether I’m happy to see Kuriki Ronaldo again. On one hand, he's got a way with people, which would make him a useful ally; on the other, he’s talking to Yamato, and that is _always_ a recipe for disaster. He hasn’t started shouting his accusations though, so I might be just in time.

“Yamato?” I touch his arm with a warm smile. “How strange to see you out and about.” I should probably call him “Chief” like everyone else, but it’s not like he calls me “Agent Kuze” outside of meetings either.

“Hibiki.” He turns to me, glad for the interruption. “Hm?” Glancing curiously at my shopping bags, he asks, “What did you need to buy?”

Too many to explain, so I murmur, “If you have a moment to spare later, come by, and I’ll show you.”

He raises an eyebrow — curious enough to want to know more. Good. So I pretend to have just noticed our company and turn to Ronaldo. He looks disconcerted by our familiarity — Yamato leaned closer to hear, as I intended, and we're well inside each other's personal space.

“Ah, you must be Kuriki Ronaldo."

Beside me, Yamato narrows his eyes. "You know him?"

I chuckle, leaning towards him. “Is that jealousy?" At his confused expression, I shake my head. “Who doesn't? He's got quite the reputation for attempting to harass you. Maybe it's I who should be jealous."

Ronaldo is all but gaping at us still, perhaps unable to reconcile our display with his beliefs. I can't say I blame him — few have ever seen Yamato as a real person.

Yamato finally catches the joke and laughs. “Very funny, Hibiki. Why should a phoenix be jealous of a rat?"

His choice of analogue makes me smile. “Doesn't the dragon have a better use of his time?"

For a moment, there's a flash of suspicion in violet eyes, but then he scoffs and shakes his head. “You're right. I'll leave this to you. Well then." He inclines his head towards me before walking away briskly.

This seems to break Ronaldo out of his shocked stupor. "Wait! I'm not done with you yet!!"

He tries to run after Yamato, but I quickly intercept and continue to block his path until Yamato's limousine has driven away. He whirls on me.

“You! You're JP's too, aren't you? Ugh, you just don't know how evil Hotsuin Yamato is."

Here we go again. Ronaldo's world had been so stagnant, just as he has never moved past Dera-Deka's presumed death at Yamato's hands.

“No, I'm sure I know him better than most, and I wouldn't consider him evil. He doesn't have inherently malevolent intentions."

He frowns. “Perhaps you only see one side of him."

Right. That describes him more accurately than it does me.

“No, I know everything. Yamato is the type of person that wouldn't hesitate to bomb the city his mother is in if it would contain a plague. It's callous, yes, and I don’t always agree with his methods, but that's not evil."

"How about this? My senpai—"

"—is not dead," I interject quietly.

"What?"

"Your senpai, Detective Ban," I clarify. "He's not dead, and if you put as much effort into searching for him as you do into uncovering Yamato's secrets, I'm sure you'll find him soon enough." Perhaps Ronaldo can help reunite Dera-Deka and Airi. Maybe Airi has gone back to piano, and he can watch her concert soon. I bet he'd be proud. I offer a conspiratorial grin. “Don't let Yamato find out though."

Brows furrowed, Ronaldo gives me a long, hard look. “You're different from him," he says at last. “And you say to keep it secret because you know Hotsuin Yamato would finish the job. So why? Why do you continue to follow this evil man?”

I sigh, longsuffering — I need to nip this obsession in the bud this time. “Let me ask,” I counter, shifting my bags to my other hand, “What do you think would happen if JP’s existence became public knowledge?”

He takes a second. “People w—”

“If other nations became aware of the power of demons, don’t you think they’d try to start their own squads of summoners?” I interrupt before we veer away from my point. “It’d be another arms race like so many before — guns, ships, tanks, planes, bombs… and now demons too. If even one of them abuses this power for war, if even one summoning ritual goes awry, can you imagine the resulting tragedy?”

I repress the urge to bury my face in my hands — clearly, he’s not the deep thinker of our group. If he managed to find enough evidence by continuing Dera-Deka’s work, was he really planning to go public? At least Dera-Deka knew better than to expose his findings before he faked his death.

"M—my senpai wouldn't have—"

"Do you know that? Could Yamato be sure? Would _you_ risk it if you couldn’t be sure?"

In his conflicted expression, in the clench of his fists, I see Ronaldo understands what I’m getting at.

"Of course, it won’t comfort your senpai’s wife and daughter to think this way, but will you say Yamato should have spared one man to risk the death and suffering of millions?” I don’t wait for him to answer. “With his power, if Yamato wanted to subjugate the people or possess the world's riches, for instance, it would be nothing to him. And yet, he has only used it to protect us. No, no—" I hold up my free hand to preempt the coming protest, “—I'm not saying he’s a saint. No, he simply doesn't see the value in such things. And it's true he lacks the empathy for compassion, but evil? No, I don’t think that’s accurate at all."

Glancing down at the bag from Oiwake, I let a touch of wistfulness show. “Do you know? He’s never had takoyaki, never been to school, never played soccer; he’s never even had friends. I'm actually not sure he's ever done anything but work." Fondly, I huff a chuckle. "In the end, I guess I just can’t dislike him."

Aha, it looks like Ronaldo has realized the problem. Time to drive the final nail into the coffin then.

Turning serious, I meet his gaze and tell him confidently, "But if life is like baseball, I'll make sure Yamato is the thirty percent I'm hitting. So let's not worry about the rest of the pitches yet, shall we?"

Brown eyes widen, and Ronaldo opens his mouth, probably to ask where and when I met his senpai—

“Kuze!”

“Oops.” I offer an apologetic smile as Makoto runs over. “Looks like we’ve been spotted.”

“Kuriki Ronaldo! Are you harassing our staff again?”

I turn to her. “Ah, Miss Makoto, don’t worry. We were just talking.”

“And I was just leaving.” Ronaldo turns to walk away, but pauses midstep to glance back at me. “Kuze Hibiki, was it? I expect we’ll meet again.”

Yes, I nod; I expect we will.

As soon as he’s far enough away, Makoto whirls on me. “What were you talking about?”

“Yamato,” I tell her honestly as I start walking towards the back entrance used by JP’s personnel.

She follows me anxiously. “Don’t listen to him. Few people understand the importance of our work. JP’s expects some criticism. The Chief—”

“—is the love of your life?” I grin. It certainly seems that way sometimes.

“W—what?” She blushes, and I laugh. “No! It’s not like that at all!”

“Seriously, don’t worry. Mostly, he listened to me talk.”

Her brows furrow. “I hope you didn’t tell him anything important. As you know, our very existence is classified, and—”

“I just told him I love Yamato even more than you do. That’s not classified, right?”

I wink and leave her standing, speechless, at the door.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I’m eating my first skewer of dango while flipping through Shoji Leap when the knock comes, and I know it’s Yamato just by the sound of it — at once polite and demanding. I smile warmly as I let him in, and he takes the only chair, looking curiously at the magazine lying open on the bed and the packs of wagashi on the table that doubles as a desk and dresser.

“This is what you needed to buy?”

I grab a pack of dango, then sit facing him on the bed. “I wouldn’t say I needed to buy them, but I do really like these.” I hold up a skewer of yaki mitarashi dango. “And some of the stories in that magazine are quite fun.” I wave at Shoji Leap as I unwrap the dango.

“Fun…?” He looks like he doesn’t understand the concept or why people seek it — again, it hurts.

“Yeah.” I eat one and offer him the second piece. “Try one?”

Violet eyes scrutinize the snack. “This is…”

“Small dumplings made from glutinous rice flour and grilled with a sweet soy glaze,” I tell him before he can say “carbohydrates” or something equally painful again.

It doesn’t take any more convincing for him to lean forward and pull one off the skewer. He’s more open now, more receptive to the world beyond his own — I’m glad for many reasons.

“Do you like it?”

He considers it as he chews and swallows. “It’s not bad.”

“Well, they're better when eaten as soon as they’re made, but there are a number of varieties, and I got a few for you to try.” I point out, “Yuzu, matcha, chestnut, sesame, red bean paste, seaweed and plum.”

I’m not surprised Yamato starts with the matcha — it’s something familiar from the fine dining cuisine he’s served at government events.

“I don’t like to beat around the bush, so I’ll be direct,” he says as he chews on the first piece. “What did Kuriki tell you?”

I smile, reaching for the one with red bean paste. “Nothing new.”

“Oh?” He agrees to my silent offer to swap skewers. “I expect he mentioned an acquaintance of his was murdered then.”

“Yes.” I swallow the last piece of matcha dango. “It’s very naive of him to expect any other outcome from discovering a secret as big or dangerous as the nature of JP’s. He should be glad we’re not after him, too, for even knowing we exist.”

Yamato smiles approvingly as he moves on to the sesame one. “That’s my Hibiki. And?”

I shrug as I unwrap the yuzu skewer. “Too public. I’ll deal with him discreetly if there’s a next time.”

Knowing Yamato, he’ll let me decide which methods to employ as long as they're effective. I just need to keep Ronaldo out of the way. In any case, I expect he’ll be busy trying to find his senpai instead for a while.

Yamato laughs heartily as we swap again. “I see. I should have expected nothing less from you."

With that out of the way, he picks up my copy of Shoji Leap, and I tell him about the few stories I've been following. Joe would know them all, I'm sure, but Yamato isn’t particularly interested in the specifics. Instead, he struggles to understand why I'm reading manga at all, and eventually, he concludes that it must be interesting reading about lives that are fantastical or otherwise different from one's own.

"I suppose it is one way of broadening one's horizons," he concedes, drinking the last of his peach soda.

The dango is gone, as are the warabimochi, ohagi and daifuku, and we've also finished most of the assortment of drinks I brought back.

“Well, yes, that's one benefit, of course, but many people read for entertainment, not just learning." It's like he can't wrap his mind around doing something purely for enjoyment. He doesn't have hobbies; he doesn't take vacations. I'm starting to think the closest he's come to having fun is when he's drawing up his next big plan or strategy. “Isn't there anything that... makes you happy when you do it?" I rephrase at last.

“Like now?"

I freeze, forget to breathe.

"Hm? What’s the matter?"

Maybe my heart skips a beat.

I shake my head. “No, I'm just happy that you feel this way."

"...I see."

Glancing at the clock, he rises, and I politely do the same.

"It's getting late, Hibiki. You should rest. I'm heading to Osaka in the morning, and I would like you to accompany me. I'm informed your initial orientation was overly brief."

I smile as we walk to the door together. “Of course." As someone who will be taking over half of what Makoto used to do by herself, he hasn't told me nearly enough. "As you wish."

"Meet me at Shinbashi at nine hundred hours." Back in the corridor, he bows slightly. “Well then."

"Good night, Yamato."

He hesitates for the briefest moment before turning away, and I restrain the impulse to make him stay. No, it's far too soon. It must be Yamato's choice.

"Good night."

Flopping back on my bed after closing the door, I resist the urge to work off my giddy excitement — finally, he trusts me at least enough to reveal my full job scope.

But if I'm honest with myself, I'm far more elated about the two words he said earlier.


	5. Inviting & Invincible

The train ride to Osaka is just like I remember — sitting next to Yamato in first class luxury as he reads reports; only this time, Daichi and Io aren’t across from us for me to talk to. This time, when I lean towards him for a closer look at the reports, he angles the papers so we can read them together and offers up some additional details — what they cover, what they don’t cover, how often they are generated, how the data is gathered and processed, and so on.

On the armrest between us, I let my fingertips trace circles on the inside of his wrist as we talk about work, and he allows it, doesn’t object when I rest my head on his shoulder to read more comfortably. By the time the two hours have passed, I’m up to speed on the latest statuses of all the seals across Japan, the outcomes of all recent operations, nationwide readings of supernatural activity and relevant updates from the Diet. He stands without preamble as the train comes to a stop and adjusts his gloves and sleeves as I follow him out.

There are several Osaka branch staff waiting on the platform as usual, and they bow in unison when they see us. “Chief Hotsuin, Vice Chief Kuze, good morning and welcome back.”

I smile faintly as Yamato frowns. “I keep telling you not to waste time coming to greet me here.”

“Was there something urgent you wanted to report?” I ask gently. It’s not their fault JP’s doesn’t operate like any other organization they might have worked for previously — even if Yamato understood, he would consider “getting face time with the boss” nothing but a silly construct of a broken society.

“Ah, y—yes, sir.” Agent Hida, I think her name was, seizes the offered escape route. “We’re seeing an unusual spike in activity in Kyoto’s Nishikyo Ward today.”

That’s hardly urgent, but before Yamato can tell her exactly that, I say, “Their target is likely the seal in the Rakusai area. Please continue monitoring and obtain more detailed information on their numbers, species and positioning. We may have to lure them for a more discreet operation.”

“Yes, sir!"

Yamato gives me a look that says he knows what I did there as the staff hurry away, and I offer a placating smile in return.

"Weren't you going to expand on my orientation, Chief?"

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_It’s interesting, to say the least, eating street food served as a fine dining course, but the takoyaki was no less delicious for its curious presentation. Dinner is Yamato’s peace offering, perhaps — he doesn't do anything without worthwhile reason, just like his "feast" a few days ago had been to lull us into complacency with a slice of bygone normalcy. Still, any semblance of an ordinary dinner is a nice touch. He declined to join us, however, and some searching finds him in his office, hard at work going over everything we know about our situation, Polaris and the Septentriones, as if he couldn’t recite it all by heart already._

_“If you reread it backwards, I’m sure you’ll discover something new,” I tease, letting myself in._

_“I have,” he replies without looking up. “There’s nothing.”_

_S—seriously? “You should rest, Yamato.” He’s probably still injured from our battle today. “You don't have to do everything by yourself anymore." He’s eaten at least — there are used dishes on the table._

_"No," he agrees as I circle behind him. “Now I have you."_

_My heart seizes with longing to close the remaining distance between us. “We’ve had a long day," I murmur as I start kneading his shoulders instead. "And tomorrow will be longer still.”_

_He tenses, then relaxes into the touch as I rub up his neck and into his hair. “You are correct, of course." His muscles are stiff, and I put some strength into working out the knots. In response, his eyes drift shut, and he all but melts into the chair. I smile — I doubt Yamato has been touched with affection since he was a child, and he probably doesn't realise how much he craves it. At length, he says, "Go on ahead, Hibiki. There are a few things left that I wish to confirm.”_

_I grin, raising an eyebrow. “Is that an invitation to your room?” Already I miss holding him in my arms._

_Confused, he turns to frown at me. “If I wanted to invite you somewhere, I would simply do so directly.”_

_Laughing, I alternate between tugging lightly on his hair and pressing circles into his scalp, and he sighs, closing his eyes again._

_"How was dinner?" he asks suddenly._

_Hm? It's not the kind of question he normally bothers with. Unless... "Very good. I would have liked more of the takoyaki though."_

_"There'll be plenty of time for that when this is over."_

_"Yeah?" I spin his chair to face me. Before he can protest, "You'll make it for me again?"_

_He doesn't ask how I know, just lowers his eyes. "If you like." Is he... shy? It's surprisingly endearing._

_“I'd like that very much, yes," I say, trailing my fingertips down his jawline to lift his chin._

_Violet eyes widen, but he doesn't resist. I bet he's never let anyone in this close, and I'm captivated._

_“We can make it together," I whisper over his lips before covering them with my own, and it's chaste, soft, tender, then clumsy once he gets past the surprise._

_A hand on my hip tugs me closer as he tries to kiss back, and I rest my knees on the chair, straddling his own. He doesn't vie for control when I deepen the kiss, just pulls me into his lap, and I oblige, wrapping my arms around him. He makes a soft sound of pleasure as he returns the embrace — again, it's like he's holding on for dear life. When we part for air, I press my forehead to his, not wanting to let go._

_“I see.” His voice ghosts over my skin. “Did you want it to be?”_

_It takes a moment to make the connection before I’m chuckling. “I was starting to think I’d have to invite myself.”_

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Going forward, I will command our front line operations to subdue and seal supernatural threats, so that Makoto can focus on her support duties to keep JP’s running smoothly — it's the best use of our respective talents, after all. As I follow him from one department to the next, Yamato explains how they contribute to our operations, and I’m privately amused by the staffs’ reactions to his presence — some shrink behind their desks in terror, hoping they won't be noticed; some look up hopefully in admiration; others pay us no mind. I’m sure there’s plenty he’s still not telling me, but all in due time.

JP’s has its own catering arm that supplies lunch, so that answers half the question of what Yamato normally eats. After concluding this more in-depth tour, we grab a different bento box each and head for his office. As soon as the door clicks shut, he turns to me.

“You've been quiet, Hibiki. How much of this did you already know?"

I shrug, setting my lunch on the table as I sit down. “I wasn't officially employed then. As always, you only told me what I needed to know."

"And that included everything top secret?" He takes his seat and joins me as I start eating.

"We happened to need that information, yes."

"You still haven't told me your plan," he adds pointedly.

I can't help smiling fondly. “Even now, you beat me to the punch. I was just about to ask you to take me along to your next meeting with the Diet."

Violet eyes are calculating as he continues eating in pensive silence. "I see," he sighs at length. “Still, if it's you..." He closes his eyes briefly, then smirks. "You're a crafty one, Hibiki; crafty and dangerous."

"I see your idea of a compliment hasn't improved," I counter, and he rewards me with a chuckle.

“That which you promised to show me... I look forward to seeing it."

For a moment, it's almost as if he remembers, and I entertain the possibility that I might be outplayed at my own game. Yamato can be exceedingly devious when he puts his mind to it, although —contrary to popular belief— it's not in his nature. He's confident enough in his abilities that he rarely sees the need to be underhanded.

"How long?" he asks suddenly.

"Hm?"

"Us," he clarifies, and I sigh, picking at the remnants of my beef teppanyaki.

“One week. We met at the start of Polaris’ judgment."

I understand his complicated expression perfectly — it’s true we're overly intimate for a mere week's acquaintance. But I believe in him. I know what we shared was not a lie. Yamato's devotion, once won, is steadfast and eternal. It didn't fade when Alcor turned his back on him — it soured into deep resentment.

“...what d—"

"I don't know. You never told me." It’s my greatest insecurity — would anyone competent who can understand his way of thinking suffice? "But when you offered me a place by your side as an equal, I was very happy. You're not one to accept others easily."

He nods. “I can see why I kept you by my side, however."

I'm glad, but I still can't help asking, "Because I can help you achieve your ideals?"

Yamato stills, perpends it. "Yes," he answers after several moments. “But it's more than that. You are unlike any other."

As sweet as the words are, as familiar, I know certainty from Yamato when I see it, and I don't. “You needn't say what you think I want to hear," I tell him softly with a wry smile. “The congruence of our goals isn’t contingent on the nature of our relationship."

His eyes widen, then he laughs. “My apologies. Perhaps I inadvertently misled you. I did not intend to deceive. It's true we are not as you remember, but my esteem is genuine. Still, I'm pleased to hear you are not moved by sentiment."

I am, just not as he understands it. "I should go take care of that oni problem in Kyoto," I say, rising. “Can you spare any time tonight?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Free time isn't something I have, you know that."

It's true; I shouldn't have asked, but “I'm going to explore the area, and I'd like you to accompany me." I drop my empty bento box into the bin.

Amusement curves his lips. “A city tour with a civilian as my guide?" I take it this isn’t something he’s ever thought to do. "Interesting. Perhaps I'll even discover what sets you apart from them."

I grin — time to look up Osaka's best takoyaki.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Ironically, the day's worst injury didn't come from an oni's club — an agent tripped and fell backwards down the hill, breaking no small number of bones. He might be out of commission for a month, but when we came to get him with a stretcher, his main concern was pleading with me not to tell the Chief about this embarrassment. I can’t tell whether he's one of the fans or just deathly afraid of losing his job, not that Yamato would fire him unless a better replacement has been found. Admittedly, though, Yamato letting it slide is worse — punishment means he hasn't given up on you yet. Still, I tell Agent Takao that I'll report he fell while dodging an oni's attack.

Another familiar face greets me when we enter the medical wing. Otome seems to be teaching a few of the other medical staff about treating demon-inflicted injuries.

The paramedics with us call her, "Doctor Yanagiya, we've got full body broken bones over here."

"Oh! Please take him to orthopaedics. I'll join Doctor Amagi there shortly."

I follow the paramedics and wait outside for an update. Otome comes out after only ten minutes — since it wasn't the oni that broke Takao's bones, Doctor Amagi won't need her assistance.

“How is he?" I ask, standing.

“Oh, I think he'll be fine if he doesn't move for a month or two after this. None of his injuries are critical, but it'll take time for all those fractures to heal once they’re set." She gives me a closer onceover. “You must be the new Vice Chief everyone's talking about."

“I hope they're saying nice things.” I hold out my hand, chuckling. “I'm Kuze Hibiki."

"Yanagiya Otome." She shakes it. "They say the Chief is really sweet on you." Her warm smile is teasing.

“Oh, I sure hope that’s true." I lower my eyes in a show of bashfulness before asking, "What about you?"

She giggles — same old. "Who knows? Maybe soon I'll be sweet on you too."

Just then, her cellphone rings.

“Mind if I take this?” I incline my head agreeably, and she excuses herself as she steps away to answer. I can’t hear, of course, but she looks quite apologetic — it's probably Koharu.

When she comes back, I ask, "Was that your daughter?"

Her eyes widen. “Why, yes. Have you been through all our files already?"

"What? No, lucky guess. I'm not Yamato."

We share a knowing laugh.

“I joined JP’s because it pays well, so I could give my daughter a better quality of life, but..."

"There's only you, Doctor Amagi and Doctor Mochizuki for all of JP’s, so you're always short on staff and working late, and you don't get to spend as much time with her as you'd like?" I finish. She’s also the best of the three, so she’s probably on call a lot more of the time.

"Haha, you're very sharp. No wonder Yamato is so taken with you. Mako needs to stay on her toes!"

Grinning, I ask, "But who's she jealous of, me or Yamato?"

"Oh no, that's a tough question!" She plays along with another giggle. “B—"

"Doctor Yanagiya, we've got a patient in from Beppu. He's not waking up," a worried paramedic says as he hurries in.

"Oops, gotta go. I'm sure we'll chat again sometime. Bye!"

She hurries off, and I think of Koharu. I wonder how JP’s locates people with spiritual power, if we can find more doctors. Perhaps I should ask Makoto instead if it’s about increasing manpower.

Yamato's always done everything by himself, after all.


	6. Realizing Eden

Serendipity is when reportedly the city's best takoyaki turns out to be near one of the best sweet shops and only a short walk away. I convince Yamato to leave his uniform coat behind before leading him towards Tennōji.

Shinsekai is bustling with colourful shops and restaurants. Replica Biliken statues grace every street corner, and tacky posters advertising a variety of entertainment options adorn the walls. As we weave through the evening crowd, Yamato looks around like he’s never been here even though the Tsuutenkaku and JP’s are just down the street. I decide to duck into a tiny kushikatsu shop around the corner for a snack, and we replace a leaving couple at the counter before picking out some seafood, pumpkin, meat and cheese. Despite eyeing the food dubiously, Yamato removes his gloves and follows my lead, dipping the skewers into the sauce before eating. I’m pleased he seems to enjoy everything except the pumpkin, and after we trade skewers, he asks if I like food served like this.

“No, I have a sweet tooth,” I say with a laugh. “Yaki mitarashi dango just happens to be skewered too. I’d like it even if it wasn’t.”

“Then why not just eat the sauce?”

“Because the rest of it makes the sauce taste better.”

The look in his eyes says he’s taking mental notes as we finish with iced soda and tea, then pay and leave. There’s a line outside now, and Yamato looks back bemusedly. “Why don’t they just have bigger shops instead of making people wait in line?” There are only twelve seats inside.

“Well, space is expensive in the cities, so sometimes the owners can’t afford a bigger place. Sometimes, they’re just renting the place from someone else, and the shop next door belongs to a different landlord. Maybe there are other reasons too. Look." I point across the street. “There's another kushikatsu joint over there. If you didn't know which was better, which would you try?"

Violet eyes glitter. “I see. Civilians are basically sheep, after all. If you show them a herd, they will join it."

"Not all. Some non-sheep thought this up and applied it, right?" I turn and resume walking. "Anyway, there are many little shops like this all over the country.”

Up ahead, there’s a crowd of people gathered, and curiosity makes me tiptoe for a look as I pass. To my surprise, it's Keita grudgingly giving out autographs.

“Look, I keep telling the idiot chef it's a dumbass name," he's saying with a look of resigned exasperation as he signs a poster. “But I've gotta admit it's good chawan mushi."

Oh? On closer inspection, some of the fans are clutching posters of him with medals or plaques — he must be moving up in the boxing world. There are a few holding magazines though, and when I get a good look at one of them, it’s held open to a page with a photo of him eating at a small restaurant. I recognize Jungo leaning over the counter to talk to him — should have known when he said chawan mushi, really.

Perhaps this is what Alcor means by fate. Even without our memories, we are drawn to each other. I wonder, have any of the others met?

“A friend of yours?" Yamato asks from behind me.

I shake my head, walking on. "Not yet. He might help us someday. He's a strong believer in your ideals." That's why I won't approach him yet — Keita would only encourage the extremism I'm trying to mellow out.

"A wise man."

Paying the admission fee, I lead Yamato into Tennōji Park for a break from the crowded streets. I hear it's only open at night for a few months of the year, after all, and it's quite beautiful. Despite the lights display, there aren't too many people around as we stroll past cute hedge sculptures and serene water features, and it’s quiet, tranquil. Yamato smiles at our perfectly landscaped surroundings, doesn’t move away when I reach for his hand, and that's when I notice — he hasn't reworn his gloves yet.

The last time we held hands sans gloves was that final night in his bed.

Alone in the light tunnel, I hear his sharp intake of breath when I embrace him suddenly from behind. "I'm sorry." I don't trust my voice above a whisper. “Will you let me stay like this for a bit?"

Instead of answering, he leans back, covering my hands with his own, and I bury my face in his shoulder, closing my eyes to savour the illusion. I've missed our closeness, the warmth and the scent of his skin. I wouldn't put it past Yamato to indulge me because my attachment suits his purposes, but it still hurts to let go.

Each step back feels like a mile between us.

“Did you have a garden growing up?” I ask as I turn away, trying for a distraction.

“Yes.” He pulls his gloves on as we resume walking. “The Hotsuin estate in Kyoto has one.”

“It must be beautiful," befitting of the perfection his clan strives for.

"You'll see it someday."

I chuckle, teasing, as we pass the pond. “Careful, that sounds like a marriage proposal."

His brows furrow. “But w— Is that a joke? I don’t return there often, but you can visit the next time I do."

It's always hard to tell whether Yamato is being sweet or manipulative, but it makes me smile either way, and we fall into a comfortable silence as we head towards the other exit. The streets on this side are less crowded than Shinsekai, although the reverse is probably true in the day. We reach the sweet shop first and buy an assortment, then walk further on towards the takoyaki shop. There's quite a crowd —it's their main store, after all, and they're popular— and it already smells amazing from several doors down. I join the line to get their recommended assortment of four while he stands a little way off to the side, watching people chat and eat in their little clusters nearby.

"You have to try this," I declare as I return with the takoyaki, lifting one to feed him. “It's really good."

This time, he smiles indulgently and accepts it without question or hesitation. Just like before, violet eyes widen, and I grin as he grabs the second pair of chopsticks to start wolfing the rest down. We end up getting a second helping and finishing that together too.

"So is this dinner, or should we get something else?"

He leans back on the side of a building, arms crossed. “You know this unknown world, Hibiki. I came along as you asked. What other surprises have you planned for me?"

Yamato has never struck me as the type to like surprises, and I suspect he's not asking about the night's plans. Still, “We can't do them all tonight, unfortunately. Come out with me again some time."

He smiles knowingly, but doesn't press. "Are we heading back then?"

I loop my arm through his, leading him to the crossing to circle back. "I didn't say that. We could though."

When the light changes, everyone falls in step and crosses as one, and I guide him towards Tennōji station.

"Even in simple things like these, people try not to stand out. Everywhere, people with greater ability are forced to defer to those with rank, wealth or seniority." He frowns bitterly. "One day, this great nation will fall to ruin because our broken society won't allow us to advance. It has already begun."

This is likely truer in Japan than anywhere else. I've read that, in other countries, people aren't as pressured to put up pretenses in order to maintain social harmony, and it's more acceptable to outshine your superiors.

I lean into him as we ride the escalator down. “We'll just have to change it, won't we? Play their game for a time, then pull the board out from under them when they least expect it?"

His eyes light up, and we share a conspiratorial smile.

“This will to make our ideals take shape... Hahaha, truly marvellous! I never thought I'd find someone like you." His smile turns fierce as I lead him toward another famous shop. "Very well, Hibiki. I'll give you every opportunity within my power. I look forward to seeing what you can achieve."

I clasp his hand as we join the line. “I just need time, Yamato. We have to change the world this time."

This place makes the best pork buns, and I buy half a dozen along with some mango pudding. While we wait, Yamato observes the shops, commuters and facilities with interest — shop assistants graciously attend customers; travellers stow extras in coin lockers; weary salarymen buy bento boxes for dinner on the train home. This must be his first time in a public train station, too. Before, I think he'd have been disdainful. Now, he's simply fascinated.

Standing in the corner by the shop, we take a bun each while it's still hot, and he's on his second one before I've even finished my first. How many times, I wonder, has he walked past all of these simple pleasures, all of this life, without even sparing a glance? There are so many things I want to show him, so many little ways ordinary people derive joy from their daily lives.

"You knew," he says softly as I open a pack of pudding. “You knew I would like all of these things."

"No, only the takoyaki. You even learned how to make it. The rest, I'm very happy you like as well." Osaka is inundated with some of the best food — it's known as the nation's kitchen for good reason.

When we finish eating, he watches bemusedly as I buy us single journey tickets from "antiquated" machines before we go through the gates towards the platforms, and again, the rumble of the arriving train chills me to the core.

Yamato tightens his grip on my hand and asks, "Why are you afraid?" when I turn to him in surprise.

I smile resignedly as we board the train. "It started with a train crash." He leans in to say something as the doors close, and I shake my head, but hold his shoulder to keep our proximity. "I keep worrying that we'll run out of time before we've even started."

Looping my arm through a rail, I take out my cellphone to switch it to silent mode only to see I've missed a message. It's my mother, asking when I'm next off and if I can come home for dinner. It's next Wednesday, and I ask if I can bring a colleague.

“Come home with me next week," I tell him, letting inertia carry me into his arms. Predictably, my mother's reply assumes it's my new girlfriend.

Well, she's not far wrong.

I still tell her it's a boy though, let her be disappointed in her assumptions.

“Is that a marriage proposal?" He wraps an arm around me to steady us both, and I almost say yes.

"If it were, would you say yes?" I ask instead, keeping my tone light and teasing. If nothing else, it's good he's picking up a sense of humour.

He laughs indulgently. “At the very least, I wouldn't say no."

Definitely manipulative. He really means, "I'll think about it if and when you prove I can fully trust you and you're truly worthy." I disembark to switch train lines, and he notes the orderly flow of people from one platform to the next for a moment as he follows.

“Still, perhaps I will find out which specific aspects of common life should result in someone like you. As yet, I fail to see anything that stands out as a possible factor."

“Heh. If that's the kind of reason you need, then yes, you may just find the answers in my house. It might be a test of your infiltration skills too." I glance back to wink as I lead him aboard the next train.

Intrigued, he echoes, "Infiltration? Why would I need to infiltrate your home?" He raises an eyebrow at the nearby sleepers — most don't even stir as the doors close.

"Because they won't behave normally if they know the truth. Then you won't get to make any real observations." Grinning, I pick a spot near the doors because ours is the next stop. “Besides, it's all classified, right?”

He scoffs. "Any outsider's presence will induce pretenses. The observations will be skewed regardless."

"Well, if I tell my family you're my boss or my love interest, it would be fifty to sixty percent skewed instead of twenty." We exit the train and make our way back up to ground level. "If I add that you attend meetings with members of the Diet and Cabinet, that goes up to seventy or eighty percent." Spotting some vending machines, I stop for drinks — unsweetened coffee for Yamato and milk tea for me. "At what margin of error would you prefer to be observing?"

"I see. How pervasive."

"What, social dishonesty?" Sipping my tea, I chuckle as we round the corner. “It keeps the peace, at least. I imagine if everyone were completely honest, most people would be at each other's throats.” He scans his ID card — we've reached JP’s. “Even the habit of not standing out has its benefit — you can't envy what you don't know about. That's one fewer motive for crime."

"Hmph, it is exceedingly base to expect the same reward for different results. Envy is but the mud that failures throw on the achievements of the successful." He crosses his arms as we head down the empty corridor. “Only trash would resort to robbing the fruits of another's efforts because they know they lack the ability to obtain it themselves."

An agent steps out of one of the work centres and greets us as she passes. I return the greeting and wait till she is out of earshot before resuming this conversation I've all but baited him into.

"Indeed. On the other hand, everyone desires the same rewards, but everyone's success is different. It's true man has never known equality from the moment of his birth. Everyone is different. Some will be economists; some will be artists; some will be physicists; others will be athletes. But if they are each brilliant at just that one thing, which of them is more successful?"

"Whichever is more relevant to the situation at hand," he replies flatly as we enter the residential wing.

“And what situation is that? You're right, of course, but situations are constantly evolving. The most relevant skill today could be useless tomorrow. Yet, for the longest time now, this world has consistently rewarded some successes more greatly than others. There are also those who never get the opportunity to discover their abilities." We stop outside his quarters, and I turn to face him with a cheeky smile. “If the Purge hadn't happened, I never would have known demons could be tamed or that I had the ability. I suppose I should thank Polaris?"

"This world is broken. In our ideal world, everyone will have the opportunity to prove themselves. The dregs will weed themselves out."

I hide a smile. “No matter what it is they're best at?"

"Of course. There are many ways to contribute to the betterment of the world."

That's it — I just need to broaden his definition of merit beyond “the wise, the informed and the powerful.” Progress — I have his foot in the door. "And training?"

"For anyone with room to improve, of course. The best must lead the others. That is how we will create the brightest future."

Great, I’ll just have to remind him of this the next time he writes someone off as flawed. “Mm, let me hear that again."

"The b—"

I give him a pointed look.

It takes some contemplation for him to catch on.

"Heh." He shakes his head at my adoring smile, but indulges me anyway. “We will create our ideal world."

"Thanks. You always used to say ‘I’ and 'my,' so that's the sweetest thing I've heard today." It may be a diversion, but I'm still being genuine — I could kiss him.

"Come in," he says as he unlocks the door, still shaking his head. “We should prepare for your first meeting with the Diet on Monday."

It's great to be back here, and I can’t decide what I'm most excited about as I follow him in.

Definitely progress.


	7. Still Waters

Our meeting today is with the Special Committee on Disasters. Yamato is required to attend the meetings of a few committees of both the House of Representatives and the House of Councillors — not as a voting member, of course, since he wasn't elected to his position. As the ministers and representatives enter the formal medium-sized room, Yamato introduces me.

“Mister Arai, Mister Yoshida, Madam Sasaki." He indicates them in turn. "Please meet my new assistant, Kuze Hibiki."

I bow to them. “Good afternoon. I look forward to working with and learning from you.”

"Ah, Hotsuin. What happened to the other one?" asks Yoshida, a bespectacled greying man. "The lady that's always with you?"

"Sako is long overdue a partner to share her workload with, and I've finally found a suitable candidate."

From the quickly concealed look on their faces, I can tell they disagree. We’re two teenagers in a room full of middle-aged politicians, after all. At least Makoto is twenty-six.

"I see," Sasaki chimes in. “You never had Miss Sako accompany you to our meetings before.”

Yamato smiles, and I can almost hear the “Don’t question me, civilian,” that he’s thinking. “Someone has to hold down the fort while I’m here. Moreover, our attendance is occasionally requested while I’m busy in another part of the country. Now, I have assigned one Vice Chief to each of those roles.”

More of them arrive, and the introductions continue in much the same vein. A few seem friendlier than others, at least, but I can see this will be quite the uphill climb. The meeting begins as soon as everyone has arrived, and I sit behind Yamato to watch as they discuss the floods in the northeast.

“The water levels aren’t going down as quickly as we expected, and it’s hard to get any repairing or rebuilding efforts properly underway,” Kohada is saying.

Chairman Akino indicates Mitsuoka next, and he opines, “It’s more important to provide relief to the victims. They’ve lost everything and require our support more than ever.”

“Point of inquiry — do we have the budget for this?” Yamato asks in his usual calm, cordial tone.

“We will have to refer to the Budget Committee for that," replies the chairman.

“Perhaps if we actively drain the water, it will speed things up." It's Arai's turn. "Waiting hasn't improved the situation, and our response has been poor enough as it stands."

Takada then declares, "I say we relocate the victims instead of waiting. Who knows when the area will be habitable again? We can't continue to leave them hanging."

"Even if we manage to get rid of the water and rebuild," Sasaki points out, "can we be sure it's really safe for the people to return there?"

"Relocation is easier said than done," Haneda pipes up. “It raises the questions of where to send them, what if they don't want to leave, and so on. These are their homes and lives in question."

Yoshida sighs. “We will have to reallocate some funds regardless."

"Duly noted," says Akino. “We will move it in plenary."

I raise an eyebrow. Suddenly, I deeply understand Yamato's resentment.

We head outside for a short break, and Yamato steps aside to make and take some calls. Some walk outdoors in a group for a smoke while the others mingle, use the restroom and grab something to drink.

As I'm sipping my tea, Haneda approaches with a pleasant smile. "So, Kuze, how did you find our meeting so far?" She was one of the friendlier ones earlier, a greying lady with a motherly demeanour.

“Ah, Madam Haneda, it was very interesting. Before I was scouted by JP’s, I wanted to go to university for political science. I was considering a career in politics when I'm older as well, so I appreciate the opportunity to observe this process so closely." It's not a lie per se — politics was one of many options I considered.

“So young and already so interested in the governance of the country, how admirable. If only more of our youth were like you."

"Many of my peers believe they are powerless to affect the political landscape, you see, hence their apathy. But some people are trying to change that through online forums and school workshops. I've attended some good conferences too."

"Yes, I've been to some of those. It's a good movement, long overdue for us." She smiles wistfully. "When I was your age, I only cared about fashion and pop idols. We were so superficial then... maybe we still are. It wasn't until I had my first child that I really started to care about our future as a nation."

"I think that's even more admirable. How many children do you have?"

"Two, a son and a daughter. Our Minori is about your age now." Her brows furrow as she finishes her coffee. "It's been hard on her, I'm sure, helping to raise her brother while I'm busy here. They probably wish I had more time to spend with them."

This sure sounds familiar. No wonder the aging population problem keeps getting worse — no one has any time for bearing and raising children with all the career pressure.

“Once they see the future you’ve built for them, I’m sure they’d understand,” I offer, finishing my tea. "It's noble, I think, to pave the way not only for your children, but for everyone else's as well. It's why I personally wanted to participate in government, at least. Being able to contribute to everyone's future and daily lives feels very meaningful."

"Oh, what a good perspective." Haneda clasps her hands. “I hope you never lose sight of that feeling. If only we were in Morioka, perhaps our Miura could learn something from you." She sighs wearily. "All he does is read manga and sit in front of his computer. I worry that his grades will slip if he doesn't spend more time on his studies. Entrance exams are in two years, and universities are so competitive these days."

I used to hear this from Daichi's mom a lot, along with "if only you'd rub off on him a bit more." It goes to show even politicians have typical maternal concerns. Not everyone wants to go to university though — there are many other vocations and qualifications. But that probably isn't what Haneda wants to hear.

"Well, if his grades are good now, he'll continue to do fine, I'm sure," I tell her reassuringly. “Maybe he studies on his computer. It's easier to search for information on the Internet than to flip through a thick book these days."

"Mm...perhaps." She doesn't seem too convinced.

“Say, Madam Haneda, would you mind if I shadowed you on one of my off days?" It's finally the proper time to ask. "Just so I can see for myself what an average day as a Diet member is like. Committees are only a small, albeit important, fraction of your work, aren't they?"

"Oh, but of course!" Her motherly beam is back in full force. "I'd take you in as an intern if you weren't attached to JP’s. It'd be remiss of me not to nurture your well-placed interest."

I bow low. “Thank you so much! I'm deeply grateful for the opportunity. Would this Wednesday be a good day?"

"Wednesday is perfect. We have plenary that day too."

Excellent — I'll get to observe everybody. "Ah, thank you again. I'm looking forward to it."

I share a look with Yamato as we head back into the meeting room to resume the discussion. It does pay to be nice, even as a pretense. Someday, perhaps, he'll agree.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_As I'm headed out, I find Io talking to Yamato in a corridor and decide to step back around the bend out of sight to avoid interrupting them. It's about his merit system, of course, but instead of disagreeing outright, which she probably does, Io is asking why he announced it, knowing it would cause a schism within the group. Even now, instead of stating her opinion, Io seeks to preserve the social harmony Yamato cares little for, and as expected, he rather harshly ends the conversation, if only because she won't stand and argue. To be honest, I'm surprised he even gave her the time of day._

_As soon as Io rounds the corner out of earshot, Yamato turns around. "Now then... You're there, aren't you, Hibiki?"_

_"Aww, you figured it out," I say with a sheepish grin as I join him in the corridor. It's good I have the rare privilege of being playful with him. We'd be at least friends if he only understood the concept._

_"Hahaha... Look who's talking. You knew that I noticed your presence, didn't you?"_

_Well, no, I didn't, but I'm not surprised. It'd be pretty dangerous for a man in his position if it were easy to sneak up on him. It's not like I was hiding very well._

_"But I can see they have begun to consider. Now then... what conclusions will they reach?"_

_I sigh. "It'll vary, I think." Even I am no more decided than I was last night. There are advantages I can see to both Yamato and Ronaldo's ideals, just as there are disadvantages, and I don’t know if the profits outweigh the consequences in either case._

_"Indeed it will. But no matter what anyone thinks, I will not waver from this path."_

That stubbornness is why you're always so alone, _I think._ You shut everyone and everything out before giving them a chance to prove you wrong. _It was like that with us too. He wanted us imprisoned until we defeated Dubhe._

_"No matter how desperately they struggle, only one world can be made... Only one is worthy," he continues. "If those dregs who waste time propping each other up cannot agree to my merit system, then I will gladly sacrifice every last one for my ideal. Hibiki..."_

_I look up to meet his gaze, and I see longing, hesitation. I want to go with him, but this isn't just about the two of us._

_"I do respect you," is what he settles for saying at last. "I won't force you, but I hope you consider this carefully."_

_Yamato gracefully salutes, and I catch his hand as he turns to leave._

_"She's right, you know." I grin as he raises an eyebrow. "If you were just nicer, you might be ruling Japan by now. It's called a_ popular _vote for a reason."_

_It takes a second, but then he cracks up with genuine mirth. “It's an interesting theory you posit, Hibiki. Perhaps, in another life, I can test it."_

_I watch as he walks away. In another life, huh? Now that's an idea._

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

The meeting resumes less interestingly than it began. Having quibbled enough about what they should be doing, they've moved on to debating the wording of the bill. It's important, but boring. And moot if we don't have the funding for whatever it is we're going to do anyway. Takada has procured a copy of the budget with current disbursement percentage during the break, and they've collectively concluded that reallocation of funds promises to be rather challenging.

I'm starting to wonder why we're even required to attend this meeting. It's not like they're interested in our input. Yamato has moved on to reading some JP's reports by pretending to study the meeting handouts, and I'm scrutinizing the budget for ways to spend less than we earn. I realise that there are many important matters that require funding, of course, but we also cannot continue to borrow this money indefinitely. I'm glad I'll get to keep this budget handout for further study and reference.

"Ah, Hotsuin, I'm sure there's something you can do about this."

Kohada's sudden attention gives way to awkward silence as Yamato looks up like he's been waiting for this moment all day, which I'm sure he has — this, I realise, is the reason we're here.

"If you are referring to the water levels, then yes, that is indeed within my power to affect." He carefully reshuffles his papers and sets them down. “As far as evacuation, relief efforts and funding go, however, there is, unfortunately, nothing I can do without risking public exposure of our existence."

"Well, that simplifies things," says Arai. “In that case, you should drain the water as soon as possible."

I keep my expression neutral and attentive with all my self-restraint as they wrap up the meeting by summarizing their suggestions for plenary, and we bow gracefully and smile politely to everyone on our way out. As soon as we turn into an empty corridor, I take a deep calming breath.

“So what did you think of it?" Yamato asks as he scans his ID card for the private elevator down to the Tokyo Branch.

“I understand your ideals better than ever," I answer tersely as the doors open.

He covers his mouth with a gloved hand to muffle a choked little sound as we walk in, and it's not till the lift doors close that he fully bursts out laughing.

Turning to me, he manages to stop long enough to say, “Ah, H—"

I throw my arms around him before he can finish, but he's too distracted to continue, probably. “I'm sorry," I whisper, for so many things — I don't even know where to begin. I bury my face in the crook of his neck. “Leave it to me. I won’t let them use you like this."

To my surprise, he returns the embrace, and it's just like I remember — like he never wants to let go. The tears are spilling before I notice to stop them, and I'm not sure who's comforting whom anymore.

"Not for much longer, at any rate," I add, wiping my eyes before I step back as the elevator comes to a stop. I know he's always right beside me, but I still miss him so much — it's not the same.

Chuckling, he lets go. “Lofty words, but you’ve backed them up before.” Leading the way to his office, he nods at passing staff members bowing in greeting. "In the meantime, for the flood operation tonight, the more personnel there are on site, the less discreet it will be. The two of us should suffice."

I wait till we're alone again to tease, "That's your idea of a date?" At his puzzled expression, I laugh, shaking my head. “It was a joke. Don't worry about it."

"Well then." We've reached the end of this corridor, and I should turn left to head to my room while he turns right to reach his office. "Rest and prepare. Meet me at the Terminal at zero two hundred hours."

"Of course.”

We part ways, and I decide to catch some sleep after grabbing a bite to eat. There are some hours yet, and I don’t expect I'll have time for a nap after the operation.

Even without any leave days, Yamato never runs out of work to do, after all.


	8. Forgotten Oaths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you for all your support so far! I'm very happy this story is receiving a better response than I expected, and I never tire of hearing from you. Once again, this story is un-beta-ed, so let me know if you spot anything out of place. I hope you will continue to enjoy all future chapters.

By the time I reach the Terminal room, still yawning, Yamato is already waiting with a cup of coffee and some kind of hazmat suit. I don’t ask whether he's slept.

"Finish the coffee and put this on."

He hands them to me, and I take a sip. It's sweet — he remembers the perfect amount of cream and sugar although I've only had coffee with him twice. I'm guessing there’s something we’ll need in the coffee — he wouldn't bother otherwise. Quickly, I down it, and we help each other with the heavy suit.

“Reports indicate we might not need these, but it would be unwise to take unnecessary risks."

"I concur, and I'd never complain about you helping to dress me," I say with a grin.

He laughs. “I would’ve thought you'd prefer I helped _un_ dress you."

"You shouldn't flirt back if you don't mean it," I chide teasingly. “I'm plenty in love with you already."

"Heh." He turns to the Terminal unit and pulls out his phone to key in the code. "We should get going."

I don't know if I'll ever get used to that sensation of being torn apart, spun wildly through a vortex and put back together, but I blink and we're at our destination. I must have swayed because Yamato grips my shoulder to steady me.

“I don’t know what you define as flirting," he continues seriously. “You are usually pleased when I respond positively to your romantic overtures.”

“I'd be pleased if your positivity is sincere," I explain, “and, of course, I like to believe that it is.” _But you'd manipulate me if you had to, if you could._ And it’s better, _safer,_ to let him think he can, so I look up, letting a touch of vulnerability show. “I just… hope you’re not simply leading me on. You know you don’t have to.”

He smiles, revealing nothing, and gets back to business as we start walking. "We might not have to leave the building to accomplish our objective. Let us assess the situation from the roof before we proceed."

"The simplest and subtlest solution, regardless,” I reply, following suit, “would be to command a bunch of Aquans to move the flood waters to the ocean. Elemental spirits are relatively inconspicuous."

“You are intelligent as always. I elected to have us both come personally because Aquans are not particularly powerful spirits and will require summoners with sufficient spiritual power to sustain their work.”

The branch is deserted — most personnel are asleep. We meet no one as we head to the roof, and Yamato is visibly displeased by the empty command centre.

"There should be at least one person on duty here no matter the time of day," I mutter with a worried frown. What good are sensors and alarm systems with no one to receive their warnings? It is dangerously complacent. “I'll look into this," I promise, half to myself.

"If only I could find more subordinates like you," Yamato sighs over the built-in radio as we seal the suits.

Oh. Looks like I won't have to talk to Makoto about recruitment, after all. "Perhaps we'll find them yet," I say as we step outside.

Inside the suit, I can’t feel the air, but the dank stillness that stretches out around us can’t be captured in the photos I’ve seen. It’s dark and quiet thanks to the evacuation and power outage. In the illumination of the clear night's moon, I can see where it’s still flooded in the ruined city around us. It would be clearer in the daylight, perhaps, but the Aquans won’t need to see per se. We summon them, give them their commands and let the spirits do their work. Even with magic, this will take some time.

"How does JP’s locate people with spiritual power?"

"Knowing what to look for allows us to evaluate this from comprehensive medical examinations."

That's right — they used data from our physicals to determine that Io was the most suitable medium for Lugh. Makoto, too, was discovered after her career-ruining accident landed her in the hospital.

“There is a measurable physical attribute that governs spiritual aptitude?"

"Yes. We indirectly measure the amount of magnetite in an individual's body. Above a certain threshold, they are sensitive to spiritual energies and have the potential to be summoners. All humans, and all demons as well, have magnetite. It is correlated with the ability to manipulate chi and other forms of energy, including using magic skills and physically materializing a summoned demon."

"Then if we search through public medical records, we might find more suitable personnel?"

"As you can see, we've recruited many with spiritual aptitude; yet, they are simple, modern people. Training does not improve their abilities." Yamato says, longsuffering. "We need more people like you, but if they were so easy to find, there'd be more of them amongst us."

"Personally, I wouldn't want more people like me around," I reply with a teasing chuckle. “It's difficult enough getting your attention without any competition."

He turns to me, expression pensive through the suit's face mask. “It's not," he says at length. “You are a man of great ability and potential, as well as considerable wisdom, despite your origins. I respect you and value our thought-provoking conversations."

I blink slowly — this is rare praise, although I’ve heard some of it before. “I... I don't know what to say. This is the first compliment you've paid me that actually sounds like one."

Chuckling, he replies, “Then say nothing. As I have opted to." His mirth fades into seriousness. “I won't hasten to give you an uncertain answer."

"I appreciate that," I tell him, although I can guess what he thinks — I'm too dangerous to love, too valuable to alienate, and if he can't trust or control me, he will kill me once I outlive my usefulness.

“Where do you propose we assign additional personnel?"

“I think we need more medical staff. Three doctors are too few for an organisation as large as ours."

He smiles like my answer was expected. “You may seek them out, Hibiki, although you may find that more difficult than it’s worth."

I turn back to the task at hand. “If it will achieve our ends, Yamato, it is worth everything."

Silence stretches out between us as we observe the Aquans at work. We've made a lot of progress — the flood waters are almost gone.

"You surprise me," Yamato says suddenly, and I glance at him in question. "That civilian life and a week of Polaris’ trials should produce someone like you... And you said most of those who fought with us against Polaris were civilians like yourself?" He shakes his head bemusedly. “Perhaps I haven't looked closely enough at the civilian population."

“Then let’s look.” Before we faced Polaris together, I doubt he would have even considered this possibility. I’m glad that week opened his mind, that there’s a chance for us now even without his memories. “It’d be easy to find our allies again, but let’s seek out new possibilities for now. If Polaris purges the world when it has lost its reason to live, we should avoid taking people away from what gives their lives purpose. They rediscovered that during the trials, so they should be pursuing their dreams now, like we are.”

"And what is that for you, exactly?"

"To be honest, if you had asked me before Polaris’ judgment, I don't think I could have given you a definite answer. I probably would have gone to university, chosen a career and maybe I would someday have discovered my purpose, or maybe I never would have. But now..." I turn to face him as the Aquans finish their work. "At the risk of sounding mawkish, my dream is to fulfill the promise I made to you." Well, not just him, but they all go hand-in-hand.

Violet eyes consider me as we return the spirits. “To change the world?" he asks when it becomes clear that I won't elaborate.

“That's part of it, yes."

"Is there a reason you won't tell me?"

I let out a self-deprecating chuckle, leaning back against the parapet. “Would it be utterly maudlin if I said I want you to remember it yourself? That it would mean more to me that way than if I told you?" Glancing up, I catch his impassive expression. “It would, wouldn't it?"

Looking away, he replies, "No, I respect your decision. I have no reason to force it from you."

 _Yet,_ my cynicism adds mentally. _And by the time you do, you wouldn't believe me anyway._ "How about this? One year," I offer instead, holding up one finger. “If, in one year, you haven't remembered or figured it out, ask me again then. I promise I'll tell you."

Yamato laughs, acceptant. “Very well."

"You must think me foolishly sentimental." I drop my gaze, smiling sheepishly.

“Yes, but not where it matters, so it's of no consequence." He turns around and reaches for the door. "We're done here. Let us be going."

I check the time and my remaining air supply. "Can we stay another five minutes?"

"Why?"

I grin. “You'll see."

Yamato tilts his head, but doesn't question it, moving to rest against the parapet beside me. I lean into him slightly, and the silence is comfortable. There’s no tower nearby though. We're atop what appears to be a nondescript office building. Every other JP’s branch I've seen is near the tower they need to maintain. Still, only the towers at Tokyo, Osaka, Nagoya and Sapporo were standing by the time we joined JP’s. The only others we managed to contact were Beppu and Hakata, and those towers were already down.

There's a JP's branch in every prefecture, but "Are there only six towers in total?"

It takes a moment for him to parse my sudden question. "Yes. Why?"

"I'm curious why you couldn't build more barriers."

Ronaldo would have people believe that the Hotsuin family only protects the cities in which they have personal interests. I don't know the rest of the clan, but I know Yamato — he's a lot of things, but not selfish. He’s also surprisingly patriotic — no one takes the responsibility of protecting Japan more seriously.

"It's the flow of the Dragon Stream." He crosses his arms and frowns — this is an old frustration. “Simply put, only those six locations can effectively sustain a barrier."

If the Dragon Stream is the chi that flows through the land, then "Just as the human body has chakra centres where the flow of chi is more concentrated than others, so are there places where the Dragon Stream is more concentrated than others, you mean? And the six towers were built on those places?"

"That's my Hibiki." It's tempting to kiss the approving smile off his lips, to show him what that used to mean. "You haven't met Kanno yet, have you?"

"Not this time. Nagoya branch, right?"

He inclines his head. “I will inform her that you are coming. She can aid you in your search for new personnel."

Oh, I'm sure. Whatever is fuelling that conspiracy theory about the government —or at least JP's— knowing everything about you, Fumi probably has a hand in it. "I'll head to Nagoya first chance I get."

That's when I notice the change — it's time.

“Look." I point east — the first rays of the rising sun sparkle in reflection on the water. "Isn't it beautiful?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Have you never seen the sunrise?"

"From this high up? No. Over the ocean? Only a couple of times." I turn to him with an adoring smile. “With you? I'd actually like to be down there." I point to the beach — a flock of birds fly over it under the lightening sky. “Holding hands with our bare feet in the fine sand and the waves washing over our ankles." Grinning, I add, “Besides, there's no reason not to watch something beautiful again, right? It's not like you can think me more of a sap than you already do."

"Hmph." He shakes his head. “Come, we should return. We can go to the beach some other time."

"Oh, we can?" I ask with a coy smile as we remove and stow the suits. “You'll come with me?"

"Stop. It really is maudlin," he chides as we head back down, but there's no heat in it.

We’ve reached the command centre again, and it's still empty. Taking a deep calming breath, I go to the stopwatch function on my phone and hit an alarm button. We wait — Yamato with his arms crossed, myself with eyes trained on the time. First, there's panic as people rush in, then dread when they see us.

“I should start visiting every branch unannounced," Yamato declares, tone clipped with displeasure.

“How many are on duty today?" I ask the gathered staff.

“Thirty, sir," one of the nearby guys volunteers timidly.

“It's been three minutes since I hit the alarm. Only twenty-six of you are here.” I have to force myself to remain calm. “Why was the command centre empty? Who was supposed to be here?"

"Agent Shimono, sir," answers a lady to my left, handing me the roster.

“Where is this agent?" Yamato asks, deceptively calm — he’s angry enough for us both.

“U—um... N—nowhere to be found, sir," says a cowering man — Yamato has that effect on people. "I don't think anyone has seen him today."

“And it didn’t occur to anyone to take his place here?” He extends his hand, and I hand him the roster.

“C—Chief Hotsuin—”

“Don’t.” Yamato holds up his free hand to interrupt — he’s never been one to tolerate excuses.

“The command centre should never be empty.” I squeeze my eyes shut — it's very hard to sound less upset than I am. “Protocols say you have two minutes to get here after the alarm triggers, and I still don’t count thirty. If there had been early warnings on the sensors, would anyone have sounded the alarm till it was too late? Is this what happened during the last disaster?”

Could evacuations have commenced earlier? Maybe more people could have been saved. Was it like this in Beppu and Hakata too?

A chill creeps into the room as a dreadful silence falls. The branch staff are exchanging terrified glances — I’ve made a dangerous implication. At any rate, we can't fire everyone, but I wonder if Yamato will punish them, if he thinks they can be fixed.

Actually, no, I have a better idea.

"Your next three days off are cancelled," I announce before Yamato can decide. I'm sure they're less than pleased, but no one would dare so much as murmur dissatisfaction under his murderous glare. “Instead, on those days, you will sign up as a volunteer for the relief efforts here. You will represent the Meteorological Agency and submit proof of your participation." Looking around as I pause to let it sink in, I see growing surprise. "This will neither be the only nor the worst disaster we may face. Maybe there was nothing you could do this time. That doesn't mean you won't have a chance to prevent the next. Go out there. Look at your city and remember. Reflect on what your negligence can cost you and the people around you."

I turn to leave. No one moves.

“Hmph." Yamato taps the roster as I pass. "Agent Tsuda."

"Y—yes, sir!"

"Take over Agent Shimono's duties. Agent Kenzo."

"Yes, Chief?"

"If a report on this incident and the circumstances of Agent Shimono's absence is not on my desk by tomorrow morning, you will _both_ be fired. I have no reason to keep people who don’t take our work seriously within JP’s. Dismissed."

As he joins me outside, I hear the agents scurry to their posts, sighing in relief. Wordlessly, we walk back to the Terminal, and for once, I can't even guess at what he's thinking.

“You think I was too kind," I hazard as we enter.

“Not at all. I think it was wasted on them. However, it is an elegant solution to a thirty-person problem," he replies without turning, keying in the code.

"On them, perhaps," I agree. "It won't be wasted on the victims or the watching public, however."

He finally turns to me, meeting my gaze, violet eyes alight. “You will be at the Diet tomorrow?"

"Yes. Are you still coming over for dinner?"

He wraps an arm around me, and my mind blanks out as we're pulled through the vortex again. Then we're in Osaka's Terminal room, my temple is resting lightly on his cheek, and there are several compelling reasons not to move.

“Unless some pressing matter arises, yes," he answers, stepping back, and it takes a few seconds to recall what we were discussing through the fleeting sense of loss.

"Great." It puts a spring in my step as I follow him outside — I can’t even stay upset.

He won't have any "pressing" work left to do by then — I’ll make sure of it.


	9. Dangerous Choices

Fumi's workspace is just as I remember — a cross between a laboratory and a junkyard. Various machinery in varying condition and their parts are strewn all over the floor; computers and equipment cover the table; books and binders fill several shelves. Despite the clutter, I'm sure it's perfectly organized — there simply isn't enough space for all her projects.

As I reach out to knock on the open door, a voice amid the machines warns, "Don't touch anything."

"Don't worry, I have a sense of self-preservation," I call back. I remember these contraptions, and I'm still not sure Jungo wasn't permanently damaged.

Fumi pokes her head out from behind the wall of monitors as I step in. “Oh hello. You must be the new Vice Chief."

Grinning, I hold up my hands. “Guilty as charged."

"The Chief told me you'd be coming." She smiles, intrigued. “He must hold you in very high esteem. Even Mako doesn't get full clearance."

Oh? "Our interests are aligned, that's all."

"Really now?" She glances back at her screens — she hasn't stopped typing. “I heard about what happened this morning, by the way. Interesting."

"My actions or our Chief condoning them?"

"Bit of both, mostly the latter. Anyone else would have deferred to him, too, instead of making the decision."

Oh. I should be careful about that going forward. Yamato already sees me as a potential threat.

"But enough idle banter." There's a sense of finality in her tapping of the last few keys. “You're cutting into my research time. What do you need?"

"New personnel. I'm looking to expand our medical team."

"Ah, Otome will thank you for it." She starts typing again. "Assuming we manage to recruit anyone."

Right. I'm guessing we can't exactly approach them and say we'd like to hire them to summon demons, so that they can treat patients who've been injured by demons. It helps that we're the government, but it’s not like we can legally force people to join us. They'll have to see it to believe it, I suppose.

"Guess that's up to me. How do we find them anyway?" I take a peek at her screens as her fingers continue to fly over the keys. "What are we looking for?"

"There's a formula the Chief's family devised that uses the readings from ECGs, EEGs, fMRIs and the like, so anyone who's done these tests will be given a rating on this program I wrote to search through nationwide medical databases and compute the formula value for every individual based on whatever parameters are available, using average values where the necessary readings are not available."

"You're measuring their electromagnetic fields," I conclude. _Illegally, I might add._

“Ah, finally, a brain!" Fumi sighs. “Based on that derivation, an individual is given a rating from one to ten. We're looking for people with a rating of seven or higher." A list pops up on one screen — it's longer than I imagined. “Now to filter by profession field." She inputs that in a flash, and the list dwindles to fifteen.

“Great. Thanks, Fumi. Could you send that to me?"

"Done. Maybe someday, when I’m less busy, we can have tea.”

“Sure. I’d take that over Misovitan D any day.”

“Haha, Otome told you about that, did she?"

Oops. Not this time around, no; I've yet to even meet Koharu.

"No, don't answer that. I'm busy. You got what you came for. Hurry along now."

Ah, good old Fumi — the only person that could ruin anyone's plans and does not care. I'm pretty sure that's why she's our Technical Director — Yamato doesn't even have to trust her.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_It’s late, but I can’t sleep. Yamato isn’t in his office, but he’ll be here soon — I’m sure of it. In the meantime, I look through the documents on his desk, check the unlocked drawers for more and spare a glance at the password field on the computer screen. Yamato isn’t careless — I won’t find anything truly useful. There are some reports on Polaris and the Septentriones though, so I perch on the desk and read those. I smile as the door opens, but continue reading._

_“I thought I told you not to bother snooping around, Hibiki. You can ask me anything.”_

_Looking up, I reply, “Will you tell me anything I ask?” I huff fondly. “If it were top secret, I'd never find it, I know, but I figured you’d come by when you saw me looking around in here.”_

_He mirrors my smile as he steps closer. “You wanted to see me? What would you like to know?"_

_"Everything, of course, but can't I just want to see you?"_

_Yamato invades my space, comes threateningly close —between my knees, up against the polished wooden edge— and it's having entirely the wrong effect. “Is that so? What do you hope to achieve?"_

_"Clarity, perhaps. We bumped into that Anguished One again, by the way. He told everyone that we have a choice, that anyone who can unite the will of the species can create their ideal world."_

_In a flash, he grabs my wrists and pins them above my head on the desk. Papers scatter and fly; I can't say I didn't expect this. I don't resist though — I'm not afraid of him. Instead, I wrap my legs around his hips to hold him in place and let myself imagine the resulting scandal if we were found like this._

_“I should kill you now," he murmurs, mere centimetres away. “It is your leadership that has made the others a formidable force. Without you, they would not be able to oppose me."_

_His smile is still in place — deceptively gentle on my most ruthless friend. It's easy to forget, sometimes, that Yamato is so young, that this world has twisted him more in seventeen years than it has most others in forty._

_"Maybe. But you won't."_

_He raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"_

_I smirk. “I haven’t outlived my usefulness. If even one of the remaining Septentriones is like Megrez, you'll want me and the others on your side."_

_"Ha, what cheek." He lets go. "Though it’s true... I'd want you on my side regardless."_

_I wrap my arms around him before he can move away. "Because I'm powerful?"_

_"And intelligent, yes. You belong with me, Hibiki. Surely, you can see that. Only in my ideal world will you achieve your full potential."_

_I giggle. “You should've stopped at the second sentence."_

_"Hm?"_

_Shaking my head, I say, “I know, I know… But it's not that simple. Let me think about it."_

_"Of course." He props his chin up with an elbow on the table, smiling down at me like we’re whispering sweet nothings. "Like I said, I won't force anyone to join me."_

_Here, like this, it’s warm, and Yamato smells so nostalgic — the woods in traditional houses, the flowers in palace gardens and a hint of food from when he’d dropped by the kitchen about our earlier dinner. There’s no denying that I want him, and the attraction is mutual, but…_

_It'd be nice, I think, if the fate of the world wasn't at stake, if we could stay this way, if we could spend tomorrow making takoyaki instead of fighting. Sometimes, I think like Daichi —it shouldn’t be teenagers like us fighting to decide the fate of the world, and it’d be great if we could just go back to our normal lives— but Yamato has been doing this since—_

_“How long have you been at JP’s?”_

_“I took over as Chief three years ago. Why?”_

_“Just curious." I grin when he sweeps the hair out of my eyes with his free hand, the fabric of his gloves brushing silky smooth over my skin. "Since you seem so experienced.”_

_Fourteen. He’s been doing this since he was fourteen and preparing for it long before. It shouldn’t be him bearing this burden alone either. He should have been learning dodgeball instead of summoning rituals and planning culture festivals instead of battles. He should have gone on summer vacations, visited friends and grabbed snacks from popular stalls along the way home. No one deserves this life._

_I keep my tone light and teasing, switching topics to distract from my sorrow. “Want to tell me about your weird ex? I find myself oddly jealous.”_

_“...weird ex...?”_

_“You know, the Anguished One. You and he are obviously far better acquainted than either one of you are letting on.”_

_“What is there to tell? He gave me information about Polaris some years back. I used it,” but there's a clipped edge to his attempt at nonchalance that I can't put my finger on._

_I shrug. “It sounds like you two had a falling out of some sort.”_ And like you consider each other a significant threat.

_“Hmph. We disagreed about how the world should be, that’s all.” Oh, that's what it is — bitterness._

_“You don't resent anyone else for disagreeing," I point out._

_"I don't res—" He stops, then sighs, shifting to rest his head on my shoulder. “I'm told I owe you my life. I suppose I should repay that somehow."_

_I shake my head again, burying my face in soft silver hair as I reach up to comb my fingers through it, inhaling deeply of the gentle musk beneath the fragrance. Not that I knew the Anguished One's objective at the time, but “I wouldn't let you die if I can help it."_

_"Haha, you can be so compassionate. I don't dislike that about you." Seeking a more comfortable position, he buries his hands in my hair. "Long ago, he taught my ancestors to control their ability to harness the Dragon Stream and gave them summoning spells, as well as much of the arcane technology JP’s continues to use today." Absently, it seems, his fingertips rub circles into my scalp, and I close my eyes, relaxing. “I... used to think that if he hadn't, this land's corrupt leaders would not be able to use my power for their selfish ends. Eventually, I realized that if he hadn't, it would simply be another pawn in my place. It wouldn't right the wrong of the world being led by the unworthy. Thus, I sought to fix it, to rid society of its ills. He didn't agree with that, so we parted ways."_

_"Parted ways?" I echo, raising an eyebrow._

_“Are you doing this on purpose?" He lets out a frustrated huff, but continues anyway. “He used to visit regularly, and we would play chess. Shortly after I took over as Chief of JP’s, we had our disagreement, and I never saw him again till now."_

_Aha, they were once friends. They just never realized. That explains some things._

_“It seems he’s taken quite an interest in you,” he adds — bait._

_“And is that interest shared or is it me you're jealous of?" I don’t bite._

_He turns to meet my flirty gaze with his own. “What do you think?" He straightens, pulling me up with him, hands dropping to my waist. "It's late, Hibiki. You should rest."_

_"You too. Sorry for dragging you out here." I slide off the table, and my lips are by his ear. "I'd sleep easier if you were with me though," I whisper, and it's more truth than flirtation._

_Yamato chuckles, stepping back. "I hope you will make the correct decision now that you understand."_

_Letting go, I laugh as well. "How devious of you."_

_"Aren't you one to talk," he murmurs, leading me to the door. "Good night, Hibiki."_

_"Good night, Yamato."_

_He shuts the door behind me, and I run a hand through my hair as I head back to my room._

_In truth, despite the pros and cons, even if there are other options, no matter what the majority thinks, it might be wisest for me to follow Yamato. He’s dangerous — he’s the only one who wouldn’t hesitate to kill the others, and the only way to guarantee I’ll be there to stop him is to stay by his side._

_But is that reasoning enough for me to help create such a radical world? Would I be solving a small short-term problem only to create a large long-term one?_

_Back in my room, I flop back gracelessly on the bed._

_I know Daichi has the wrong idea, of course. I wouldn’t run from this even if I could. It shouldn’t be thirteen of us making this decision for seven billion people, but we’re the only ones left to make it. This isn’t going to blow over; no one can fix this for us. At least, in the end, it should be a human who chooses the fate of humanity, right? If we don’t get a choice, what would be the point?_

_I'm no closer to a decision than I was six hours ago._


	10. Games For Two

When I finish with Representative Haneda, Yamato is working on a laptop while he waits in the car, and I'm stupidly happy even though there's no way we're pulling up to my house in a government limousine. He's ditched the uniform coat and tie, at least, and even unbuttoned his collar.

“We're stopping a short distance away and walking, right?" I ask as I remove my suit jacket and tie.

He blinks, but says, “Yes. How was your day?"

It's deceptively inane, and I chuckle as I fasten my seatbelt. “Sorry, I missed my cue." Not that he'd appreciate "Honey, I'm home," but a man can hope. At his confused expression, I say, "Never mind. Today was productive. I made some useful observations, gained some new contacts, planted some spies and heard some interesting information."

He raises an eyebrow. "Planted some spies?"

“Angels. People like those around, and they're just doing the usual — making note of people's sins. Only this time, I get a copy of the memo." Ammunition — we’ll need it someday.

Yamato frowns, crossing his arms. "You do realise that if you are caught, we'd be the only suspects?"

I turn to him, serious. "Then I will take full responsibility. We never had this conversation. Do with me what you would any other person caught abusing the app. Angelic activity is within the daily noise levels on our scanners though. An extra two won't even raise a blip."

"Hmph." Yamato shuts the laptop and slips it into a leather case. “Killing you would waste your considerable talents. No, I'd keep you locked up till the Septentriones came."

Leaning in with a grin, I ask, "In your private dungeon?"

It takes a moment, but he catches on with some amusement. "That could be arranged."

On the seat between us, I cover his hand with my own. "I'd never want to leave."

"Precisely."

The limousine pulls up down the road from my apartment, and we disembark. I let us into the building, and we take the elevator to the fourteenth floor.

“If you go alone often enough, they may approach you for certain favours," Yamato says quietly.

“You've refused them before."

"Naturally."

Excellent. "Would you allow me to proceed at my discretion?"

"If it furthered our cause, would it stop you if I expressly forbade it?" He shakes his head with an exasperated huff. “We are alike, you and I, but I won't hesitate to eliminate you if you become a liability."

Of course. "I understand."

I lead him to my unit, and the aroma of nikujaga assails us as we step in. My father is watching the evening news on the couch, and my mother comes to greet us when I announce our arrival as Yamato follows my lead, removing his shoes and lining them up beside mine on the rack.

"Oh, Hibiki dear, I've missed you. It's been so long since we were all home together. C’mere."

 _No more than usual,_ but I only step forward into her arms and return the hug before introducing Yamato.

He bows gracefully. "Good evening, Mrs Kuze. Thank you for inviting me over."

"Oh no, no, it's good to meet you. Hibiki so rarely invites his friends home."

_Because you didn't like any of the ones I did._

"Please, come in and make yourself at home. Dinner will be ready shortly."

She hurries back into the kitchen, and we greet and join my father in the living area. The news is on its international segment — first, an update on the economic crises in the West, then more on ever present tensions in Central Asia. Next, reports that our neighbours are displeased by our premier's less than apologetic stance on the second world war.

“I don't know how long they expect us to keep apologising," Dad gripes suddenly as the news ends.

It's true apologies can't undo their suffering, but it's only natural that they'd be angry if we didn't show remorse.

“For as long as people remember, I expect," Yamato replies in a neutral tone, eyes on the screen.

Is he actually trying? I bite back a grin — it’s too cute. Yamato doesn’t care about sentiment; he cares about results and efficiency — if merely paying lip service would further Japan's interests, he’d pay it in any shape or form.

Before my father can reply, my mother calls from the dining table that dinner is ready, so we each take our usual seats, leaving Yamato the one facing my father. There's nikujaga, yes, and miso soup with tofu and vegetables. There's also potato salad and fried calamari, as well as a yuzu pepper chicken sauté.

“I hope you don't mind," says my mother, "It's just simple home-cooked fare, and I don’t get as much practice in the kitchen as I used to," even though she must have taken at least half the day off to cook.

Now I’m curious what dinner would be if I'd said I was bringing my boss. Or my girlfriend.

"Not at all. I haven't had home-cooked food in ages," Yamato replies smoothly.

I sincerely doubt he's ever had what anyone else would call home-cooked food, not to mention two of these dishes wouldn't be here if he weren’t. This isn’t anything like he’s used to — he’s scrutinizing each dish over the rim of his bowl like he did his first takoyaki as he starts on the soup to stall for time.

He hasn't really questioned anything I’ve offered him though.

"Oh, you made my favourite," I enthuse, helping myself to the stew before passing the dish to him. Our eyes meet, and I long to kiss him till he remembers we belong together, so I turn away. "Thanks, Mom."

Yamato takes the same amount with less gravy before offering the dish to my father who's giving me the evil eye for starting before our guest. I ignore him, reaching for the calamari, but offer it to Yamato first. He smiles and takes a few; I offer the plate to my parents before helping myself as I should have earlier.

When we've had a bit of everything, Yamato suddenly says, "If this is your cooking out of practice, then you must be an award-winning chef at your best, Mrs Kuze," and I almost choke on my piece of chicken.

Sometimes, I forget he spends so much time with those politicians.

"Oh no, you flatter me too much, Yamato. What do you do at the Agency?"

"Hibiki and I are in the same department. We collect and analyse meteorological data." It's a well-practiced lie.

"You must not have been back home in a while then. Where's home for you? Is it far?"

"Not terribly so. I grew up in Kyoto, then moved to Osaka."

"No way! You don't have the accent at all!"

"I… must have lost it after spending so much time with our local colleagues.”

Where would he have picked up any dialects? He’s been training for Cabinet meetings since he uttered his first words. In fact, I'd believe it if they were "summon" and "demon" instead of "mama" and "papa."

I'm relieved when my father takes control of the conversation before my mother can pry further. Current events are familiar ground, and I pretend to concentrate on eating to hide my smothered snickers every time Yamato quotes some Diet member's moderate civilian opinion.

“Ah, it’s rare to find such intelligent and well-informed youths today,” my father sighs as expected, setting his chopsticks down — Yamato is terribly good at “grown up” things. “If only all your friends were like this, Hibiki.” _Instead of like Daichi,_ goes politely unsaid.

I smile thinly, wiping my lips with a serviette. “I’m glad you approve.” In fact, I’m sure if either of us were female, my parents would all but insist I marry this “amazing catch.” I wonder how they’d react if I said I wanted to anyway, not that I’d let them stop me.

“What school did you go to?” asks my mother. “I must recommend it to all my friends.”

Oh no, we’re back to personal questions.

“Actually, I was homeschooled all my life."

Mercifully, "Why?" would be overly and inappropriately personal. Instead, my mother channels curiosity into concern. “Oh, but how did you meet friends then?"

Yamato feigns wistfulness. "I didn't have many."

 _What, are you counting Alcor and Cerberus?_ Well, it's not like he thinks they're important, much less necessary.

She wrings her hands. “Oh, that must have been so lonely!"

He smiles and lowers his eyes. "Yes, Hibiki has been very kind to me."

_Uh..._

The warmth in violet eyes is genuine enough, and I'm happy, of course, but I worry he's giving my parents the right idea at the wrong time. Fortunately, the ensuing awkward silence is the perfect escape route.

“Weren't there some books you wanted to borrow, Yamato?" I stand and stretch. "My collection is in my room. Why don't you come pick them out yourself?"

"Yes." He rises and bows politely. "Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Mrs Kuze."

"Oh, it was my pleasure. I bought some pudding for you, dear," my mother adds as she starts clearing the table. “It's in the fridge."

"Thanks, Mom."

I jog to the kitchen to get pudding and spoons before leading him to my room. It's untouched. Shutting the door with a relieved sigh, I watch him catalog it in his mind. It's smaller than he's used to, colourful and cluttered with personal effects where his is austere. When I open a bitter chocolate pudding, he lets me feed him a spoon, then appropriates the whole cup.

Smirking, he asks, “How were my infiltration skills?"

“I'm positive they'll ask me to marry you," I say, smothering a giggle as I open a caramel pudding for myself.

"That would be problematic." He rests his hips on my desk as his lips close around another spoonful of pudding, and I realize it's completely possible to be jealous of inanimate objects. "It's still illegal here."

"Are you saying you would if it weren’t?" I let him try my caramel one, but he prefers the dark chocolate, of course. “You know Shibuya is just around the corner.”

He turns to browse my book collection. "Don't tell me that's why you're so interested in legislative affairs."

"Aww... Busted." I sit on the bed, grinning. “Well? Did you make any useful observations?"

"These bookshelves are more telling than the last hundred and four minutes." He turns back to me. "So your father is a manager at an engineering company. What does your mother do?"

"She's a veterinary surgeon."

"But you have no pets?"

"We’ve had a few in the past, but it's just as well we didn't get another after the last one died, since we're all so busy, and now I've moved out."

"Did you eat out a lot?"

"No, I used to cook when Mom was too busy, but I don't know what they do now." I open the second chocolate pudding and take a spoon before passing it to him. "Did you really like the food?"

"It was pleasant. Why, are you a better cook?"

"Nah, you're better — you made such good takoyaki."

"So you say." Our fingertips touch as he takes the cup, and he glances down. "I must relearn it sometime."

"Mm." The graceful curve of his collarbone brings back memories, makes my heart race, and I close my eyes. “You did say you'll make it for me again."

"There's plenty of time for that now."

_Wait. What?_

"—music?"

I shake myself. It's probably coincidence. "Sorry, you were saying?"

He frowns. "I asked when you studied music."

"Oh. First to sixth grade, piano."

"Why did you quit?"

"It was expensive. Besides," I incline my head at the three full bookshelves, "I liked to read more than I liked to practice. Do you play any instruments?"

"The ryuuteki and the koto. I was taught from a young age."

I can't help but smile at how apt those are — both of those symbolise dragons. The Hotsuin family is old, wealthy and powerful. It's easy to imagine them passing down increasingly obscure time-honoured arts and traditions in an estate they've lived in since the Heian era.

“I'd love to hear you play someday."

I'm sure he's very good — Yamato wouldn't settle for mediocrity. And it's easy to imagine him wearing a kimono in a Zen garden, slender fingers expertly plucking at koto strings or dancing over flute holes — beautiful.

He smiles as he finishes his pudding. "If you stay in JP's long enough, you might get your chance. Music is the primal common tongue."

Let me guess, "For summoning?"

"Very good." There's something about Yamato's approving smile —perhaps how difficult it is to elicit— that makes people want to preen. "Before the summoning app, and sometimes even now, we used rituals to summon and seal demons. In some of those, we use music."

"Speaking of music, there's a duo that's gaining popularity these days — a pianist and a dancer. I heard today that they're having a concert at Zepp Hall in Nagoya soon."

To be exact, I overheard someone trying to pull some strings with a certain minister about a music scholarship his son applied for because "you know, that AiHina idol pair? The pianist applied too, and she's good and famous." I looked up the rest — turns out Hinako and Airi met again at a talent show. The video of their performance went viral, so they started touring Japan together with some extra support from the Kujou Dance Academy, and their fanbase is steadily growing.

“Would you like to come with me?" I take the empty cups and toss them into the waste paper basket.

“Future friends of yours?"

I chuckle. "Nothing escapes you, does it? But her dancing can summon Shiva, so they're actually very good."

"Interesting." It's clearly the mention of Shiva that intrigues him. "Very well. Let me know the date."

"Yes!" I throw my hands up in the air in triumph. “A third date! I was starting to worry tonight would put you off the prospect forever." Honestly, I keep worrying he'll decide this is all a waste of his time.

"How silly." He lets out an exasperated laugh, shaking his head. "Who do you think you're talking to?" He crosses his arms. "I see you also learned Spanish."

Giggling, I loop my arms around his neck. "Si, un poco, mi amor. You know, it's not fair. You know so much about me now, and I still barely know anything about you."

He looks back at the bookshelves. "You know everything that matters."

"You know as well as I do that isn't true."

Meeting my gaze, he asks, "If it were important, don't you think I would have told you?"

Actually, no, but I only give him my goofiest smile. “Well, I'm in love. You're endlessly interesting."

He rolls his eyes —the first I've seen— and straightens. "It's getting late. We should go."

"Yes, sir." I grab two books off the shelf —Kitamura and Beautiful World— and hand them to him. "Your cover."

We exit to find both my parents in the living room — my father working on his laptop while my mother reads work-related articles. They look up, and I feign chagrin.

"We need to be getting back. Long day tomorrow."

"Thank you again for having me over for dinner," Yamato says with another graceful bow.

They stand and bow slightly, all polite smiles as they walk us to the door.

“It was no trouble at all," says my mother. “You're most welcome to come again."

"Please look out for our Hibiki out there," my father adds.

Yamato chuckles. “On the contrary, Hibiki should be looking out for me. We're all quite sure he's the Chief's favourite."

I turn to him, catch the twinkle in violet eyes. "Oh, is that what they're saying? You're sure that's not just up in your mind?" I tease as we put on our shoes.

"Let's just say I have it on good authority."

After saying our goodbyes, we head out, walking back to where we were dropped off earlier, and I wait till we’re back in the limousine to lean into his side and look up imploringly.

“Am I really the Chief’s favourite?”

“Are you deliberately being obtuse?”

"All right then, serious question — was it a lie when you said it was lonely?"

"What do you hope to achieve with these 'dates'?"

Shaking my head, I sigh, “I promised I'd show you a normal life. I know you don’t remember. Maybe it seems pointless to you now. But I intend to keep every promise I ever made you."

Yamato falls silent then, and we don’t talk even till we’re walking back to our rooms. We reach mine first, and I hold out Beautiful World.

“Hang on to this, won't you?"

"You know I—"

"—have no free time, yes, I know." _You can't leave, yes, I know — I'll change that, I swear._ "It's just photographs though. Just pretend it's your new calendar, maybe look at one picture every night."

He accepts it. "Very well."

"Good night, Yamato."

I turn to enter, but he catches my arm and leans in, and it's as if everything —time, my mind, my heart— held its breath.

Did—? Was that—? But by the time I parse it, he's already gone.

Did he just... _kiss me?_

I lean back against the door, tracing the imprint of his lips on my cheek. What...?

“I have high expectations of you, Hibiki," his voice echoes now that my brain has caught up. "Don't disappoint me. Good night."

Heh. My hand drops to grab my key card and unlock the door. I don't know what I was thinking.

_Good Heavens, Yamato, you're the worst._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you are still enjoying the story, and I love hearing your thoughts. ♥
> 
> Side note: I will be going for a (peaceful) rally tomorrow. The government has declared it illegal. But the government doesn't believe in universal human rights, you see, so it's to be expected. In any case, if you don't hear from me again, I am probably either dead or in prison without the right to a trial or any other recourse. Oops.


	11. Lacrimoso Con Amore

The days fly by as I divide my time between JP's and the Diet. Some personnel from other branches joined their colleagues in helping out with the flood relief efforts, and many did more than their required three days. The photographic proof I required they submit has started circulating on the Internet as they posted the pictures to their various personal social networks, and the entire exercise has inadvertently become its own PR stunt.

Better yet, Doctors Hiiragi, Hiraga and Tominaga have joined us along with Nurses Uehara and Yoshino, so Otome is going home at five today for the first time in years. Makoto feels my recruitment method wasn't very ethical whereas Yamato considers it overly risky, but Fumi helpfully points out that we successfully hired five targets without incident, and the matter is dropped.

As Yamato brings me to more Committee meetings, I continue to take notes, both of my own observations and the angels' reports. Eventually, as planned, Yamato is forced to miss a few of these meetings to handle supernatural "emergencies," giving me full proxy rights, and his vote of confidence appears to be all the reminder they need that all JP’s personnel are demon tamers.

True to his word, there are plenty of politicians seeking supernatural aid, and I feign obtuseness to play into their perception of a harmless child. I've also made a show of being terrified of the Chief ever finding out that I can be pressured into exchanging some favours for the right votes or bills. I refuse to harm anyone, and I'm not savvy enough to ask for these things, of course, but discussing the correct topics in the correct places drops enough hints that they know to offer them when I’m being especially reluctant.

In the meantime, I've bought tickets to the AiHina☆☆ concert, and I text Yamato a reminder — it's tonight at seven. He merely replies to meet him at the Nagoya branch at seventeen thirty hours.

The nights are getting cooler, so I change into a white sweater over navy corduroys and grab my blue bunny muffler before taking the train there. It's exactly half past five when I knock on his office door, and he opens it in a fitting white dress shirt with grey slacks. It's probably too formal for an idol group concert, but I can’t bring myself to care.

One day, I will see him sans the coat without wanting to ravish him, but today is not that day.

He steps aside to let me in, and now that he's made it fair game, I lean up to peck him on the cheek, murmuring, “You look good," into his ear. There's a matching grey argyle scarf on the desk, and I wrap it around his neck. “Will you be cold later though?"

He gives me his patented "What do you take me for?" Look, and I follow him as he heads out.

Naturally, we skip the car, and I lead him to the nearest subway station. Eel is popular enough that I’m sure he’s had it at some fancy dinner, so three stops later, we grab a quick bite at one of the station’s kishimen stands. I order one in the traditional broth and one with red miso dipping sauce for him to try, and we stand at the bar to eat alongside some salarymen on their way home. I’m pleasantly surprised to catch him listening to their work gossip — suddenly, I think, the behaviour of our personnel, especially the newer staff, makes sense to him.

Before walking to Zepp Hall, we drop by Takashimaya to grab some uiro for dessert, and Yamato shakes his head at me, but tries a bite each anyway. He likes a few types, not the same ones I do, so it works out perfectly. It's a quarter to seven by the time we find our seats, and we have a good view of the stage.

"I love eating with you,” I tell him, leaning close.

He smirks, letting me cling to his arm. "Because there's no competition?"

"Mmhm." I smile contentedly up at him. “For my favourites or your attention."

"I've been hearing rumours of your exploits in government," he murmurs so only I can hear.

"Which kind?"

He side-eyes me. “You can tell me in our private dungeon.”

I can’t tell if it’s more humour or sarcasm, but I have to swallow to moisten my suddenly dry throat. “If that’s a pickup line, I must say it’s working.”

“The general sentiment appears to be that I should let you go alone as my proxy more often.” Carefully, _dangerously,_ neutral.

“Hmph. They think I’m easier to use.” I shift closer, settling into his side. “Maybe you should go alone again — make things harder for them, loathe though I am to subject you to their condescension.” He must see for himself that I have nothing to hide.

“Yet you allow them to patronize you.”

It’s crowded now —the show is about to start— and I turn to whisper into his ear. “I’m sowing the seeds of our ideals, Yamato. If I have to play into their misconceptions to do so, then I will.” I find his hand with my own and clasp it. “One day, we won’t have to pretend. One day, we will openly lead this fallen nation to new heights together.” I lace our fingers. “As you wished, and as I promised.”

The music starts then, so we fall silent, focusing on the performance. Yamato squeezes my hand, and I wonder if that means his doubts have been assuaged for now.

Backlighting illuminates Hinako in a pose and Airi at the piano through billowing black cloth. Hinako starts dancing in time with the music, and they switch to spotlights as the cloth is pulled away. It’s an upbeat opening number filled with almost acrobatic moves, and they are joined by a new idol called Nozomi who dances along with some of Hinako’s easier steps between singing.

After introductions and a chat with Nozomi, they welcome Ken, a guest guitarist, and Nozomi leaves Ken to play an exotic tune while Hinako belly dances. Next comes a partnered Latin dance with a guest from Brazil, followed by a slow balletic one, featuring sweeping graceful movements with a sash to a moving ballad, and I dip my thumb under his glove to caress the inside of his wrist in time with the piano chords. He allows it, lets me rest my head on his shoulder, and we remain that way until intermission.

“You’re right,” he says as I stand and stretch. “The dancer is excellent.”

“Airi is good, but it’s true Hinako steals the show. I also think Kiria is the best singer we’ve seen so far.”

I jump a bit when he suddenly wraps an arm around my waist — it’s like electric sparks over my nerves.

_Oh wow, I’m a goner._

I manage to shake my head when he asks if something’s the matter and let him lead me out to the shop to get something to drink.

“Do you attend performances like these often?” he asks as we buy fruit sodas.

“Occasionally, when an artist I like is in town.” We move to an empty spot and lean against the wall to sip at our drinks. “I also sometimes go for a few orchestral concerts, as well as some classical Japanese music performances on traditional instruments. If you like, we can attend one of those next time.”

“Prominent musicians entertain the guests at some dinner parties, but I’ve never been to any of the public performances.” He frowns, pensive. “I presume their regular sessions are conducted in halls with customized acoustics for the best sound quality. It’d be interesting to see if there are any differences when watching them in their proper setting.”

I manage not to choke on my soda as I chuckle. “For a moment there, you sounded like Fumi. ‘I want to observe the specimen in its natural habitat,’ she’d say.”

“That’s only natural. Is there no difference?”

“The acoustics are important, yes, but there's nothing wrong with going just because you enjoy it, you know."

He only smiles and inclines his head towards the restroom. “Excuse me."

I finish my soda and dispose of the can before following him. He notices immediately and glances back in question.

“I’m not going to jump you in the gents if that’s what you’re wondering.” Not that I wouldn’t like to, but I do genuinely need to use the bathroom before the concert resumes. “Unless that’s what you want, in which case I’d be _very_ happy to oblige.”

Yamato sighs, holding the door open for me. “Is that always on your mind?”

“Whenever I’m with you, and we’re not working, yes,” I answer honestly. “I think about the time we’ve spent together and all the things I love about you. I think about how you’ve changed and how much I miss the closeness we once shared. What do you think about all the time?”

“The future and how best to protect it,” he says flatly like it should be obvious, and it is — painfully so.

He’s serious, of course — his work is all he knows, ingrained into him from birth like one would program a robot. Responsibilities and results are all that matters; attachments and diversions are hindrances.

“I’ve always loved and admired that about you,” I tell him sincerely as we walk back to our seats, this time with my arm around his waist. “It’s a noble focus, and it comes so naturally to you.”

“Yet you keep finding ways to distract me from it,” he counters, violet eyes twinkling.

As trite as it sounds, “That’s because I’m always searching for ways to bring you the happiness you so richly deserve. Making you happy is very important to me.”

“You’re being maudlin again. Stop.”

“Compensating for not being able to jump you in the gents.”

He laughs —his growing sense of humour is a pleasure to see— and lets me keep my arm around his shoulders as the lights dim and Airi returns with a beautiful piano solo, the finale of Schumann’s Fantasie.

Towards the end, Hinako joins her on stage, and the lights come on to reveal a group of dancers behind her with a koto player in the back as they kick off the second half with a Chinese fan dance. They switch to parasols, and when they exit, Hinako is gone. Airi and the koto player start a new song, and Hinako enters in a kimono as the latter begins to sing an old folk song. This is her specialty, her family’s style of Nihon Buyou, and the usually bold and lively Hinako I know seems completely transformed — her graceful, delicate movements are so elegant. Yamato seems particularly absorbed in this performance — perhaps it is the one he understands best.

To think Hinako once doubted her passion for dance and its value. Anything that can get the workaholic next to me this engrossed must be truly inspiring to an appreciative audience. She’s incredibly talented. I’m truly impressed by how many types of dance she has studied, and while she still performs some in their pure form, most of her repertoire is in her personal style — she has combined everything she has learned into a true contemporary art form.

The concert ends with all the guests returning onstage for a group performance, a cover of a spirited pop song, and as we stand to leave, I notice a familiar head of reddish curls exiting through a different door.

 _Crap. Careless, careless, careless._ I hope Yamato doesn't see or recognize him.

I turn to distract him only to find him staring straight at Dera-Deka.

 _Oh no. Oh crap._ My heart sinks.

He’s already walking briskly after the detective, and I hurry after him. He stops right outside — a good look is all he needed.

"Yamato? Where are you going? What's wrong?"

His deep frown fades into the usual smile. “Oh, nothing much. I just saw a rat I thought long dead." He reaches for his phone, and I grab his hand to stop him without thinking.

 _No. Nonononono._ "What are you doing?" I hiss, dropping to a horrified whisper.

"Finishing the job," obviously.

"Here?!" I pull him aside into a less busy corner.

Again, that Look. "No. Later, of course."

“Is that even necessary?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“If he hasn’t already gone public after all this time, there’s no reason to believe he will do so in the future.”

Violet eyes widen with interest. “So you know who he is. Hahaha… You’re too soft, Hibiki.”

“No.” _Reason. I have to reason with him._ “The problem is you’re trading a valuable ally for a needless kill.”

“Him?” Haughty, incredulous. “D—”

“Of course not. His daughter. What do you think he was doing here? Airi, the pianist, is his daughter.”

“Ah, your future friend.”

“No, that’s not the point.” _Reason, not sentiment._ I tighten my grip on his wrist. “Listen,” I tell him earnestly, “she applied for a scholarship recently in order to further her studies in music regardless of whether she makes it as an idol. She will soon learn, however, that she lost it to nepotism, so she’ll be inclined to support our ideals if the time comes. But if we kill her father, she’ll never join us.”

“Hmph. As far as she knows, he’s already dead.”

“And if she finds out?” I shake my head. “She fought _six_ Septentriones with us, Yamato, and was instrumental in defeating at least two. Talented personnel are hard to find; you know that.”

Yamato considers this, holding my gaze, and I don’t let go.

At length, he muses, “One risk for another… Very well. You know what is at stake, I presume?”

For a moment, I wonder what he is referring to, exactly.

“If you are certain you can accept this risk and its consequences, then I’ll allow it.” He relaxes.

That was easy. _Too_ easy.

Glancing down, he asks, “Are you planning to hold my hand all the way back?”

I shift my hold to lace our fingers with an adoring smile. “May I?”

He sighs, but just starts walking. We stop for supper on the way, and the chicken wings are amazing, but even his amicability does nothing for the growing unease in my heart. I’m glad that he enjoyed tonight, that we’re talking about the koto and piano instead of work, but I can’t help feeling this will cost me somehow.

The night breeze chills me to the bone when we step outside the izakaya, and I walk closer to Yamato to share warmth. When he pulls me out of a particularly strong gust into his arms, shivering as I return the embrace, I don’t even tease him about underdressing. Taking shelter inside the entryway of a deserted office building at night feels like something we might have done that week if we hadn’t been in JP’s, and I bury my face in his scarf, savour his scent, hold him to me like he’ll disappear if I let go.

“Hibiki?”

 _Yamato, please..._ “I love you,” and it hurts in so many ways — I don’t know how to fix this.

“I know,” he says gently, and I shake my head.

“You’ve heard me say it many times before, but you don’t _know_ it, not yet.”

He steps back, cups my cheek to lift my chin. “No,” he agrees, “but when I’m with you, I want to.”

I cover his hand with my own, press it to my cheek, choking up. This is the most honest he’s been so far, but sometimes, I’m afraid to hope.

The cold wind has passed, so he leads me back to the Nagoya branch Terminal in silence — we’ll both be in Osaka tomorrow. In the residential wing, we stop in front of the room I use whenever I'm here.

"One last thing, Hibiki — sometime within the month, you will be joining me in Shimane. Every eight years around this time, the stars align for a particular problem. I will share the details of the operation when the date is confirmed."

“Of course.” I turn to him with a smile. “I was afraid you’d tell me _not_ to come with you.”

“Hahaha… There will be two fronts, and you’re my most talented commander. I wouldn’t choose to bring anyone else.”

“I’m glad. Would you be willing to spend a day there with me after the operation? I heard Matsue has a beautiful coastline and spectacular lake views.”

“Heh, if I answer ‘if I have no pressing work to do,’ you’ll simply make sure that is indeed the case, so we shall see how adept you truly are, Hibiki.”

I laugh, finally letting go of his hand. “Leave it to me.”

“Hah, truly a man of talent. I’m pleased you are reliable. Rest well, Hibiki. Good night.”

“Good night.”

He turns to go, and I shut my room door behind me, slumping to the floor against the wall just inside and burying my face in my knees as his footsteps fade down the corridor.

 _Alcor. Alcor, please, I know you can hear me,_ I think desperately. I can only trust him — there’s no one else who can help me. _If there are no surveillance devices in here, please, I need your help._ I can’t let Airi’s father die this time.

“You do not trust Hotsuin Yamato.”

I turn sharply at the familiar voice right beside me. He’s seated, yet levitating an inch off the floor, expression unreadable and dressed in the usual red and black frills.

I shake my head. “That’s not it. I know him too well. He doesn’t trust me.” I grip him by the elbows, and he mirrors the action with less force. “Please. You can’t let him kill Airi’s father. Every one of us is struggling to change our fate, and he is no exception. Please help us.”

Grey eyes drop to our hands. “Every one of us must take responsibility for our actions, Shining One, and yet…” Through thick white lashes, he looks up at me, pensive, as he fades. “Allow me to think on it.”

Falling on my knees, I slam my arms into the wall in frustration, and externalizing the pain brings bitter clarity.

It wasn’t Dera-Deka’s carelessness — ordinarily, Yamato would never have been there.

This is _my_ fault.

 _I_ did this.

And I can’t stop him.

_Damn it._

I curl up on the floor and begin to cry.


	12. Illusions & Doubt

_Yamato all but carries me along to his room, and I let him back me into his bed as I kiss him, working on the fastenings of his clothes. The bed is luxurious, soft and covered in dark silks, and I pull him down with me as he catches on, shrugging out of our shirts._

_Our hips meet, and I moan, arching up into the contact. I cling to him, keep him atop me to let him have that sense of control. I doubt he's ever done this before, but he learns quickly, holding me down as he plunders my mouth and rocks his hips into mine._

_It feels like we’ve wanted each other forever._

_I slide my hands down his back to push his pants off his hips, cupping the curve of his arse tightly, and he gasps when my fingers stray between his thighs. His eyes flick up to mine, tense and uncertain, so I move away._

_As I thought — too new._

_Gently, I roll us over, let him resist, but he doesn't. He trusts me, I realize, allowing all these unfamiliar things, and it means so much._

_"I love you," I tell him in sudden decision. I know it's only been a week, maybe I only love the side of him that I've seen, but I also know this feeling is sincere._

_"Ha... Now I really want to see the world you will create," he murmurs, smiling warmly. "I admire the strength of your ideals."_

_Oh, he doesn't even question it._

_Grinning, I card my fingers through his hair. "Well, if I were the type to be swayed by sentiment, you wouldn't give me the time of day."_

_He laughs, a hint of wistfulness. "Yet if you were, tomorrow we would rule my ideal world together."_

_I touch my forehead to his, press a chaste kiss to his lips. "Stay with me, Yamato, no matter what happens. I'll show you, I promise."_

_"Yes," he whispers, molding his lips to mine again. "I want to believe in you."_

_When we part for air, I mouth my way down his neck to kiss away the bruises from our earlier battle. His skin is smooth on my lips, a little dry. I stroke a path to his knee before tracing circles back up his inner thigh, and Yamato welcomes me, whimpering with pleasure._

_I'm glad._

_He’s never learned the first thing about this, but he’s also never learned any inhibitions, and I’m glad the honour is all mine. In truth, I wish I knew more about this than I do. I should learn — I'm sure there are resources I could find._

_But for now, I explore his well-toned body with my lips, tongue and fingers, making note of his reactions. He writhes beneath me, breathing ragged as I bring him closer to the edge, and for every erogenous spot I find, it excites him much more when I use my mouth._

_He whines my name, pulling me up for a kiss, and I roll us onto our sides, dragging my fingertips up his inner thigh to tug his sacs lightly, and he catches my hand with a bit of a wince — too sensitive, I'm guessing._

_"Sorry," I mumble, shifting so I can stroke us both, and his answer is lost in a shared groan as he thrusts into my hand._

_Pulling his gloves off with his teeth, he drops them between our pillows, and help me, but it's absurdly sexy. Then his hand is next to mine, matching my rhythm, and I'm lost, gasping his name, twining our legs, and—_

_Wow, I— I'm blinking away multicoloured lights as the intense pleasure ebbs into relaxed contentment, and Yamato looks breathless, beautiful, blissed._

_I want to keep this smile on his face forever._

_"I love you," I tell him again because I feel stupidly, ridiculously, sappily lovestruck, and this is probably how seduction ruined many a great leader — I could promise him anything._

_Yamato pulls the covers over us both. "I... don't know if this feeling is what you call love," he admits softly, snuggling close, "but I— You're mine, Hibiki. I won't let anyone take you away from me."_

_I laugh — I'm so happy. I can't even bring myself to care how unhealthily possessive he is._

_"Oh, it's close, I think. It's close enough for me."_

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I keep scouring the news for any sign of Dera-Deka, but nothing brings me no comfort. Maybe Yamato didn't do it, maybe he was incredibly discreet, maybe it's not news that a dead man was found dead, maybe Alcor chose to save him — I don't know.

I can only believe.

In the meantime, I bury myself in work. The recent lowering of the voting age has opened the door to reducing the minimum age for Councillors and Representatives, and the Houses are understandably divided. Due to our country’s demographics, being inclusive of the nation’s youth has limited real effect. However, I need them to pass it, so that Yamato and I can openly make our bid for power sooner. For that, I feed their belief that we are a harmless, easily influenced and apathetic minority by vocally being at once pleased they think we’re important, yet pessimistic about higher youth involvement.

I'm in Aoba defending a seal when my cellphone rings, and I'm surprised to see it's Io. We talk a lot in the chat group with Daichi, but I don't remember the last time she called. I have ten minutes before the operation starts, so I take it — it's probably important.

"Hello?" I step away from the JP's staff around me.

"H—hi, Hibiki. It's Io... but you knew that." She chuckles, clearly nervous, and now I'm really curious.

"Yeah, it's been a while. How are you?"

"Oh... I'm all right, still getting used to university life. Um... What about you? Are you busy?"

"I've got a moment. What's up?"

"Oh, um... Well, it's about Daichi."

Oh. I think I know what's coming, but I still ask, "Why? Is he okay?"

"What? Oh, no, no, no, he's fine! I'm th— I mean—" She stops, takes a deep breath. "He uh... confessed to me earlier."

Bingo. And considering she hasn't elaborated yet, she's probably waiting to gauge my reaction, either because Daichi is my best friend or because she hasn't given up. Just in case, I should probably hint at my answer before it gets awkward. Once in a while, I'm actually grateful that Io isn't very forthright.

"Ah..." I let out a chuckle. "I was starting to think he'd never get around to it. Guess I won't be the only one with a relationship update to share, after all."

"Relationship update? Oh, are you seeing someone?" It's a good effort, but I still catch the note of disappointment, and I'm glad that's out of the way.

"Yes. Recent development, actually." I make a point of sounding bashful. "Thought I'd surprise you guys at our next meeting."

"I—I see... Um, I— I don't think I'm ready for a relationship just yet."

That wasn't what it looked like during our week together, but I suppose priorities change when the world is ending.

The thought throws me, grips me with cold doubts — what if that's how it was with Yamato too?

I know he wanted to possess me — as an ally, a right hand, an equal even; I earned his trust by proving my talents. Looking back, he had plenty of reason to want me with rather than against him — what if I've been mistaking his attempts to sway my decision as attraction this whole time? He said he doesn't know what love feels like, so in truth, neither of us knows if any real affection was ever there. A final novel indulgence when he had nothing left to lose, was that all it was? Worse, what if he'd simply gone along with whatever I wanted after his defeat? He did say he'd bow to my wishes.

"—hoping you could advise me. I mean, I know he's your best friend and all, but..." Lost in my thoughts, I've missed most of what Io said. "I just don't want us to not be friends anymore."

"Oh," I sigh — I vaguely remember something about stress and university, and an awful part of me wonders if she'd say the same had I been the one to ask her out instead of Daichi. "Well, it might turn out better than you're imagining. Daichi is struggling with university too, after all, probably more so than you, and he's a lot more reliable than he looks. I've always been able to count on him when I needed support."

"Y—yes, I see..."

"Still, you can't force these things, so whatever you decide, just be honest but gentle. He _has_ liked you for some time, after all. Don't give him any false hopes?" It'd be worse if Daichi held on to the illusion of having a chance someday.

"Yes, o—of course. I told him I needed some time to think about it, so I—I'll think about it some more."

A JP's agent comes over to tell me we're at three minutes to the start of the operation, so I tell Io with appropriate chagrin that I have to go. She seems sad as we say our goodbyes, but it's not like I can help it.

The operation is an easy battle, thankfully, but decon and debriefing takes forever, and I'm exhausted by the time I return to my room. A part of me longs to see Yamato, but I know it won't help. If anything, being with him as we are now will only introduce more doubts.

When I check my phone, there's a missed call and a message from Daichi: "Hey, dude, guess what? Io said she'd give us a try! Call me back when you get the chance, man! I'm so excited; I don't know what to do!"

Well, that's unexpected.

I can't help wondering if she changed her mind because of what I said about Daichi or because her hopes have been dashed, and it feels like a horrid thought to have.

So I call him and let him spend the first few minutes just gushing about how he'd been preparing himself for rejection all day, but then she said yes, and now he's bouncing off the walls with excitement because she's so awesome, and they don't make 'em like her anymore.

"That's great! I'm happy for you." Daichi is a true friend, and he deserves every happiness. I really hope it works out for the best.

"Thanks! I just had to tell you! I mean— Wow. Io and I. Just... Wow." He giggles, sheepishly excited. "Hoo! Okay. Okay, I think I've calmed down a bit." He takes a deep breath. "So... yeah. What's up, man? We haven't talked like this in a while, yeah?"

"Yeah. Actually, I uh... started seeing someone too. I was going to surprise you at our next meeting, but," I shrug, chuckling, "now that we're on the topic..."

"Ooh... One of your new colleagues? Who's the lucky girl? What's she like?"

"Yeah, about that... It's... not a girl."

"Oh. Uh... Wait, seriously?! As in—? W—whoa, dude! Like, as in," he drops his voice, probably so his parents can't overhear, "you're dating another guy?"

"No, I'm dating a snowman that melts a bit every time we touch," I deadpan, and wow, that's... even kinda true.

"Very funny, Hibiki," Daichi huffs. "But wow, really? Huh, pretty shocking, man. No, I mean, it's totally cool, you know? It's just... Well, I'm your best friend, and even I didn't see that one coming."

"Yeah," to be honest, "me neither." I can't say I expected to fall for Yamato. I don't even know how or when it happened.

"Then again, considering you didn't even spare Io a second glance..."

"Hey. C'mon, you know she's not my type, right?"

"Oh yeah, you were into Miss Ohara back in junior high, weren't you? Gotta admit she was smokin' hot though — could've been a model, honestly."

"Haha, yeah." I don't think I've seen a teacher as attractive before or since.

"So... What's the guy like? I mean, this is you we're talking about, so he must be pretty awesome."

"Yeah, he is. He's smart, driven and noble. But he tends to be quite harsh in his views, so most people only see him as cold and frightening." I huff a laugh. "But I'd say that, right? Just like you think Io's perfect."

"Nah, I'm sure he's at least as great as you are. Will we get to meet him next time? Ooh, I know! Let's do a double date! The four of us can go to the movies together or something!"

"Haha, sure. I'll ask if he's up for it. No promises though — he's a workaholic who doesn't socialize."

"Ugh, c'mon! Are we bros or no? You gotta tell him the best friend stamp of approval is a thing, Hibiki."

"Okay, okay, I'll try." I'm sure Yamato will care. In another life, perhaps.

“All right, man. It's late, so I'd better let you go. I've got class, and you've got work in the morning, right? I need to work harder now — can't show Io my pathetic side, you know?" He laughs sheepishly. "We'll fix a date sometime?"

"Yeah. You can do it, Daichi!"

"Haha, thanks, man. It really feels possible when you say it. Hell, I don't think I'll even be able to sleep tonight, but... Take care and good night, okay?"

"Yeah, you too."

We hang up, and I stare blankly at the ceiling. I should shower and sleep, but... somewhere between exhaustion and insecurity, I've lost all motivation to move.

The truth is, in hindsight, I've never known for sure how Yamato felt. It could have been a function of the situation or limited choices; it could have been an exercise in emotional manipulation; it could even have been pure curiosity — I wouldn't put any of it past Yamato. If someone else with spiritual power who understands his way of thinking shows up, would he still choose me? Come to think of it, considering his family background, he's probably expected to marry and produce heirs, in which case I'm only in the way — I'm not naïve enough to think Yamato would choose me over his responsibility to the country as the head of the Hotsuin clan regardless of his feelings.

None of this mattered when the world was ending.

Worse, what if I'm chasing an illusion? What if he remembers, and we don't reach the same conclusion? That night, he said he wanted to, but how much stock can I place in the feelings he has now? Would any of it matter in the end?

Heh. Here I am trying to change the world while doubting I can change even Yamato's mind.

Sitting up, I run my hands through my hair. I need to focus — I don't have time for this.

Yamato has already given me the opportunities I need. Everything will be for naught if we fail to change the world. I have to work towards that goal, regardless of our relationship. He's the one who taught me that sacrifices must sometimes be made to achieve one's objectives — surely he'll understand, no matter his stance and feelings.

I can only believe.


	13. Like The First Rose Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, longest chapter yet. I hope you're still enjoying the story. Thank you again for your support. I love hearing your thoughts! ♥

Today, we have a joint meeting for the Boards of Oversight and Review of Specially Designated Secrets, so Yamato has to come personally. Naturally, security protocols are tighter than usual, but Yamato's withering look when the guards suggest I shouldn't be allowed in with him is all the clearance I need. The chairmen from both houses welcome the Ministers of Defense, Security and Foreign Affairs, and it quickly becomes apparent that we have all been gathered here today to confer on the rearming of Japan.

Somehow, despite the pacifism written into our constitution following the end of World War Two, they’ve managed to push new legislation through to allow us to raise a standing army again. It's true we've had the Self-Defense Forces for a long time now, and the Ministry of Defense has been finding creative ways to sneak more offensive capabilities in through the loopholes for almost as long, but the SDF has always been more of a peacekeeping and disaster relief corps, and polls indicate most of our people believe that's how they should stay. I'm only slightly relieved to hear a nuclear programme remains off the table for us — no one has forgotten what nuclear warheads can do, and there would be mass public outrage if we tried, not that the demonstrations thus far have deterred any recent proceedings.

I still don't like where this is going — there can be only one reason we're here.

"Hotsuin, you will be contributing your own division to our forces, I presume?" asks the Minister of Defense suddenly, and there it is. That's why we're here.

"Naturally," Yamato replies without missing a beat. "Protecting this great nation has always been my clan's raison d'être."

"You bring your forebears great honour, Hotsuin."

The Minister smiles approvingly before moving on, and I keep my head down, pretending to concentrate on my note-taking. This is terrible, a disaster in the making. The man is a warmonger — he's from a long line of war heroes going back to ancient times, and he's been using the global geopolitical climate to scare the Diet into building up our military capabilities because he clearly thinks there is glory to be gained in war. It's almost to be expected that he wants to bring demons onto the battlefield, but I can't believe Yamato, of all people, is sitting here agreeing with him.

I wait till we're back in the elevator down to the Tokyo branch to turn to Yamato. "You can't seriously be on board with this."

He raises a silver eyebrow. "We have official sanction to raise a military force of our own. This works to our advantage."

"To use demons on people, civilians? Isn't this what you've been working to prevent this whole time?"

"Soldiers in war are hardly civilians, Hibiki," he says as we enter the branch's main foyer, and it's too public to discuss state secrets, so I follow him to his office and lock the door behind us before continuing.

"That's not the point at all."

"Didn't you want to change the world?" He sits at his desk, violet eyes alight. "This is the perfect opportunity."

I gape at him. This is worse than Polaris. Much, _much_ worse. "Not by force and most certainly not through war." I shake my head in disbelief. "I cannot condone this."

"Ha, such brazen insubordination... Have I been too lenient? Well, no matter." He turns to his work with a wistful smile. "I won't force you to help enact a policy you can't stomach, but I won't forgive any interference, not even from you."

 _What? No. No, no, no._ This is all wrong. I need to try a different tack. I sit down.

"It's not like that. Look, I want to protect this country _and_ realize our ideals just as much as you do, but when has war ever bred anything but more war?"

He looks back up at me, gentler this time. "You're too soft, Hibiki, though it's to be expected, since you were raised a civilian. Several lifetimes will not suffice to sway mass opinion. If we do not act decisively now, then changing the world by our own power is nothing but a pipe dream."

 _Wh—? Oh no, what have I done?!_ I squeeze my eyes shut, take a deep calming breath. "Yamato, please. If we go down this path, there won't be anyone left in our ideal world."

"Hmph." He starts typing on his computer. "Those who fall in the process lack either the strength to survive or the wisdom to side with us. They wouldn't last in our meritocracy anyway. Inconsequential."

 _What? I thought we talked about this._ "Didn't you say that there's a place for every kind of talent in our merit-driven world?"

"I did, and that hasn't changed, but you know as well as I do that sacrifices must sometimes be made to achieve an objective." He leans back to scrutinize me, arms crossed. "What's gotten into you, Hibiki? Didn't you say that if it will achieve our ends, it is worth everything?"

 _Oh. Oh no. Oh, heavens, no._ He's just been twisting everything I've said. "I— Yes, but war will only invite retaliation and destruction. History has clearly shown us that. Is this what so many generations of your family gave their lives for?"

Crap — I really shouldn't have said that.

"Don't bring up my family like you know _anything_ about that."

I flinch. I’d apologize, but the damage is done — he won’t listen to anything now.

"Take the rest of the day off, Hibiki, and think rationally about this.” He resumes his work. “It's clear you need some time to come back to your senses. I trust that you will reach the right conclusion. Dismissed."

I head back to my room, mind racing. I can't let this happen, but I know better than to think I can change Yamato's mind anytime soon. In truth, there is, as he says, strategic value in this — with an army, we can threaten a coup if necessary. However, at this rate, we will be at war long before that.

It's not Yamato I don't trust.

The thought brings sudden clarity — it's earlier than I planned, but I quickly gather all the dirt I've collected on a certain minister and his associates.

Crap.

I can't personally go public — it's too dangerous and will only jeopardize our plans. I run my hands through my hair, pacing. There must be some way to stop this tyr—

Wait.

If it's justice I need served, I already know the perfect person to talk to. I download everything I have onto a flash drive and quickly change out of uniform.

I need to go to Nagoya.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I’m halfway to Nagoya via Shinkansen when I realize that I have no way of contacting Ronaldo. He’s always been the one to find me. Still, I often seem to run into him around Fushimi, so perhaps he works in the vicinity. As it turns out, the headquarters of the Aichi Prefectural Police is nearby — a good bet if I'm looking for a detective. So I switch trains and disembark at the nearest station before heading in to ask for Detective Kuriki. I'm relieved when the receptionist picks up the phone — even if it's the wrong guy, maybe someone can tell me where to find Ronaldo. I give her my name when she asks and resist the urge to fist pump when she says he'll see me.

Another police officer comes to escort me to his office upstairs, and the onlookers make me nervous. If the yakuza can buy off top police officials, I wouldn't count on being safe from politicians. She knocks on the door and announces me, leaving with a polite bow when I open it as invited to find Ronaldo tidying his desk in what I'm guessing is his favourite purple jacket — I've never seen him without it.

"This is most unexpected," Ronaldo opens as I lock the door behind me. "I know I said we'd meet again, Kuze Hibiki, but for you to seek me out at work of all things..."

Smiling wistfully, I reply, "Well, you’d be the first to say that justice can't wait."

"Oh?" Eyebrow raised, he indicates I should sit. "Have you finally tired of Hotsuin's corrupt ways?"

I laugh as I take the chair across from him, fingering the flash drive in my pocket. "I _am_ here about corrupt ways, but I hope you're not overly disappointed they're not Yamato's."

The flash of interest in his eyes is promising. "...go on."

Glancing around, I ask, "Is it safe here? No offense, but you're about the only person here I'd trust given the news some time back." 

Now he's really intrigued — foresight may not be his strongest suit, but Ronaldo is, after all, a detective.

"Heh." He folds his hands on the desk. "You've certainly learned paranoia from the best. There are no surveillance devices in here. Still, for a man unafraid of even Hotsuin Yamato to be so concerned..."

"Discussing state secrets with unauthorized personnel is tantamount to treason." I hand him the flash drive. "You understand I can't afford to go on record."

Despite his look of suspicion, he takes it and plugs it into his computer. "What..." His jaw drops as he goes through the files. "This is... the Defense Minister? And the— Wh—" He whirls on me. "How did you come by this information?"

I smile wryly. "You know I can't tell you that. But if you investigate those leads, I'm sure you will unearth quite the scandal."

Brown eyes narrow. "Did Hotsuin tell you to do this?"

"No." My gaze drops to my hands folded on my lap. "Yamato would be furious if he found out," and it hurts to think I might lose him, "but I'm trying to prevent calamity."

"Calamity?"

"You must have heard about the new legislation," I sigh, leaning back. "Yamato has been commanded to raise a division for our military."

Ronaldo gapes, voice dropping to a hushed exclamation. "As in a division of summoners?"

I incline my head in agreement, watching as shock turns to horror. "He will serve his country, of course — it's all he knows. In practice, it is little more than hiring additional personnel and training them more rigorously. The problem is that someone," I nod at the computer, "fully intends to use our abilities as an instrument of war."

"Heh." He leans back, crossing his arms, an ironically familiar pose. "I find it hard to believe that Hotsuin isn't celebrating."

If Yamato were the kind to celebrate, he really might be, but that's the last thing I want to think about, and it's not important here. I close my eyes.

"Whatever you may think of us, the use of our technology is highly regulated. Using it to harm humans is strictly forbidden under all but the most dire of circumstances. Even as a last resort, this is madness." Looking up, I meet his gaze. "I am here because I have hope in a justice that protects those who cannot protect themselves, even if they are the enemy. If things continue as they are, that might be the entire world. What will you do?"

Ronaldo lights up, rising. "I'm glad — you truly are different from Hotsuin." He extends his hand. "You were right to seek me out, Hibiki. I'll find the proof we need and protect our peace, you'll see. Justice will be served — I swear it upon these hands."

I stand, take his hand and shake it. Some things never change. Oh! Perhaps he will know something. "Have you had any luck with finding your superior?"

Ronaldo grimaces as we walk out. “No. He's very good at covering his tracks and staying hidden. I guess that's why he's my superior, haha. That's how he has survived till now."

"I caught a glimpse of him recently," I murmur, “at his daughter's concert."

"Hey, that's right! She's an idol now, isn't she? That's a great lead, Hibiki. I owe you."

Seeing his blinding smile, I can't bear to even think that Yamato may have finished the job —heck, I can hardly bear to think of Yamato at all right now— so I merely say, "I hope Airi and her father can be reunited now that it's all blown over."

"Yeah, I'll keep looking." Back at the reception, he claps me on the shoulder. "I’m sure this goes without saying, but… Watch your back. Look, I know you trust Hotsuin, and maybe I just haven't seen his good side, but I _have_ seen that he'll turn on you mercilessly as soon as you cease to be useful, so just... Be careful."

"Don't worry about me," I tell him with a laugh, “I’m good at staying useful,” but it sounds hollow and uncertain even to my ears.

I don't know whether Ronaldo makes anything of it — he only nods and says, "Well, I hope we will meet again as allies."

We part ways, and as I exit the building, I summon Agares and instruct him to make sure no one except Ronaldo remembers I was ever here.

The truth is, though, no matter how careful I am, I know it is inevitable that Yamato will find out eventually. Even without proof, he will at least suspect, and suspicion is all he needs.

It hurts.

Now that the urgency has passed, it hurts so much, I can barely breathe.

I'm sure I know Yamato better than anyone. I'm just not sure that's very well at all anymore. Would the Yamato who sought to apprehend anyone abusing the app for personal gain allow some corrupt politicians to use it in battle for personal glory? I don't know if he really plans on going to war, and I can’t help but think that maybe I’ve inadvertently poisoned his thoughts.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I force in a deep, shuddering breath and keep walking. To think the one goal I thought I had would turn out to be two clashing goals instead. I know what I must do — if that time comes, there will only be one way to stop him. But where would that leave us?

Responsibility and sacrifice… I don’t want it to just be more of that between us.

I shake my head as I realize that I’ve meandered back towards Hisaya Odori. I don’t want to go back yet — I can’t deal with Yamato right now. Instead, I head towards the park and cut through — Jungo’s restaurant is on the other side, and now seems like a good time to visit.

It’s little more than a hole in the wall, and true to Keita’s word, Jungo’s naming sense hasn’t improved — it’s literally called Friendship Chawan Mushi. The menu consists of several styles of chawan mushi served with a variety of toppings, accompaniments or condiments, and it’s jam-packed despite still being office hours — Jungo barely has time to take my order. He's surprisingly apologetic and dismayed that we won’t get to chat, and it brings a fond smile to my face — it was a bit like this when we first met too, Jungo so oddly happy to make my acquaintance. As I wait, a familiar cat slinks over to rub against my ankles, and I notice its collar when I reach down to pat it.

Surprise, surprise — without my and Otome’s intervention, Jungo named the cat after himself.

Jungo the First serves me my unagi chawan mushi, and I let Jungo the Second lick a sliver of eel off my fingers. It’s better than I remember, and I wish Y—

I should invite him later. Who knows how much time we have left together?

 _No._ I rub the sting out of my eyes and finish my food. _I need to stop thinking like this._

I’ve lost my appetite, so I pay and leave to wander down the street. I haven’t the mood to browse the shops either, so I just turn on some music and let my feet carry me forward.

I don’t know how long I keep walking listlessly, but the sky is darkening — I’ll have to go back soon. The train ride takes nearly two hours, and I work tomorrow. There's a Koke! Mart just up ahead, so I head in to grab a drink and some pudding before I look for the nearest train station. Passing the magazine rack, I catch sight of the latest Shōnen Chump and decide I'll take it — I need the distraction.

As I exit, I nearly walk right into someone, and when I glance up to apologize, I realize it's Joe, so I tell him, "They're out of Shōji Leap, but there's one last copy of Shōnen Chump."

"Bwuh?! Hey, that's amazing. How'd you know I was here for those?"

 _Oh. Oops. Uh..._ "Lucky guess." I laugh it off. "You seemed the type."

"Aw, man... That's no good at all. Is that the impression I've been leaving on everyone?" He doesn't seem particularly bothered though.

"A friend of yours?" asks the lady behind him.

"Huh? Nah, we just met." He steps aside and wraps an arm around her shoulders, beaming. "I'm Joe, and this is my fiancée, Nagisa."

"My name is Hibiki. Nice to meet you."

We exchange polite bows, and I take it this is an after-work date — Joe's in a suit much like the one he was wearing when we first met, and Nagisa is dressed in a trendy but office-appropriate purple dress.

"Going for dinner?"

Gaping, Joe turns to Nagisa. "This guy’s some kinda psychic, I'm telling you." Back to me, "This is destiny. I should save your number."

I snort, turning to Nagisa. "Is this how he hit on you the first time too?"

They laugh, and she shoos him to buy his stuff before they're late for their reservation. With her long black waves pinned up to frame her heart-shaped face, she looks every bit the sweet fashionista. Her health seems all right now, and I'm glad.

It's starting to feel like mine is the only situation that hasn't improved.

"Is everything all right?" Nagisa asks suddenly. "You seem kinda down."

"Oh. Uh..."

"Sorry if it seems like I'm prying. You don't have to say."

"No, I just… had a big fight with someone," I sigh, leaning back against the glass. "I love them very much, but it feels like we're breaking apart, like we're too different now and they'll tire of me soon." I shrug. "Don't worry about it."

She shakes her head, looking pensive. “You know, I’ve always been sickly and had terrible luck with relationships. So when I was hospitalized earlier this year, and Joe started avoiding me, I was really sad. It was like... double whammy, you know? I mean, he's always been a bit of a flake, but I didn't think he'd really abandon me like that. I'd just about given up, but then he finally visited, and we cleared things up. He even proposed!" She smiles, shy but happy. “Sorry, am I over-sharing? I guess all I'm trying to say is... I’m glad I didn’t give up on him. Love isn't always easy. Sometimes, it's really hard, and there are rough spots you've gotta tough out. You just need to decide for yourself whether it's worth it."

Just then, Joe returns, purchases in hand. “Look, Nagi-chan, I bought your favourite." He hands her a citron cooler. “What were you guys talking about?"

"You," I deadpan, and she giggles.

“Oh, come on! What'd I do this time?"

"Make us late for dinner." She loops her arm through his. “Oh, wait, Joe wants your contact info, right? Why don't you send it to me over IR?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sure."

I fish out my phone and align its infrared port with her rose gold one to exchange our contact details. To my surprise, I also receive a file.

"That's my favourite song. It's pretty old, but it's gotten me through some of my worst breakups, so... I don't know — maybe it'll help you too."

"Hey, cheer up, man." Joe pats me on the shoulder with his usual easygoing grin. "If it's you, I'm sure things will work out. Just a feeling I have." As ever, he's full of optimism, and for once, I wish it were more infectious. "Anyway, you're young! You gotta have a sunny outlook on life."

"Well, we'd better get going before they mark us as a no show. Maybe we can meet up again sometime."

“Thanks,” I say with a wry smile. “I’ll drop you guys a line when I’m next in Nagoya.”

“See you~" Joe sings with a wave as Nagisa leads him away, and I wave back before heading for the subway.

At the interchange, I switch to the Shinkansen and settle in for the two-hour ride, trying not to think about what awaits me back in Tokyo. I read the magazine slowly as I eat my snacks, even the stories I don't normally follow, and I'm dismayed to find there's still fifty-four minutes to kill when I'm done.

Seeking another distraction, I take my phone out to play some games and realise I haven't checked the song Nagisa sent me. It's as good a time as any, so I plug in my parka's speakers and play it.

Oh. This song. I heard it a few times some years back. My mother really liked it.

Crap. I—I'm glad the conductor has already passed me. It feels like I've been holding this in for too long, and I just— I just need to let it out. Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop, and I’m glad I wore the parka — I pull my hood lower to cover my face, curl up on the chair and muffle my sniffles. 

Nagisa's right — I can't give up. Of course it's worth it. I decided even before we met Polaris. And I knew what I signed up for — it was never going to be easy. Trust Yamato to make it harder, but the bitter pill is always the best, right? I— I need to see him; I need to fix this. Nothing was ever solved by avoiding the issue. I can do this; I've done it before. I just need to keep trying.

Maybe I just needed the catharsis — by the time I arrive in Tokyo, I feel ready for tomorrow.

It's a quick subway trip back to Nagatachō, and I am mercifully spared the awkwardness of running into any of the branch staff on the way to my room. But as I round the corner, I find Yamato at the door, hand raised to knock, and he turns at the sound of my footsteps before I can reconsider. Our eyes meet, and he seems taken aback — I’m sure it’s obvious I just cried mine out.

Still, I smile as I approach. “Hey. Did you need something? I—”

Suddenly, I'm pulled into a tight hug. "Where have you been?" he asks gently, and—

Crap, I can’t help it — I’m crying again, returning the embrace desperately. _You’ll be so mad,_ I think, burying my face in his neck. _You’ll be so mad when you find out what I’ve done, but—_ “I—” I swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath before trying again. “I went to visit my friend's restaurant in Nagoya,” I manage this time. “He makes really good chawan mushi. We should go sometime." _At least you’ll respect me still. If I were the type to discard my goals over mere sentiment, you wouldn’t give me the time of day._

"Of course.” He combs his fingers through my hair soothingly. “As long as we are two different people, it is only natural that we will sometimes disagree. You need not be so upset."

I shake my head, stifling a sob. “I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It was out of line.” I’m so relieved — if he’s bothering to comfort me, even with manipulative intent, our relationship must be of some value to him. This is my chance. “Promise you won't send me away."

"Ha… Is that what has gotten you so upset? How silly, Hibiki. You are my most talented assistant. I wouldn't dismiss you over such trivial sentiments."

I let out a shaky laugh. “I don’t mean as a subordinate, obviously. I’m sorry. You must think me a sentimental fool. It pains me to be fighting with you."

"Then don't," he murmurs, rubbing my back. "Our goals are within reach. Let me lead you there.”

 _Heh. Wow. You really are the worst._ “Yes,” I sigh, leaning into him. “Like you promised.”

He lets me go, stepping back, and wipes my tears away with gloved fingertips. “Jettison those foolish worries, Hibiki. You’re mine. I won’t let anyone take you away from me.”

I freeze. _What?_

Yamato doesn’t seem to notice, just kisses my cheek. “Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” He walks away before I can find my tongue, and I whirl around to stare as he rounds the corner.

Is that—? Was that…?

I run a hand through my hair as I let myself in.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more conflicted.


	14. Will You Still Love Me?

Ever efficient, Yamato starts building the new division immediately, and I aid him to the best of my ability — I may have reservations about this, but I’m even more worried about what he might do untempered. Between our premier, the Defense Minister and Yamato himself, I am hard-pressed to decide who is more enthusiastic about this programme, and in spite of the expected damage to my relationship with Yamato, I find myself praying with growing horror that Ronaldo works quickly and that he follows the trail of leads to its logical conclusion.

Surprisingly enough, when it is announced, some of our existing staff apply to be transferred over, and anyone in the SDF with the required aptitude is assigned to this new unit. All of them only add up to just over half the official order for a Special Forces Unit of two hundred personnel, however, so with the Ministry of Defense’s support, we begin “recruiting” some of the civilians on our list. As the new unit has to be trained to a military standard, the SDF assigns us several “experts” to help design a new training regimen comprising both combat and summoning.

Almost as quickly, a number of problems arise.

It’s almost to be expected, but the decorated military veterans are having a tough time deciding which of us they respect less — Yamato is too young to outrank them, I am too young _and_ too recently a civilian, and Makoto is a woman, not to mention not much older than we are. They are thus incredibly displeased to learn that they have to abide by Yamato’s chain of command, which places Makoto and I above them, until the development programme ends and the unit is seconded to the SDF Special Forces. Teamwork has never been so challenging, and even the hardcore JP's loyalist in Makoto is disinclined to try much harder — she doesn't like this programme any more than I do, and we've come to a silent understanding that we'll be cooperative, but not proactive.

Almost as difficult is meeting the personnel quota. Regardless of the language employed, this is effectively conscription and, as any poll or survey would quickly confirm, incredibly unpopular, not to mention flagrantly unconstitutional. Unsurprisingly, the “recruitment drive” is facing so much resistance that we’ve had to push the programme end date back several months. This buys us more time while the government takes the fall, exactly as planned.

As JP's doesn't officially exist, the Ministry of Defense is necessarily the one sending out these "offer" letters. However, since JP's maintains the database of viable candidates, the list of recipients necessarily comes from us. I only told Fumi to exclude students and married people, then I personally deleted any names I recognize from the week of Polaris' trials before sending it on — oops, I forgot to exclude lawyers and journalists too. Providence is no one else checking the list either. Between the legal challenges and the swiftly spreading news, I expect there'll be a marked change in the Diet at the next General Election — surely Yamato can't fault my clearing the way for us?

In the meantime, we've had our programme's first summoning accident, and it's enough to put the fear of damnation in even the most battle-hardened of our new recruits. They may be prepared to get shot, bombed or otherwise killed on the front lines, but no one signed up to get devoured by a kobold without even remains left to bury or cremate, and watching it happen to a comrade during training is either the most motivational or most demoralizing experience in the world — they've now been frightened into either taking the entire programme extremely seriously or finding ways and means to quit.

I am by no means pleased, but the man was overconfident and careless — he wouldn't listen to me or Makoto and got himself killed before we could intervene. Makoto is terribly upset, of course, but I don't see what we could have done differently other than defeat the demon for him, which Yamato has expressly forbidden. I am forced to concede his point is beyond fair — if you can't defeat one measly low-level spirit to form your own contract, you'd never make it as a summoner in active combat anyway, and we can't afford any handholding in a programme like this. We _have_ been authorized to prevent casualties, at least, and that was the only time we were unsuccessful, but requiring our intervention still automatically relegates the candidate to a support role.

If Yamato suspects sabotage, he doesn’t mention it. He even agrees to a trip to Dōtonbori where we “run into” Daichi and Io on a date. We try some stuffed octopus and make our own okonomiyaki before going for a movie, a romantic comedy Io considered particularly date-appropriate. While not exactly the most interesting film I’ve seen in recent years, I’m glad it shows Yamato another facet of normal life and is quite entertaining. Yamato murmurs questions in my ear as we share a half-and-half popcorn, salted for him and caramel for me, and I explain the references and jokes he doesn't understand — it's even his first time eating popcorn. Io and Daichi return to Tokyo immediately afterwards, but Yamato insists on getting takoyaki, so we walk a bit for it.

"How do you and Io put up with such a wide intelligence gap?" he asks at length, ever direct.

I can't help bristling a little, but only say, "Daichi has many other qualities." It's indisputable that he's no genius, but that's not what friends are for.

"I see. If you say so, then they must be more important."

I doubt he sees, actually, but I appreciate the sentiment. “I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for,” I concede as we reach Dōtonbori, “but many people choose friends whose company they enjoy and that they know will support them when problems arise.”

Yamato considers this for a moment, then shakes his head and says, “I cannot understand how you are able to truly communicate when your levels are so far apart. It is because we think on a similar plane that you and I are able to share the understanding that we do even if we do not always agree as a result of our different grounding. How is it that you are able to connect with him so? Is it simply that your thoughts have been numbed by your emotions?”

Snickering, I lean closer, “Is that jealousy I hear? C’mon, why do you think it’s you I’m in love with?”

He makes an exasperated sound. “Why should a dragon be jealous of a monkey? It is mere curiosity.”

“Don’t laugh at him,” I say with a frown as we reach a takoyaki stall. “He may not be smart in the same way you or Fumi are, but Daichi can be quite the deep thinker, and he’s surprisingly dependable when he needs to be. His poor self-confidence makes him seem weak-willed, but he is not without ability.”

Violet eyes widen slightly, glinting with interest. “Hahaha… I see. At ease, Hibiki. If you think so, then it is worth looking into. Perhaps, in time, I will see these qualities and abilities you speak of.”

I’m relieved by his willingness to give even Daichi a second chance — there is hope for us yet.

This stall has prawn and crab variations that look delicious as well, so I order a serving of each and buy some hiyashi ame from another stall nearby before returning to his side. “That doesn’t mean you should be jealous though. Don’t let anything get in the way of our love. You’re unrivalled in my heart,” I tell him melodramatically with a cheeky grin.

“Enough.” Yamato sighs, sipping at his drink. “Do you never tire of these over-sentimental quips?”

“Well, you barely believe me as is,” I reply matter-of-factly. “I worry you’ll forget it’s true if I stop.”

For a moment, it looks like he wants to say something, but then our takoyaki arrives, and he concentrates on eating instead. I think to ask, but if it were more important than his discovery of a new favourite in the crab variant, I’m sure he’ll tell me soon enough.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_Holding Yamato close, I engrave everything about him into my memory — the angles of his body, the scent of his hair, the softness of his skin on mine. Glancing up at the clock, I resume my struggle to sleep, wishing we had more time, wishing we had an eternity just like this. My body is exhausted, and I know I need the rest, but I'm not even sure the problem is I can't._

_Yamato stirs, and I wonder again how I beat him — his strength and stamina are unbelievable._

_"You should sleep, Hibiki," he murmurs into my ear, voice husky with sleep. "It won't be an easy battle."_

_"I know. I just—" Sighing, I kiss his brow. "I can't. I—"_

_"What are you thinking of?"_

_Fiddling nervously with his equivalent of a panic button —I found it under his pillow earlier, and he explained it summons Cerberus in case of emergencies— I hesitate. He’d just call me a sentimental fool, but— "Wh— Yamato, what do you like about me?"_

_He blinks. "What?"_

_"I—I mean— Why me? Why not... I don't kn—"_

_"What is this about?" he interrupts sharply, propping himself up to look at me._

_"I— What if you forget me?" I mumble at last, looking away from his harsh stare. "I mean, I know we said we'd remember, that there's no way we could possibly forget, but... what if we don't? I mean, if the world gets restored, then theoretically, none of this ever happened, right? How could we remember something that hasn't happened yet?"_

_For several moments, he contemplates this, then, "If I said it is more like creating a copy from backed up data than repairing a corrupted file, would that answer your question?"_

_Conceptually, yes, but still, "What if you don't remember?"_

_Gently, Yamato cups my face, traces my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “You know as well as I, Hibiki — you don't need anything from me."_

_I shake my head, covering his hand with my own — that's not true._

_"What if you're the one who forgets?"_

_"Will you find me?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Then I'll fall for you again; I'm sure of it."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because you'd still be you." I squeeze his hand. “Nothing that I love about you has changed."_

_"Then you should not fear." He shifts down, so we're eye to eye. "If you come to me as you are, I will love you just the same as well."_

_Even if it’s a mere approximation of love, I’m glad to hear it, but I still kiss him like I’m going to lose him in the morning._ Will you? _I wonder. The truth is, he probably wouldn’t spare me a second glance, and I’d probably never get the chance to keep my promises to him._

_If only the problem were so simple. I don't mean to be cynical, but I know him._

_If only I remembered, he wouldn’t trust me any further than he could throw me._

_If only he remembered, it wouldn't be me he seeks first — it'd be Polaris._

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

We're discussing the proposal from the Ministry of Education in another committee when the police show up to make arrests. The shock spreads through the Diet, hushed by the usual façade of calm, like ripples on the water’s surface conceal a coming tsunami beneath. Just about the only basis allowed for apprehending Representatives and Councillors when the Diet is in session is pressing criminal charges, and legal action can't be taken against Cabinet members without the Prime Minister's permission, so the Diet rumour mill kicks into overdrive with whispered speculation. It is not till I hear the breaking news that I am truly impressed by Ronaldo's work — he turned anything he couldn't file as a criminal charge over to the press, and they are running the whole nine yards.

By the next day, the full story is all over the news, and it appears that some investigative journalism has turned up a wealth of other information, including some that implicate the Prime Minister, as I hoped. Hard evidence is difficult to come by, unsurprising given his family background —he learned from the best how to cover his tracks— but as the competition for the best selling scoop heats up, more and more resources are thrown into digging up more material, and the week is one news update and gossip magazine exposé after another. The Committees have already commenced investigations on the government, and public strikes and demonstrations have reached an unprecedented high.

Meanwhile, the scandal has also gone viral on the Internet and become the subject of global scrutiny with perhaps more than a little help from our most bitter neighbours. Unfettered on social media and message boards, speculation is a rising hot air balloon as people dredge up everything from history to connections to rumours to pour oil onto the fire and pile on the recent “conscription” issue. Backed by the foreign and domestic political pressure, the opposition parties are marshalling their forces to either demand the involved Ministers' resignations or call for a vote of no confidence.

In our favour, yes, but terrible for business — no one likes political instability. Still, at this point, there’s only so much damage it can do, and if history is any indication, things will be resolved quite quickly.

Amidst the escalating drama, Representative Haneda's family has come to visit, and she has invited me to join them for dinner, perhaps in hopes of my either positively influencing her son or taking romantic interest in her daughter. She’s rather happy with the situation, of course — she’s DPJ, and the current scandal could spell an opposition win in the next election. In truth, I fail to see how they’re much better or different — with all the different factions in each party, it’s hard to define what the party believes in as a whole, and it all depends on who makes it to Cabinet whether we have more of the same.

I’m getting dressed for the dinner when my phone rings — it’s Yamato. “Hey.” It’s after official working hours, but I still resist the urge to tack on an endearment he wouldn’t appreciate.

“Hibiki, come to my office when you have the time. There’s something I’d like to speak to you about.” As usual, he’s all business and no small talk.

“Sure, give me ten minutes.”

“Well then, I’ll see you in ten.”

He hangs up, and it’s six minutes to fix the look plus four minutes to walk to his office — I’m knocking on his door in exactly ten. He tells me to come in and glances up from his work as I open the door.

“You look nice,” he remarks to my surprise. “Where are you going?”

“Thank you, it means a lot coming from you. Representative Haneda invited me to dinner with her family, possibly in hopes I’ll rub off on her son.” Shutting the door behind me, I huff a chuckle. “If she only knew more about what I do outside the Diet, I bet she’d change her mind.”

“Yes…” Yamato finishes up a bit more typing before turning to me. "Speaking of outside," he gestures at the newspapers and magazines lying open on his desk, "this is your work, isn't it?"

Well, this is it. I've been preparing for this conversation since the day I went to meet Ronaldo. Here goes nothing. "In part," I answer honestly.

“I told you I wouldn't forgive any interference, not even from you." Ever dignified and controlled, Yamato doesn't raise his voice, but he's clearly angry.

“And I told you I won't let them use you."

"Don't twist this, Hibiki," he snaps, standing.

"I helped you set this Special Forces Unit up as you wished, but I have no intention of allowing unworthy politicians to use us for personal aggrandizement. Now we have the army we need, we don't have to go to war, and the political fallout will make it easier for strong contenders like us to win the election when we run in a few years. How is this a problem, Yamato?"

For several moments, he remains silent, pensive. Finally, he sits back down, looking suddenly weary, and says, "Heh. It feels like all I've ever done is play into your hands, Hibiki. I've never had any proof that we want the same things."

And there it is — that's the problem: He still doesn’t trust me any further than he could throw me. I drop into the chair across from him, not bothering to hide my disappointment. "I've never lied to you." It's true — I've kept secrets, but I've never told him any falsehoods. “Time was when you didn't need any proof."

Our eyes meet, and I can't help wondering — is the pain mirrored in his real, a pretense or merely my imagination?

"No," he agrees quietly at length, “you only tell me the truths that suit your purposes." Before I can respond, he turns back to his work. "Go, Hibiki. You'll be late."

I sigh, leaving, what little interest I had in the dinner gone.

I'd almost rather we had more of a fight. This is worse — this will fester.

And Yamato only skips the scolding and punishment when he's given up.


	15. Blurring The Lines

It has been six days since my dinner with Representative Haneda and her family, six days since Yamato and I last spoke regarding anything not strictly necessary for work, and if anyone notices the sudden tension, no one dares to comment. Makoto has noticed, I’m sure, but even she does little more than glance awkwardly at us, and I simply continue to focus on my work — I can’t afford to let this get to me.

Despite the rocky start and still being way below the requested personnel count, the new unit is steadily improving. The Ministry of Defense assures us that the programme will continue regardless of any changes to our laws or our military and foreign policy — their creative administrators have it filed as a training phase under “Field Test for the Deployment of Mobile Technologies,” and everyone knows that mobile phones aren’t weapons. There’s even a cover programme we’re testing, one that runs a prototype AI that can encrypt and decrypt information using constantly evolving algorithms to mitigate the risk of interception, so that we can securely send text, satellite or radar information to individual soldiers. Fumi is thrilled by the programme, anything but to realize that she’s in charge of training and testing.

Meanwhile, there's been an outbreak of hauntings across the country, mostly entities that were already there suddenly acting up, and I suspect it may have something to do with that recurring problem that Yamato mentioned. So when Makoto calls to tell me that the Chief specifically requests my immediate presence at Shōman-in Temple in Osaka, I’m somewhat surprised it’s not Shimane.

It hurts that he’s taken to asking Makoto to make the call instead of calling me personally as before, but it’s work, so I just tell her I’ll be there as soon as I can.

When I arrive, I am very surprised to be greeted by a perimeter of JP’s personnel — there’s no seal at Shōman-in on any of our records, so what could be the emergency?

Makoto can only tell me that Chief Hotsuin is waiting inside, and they’ve been ordered to allow no one in except me no matter what happens. So I head in, shaking my head wistfully at the irony — here we are, wrestling with all of our relationship problems, and the emergency operation that comes up happens to be at one of the country’s foremost love and marriage temples.

Heh, maybe we could use the help.

In the large square right in front of the main hall, I find Yamato drawing a magic circle, and I approach, crossing my arms. “I don’t suppose we’re here to drink Aizen-myouou’s miracle water.”

He chuckles, setting his sidewalk chalk down and turning to me. “As always, very funny, Hibiki, and I’d be happy to oblige you, but I did summon you for an operation, of course. I apologize for the short notice.”

If he’s only going to be nice for work, then we should just stick to work. "Well, let's hear it."

Yamato's expression shutters, and the atmosphere grows sombre. "I've mentioned that most supernatural entities have been sealed away by my ancestors. There aren’t many that remain.”

Right. “Go on.”

“Depending on the entity, some of these sealing rituals can only be performed at specific times, in this particular case, once every sixty years."

And we're here because "You're going to seal Aizen-myouou."

He smiles, approving. "Well done. Yes, tonight, the stars are aligned perfectly for sealing the last of the Eight Wisdom Kings, Rāgarāja."

"Okay. What do you need me to do?"

There’s a rare moment of hesitation, and it usually means dangerous.

"The Vidyārāja remove obstacles to enlightenment. Aizen-myouou transforms worldly desire into spiritual awakening,” Yamato says slowly. “According to the research done by my forebears, intense lust is required to summon and seal him."

In a beat, it clicks, and I'm furious.

"You know what?" People say their bellies boil over, and I can finally relate. “That’s low.” I raise an accusing finger as I step back, shaking my head in angry disbelief. "Even for you."

"Hibiki—" He reaches for me, but I jerk back and away, out of range.

"No." Crap — my eyes are stinging. "How dare you — you don't trust me, don’t pretend you're not still upset with me, you're only sweet when my affections are useful," I snap, continuing to back away, "and you have the gall —the _gall_ , Yamato— to tell me to—" I clamp my hand over my mouth as I choke up — no, I can't even say it. "No." I whirl around and storm towards the exit. " _No._ "

"Hibiki, wait." He runs after me, catches me by the elbow, and I shove him away.

"No!" I take another step back to put more distance between us. "If you have any respect for me, Yamato, you have a funny way of showing it. What do you take me for?! You don't have to love me, but I don't have to put up with your cruelty."

Before I can move, he darts forward to grab my forearms. "Will you just stop and listen?!"

I struggle to twist out of his grip in vain — I've never been his match in physical strength, and I can't even budge his hands. "And you know," I bite out bitterly instead. "You know it wouldn't just be a job to me. You _know._ "

" _Enough,_ Hibiki. Did I mumble? _Listen._ " He shakes me for emphasis. "A ritual is _nothing_ like the summoning programme. Whatever is needed —the procedures, artifacts, mantras, sacrifices, even the emotion— must be precisely right, must be _genuine._ You can't cheat — it doesn't work. None of my predecessors were able to seal this demon because they never had the right partner at the right time. Do you understand?"

Perfectly. I understand this is important to Yamato because it'll go down in history as the one thing he succeeded at where all of his ancestors failed — his defining achievement as the head of the Hotsuin clan. I understand that his doubts about me matter very little relative to his pride in his work, not that there's much he wouldn't do to achieve his goals anyway. I understand that he doesn't see any difference between love and lust, since he clearly thinks that spiel will change my mind. I understand I'd have to be messed up or desperate to even be considering it, and I don't know which is worse.

"What if I refuse?"

He falls silent, letting go. At length, he turns away, heaving a weary sigh. "I will have to leave it to my successor sixty years from now."

My hands fall limply to my side. "Now you're just saying what you think I want to hear."

He shakes his head. “It’s the truth. It won’t work with anyone else.”

I laugh brokenly through my tears. “What, you’ve tried?”

He whirls on me. “No,” he replies sharply, “and I don’t want to. Look, I didn’t want to do this while any doubt remains — if this is some elaborate trap you’ve set, Hibiki, I’m in deep enough as is.” He takes a deep breath, looking away. “I received word about tonight’s astronomical configuration the day you went to Nagoya. I meant to tell you —that’s why I went to your room that night— but it seemed inappropriate at the time. I was going to mention it the night we met your friends at Dōtonbori — I just didn’t know how to tell you." Shrugging, he sighs, "I expected this reaction — you have always been effusive about your affections. However, I can put this off no longer.”

“Heh, so what you’re saying is — you have remained silent despite growing increasingly suspicious of me ever since because you knew you would require my cooperation tonight.”

Violet eyes snap to mine, and my breath hitches — I’ve hurt his feelings. Maybe more than once tonight.

“What foolishness, Hibiki.” He huffs a sardonic laugh. “Did you truly think I would have allowed your advances all this time if they were unwelcome? Heh.” He shakes his head, walking away. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

 _No, wait._ I dart forward to pull him into a kiss, and I deeply regret the impulse — I can all but _see_ the last of my resolve and good sense crumble. Messed up _and_ desperate, I decide, but at least we’re not ruining things with the conversation.

He kisses back almost immediately, clumsy but ardent, and I cling to him as he deepens it, wrapping his arms tightly around me. Even if it’s a lie, heat blossoms where his hand slides up my spine to the staccato of my pulse, and I can barely feel my knees — I’ve wanted him for so long now.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for some time,” Yamato whispers over my lips when we part for air, and I press my forehead to his, keeping my eyes squeezed shut.

“Don’t,” I mumble, shaking my head. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

Sighing, he leans back to look earnestly at me. “Were you listening to anything I said?” More gently, sotto voce, “ _The emotion must be genuine,_ Hibiki.” He combs his fingers through my hair. “That’s why it can’t be anyone else.”

The question is — which emotion? And does it matter? If I could accept not knowing whether he ever loved me before, then what difference does it make whether this is really love now?

"You can't go back from this," I tell him instead. Because "I can't go back from this." At the very least, if we're breaking all the boundaries, they need to stay broken. "Don't do that to me, Yamato. Please."

"That was never my intention." He presses his lips to my temple. "Come now, Hibiki, I'm not so heartless as to pretend that this changes nothing."

Relaxing, I rest my head on his shoulder. _I can live with that,_ I think. "I can live with that."

"Well then," he murmurs, relaxing as well. "Our time grows short. Shall we prepare?"

I sigh, letting him lead me into the main hall by the shoulders. "Yes."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

We part to purify ourselves and change, and when I rejoin Yamato, I'm grateful we're summoning a deity of passion, not purity — Yamato looks incredibly hot in a yukata, and I have zero confidence in my ability to think pure thoughts. Following his instructions, I help him set up the magic circles — one outside in the square and one just inside the main hall. Ever impressive, he's doing this completely from memory, and I have no doubt he understands all the arcane symbols he's drawing on the ground. Then he sets up a koto within the indoor circle and extends his ungloved hand in invitation.

"I told you, if you stay long enough, you might get your chance," he says as I take it.

"I'm so glad the intense lust is part of the job." I chuckle as he draws me closer. "I'm already having trouble focusing on anything else."

Sitting in seiza, he pulls me into his lap. "Suddenly, you are very eager to put up with my cruelty."

"I'm afraid you're toying with my affections, but that doesn't mean I don't want to ravish you." Looping my arms around his neck and mirroring his teasing grin, I add, "Besides, how do you know it won't be you putting up with my cruelty?"

"Hahaha, how indeed... I'm afraid you can’t be trusted, but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you,” he ripostes, meeting my gaze. “How do I know it isn’t you toying with my affections?"

Despite the playfulness, I see no deception in his eyes, and I let myself believe, let myself hope.

“You’ll know,” I murmur, kissing the corner of his mouth. "Someday. I can only wait till you trust me again. So we should begin… while your seduction is working."

Yamato chuckles as I move to his side and shifts closer to the koto. "Very well. Here are the details of this operation. I will play the song that activates the summoning circle. When activation is complete, I will recite the mantra for Aizen-myouou. When the summoning succeeds, we will subdue and seal the demon. The intensity of the emotion must be sufficient before complete activation, and I leave it to you to decide how you will generate it, but you must never leave this barrier circle. Is that clear?”

I hide a smirk — leave it to me, will he? “Crystal.” I start up the summoning program before setting my cellphone an arm’s reach away — I doubt I’ll have the presence of mind later.

“Well then.”

Putting on the plectra, he takes a moment to focus, then begins to play, and it’s every bit as beautiful as I imagined. I watch, admiring, then wrap my arms around his waist, pressing close.

He stops. “...Hibiki?”

“You said you’d leave it to me.” I nip at his ear, trace the shell with my tongue. “So focus on the music.”

He sighs and starts again, and I make sure to adapt to his movements as I mouth my way down the side of his neck. He tilts his head obligingly to give me better access, and I hear his breathing quicken ever so slightly as I drop one hand to his knee. My senses tingle as energy gathers in the air, but I keep going, finding all the places I discovered again. Kissing my way along the nape of his neck to the other side, I slide my hand slowly up his thigh, and his breath hitches.

“I see... This is me putting up with your cruelty,” he mutters, not a pause in his playing, and I only smile into his skin as I slip a hand under his clothes to flick my thumb over a nipple in time with the music.

He whimpers, shifts his position a little, and doesn’t stop me from untying the sash on his yukata. His fair skin looks almost luminous in the moonlight, and I graze the juncture between neck and shoulder with my teeth. I’ve missed the smell of him, the taste of him on my lips, the sound of his voice moaning my name as I caress his inner thigh like this, and I’m not sure which of us is trembling with need.

He hasn’t even made a mistake if the gathering energy is anything to go by, and I’m terribly impressed — he’d been so sensitive our first night together. I press my lips into the pulse point behind his ear as I slide a hand down his torso, and he whines — my attention is wanted elsewhere.

I want to take him into my mouth, lick him open till he’s begging me to take him, and I can’t help rutting into the small of his back — it only intensifies the throbbing, and my hand tightens involuntarily on the turn of his hip. It sounds like he’s nearing the end of this repetition though, and the energy seems to be reaching a crescendo, so I drag my hand back sharply to stroke my fingers over his entrance.

Yamato gasps, stops playing and jerks back into my arms. I groan his name as I tilt his face to lick into his mouth, and he allows it, kissing back with equal passion. Before I can move, he grips my wrist hard enough to hurt, and I stop, reaching for my cellphone when I realize he’s whispering words I don’t understand — the mantra.

Suddenly, it’s as if all the gathered energy explodes, rending the space before us, and what looks like a lion-headed man with six arms is hovering over the magic circle outside. Between the wide open jaws of the lion is a man's face, at once grotesquely twisted with wrath, yet somehow beautiful. He doesn't appear to be clothed, and even his long, wild hair leaves little to the imagination. His skin is so red, it's almost purple, and despite his bulky musculature, he moves with sensual grace.

“Ah, Hotsuin... I should have expected that this fallen age would produce one of you capable of summoning me," the demon says, voice resounding through the night, every word thrumming through me with equal parts pleasure and need, and I moan into Yamato's hair. He shivers — it's affecting him too.

Swallowing to steady his voice, Yamato replies, "I _will_ be the one to seal you."

"We shall see, Hotsuin."

I bite my lip, tightening my hold on him as I almost come, and he curls into me.

“Show me you can overcome your worldly desires!"

Aizen-myouou charges at us, and I confirm the summon command an instant before he crashes into the barrier around us. Cerberus tackles him —Yamato must have used that panic button device— as Lilith materialises and glances at us.

“Well, that explains how you were able to resist my charms."

I give her the best “Seriously?” face I can muster, and she laughs as she glides forward.

“Yes, yes… We did have an agreement, after all.”

As I hoped, Aizen-myouou immediately turns on her. “You! Vile temptress who leads men to deny the dharma, I banish you from this place!”

“Long before your dharma, the first seduction was mine. Mine is man's primal desire — denying me only makes me stronger!"

They clash, and it’s admittedly not much of a battle. The summoning app shows quite the level difference between them. Cerberus presses the assault as well, and between Multi-Strike and Holy Dance, our quarry goes down quite quickly.

"To think that you would have such power..." the Vidyārāja says with effort. "Very well, my work is done. Whenever your desires stand in the way of your enlightenment, you may call on me again."

Yamato fishes out his phone to activate the sealing equipment, and it rises from under a stone tile in the square. Aizen-myouou disintegrates into a mass of pure energy, and I return Lilith as his essence is drawn into the seal. Yamato, too, returns Cerberus as the seal sinks back into the ground and flips his phone shut with a final sigh, leaving us alone once more in the quiet temple.

I shift uncomfortably — I'm still painfully hard, Yamato looks utterly debauched in my arms, and if he says we should stop now, I might kill him myself.

"Yam—mmngh..."

He's pulled me into another kiss by my hair, pinning me to the floor in a quick roll as he gets my clothes out of the way, and I moan as his tongue slides against mine, as he sucks and nips like he wants it all. Breaking off, he scrapes his teeth down my jugular to my collarbone, and I'm arching up into him, crying out as he rocks his hips into mine.

As ever, he's a fast learner, but it's his urgency that gets me — rough with want and leaving marks all over my skin, he claims me as his own, and it's all I've ever wanted.

Lacing our fingers as he mouths his way back up to my ear, he purrs, "Such power," licking and nibbling like I did earlier, and I whimper, trembling on the edge. "Where have you been, Hibiki?" He sucks on my earlobe, and I cling to him, fingers digging into his back hard enough to leave bruises of my own. "Tell me what you want."

"You," I gasp helplessly. "Yamato, please. I— _ahhnn_!!"

It's white-hot rapture, and I cling to it, ride every sensation as he spills with a final buck of his hips, groaning my name as he slumps into me. Wrapping my arms around him, I cradle him close, savour the warm glow of pleasure that radiates between us, and comb my fingers through his hair.

Tugging my hair to tilt my head, he nuzzles into my neck with a chuckle and murmurs, "I'd kiss you, but your lips are already swollen."

So much for any semblance of respectability. "Then what difference does it make?"

I turn into the kiss — it's gentle this time, languid, and loving, at least on my part. I know, of course, now that I'm thinking again, that he didn't mean his earlier question so simply, and I lied.

I don't think I could live with this being a lie.


	16. Mothers And Sons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually overseas right now, and internet access is either expensive or sporadic. I'll probably only update again when I get back. In the meantime, I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story and share your thoughts! ♥

All at once, everything, and yet nothing, has changed.

To be fair, Yamato kept his word — we spend some nights together in his room, sharing our research on new things to try. He says he's no longer upset, particularly since things are working out in our favour, but I'm sure he's already factored it into his opinion of me. That aside, either we cleaned up better after that ritual at Shōman-in than we thought, or no one dares to comment as usual, but appearances continue to be kept up, and for the most part, he’s no warmer or colder than usual.

Without words, I know he still has reservations. Without words, we agree to take things as they come.

My days are filled with coordinating responses to the activity spike, my nights with restless sleep, either alone or in his arms. My body is exhausted, my mind plagued with half-remembered snatches of nightmares, and he soothes me, wraps me in his arms and silk sheets and whispers that it’s all right.

I wish I knew the cause of my disquiet or what he means by that.

At the Diet, I’ve been discussing the proposal from the Ministry of Education with as many people as I can between all the meetings, gauging opinions and planting ideas. That they think I'm a naïve and ignorant teenager thrust into their world through some twist of biochemistry helps when I'm talking them into thinking the ideas were theirs the whole time. Some of the amendments I want have been made, so it’s working to some extent, but I may need to push harder soon.

In the meantime, I've occasionally been posting questions, thoughts and discussions on popular social sites and message boards under a pseudonym in an attempt to gauge popular opinion. The knowledge will be useful in the near future, and the responses have been informative so far — between the continued public outcry and the Diet grapevine, it appears that there will be some resignations and reshuffling sometime soon.

Yamato gives me a full week’s notice this time that the Shimane operation date has been confirmed and explains the incident — every eight years, a bunch of underworld demons, mostly Shikome and Ikusa, will attempt to bring Izanami back to our living world, and the lore suggests she will wreak mass destruction if they succeed. We will have to stop this ritual on two fronts — by the Chigaeshi no Ookami at Yomotsu Hirasaka and atop Izanami’s tomb on Mount Hiba. Both are equally dangerous, and I will need to build two teams.

The week is spent going through our performance evaluations to determine who will be participating in Operation Nuboko, as it’s been dubbed. I select twenty of our best and most experienced personnel from across the country for each team, but Yamato is pleased by my decision to add the most promising recruits from our Special Forces division. They need some real battle experience as demon tamers, but not many of them are ready, so I only take the few that are, bringing us to twenty-four per team. I also make arrangements for our break the day after as previously agreed.

On the day of the operation, the selected personnel gather at the Osaka Main Branch, and we take the Terminal to Shimane prefecture together. Yamato frowns as we are greeted by the branch staff as usual, but doesn’t remark when I immediately jump into a planning discussion.

As it happens, Agent Takagi, the Shimane Branch Head, is one of JP’s longest serving agents, a studious-looking bespectacled man in his thirties. He started out around our age and has been with JP’s ever since. The way Yamato runs things, leaders aren’t fixed positions within a formal organizational structure — out of all the branch personnel, the most qualified leader is selected to be in charge regardless of which function they serve. That means everyone has the opportunity to climb to the top no matter their specialisation or where they start out — they just have to perform.

Together, we reconnoitre both locations and formulate a strategy for Operation Nuboko, then Yamato and a few others stay behind to make some preparations on location while the rest of us return to the branch to coordinate support, intelligence and logistics.

Alone with Takagi in the car with nothing left to discuss till we get back to base, the drive is silent, and I give in to my worries — Yamato has always taken his work very seriously, of course, but he seems tense today though he hides it well. He’s made almost every battle we’ve been in together seem easy, so his unusual anxiety can only mean that this operation will be extremely dangerous.

“I’m glad you’re joining us for tonight’s operation, Vice Chief Kuze,” Takagi pipes up as if on cue, and for a fleeting moment, I entertain the thought that I might have been thinking aloud.

“Of course.” I incline my head with a smile. “It _is_ my responsibility.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it that way,” he replies with a grimace. “Pardon me. I mean, you’ve only recently joined us, you see. Before that, I assumed Vice Chief Sako would be the one assisting with this operation. But word has it you’re as powerful a summoner as Chief Hotsuin, so I’m glad it’s you.”

“Hardly. Our Chief has a strength all his own and remarkable potential. Still…” I frown — I hope the participating agents are ready, that I haven’t handpicked two batches of casualties. “This operation is looking far more dangerous than I was led to believe.”

“Ah, that’s right… You wouldn’t know, since you’re so new, and it's not something we talk about.”

I raise an eyebrow as Takagi sighs, his grimace deepening — what did Yamato not tell me this time?

“Eight years ago, on this same case — that was how our last Chief died.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Operation Nuboko is scheduled to begin at sundown, and we depart for both locations two hours ahead in a convoy of cars and vans. Seated beside Yamato in his limousine, I watch him stare out the window — most would only see our fearless leader. I dug up our records of this case after we were done with preparations earlier — the last Chief was Yamato’s mother, Hotsuin Kiyoko, and she reportedly died attempting to save the group at Yomotsu Hirasaka. Regardless, only six of them survived. Yamato would probably be the first to call it a sacrifice for the unworthy.

I slide closer to rest my head on his shoulder and squeeze his knee. Unexpectedly, he wraps an arm around me, covers my hand with his own, and I wonder if he's comforted, if he thinks we're going to die.

“Which team do you want to lead?” he asks, much as he often did during Polaris’ trials.

“Which would you choose?”

“Yomotsu Hirasaka,” says the man who sent us all to face one half of Merak while he fought the other alone, who wouldn't let anyone take his place at Sapporo and was the last to evacuate, escaping only seconds before Alioth fell.

“Then that's the one I want.” It still chills me to think he might have died if I hadn't stopped Alcor in time.

Yamato falls silent for several moments, then “Hibiki, take Mount Hiba.”

Tilting my head to glance up, “Because you're worried, or because you have something to prove?”

He lets go. “If you wanted to know something, you should have just asked instead of snooping around.”

I straighten. “I was _doing my job._ I looked up our files on this incident to better understand what we're up against, and I wish I'd done it earlier.” After reviewing the reports, I reallocated the teams — twenty-eight at Yomotsu Hirasaka and twenty at Mount Hiba.

Yamato takes a second, then leans into my side and sighs, “A bit of both.”

I wrap my arms around him and kiss his temple. “Don't worry, we've faced worse together.”

He smiles teasingly. “You mean you have.”

“We have. I believe in you.”

“Then take Mount Hiba.”

I sigh, “All right.” We're almost at Yomotsu Hirasaka, our first stop, so I take two peaches out of a bag and press one into his hands. I stepped out to buy them earlier at a nearby shop.

Raising an eyebrow, he says, “If I have to resort to this, the battle is already lost.”

I laugh. “Pretend it's a lucky charm if you prefer, but I was really thinking of a different legend. Let's take a bite each and swap.”

“Ha… you can be so silly,” he mutters, but obliges.

I take a bite out of mine —it’s very sweet, as the shopkeeper promised— and we swap as the car slows to a halt. “Love of the half-eaten peach never dies, you know.” I peck him on the lips with a grin. “Don't forget we have a date later.”

Shaking his head, he squeezes my free hand. “So you keep reminding me as if I'm losing my memory.”

He disembarks, and I finish eating the peach as we continue on to Mount Hiba, praying that we're ready. There is no tomb per se — the three mountains of Mount Hiba themselves are the burial mound. There is, however, an inner shrine on the summit, said to be directly atop the grave, so we climb up there from the outer shrine at the foot of the mountain. Yamato has drawn a magic circle to keep out any demons without a contract, and we take up position within it, watching our surroundings intently for any signs of activity.

As the sun dips below the horizon, I sense it — the presence of death. “Something’s coming,” I warn the others, and they clutch their phones more tightly, checking the summoning app for identification. My phone rings — it's Yamato. “It's begun, hasn't it?” I ask, picking up.

“Yes. They will attempt to get past you to enact the ritual. May the war gods be with you.”

“And also with you. Stay in contact.”

“I will. We must coordinate.”

He hangs up just as glowing yellow butterflies flutter out of the trees — they can’t be normal. I summon Byakko, climb onto its back and have it raise Shield All just in case. As they near, it becomes clear that they're actually tiny grey humanoids with butterfly wings, and they shimmer in and out of opacity. The summoning app identifies them as Chou-keshin just as they all cast Ice Dance at the same time. Shield All only blocks one hit, but the rest are little more than a bit of chill — they're not very strong. I tell anyone who can to use Mazio, help them out with a few hits from Byakko, and the first wave goes down quickly.

There's a ghastly moaning in the forest then — it seems we won't even get a reprieve. I set my skills to Drain, Tetrakarn, Makarakarn, Anti-All, Anti-Almighty, Mana Stream and Debilitate. The trees come alight with a reddish hue as what look like orbs of flame float out towards us. The app says they're Mou-ryo, and they're weak to force and electricity, so I approach them to draw them towards me and summon Susano-o. He's ecstatic for a chance to fight again and is a little disappointed when a well-placed Mazandyne all but decimates them.

Just then, my phone rings again. “Yamato?” We’re far enough away that I can speak freely.

“I expect it's been easy going for you so far. The real battle starts now, Hibiki. Don't get careless.”

His concern is charming, and in spite of the situation, I giggle helplessly. “I love you too.”

Yamato makes an exasperated sound and hangs up as cackling rises around us, and I ride back towards the magic circle just as we're suddenly surrounded by an army of Yomotsu Ikusa. This is problematic — most of the agents have mid-level demons at best, and they're nowhere near ready for these numbers.

“Look alive and stay within the circle! They're weak to force, so anyone with Force Dance or Mazandyne should attack while the others focus on healing and defense!”

I cast Tetrakarn and am rewarded by several instances of Assassinate being reflected. As another Mazandyne clears a row of Ikusa, I see yellow light arcing between them, and the Elec Dance hits before I can warn anyone about the Raijuu. Byakko blocks it for me as Susano-o charges the horde with Deathbound, hacking with his large sword and slipping in a Mazandyne. Behind me, I hear some of the agents crying out in pain, and I switch places with the team under the heaviest assault to recast Tetrakarn as Byakko tears into the Ikusa with Multi-Strike.

Several more rounds of Deathbound leave Susano-o low on both health and mana, so I swap him out for his sister and have her cast Prayer on the teams who need it most to help the healers. There are still so many demons, and I can't see the others, so I pat Byakko on the head before swapping it out for Agares. Several Ikusa seize the opening, and I almost fall over as a spear catches me in the leg, but the old man pulls me up onto his floating crocodile and sends them all flying with another Mazandyne.

“I may be old, but I’m still a Grand Duke of Hell!” he gripes as his crocodile swats another Ikusa away with its tail while my stab wounds knit shut.

[ ](http://swimmingrat.tumblr.com/post/135710833017/when-reading-shinigamiyumis-of-a-clairvoyant)

From this vantage point, I see we're down two members, one in pieces of stone and another hopefully only unconscious on the ground. The circle is holding for now, and enemy demons can't physically cross over, but their spells and weapons can still reach inside. As I watch, an Arahabaki fades out of existence, followed by a Pendragon, and their summoners scramble to find another demon to replace them. The Pazuzu, Basilisk, Barbatos and Hamsa are holding out, and I’m pleased to find one of our healers doing a good job combining Kikuri-hime and Lailah.

Amidst the throng of Ikusa now, I see black forms weaving serpentine between them, and I’m guessing they’re the Shikome. It’s a bit hard to balance on the crocodile when it moves, and Agares complains about “kids these days” as we are joined by Baphomet, Thor, Nalagiri and Shiisaa. I have him clear out another group with Mazandyne again before approaching them and recasting Tetrakarn.

“Thor and Shiisaa should focus on the Raijuu. Baphomet, Nalagiri and Basilisk, target the black forms — they’re the Shikome leading the army. Baphomet should stay out of range behind the other two and switch between Maragi and Drain. Pazuzu, Barbatos and Hamsa, continue attacking the Ikusa.”

The others nod in affirmative, and I turn to have Agares blow another Mazandyne through the ranks of Ikusa, earning us some health and mana. It leaves a cluster of Shikome in the clear, so I have Amaterasu follow up with Maragidyne. In the light of the flames, I see their shadowy bodies and long black hair burning as they shriek, and I wonder when this will end, if the people of Shimane will notice the smoke and fires on the mountaintop.

Wait. This isn't— Burning demons shouldn’t produce smoke. This is a cold fog.

I drop one last Mazandyne and Maragidyne each before retreating towards the circle and having Amaterasu cast Goddess Grace. She shines beside us, illuminating the thickening fog as I warn the rest to heal — something worse is coming.

Predictably, my phone rings. “What are we up against?”

“Aspects of Izanami, the fragments of her spirit in this world that the ritual would have merged into a single entity. Is there fog where you are?”

“Yes.” Amaterasu and Agares cast Maragidyne and Mazandyne respectively again, and the fog thickens.

“Then I expect we’ll be fighting Kunino-sagiri and Ameno-sagiri this time, one at each location.” That actually doesn’t sound too bad — they reportedly fought Hinokagutsuchi and Amatsu-Mikaboshi in previous years. “Research indicates they are linked to each other, representing the earth and the heavens respectively, and can only be defeated simultaneously.”

“Heh. Good practice for Megrez then.” I wonder if this would be a first for Yamato — he’s always just taken every situation in stride, as if it’s nothing he hasn’t done before.

“Hm? Ah… I see. Then I’ll be counting on you.”

I smile fondly. "That goes both ways, of course.”

“Ha, what cheek. Still, it’d be dull if you were any other way.”

Abruptly, all the remaining Ikusa and Shikome self-destruct, and the blast hits to the soul.

“Hibiki?”

I must have made a sound of pain, but hearing the worry in his voice is better than any analgesic or healing spell. “Agh, I’m fine,” I reply as Amaterasu heals us with Goddess Grace again. “They all just self-destructed.”

"Sacrificial summoning,” he confirms even as I feel a massive presence gathering in the area. “A magic circle won’t keep anything of this level out, only weaken it slightly.”

“Right. Let’s do this.”

He hangs up as the fog begins to coalesce into a large sphere, and I switch Makarakarn to Prayer and Debilitate to Magic Yin before swapping Amaterasu for Lilith and Agares for Purple Mirror.

“Oho?” Lilith floats closer as she materialises with a conspiratorial smile. “Are you alone today or are these ones new?”

I Look at her. “Neither. Please, will you focus?”

The others snicker, and I turn to them. “All of you, get to the centre of the circle and be on guard while the app analyses it. Prepare whatever demons you have. Even if they can't attack, they can at least heal and guard.”

“Yes, Vice Chief, sir.”

They turn serious and obediently crowd behind me, summoning two demons each. The strongest of these is a Vivian, and there are a few fairy types — great, Glamour and Fairy Dust are useful skills, even if they depend a bit on luck.

“Good. Move any demon with support skills to the back, out of range of its attacks, and support each other, so I can focus on the offense. Agent Miyagi, this Vivian is yours?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Keep her in the middle. Do you have a Divine?”

“No.”

“Agent Kamiki, please exchange your Aniel with her Flauros. Agent Miyagi, please keep using Blood Wine and Fairy Dust in turn whenever you can. The rest of you, stay within Vivian’s range if you can. Hagen and Neko Shogun should use Hero’s Mark whenever possible. Again, focus on defending, protecting, healing and supporting each other. Stay out of the enemy's range and do not engage. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir!”

Our enemy turns out to be a giant multi-coloured eyeball with a red iris, and its only immunities are Fire Drain and Null Curse. That's actually better than I expected. It's even below Lilith’s level, and with Physical Repel and Force Repel on Purple Mirror, it at least won't get many extra hits in.

“You fools who stand in my way…” Ameno-sagiri says in a shuddering whisper. “I'll return you all to the fog!”

It casts Maragidyne twice in quick succession, and my team responds with Megidolaon and Holy Dance. Both take a chunk out despite the recovery from its reflected attack, and I heal us with Prayer. As soon as we're done, it uses a field attack called Nebula Oculus, decimating all demons below level forty. Their summoners barely survive, and the Heroes make it because of Hero’s Mark, but they can't keep that up. It's almighty type, too, and changes Ameno-sagiri’s resistance to ice and iris to blue.

Damn it.

“Anyone below level forty, retreat now. Go! The rest, heal as much as you can.”

While the others hurry to comply, Lilith heals Miyagi’s team with Mother’s Love before we engage. This time, all three of us use Drain after two rounds of Mabufudyne, and we make it out pretty close to full health and mana. Vivian lets us engage again, we get in another attack from reflecting Mabufudyne, and another boosted round of Holy Dance and Megidolaon gets it down to around half health. It immediately uses Nebula Oculus, switching to absorb electricity, and Yamato calls as we're healing.

“Half done, Chief. What about you?”

“Impressive. We're getting there. Call me when you’re close to the end.”

He hangs up, and I continue the fight, absorbing another chunk of health and mana. This seems to trigger some kind of change — it spins and groans, “Foolish humans… Your struggles are futile. Already you are headed for destruction!”

It closes up and obscures itself in fog then, and I can't engage, so I check on the others as we heal — we've lost another agent to the last Nebula Oculus, but the rest appear to have made it to safety. I'm more relieved than I should be, but with three down, I'm grateful to know that fourteen are going to make it. Another round of Nebula Oculus ends the fog to reveal our foe has recovered some health, now sports an iridescent iris, and I opt to heal Miyagi’s team — Vivian rewards me with a full heal once Aniel replenishes some of her mana, letting me take another chunk out of Ameno-sagiri who has now switched to three attacks in a pattern of Megidolaon-Mind Charge-Megidolaon and a complete set of resistances.

“Sir, my team’s out of mana.”

“Mine too.”

“All right. You two retreat as well.”

That only leaves Miyagi’s team. When Ameno-sagiri attacks my team, we Drain our health and mana back, then retaliate on our next attack before I call Yamato — the app tells me I’ve hit the last five percent or so.

“How's it looking, Chief?” I didn't realize how worried I was till he answered.

“Need you ask? How far along are you?”

“In the red. I think we're pretty close.”

“Hmph, reliable as always, Kuze.” Oh, thank goodness — that means he's surrounded by the others. “Can you end this in the next hit?”

“Yes.”

“Marvellous. We're ready. Do it.”

He hangs up without waiting for an answer, and I brace myself for the next Nebula Oculus. It hits harder than before as expected, and Miyagi barely survives. It's almost over though.

“Thank you, Miyagi. Go.” I have Lilith heal her while I heal my team personally. “I’ll finish this right away.”

“Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!”

She bows a little before starting to retreat as well, and I immediately turn to attack. As calculated, it goes down on Lilith’s Holy Dance, shaking heavily as it breaks.

“Fools, fools, fools… what… have you done…?” Its voice is different now, raspy yet distinctly feminine where it wasn't before. “We could have… remade our world… without her… Now you are doomed, doomed, doomed…”

Ameno-sagiri fades, and I’m glad the battle’s over with minimal casualties, but… that last message — by her, could it have meant Polaris? The thought chills me to the core, and though the night is quiet again, I feel no peace.

I don't even realize I haven't moved till my cellphone rings again, and I don't manage more than “Hey.”

Yamato still doesn't trust me yet; could we be running out of time already? Would Alcor not warn me if Polaris has decided? Could it be that he doesn't know?

“Excellent work as expected, Hibiki. It's over. I repeat, it’s over. The operation was a success. I've informed Sako to arrange decon. We will rendezvous at the branch in an hour for debriefing.”

“All right. See you.”

I relay the message to the others, and despite their relief, a sombre mood hangs over us. They've lost three colleagues so far, and an hour will tell how many more on the other front. I’m not even sure I want to find out — it feels like _I_ killed them by choosing them for this mission, and I don't even know how we explain being killed in the line of duty to relatives who think we work for the Meteorological Agency.

Sighing, I follow the others down the mountain, and as we round a corner on the steps, I see Alcor, but no one else seems to notice him. I stop, and he wraps his arms around me — I presume in greeting like he learned that time in the park.

“My apologies, Shining One, but it's the truth — I know not how much time you have. Still, for now, Polaris has not begun to move,” he whispers, and I lean into him, draw what comfort I can. “Shining One, I have given your earlier words some thought, and I promise you — when the time comes, I will aid you in any way that I can as long as you, too, seek to preserve mankind's liberty.”

“Thank you,” I whisper back. “I believed in you.”

And just as suddenly, he's gone before I can ask about Dera-Deka.

Honestly, I'm not sure I want to know anymore either.

I hurry down to join the others — Yamato is waiting for me.


	17. Shadow of the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting from my hotel in beautiful ancient Prague. I'm hoping you've been waiting impatiently, haha, and that you will enjoy this chapter. The boys make progress... maybe.

After debriefing over a light dinner, Yamato’s chauffeur drives us to our hotel in the hot spring district, and I try not to think about the eleven agents we lost today as they check us in. I'm glad our suite is even lovelier than in the photos — luxurious bed, plenty of space, a traditional hearth and our own private outdoor thermal bath. The inviting sight reminds me that I'm exhausted, and I start undressing as soon as we're alone — I can't wait to relax in the hot spring water.

To my surprise, Yamato soon joins me in the roomiest shower I've ever used, and I lean back when he wraps his arms around me.

"So distracting…" he purrs, his teeth catching my right earlobe as his body molds perfectly to mine, and that's always been all it takes.

"No more than usual, I expect," I say, turning to loop my arms around his neck with a smile.

Yamato shakes his head. "I've never thought about this with anyone else."

It's not what I meant, but the words go straight down. "Ever?"

"That's what I said."

He captures my lips then, presses me to the wall as I kiss back, and I gasp when our hips meet, vie for dominance with tongue and teeth. His hands take me apart, leave me feverish with need, and I cling to him under the warm spray, slide my knee up his thigh to hook my leg around him.

"Sometimes," I whisper by his ear, "you make me so happy."

"And other times?"

It is the sweetest pain, but I only say, "Other times, I wish I knew how to regain your trust. I only want you to be happy."

With a wistful smile, he kisses me again, lowering me to the tiled floor. Slick fingers slide in, and I cry out as pleasure sparks inside. He's found my sweet spot, and I gasp his name, toes curling as he works it. I'm going to come untouched if he keeps—

"A—ahn!"

I think my eyes rolled back as I spilled between us — a thrust of his fingers, and I climaxed helplessly. He's still rubbing into that spot, and I'm keening, trembling with a pleasure just this side of pain.

"That's my Hibiki." He smirks, wicked, knowing he's ruined that line for me forever. "Begging me to have my way with him."

"Y—Yamato… ngh…"

I catch his hand —it's crossed into painful— and roll us over to trail kisses down his torso. Swirling my tongue around a nipple, I roll the other between my thumb and forefinger, and he arches into me, fingers digging into my hips. I switch sides, and he moans my name as I suck and flick them — they're sensitive, I know, and he's getting close.

Heavens, I want him.

I take each nipple between two fingers and twist them as I mouth my way up his cock. It sounds silly and romanticized, but I love the taste of him, the softness of his skin, the smell of him mingled with the shower's clean water. He makes the filthiest sound, hips bucking, and I'm hard all over again.

"Yamato, I—"

"Do it," he groans, hooking his knees over my shoulders. "Hibiki, do it."

I take him into my mouth, moaning around him, and he quivers, whimpers my name. Caressing him with my tongue, I swallow him deeper, and he tips his head back with a loud whine. Yamato has always been loud, really — it could get awkward at JP’s if his room didn't have excellent sound-proofing. I pull off with an obscene pop, just the way he likes it, and mouth my way back behind his sacs. To my surprise, he shifts, turning and parting his legs to give me better access, and I lick into him — like I've always wanted, like I've always suspected he'd enjoy. His entire body spasms as his breath hitches sharply, and he makes that desperate little sound in the back of his throat that means he's close.

"H—Hibiki…"

I look up to meet his gaze, and it always gets me how beautiful he looks like this — fair skin rosy with passion, violet eyes dark with lust. There are crystalline droplets on his silver lashes now, and he seems torn between asking me to stop or continue.

"Please," he says at last, ambiguous, leaving it in my hands, and he's never let me decide before.

Gods, I'm so close, but I want to see.

I want to see him come undone for me.

Dipping my head, I trace his entrance with my tongue, press inside again, and he mewls, trembling, fluttering, slender fingers scrabbling for purchase on wet tiles.

I want him so much.

Running my hands up his inner thighs, I suck a mark into his flesh beside his entrance, and he lets out an utterly wrecked cry, hips jerking as he comes, and I rim him through his orgasm — till he's sobbing with pleasure, till he's shaking as he pulls me up by my hair to kiss me.

 _Oh Yamato_ — always so possessive. We've been leaving marks all over each other where no one else can see, and he loves them, retraces them whenever we are together. Mine are mostly on his hips and inner thigh; his are all over my back and shoulders.

The kiss is all it takes — I've been on the edge for so long. He milks me through it — till we're slumped on the floor together, the warm water washing away all trace of our activities. He's cradling me close, and I cling to him — I always feel stupidly in love when we're together.

Combing his fingers through my wet hair, he leans back to push it out of my face. "Like this, it almost looks like you're crying," he whispers, and I smile for him.

"Somewhere between 'you're so near, yet so far' and 'it feels like I just killed eleven people,' I'm having some trouble feeling happy, I'm afraid."

"Always so compassionate." He traces my lips with his thumb. "You should have said something."

I shake my head. "I want you. I want this."

"Yes…" He rubs the turn of my hip, comforting. "Hibiki, you did well today. It's not on you."

"Thank you." Sometimes, he can be so sweet — I know he doesn't particularly care about the eleven agents who failed.

He pulls me to my feet, and we finish showering. We don't shower together often, but every time we do, it ends up like this — I'm glad there is at least affection and desire, if not trust, between us. Leading him into the steaming pool outside through the cool night air, I wind an arm around him and recline to let the hot water drain away my weariness. The clear sky is dotted with stars when we look up, and I think of Polaris and the Septentriones again, how much time we have left. Beside me, with his arm around my waist, Yamato seems lost in thought as well. I wonder what he's thinking of — I wish I could read his mind and always know.

"Do you miss her?" I ask, a shot in the dark.

"Whom?"

"Your mother."

Yamato shakes his head. "We succeeded; she did not."

"And that changes how much you miss her?" I tease, grinning.

He gives me a look just this side of long-suffering. "Not as much as I used to." Looking away, he continues, "You saw the file. What it fails to mention is that my father was in charge at Yomotsu Hirasaka, and he was one of the six survivors she died to save." He frowns bitterly. "The man was a complete waste of my mother's life — mediocre at all but the sociopolitical aspects of the job, not to mention corrupt and materialistic, he ran JP’s into the ground as interim Chief after her, squandering the nation's resources, and everyone missed her terribly during those years. I had to get rid of him as soon as I was ready to take over and spent my first year on the job just fixing everything he'd broken."

"Get rid of"? Did he— Are we talking about patricide?

I don't ask — I'm not sure I want the clarification. Instead, I trace circles into his wrist and say, "We have each other."

"Yes…" Turning back to me, Yamato squeezes my waist. "You don't seem shocked."

"No." I peck him on the cheek. "You've always done what you believed was best for the world. Sometimes, those hard decisions seem cruel, but someone has to make them." _Sometimes, you're wrong about what's best, but someone has to prove that._

"That's my Hibiki," he murmurs, straddling my thighs, and if I weren't so spent, the memory alone would get me going.

_Damn it, Yamato._

"Always so wise."

I smile wryly, leaning up for the kiss. "I just… wish that someone didn't have to be you."

"And always so sweet," he breathes between kisses. "How long? How long will I have you?"

"Always," I promise, tracing the ridges of his spine under the water, and he relaxes into me. "If you'll let me."

If we can.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

The sunset over Lake Shinji is one of the country’s most beautiful, and the pleasure cruise is popular with locals and tourists alike. I contemplated booking a private one, but that wouldn't be a taste of normal life. Instead, we get a table and their Seven Delicacies dinner set to try all the local specialities while enjoying the view. We end up alone on the dinner deck anyway, so it's just as well.

There are some other passengers below, but we barely notice their hushed chatter over the crisp lake breeze and beautiful scenery, and it's a lovely ending to a day begun by watching the sunrise on the beach at dawn. We lay close on big, thick towels as the first rays of light sparkled over the crystal clear sea, and it was perfect. When it warmed a bit, I led him to the water's edge to let the waves rush over our feet in the soft sand, then I splashed him, and he went from annoyed to vengeful, splashing back. By the end of it, we were drenched and wrestling on the sand, so we had to go back to the hotel to change before lunch, but Yamato was laughing, so that's okay.

I shiver as a particularly chilly gust blows past, and Yamato asks if I'd like a jacket. I shake my head, snuggling closer, and he wraps an arm around me as he continues eating. Dinner is a variety of very fresh seafood prepared with delicate seasonings to accentuate the natural flavours, and everything is delicious. Yamato hasn't said anything though — perhaps he's used to these fine dinners.

"I hope you've enjoyed today," I say quietly — we spent the rest of the day exploring Matsue, shopping for local specialities and visiting local attractions.

Setting down his chopsticks, he says, "I have. Increasingly, I find I know so little about this world I've sworn to protect. I'm glad to broaden my horizons, and I truly appreciate your efforts to show me."

I cover his hand on the seat with my own. "Where else would you like to go?"

He falls silent, then "In that book you lent me," he says slowly, "there's a photo of a place in Iceland where the night sky lights up with rays of colourful light."

"The Northern Lights." I smile. "Yes. They're very beautiful."

"And in Bolivia, a place where the sky reflects perfectly on the water."

"The Salt Flats." I nod, squeezing his hand. "We should go see them together."

The words seem to take him by surprise, and in his eyes, I see hesitation — he can't leave the country; he doesn't take vacations; he's never wanted or needed any of these before, and he'd never admit that the last scares him.

Yamato closes his eyes, then "Someday," he tells me with sudden resolve, turning his hands to lace our fingers. "Someday, Hibiki, let us go together."

I'm so happy, I could cry — I throw my arms around him, and he returns the embrace before asking what the matter is.

Shaking my head, I tell him, "I'm so glad you want to, that's all."

It's more than a vacation plan, more than a promise — it's an acceptance that a future together is possible, a sign that we could have something lasting, _something real._

"Hahaha… You can be so easy to please. Here I thought I'd only just received some happy news for you."

Keeping him in a tight hug, I lean back a bit to look up — the sunset's warm light paints him in the loveliest gold. "Hm?"

"I've been asked to return home to deal with some clan affairs. Did you not wish to see the garden? You may come with me to Kyoto if you wish."

"Of course. I'd love to." I beam up at him, peck him on the lips. "I want to see the home you grew up in, and I hope you'll give me the tour, tell me about the estate, about you."

He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I don't see what there is to tell, but I will, if you wish."

I don't know what to say that wouldn't seem presumptuous, so I simply thank him and lean into his side to enjoy the rest of the dinner and cruise.


	18. A Bad Name

I've never known Yamato to avoid anything, but it's been over two weeks since he mentioned his trip home, and we have discussed little but work since. Things have quieted down since the battle at Shimane —there have only been a few minor operations since— but it's been an administrative nightmare replacing lost personnel. The six Special Forces agents that made it back shared their stories to mixed reactions. Either way, membership grows slowly and training proceeds as usual. Makoto reassigns some people while Fumi and I look for new talent, and Yamato says he'll take care of notifying the families that don't even have bodies to bury. I don't ask what lie we tell them.

In the meantime, the Diet has passed the bill to lower the minimum age for Representatives and Councillors respectively to twenty and twenty-five from twenty-five and thirty. The resignations and reshuffling, incidentally, removed many of the opponents to that move as well. This gives us two or three years to lay our groundwork, and if we play our cards right, in a few years after, we could be making some real change. There are other corrupt officials that need to go before that, but it's too early to make my next move now.

Rumour has it that the Opposition has taken to supporting the investigations and media coverage to ensure no one forgets the scandal, and Government approval ratings continue to fall. Meanwhile, the houses are also voting on more encouraging policies for children and maternity. Immigration has always been unpopular despite our growing demographic problem, so convincing couples to have more children is necessarily the way to go, and we need to be as generous as we can afford before it's too late.

Some of the measures involve the reallocation of funding under the budget, however, so not everyone is in favour, and when a particularly influential Representative offers to make his entire faction vote in favour of the bill in exchange for stealing a corporate secret for his brother's company, I agree with enough reluctance that he throws in a yes on the next bill as well: the one that will have some of the recent pro-war bills declared unconstitutional. It's a dangerous one, a slippery slope towards the vote of no confidence, and people are quick to jump sinking ships in this business. As usual, I don't have any guarantee he'll do it, so I tell him I'll keep my end of the bargain once he's kept his, and he agrees because I've never failed to deliver before.

Yamato seems to have warmed up to me a bit more since the operation at Shimane —I sense he still doesn't fully trust me, but he's come to terms with our relationship and is more openly affectionate in private— and I'm happy despite my worries. When we next visit the Nagoya branch, I bring Yamato along to Jungo's restaurant, and it's too crowded to talk as usual, but Jungo does manage to tell me how happy he is to see me here with a friend this time because "food is always better with friends." I'm glad Yamato likes the chawan mushi — between us, we eat a dozen cups with a variety of toppings.

"We're going tomorrow," Yamato says at last as we're spooning in his bed one Friday night.

I drop a kiss on his bare shoulder. "You don't want to?"

He sighs, shifting to lie on his back. "Clan affairs are tiresome. There's no way to resolve anything."

I wish he'd tell me more, but I know better than to press. "You don't have to show me around if you'll be too busy," I murmur, nuzzling into his neck.

"No, you should insist." He smirks, turning to face me. "They'll be too polite to keep you waiting."

Chuckling, I rub our noses. "How devious of you."

He pecks me on my lips with a laugh. "Aren't you one to talk."

I smile, drawing him closer — sometimes now, I can almost believe he never forgot.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

_Space swirls around in a kaleidoscope of images — glimpses of the past, glimpses of possibility. The others say their goodbyes, promising they won't forget, and I hope it's a promise they can keep, that they will each work towards changing the world in their own way._

_When it's finally Yamato’s turn, he simply asks, "Are you satisfied?" No goodbyes, no well-wishes, no sentiment — typical Yamato; he even has his arms crossed._

_"Not yet," I tell him. Gods, no, far from it._

_He laughs, finally cracking a smile. "That's a relief. I'd hate to think you'd be satisfied with so little."_

_I would be if he were happy, if he were with me, but I don't say that — he'd only misunderstand._

_"But I won't give up," he continues, uncrossing his arms, and I reach for his hand. He allows it, laces our fingers. "For your sake, I will watch over this world's restoration. Depending on what the future holds, I may again work for a merit system as your enemy."_

_Heh, I can't catch a break from this guy. "I hope not," I say with a chuckle. I really don't want to fight him again._

_His smile warms. "Indeed. As things stand, that is also my hope…"_

_"Wait." I pull him close before he can go, before the chaos can take him from me. "Don't forget me," I plead as I kiss him. "I don't want to do this without you."_

_For everyone else, it's enough for them to remember their purpose, to remember how much they've grown, but him—_

_Only Yamato, I wish, would remember me personally._

_Only Yamato, I wish, could love me and be happy._

_He kisses back with all the passion he showed last night, hands slipping under my clothes, and I cling to him as we melt into each other, savouring one last feel of skin on skin._

_"I won't," he promises between kisses. "But even if that promise proves impossible to keep… You are unlike any other, Hibiki. Find me and show me the world that you dream of."_

_"I will." I grip him tightly to me. I don't want to let go; I don't want him to forget. "I promise you, Yamato — we'll change the world together. I'll build a world where you will truly be happy, a world that's worthy of your sacrifice."_

_He cups my face in his hands. "Hibiki…"_

_There is such feeling in his eyes, and it looks like there's something more he wants to say, but then he too fades into the kaleidoscope, and I can only hold onto the memory of his warmth._

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

It's been a while since I was last in Kyoto, but it seems a lot nearer by JP’s private train than I remember. Yamato and I bring work along, of course, and we spend the train ride planning future operations, going over policies and reports, as well as discussing our position on Diet-related matters, and if we cuddle as we work… well, there's no one around to notice.

There are two people waiting on the platform for us, and Yamato grimaces when he sees the one not in a JP’s uniform — probably someone from his household. When the train brings us nearer, I recognise the agent as Yasuo, one of the twenty-eight that joined us at Shimane. I'm sure it's urgent —everyone's gotten the memo by now— and I hope there's nothing seriously wrong.

As soon as we alight, he salutes and says, "Chief, Vice Chief, good morning and welcome back. I'd like to report that we've detected some irregularities in the seal at Coordinate G and hereby request authorization to lead a summoner and technical team each to look into it."

"Granted," Yamato answers smoothly, ever cordial and businesslike. "Kuze, please make the arrangements. I will meet you outside."

"Of course."

As I turn to leave with Agent Yasuo, the unknown middle-aged man bows. "Welcome back, Master Yamato. Elder Yata asked me to send word that you are to join them for the clan meeting immediately."

Only a practiced eye would notice Yamato’s annoyance. "I have some urgent business to take care of in the office, Hakuo," he replies dismissively as he begins walking briskly in the direction of his office. "Tell him I'll be there shortly."

It's a whole hour of planning the details and logistics of the operation before I finally hurry to the exit to rejoin Yamato. Yasuo should be fine leading this one — it's nothing too major, fortunately. I still insisted he prepare an escape plan with one person on full support just in case and contact me in case anything goes awry, but I'm not expecting any problems.

As I walk through at once new yet familiar halls, I wonder if Yamato is still waiting, if he had to rush home for the meeting, but it seems I fretted for naught — Yamato is talking to several agents near his limousine when I step out into the heat of the unfettered noon sun and shade my eyes against the glare. The Kyoto branch is on a hill overlooking the surrounding city, and the ancient capital is every bit as grand as I remember. He turns as I approach and smiles while the other agents quickly bow in greeting.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," I tell him, tone serious but grin teasing — if only he remembered, it'd be our private joke by now.

"Don't say things you don't mean," he chides, but there's no heat in it — in truth, I'm sure he's glad for the delay. He extends his hand, and I take it. "Though it's true… you're the only one I'd be willing to wait for."

Same old Yamato — the agents look so awkward, and I snicker to defuse it. "Careful, Chief, that makes me sound like your fiancé." I'd like that very much, of course, but I doubt that's the impression he intended to make — otherwise, there wouldn't be any point in keeping up appearances before the rest of JP’s.

Something sparks in his eyes, but he turns away before I can decipher it. "Very funny, Kuze. Are you ready? We have work to do."

"Haha, of course." I let him lead me to the car.

Suddenly, a glint catches my eye, and pure reflex makes me shove him aside.

"Wh—"

Sharp pain erupts in my right shoulder, and I must have cried out because everyone starts shouting at once. Vaguely, I hear Yamato barking orders; vaguely, I realize the ground is fast approaching. Then Yamato’s gloved hands are pulling me close, and I stop falling, but next, he puts pressure on my shoulder, and I almost black out from the pain.

"Hibiki?" I make out — he seems so far away. "Hibiki, stay with me." He looks… scared, and that's just wrong — my powerful, fearless Yamato shouldn't be afraid, and I try to tell him so, but everything is fading into a numb gray.

"Ya…mato…"

"He's going into shock. You, help lift him."

It's warm in Yamato's arms, and I close my eyes.


	19. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

The beep and hum of machinery wakes me, and I blink up at an unfamiliar white ceiling. It's a hospital, maybe one under JP's. My body feels sluggish when I try to move, so I'm probably on analgesics or sedatives.

"Hibiki, you're awake."

Yamato comes over and gently pushes the hair out of my face. He's not wearing his gloves, but I remember him putting pressure on my shoulder, so "I ruined your gloves."

Shaking his head, he leans down and presses his lips to my brow. "You saved my life."

Thank Heavens. "I'm glad. What happened?"

"A sniper." He straightens. "It's been taken care of."

I struggle to focus — it's like his voice and lip movements are out of sync, like he’s talking through water. "Who?"

He shrugs, and I notice he isn't wearing his coat — has he been waiting here for me to wake up? "We don't know. He killed himself when he saw Cerberus. No matter, there are other ways to find out. How are you feeling?"

Even blinking seems to happen in slow motion. "Sluggish."

He covers my hand with his own and squeezes reassuringly. "I'm going to call the doctor."

"All right." I smile up at him. "I'll be all right."

"Of course. I'll make sure of it."

He leaves, it feels like I blink, then he's back with a doctor I don't know — not a JP’s facility then. She explains to us that the bullet has been completely removed, the scans indicate I'm in the clear, and it's just a matter of waiting for the wound to heal. Then a nurse enters to change the dressing on it, and Yamato grimaces at the sight.

As soon as they leave, he covers the bandages with his hands, and I feel warm energy suffuse me. What little ache I can feel through the haze of opiates recedes, but it's not like regular healing spells, so I’m guessing "You're using the Dragon Stream."

"I'm pleased the drugs have dulled only your physical faculties," he replies with an approving smile, sitting beside me on the bed.

"Thank you."

Violet eyes soften, and he gathers me into his arms, keeping one hand on my injured shoulder. "Don't be silly, Hibiki. I wouldn't let you suffer for protecting me. I owe you my life, and I have yet to repay you."

I shake my head as best I can. "Don't say that. You don't owe me anything. It's not like that. I love you. I wouldn't let you die if I can help it."

"You've allowed your compassion to become a liability," Yamato sighs, his fingers combing soothingly through my hair. "I remember, in Yoyogi Park, the night we met, you protected me as well — a needless gesture, but a noble intention. I don't think I ever thanked you. Hibiki, I…" His arms tighten around me. "I am grateful for what you have done, but I hope you will not lose your life for my sake. You are worth so much more to me alive." He kisses my temple — unusually affectionate. "You are my most valuable asset, Hibiki. My apologies for never telling you that."

I cling to him tightly with my uninjured arm — this is worth every pain. "Say that again."

"I—"

"No. When I'm not drugged. So I can't be imagining it."

Yamato laughs. "You really can be so silly. Can you walk?"

"With help, perhaps. It's only my shoulder that's injured, but I can barely feel the rest of my body either."

"Let's try. If you can walk, you should check out and rest in my house instead. You will receive much better care there."

He helps me stand, winds my uninjured arm around his neck, and supports me with an arm around my waist as I take several wobbly steps. He's probably half carrying me, but Yamato has always been much stronger than he looks. I nod in response to his questioning glance.

"Then let us be going."

It's a blur as he sits me down, first near the registration desk, then in his limousine. Then he's helping me out of the car into a huge old mansion and onto a futon in a large traditional room. As soon as he tucks me in, the world slips away again.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I wake alone in a room with the kind of ceiling I only see in ryokan and heritage buildings anymore, albeit with modern lighting. There's a traditional hearth in the tatami floor nearby, and the big futon I'm lying in is luxuriously warm and soft. It also smells of Yamato, and I bury my face in the pillows, inhale deeply of it, wishing he were beside me. As I move, I realize that my shoulder no longer hurts and that someone —Yamato himself, I hope— has also changed my clothes — I'm wearing a grey yukata with light blue geometric patterns.

I wonder where he is now, what time it is, how long I've been asleep. The dimly glowing embers in the hearth suggest it's been some time since the fire was first lit. Sitting up, I look around — the sunlight filtering through the shoji screens suggests it's probably close to midday, and the scroll in the alcove is a beautifully calligraphed verse of classical poetry.

Crawling to the door, I slide it open and am greeted by the sight of a beautiful garden. Carefully raked fine sand frames ornamental plant, stone and water features. All the trees, grass and hedges are perfectly trimmed. Natural stepping stones form a path between stone lanterns across a small stone bridge over a pond with a stone and bamboo cascade. As I'm admiring it on the wooden terrace, a young woman in a pale green yukata rounds the corner.

"Ah, Master Hibiki, it's good that you're awake. Master Yamato is still engaged with official clan meetings. Would you like some lunch?"

At the mention of lunch, I am suddenly famished. "Yes, please, if you don't mind. Should I follow you?"

"Oh, no, no, please, just wait here for a few moments. I'll bring it over."

She hurries away, and I continue taking in my surroundings. Across the bridge, in a corner by the exterior wall, there is a small stone gazebo nestled under a willow tree, and all the leaves that change in the garden are arrayed in their autumn colours, colourful despite the lack of flowers. The stone lanterns will perhaps be lit later in the evening to provide some illumination, and I'm sure it'll be a lovely view as well.

The brunette returns shortly with three large stacked trays, and I hurry to open the room doors wider for her. She thanks me and sets the trays down by the hearth on their stands.

"W—wow," I blurt when I see what she's brought — it's fine dining gourmet lunch in ten courses, and she introduces each dish while rearranging them with a practiced hand.

There's a pot of miso soup with snow crab legs in it —she lights a tealight below it to keep it warm— and a bowl of ox tongue stewed with radish next to a bowl of chicken steamed with assorted mushrooms in plum wine. In the front row, there's swordfish grilled with yuzu wasabi, seven spice crusted tofu and roasted shrimp marinated in mirin blended with perilla leaves. On the next tray, there's an assortment of thinly sliced raw shellfish displayed on a big plate, a small dish of homemade pickles and a mixed seaweed salad garnished with tempura whitebait.

Finally, she indicates a long platter in the back with an assortment of wagashi. "Master Yamato told us to make sure we brought you extra dessert."

Word of his thoughtfulness brings a smile to my face, but I'm still flabbergasted by lunch. "I— Um... Wow. Thank you. This is… a lot more lavish than I was expecting. Does he eat like this all the time?

"Per the Hotsuin clan's tradition, we always ensure that Master Yamato's meals are customised to fulfill his specific dietary needs as it is vital that he remains in perfect health at all times." She bows, head to the floor. "My name is Harue, and I'm one of the household staff. Please let me or anyone else know if you need anything at all. Master Yamato tells us that it is your sacrifice that has kept him alive, and we are thus greatly indebted to you, Master Hibiki. Without Master Yamato, we would not be who or where we are today."

"I see… Yamato is indeed a great leader." I sit before the food as Harue scoops me some rice seasoned with sesame seeds and pours me some barley tea from pots on a third tray. "But more than that, he is a very dear friend whom I would be deeply saddened to lose. You needn't thank me."

"Ah… My father would be so glad. He greatly laments how lonely Master Yamato has always been, even while his parents were alive."

Of that I have no doubt, but "Your father?"

"My father is Hakuo Hisahide, the estate manager here, and our family takes care of this house. You must have met my brother, Nagahide, Master Yamato's chauffeur. The Hakuo family is a branch house of the Hotsuin clan that has little to no spiritual power, so most of us have worked to support their duty to this nation for generations. In the past, we were administrators, astrologers and archivists — some of us still are. My parents and grandparents served our late Mistress Kiyoko, Master Yamato's mother, and her father before her. My four siblings and I grew up here, and we will continue to serve Master Yamato, perhaps his successor as well."

Ah, so the middle-aged man on the platform yesterday is Harue's father. "I see. Could you tell me more about the house and room?"

"Certainly. The Hotsuin clan's main house has lived on this estate since they first settled in Heian-kyo. Before that, they were missionaries to Tang dynasty China and lived there for generations, bringing back the cultural and technological elements that would come to be greatly prized in the Heian era later. After they rose to the height of their power, they expanded the house and grounds to its present size, and it has been refurbished and restored many times since. Master Yamato was born here, and this is where he lived until he moved to Osaka after becoming Chief of JP's."

I begin eating, and the food is exquisite — if they make him nutrient compounds, I'm relieved to know they are at least delicious ones. "This is one of the guest rooms then?"

Harue shakes her head. "This is Master Yamato’s room — he insisted." She smiles, a bit bashful.

I bet she at least suspects we're more than friends — Yamato and Alcor tend to give people that impression whether or not it's true. Again, I wonder who the teacher and student was between them.

"He wouldn't leave your side or let anyone else tend to you since he brought you here yesterday evening, and he was very reluctant to attend the clan meeting this morning before you woke up too."

I can't help the goofy smile that threatens to split my face, so I conceal it with my rice bowl.

"Oh, but I've digressed! Um…" Flustered by the sliver of indiscretion, she searches the room for something to talk about. "The calligraphy in the alcove is a poem by Sugawara no Michizane and was made by Mistress Kiyoko, a wise lady that everyone here deeply loved and respected. My mother says Master Yamato is very much like her at heart. What else…? Ah, as you can see, there is a phone by the flasks and cups on that corner table. If you don't see any of us, you can just dial seven to call our wing of the house for assistance. The door in the back leads to the bath, and Master Yamato says you may use any of the clothes in these cupboards."

Just then, I hear the approaching sound of brisk footsteps I'd recognise anywhere. "You said he's awoken?" Yamato's voice carries down the hallway.

"Y—yes! Harue just brought him lunch," says another girl behind him as they reach the door, and Yamato stops.

Our eyes meet, and I barely notice Harue and the other girl excusing themselves. There is such _relief_ in his gaze, and it's been a while since I felt so cherished.

"You slept all day and all night. I worried your condition had somehow worsened." He shuts the door before coming to sit beside me. "How are you feeling, Hibiki?"

"Quite well, actually. Thanks to you, it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Show me."

He doesn't wait for an answer, just pushes the yukata out of the way, and I don't resist — I’ve grown accustomed to him undressing me by now. There's not even a scar where the wound used to be, just a spot of newly healed flesh — a bit pink, a little tender. Yamato kisses it almost reverently, mouths his way up to my lips, and he's been so different since I woke up in the hospital yesterday — it's like a dream.

"If you're always like this afterwards, I should get shot more often," I tease when we part — I could get used to this.

In a flash, he has me pinned to the floor, violet eyes narrow. "Don't you dare, Kuze Hibiki. You're mine. No one else is allowed to lay a finger on you."

Reason suggests I should be concerned about his increasingly possessive behaviour, but in reality, the only emotion it stirs in me is desire. I cover his hands with my own, lick my suddenly dry lips. "Are the meetings over?"

Shaking his head, he sighs, letting go. "We broke for lunch."

"Then eat with me." I sit up and draw him closer. "Miss Harue brought enough food for three."

He accepts the mouthful of shrimp and rice I offer him, rearranging my yukata. "I'll show you around when they end."

With an appreciative smile, I feed him some fish. "How are they going so far?"

"Worse than the Diet. My wasted time will accomplish nothing."

Frowning, I ask, "They're less condescending, at least?"

Yamato inclines his head in agreement, and we finish the food, though he leaves all the dessert for me.

"It's time to resume the meeting, unfortunately." He stands, kissing my forehead. "Rest till I return, Hibiki. I can heal your wounds, but you must recover your strength. I'll have one of the family physicians come to see you as well."

I smile up at him, my hold lingering on his arms. "All right. I'll bathe and change then."

His Look conveys that he would much rather bathe with me than return to the meeting, and Yamato has always put work before pleasure, so I can imagine how pointless those meetings must seem. I run my fingertips over the inside of his wrist, then squeeze his hand before letting go, and he smiles warmly as he leaves.

There's no particular theme to the clothes in the cupboard other than that they're all finely tailored and presentable. There's a shelf of formal kimonos, hakamas embroidered with dragon motifs and haoris with the Hotsuin clan's crest on them just like the set Yamato was wearing earlier for official clan functions. Another shelf is all western formal clothing in various styles, then there are cotton yukatas for warm weather, wool ones for cold days like today; a mix of formal and casual haoris, kimonos and hakamas; less formal collared shirts, slacks, sweaters, and a shelf of what look to be ritual garments. He doesn't have any truly casual clothing, and I doubt Yamato chose any of these — he wouldn't concern himself with such things.

As expected, the underwear drawer is equally plain, and I wonder if he'd wear something sexier if I bought it for him… I should hold that thought for when he gets back.

Shutting the drawer, I grab a blue wool yukata and head to the bath. It's also traditional, and I probably spend too long inside because the hot water is so relaxing, but I'm a bit embarrassed to find the physician waiting outside when I return. As it turns out, he specialises in traditional medicine — Yamato called him to restore my health now that the injury has been dealt with. He examines me, then sends his assistant to prepare some herbal tonic for me while he stretches my body out and does some shiatsu and acupuncture.

It's incredibly painful in some places, and the restorative they give me is at once bitter and strange-tasting. Knowingly, his assistant offers me a delicious piece of wagashi when I've finished the drink, but I'm exhausted all over again.

They've scarcely left when I fall back asleep.


	20. Ice & Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving weekend! Yamato and Hibiki may be busy thanking each other, but I'm grateful for your continued support, and I'm sure Alcor would love to hear all about your human customs. I wish you a wonderful holiday and hope you will continue to enjoy the story. ♥

_As I wander through Osaka, perpending a countermeasure for Benetnasch, I find Yamato at Ebisu Bridge again, this time with some remnants of JP’s. As I approach, I hear them begging him to lead them again, and I understand their fanaticism. Yamato is so accomplished, after all, a shining example, and true to his ideals, he’s always fair — the only thing that matters is your work performance. You don’t have to be normative, conformist or socially acceptable; there’s never any discrimination, sentiment bias or nepotism — completely equal opportunity for anyone that can produce results._

_It’s sad to hear him say that the world no longer needs JP’s —or him— though, that his only remaining purpose is to help realize and then watch over the world I will create to make sure it is a good one._

_He couldn’t be more wrong._

_As he starts to walk away, I catch his arm._

_And I know. I know the timing is all wrong. I know I need to focus on this countermeasure, but…_

_I_ have _to know — now that we’re past the time for games, how much of what we shared was real?_

_“You know,” I swallow thickly, keeping my tone light. “The part I liked best about your idea was having a place by your side as an equal. Does ruling your ideal world absolutely have to be a prerequisite?”_

_Chuckling, he turns to face me. “If you’d asked me before, I would have said yes, but now… I lost, Hibiki. You defeated me in fair combat. I am hardly your equal.”_

_I shake my head. “No, you’ve always been the better of us. Maybe I’m good at this, but I could never have lived your life or done half the things you did half as well as you have. And you’re wrong, you know.” I step closer, searching his gaze. “I will need you more than ever after we’ve met Polaris. Last week, I was just an ordinary civilian. What do I really know about rebuilding or changing the world? All I have is a vision and the potential to actuate it, but it is your experience that will get me there, Yamato. I could never do it without you.” I can’t tell what he’s thinking, if he believes me, if it matters, but there’s no more time. I reach up to cup his cheek, let my longing show. “And even if I could, I don’t want to.”_

_Ducking his head, he covers my hand on his cheek with his own. “Ha… Well done, Hibiki. I see how you have everyone wrapped around your little finger.”_

_“What about you?" Just now, he spoke of yearning. "You belong with me, Yamato,” I echo his earlier words. “It is not merely your strength I yearn for.”_

_Violet eyes flick back up to mine as he leans into the touch. There’s a fire in them now, an undefined desire, and I want him. I want_ all _of him._

_“No,” he says softly, “it doesn’t have to be a prerequisite. I'm happy you still welcome me as an equal."_

_I take a second —my heart skips a beat— but then I’m closing the distance between us. I hug him because we’ll be making out right here if I kiss him now. I don’t know what to say — I’m so happy my eyes are stinging. He returns the embrace with matching intensity, and it’s perfect — like all the right pieces have finally clicked into the empty spaces of my life’s jigsaw._

_“Thank you,” I whisper, and he shakes his head._

_“I truly do appreciate you coming for me."_

_Over his shoulder, I look out on Dōtonbori’s empty streets, and it’s as surreal as a deserted Shibuya. How many times, I wonder, has Yamato crossed this bridge, dismissing his curiosity about the lively crowd as yet more civilian frivolity?_

_“Before this, have you ever been there?”_

_He leans back to see where I’m pointing. “No. What reason would I have to go?”_

_With a laugh, I ask, “Will you come with me when this is over?”_

_“Ha… It’s my loss. I bow to your wishes.”_

_“No." I grip his shoulders, looking earnestly into his eyes. "As my equal. It's only worthwhile if it's also what you want."_

_He smiles with rare warmth. "It is. I want to know you, Hibiki, see the world more like you do. Perhaps, that way, I will find what sets you apart and improve myself."_

_“Heh, every time you say something romantic, you find some way to ruin it.” I pull him close again, nuzzle his neck and breathe in the scent of his skin. “It’s a date then.”_

_“That won’t be possible if we don’t find a countermeasure for today's Septentrione.”_

Ugh, another mood ruiner.

_He pulls away and steps back. “I’ll check our archives for any possibilities. You know where to find me.”_

_His gaze lingers for a few moments before he walks away, and I watch him go until I can no longer see him. I really need to figure out this countermeasure, but I can barely think right now — it’s like my heart is filled to bursting, like my feet won’t touch the ground._

_Maybe Fumi can help me — she never stops thinking at genius level._

_Decided, I hurry to go find her._

_I can’t even keep the spring out of my step._

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When I wake, Yamato is lying beside me, radiating the bath's humid warmth and smelling of fresh cologne. He's changed into a wool yukata, his usual dark grey, and he always looks so good in traditional wear. I feel as good as new, too, so I'll count my earlier agony worthwhile.

"You should be more careful," he chides, frowning. "Anyone could have come and killed you in your sleep."

It's not something I've had to worry about before, and I suppose it was naïve of me not to see this coming — we're playing a dangerous game, after all.

"I'll be more alert," I agree, shifting closer.

Yamato sighs, resigned. "You were raised a civilian, after all. I shouldn't expect that of you."

I shake my head. "No, you're right. I'm grateful for the reminder. Did you find out who was behind it?"

He grimaces, folding me into his arms. "No news yet from Sako's investigation, and I haven't had the time to look into it personally."

I sit up, and he accommodates. "Let me try."

I call the angels I've planted and have them report their findings as usual, noting any interesting developments. It's not long before I get a hit. Unsurprisingly, it's the former Defense Minister, now facing legal proceedings and bitter about the role we played in his downfall — he thinks the journalists and detectives started digging up his dirt because they were outraged by the "conscription letters" they and their friends received thanks to our filtering "snafu," so he called in a favour with the Yakuza.

Well, I'm glad he hasn’t figured out I was directly responsible — he might try harder.

"That's my Hibiki," Yamato murmurs by my ear, and I groan. "Reliable as always."

I lean into him. "Now you're just teasing."

He smirks. "I learned from the best. It's late, so we'll do the tour tomorrow. I've asked the kitchen to prepare a simple dinner in the garden's gazebo. Would you like to eat now?"

I grin — Harue must have told him I was admiring it earlier. "Only if you're joining me."

"Of course." He goes to the cupboard and fetches a wool haori and a pair of thick tabi socks for each of us. "Put this on. It's cold outside."

Obediently, I wear them before slipping on clogs at the terrace and letting him lead me to the gazebo. The stone lanterns have been lit — they cast a soft, warm light over the garden, and as we cross the bridge, I see fish swimming languidly in the pond below. The half-bare reddish branches of the willow tree seem to embrace the gazebo's cold grey stone, and paper lanterns have been hung up to provide additional light. Inside, there are cushions for us to sit on, blankets in case we're cold, and the kitchen's idea of a "simple dinner" is seafood hotpot, the likes of which most people save up to eat on special occasions.

"You're spoiling me," I tell him as I drop some vegetables and half a snow crab into the boiling broth.

"Returning a favour," he corrects, adding a small lobster.

"So you're saying I've spoiled you?"

An arm snakes around my waist to pull me up against him. "On a daily basis." He nuzzles my neck, noses up my jaw to nip at my earlobe. "With you, I feel like anything is possible."

A dangerous, dangerous line of thought coming from Yamato, but I only bury one hand in his hair and tilt my head back for him to mouth his way down my throat.

"With you, I feel like lifting this broken world out of its chaos and corruption is so close within reach. When the truly worthy are the leaders as they should be, oppression and underhandedness need hold no more sway over mankind, and we can focus on creating true progress by valuing the meritorious contributions of every individual."

I need to reframe his thinking every chance I get.

To my surprise, he pulls away to start fishing our food out of the pot. "Seventeen years, and only one of you, Hibiki," he sighs. "The thought makes me dread the coming days."

It's suddenly cold, and I warm my hands near the portable stove before picking up my chopsticks. I have a good guess, but I still ask, "What do you mean?"

He shells his lobster with professional precision. "The elders wish to start short-listing candidates for my wife, meaning I must meet each eligible woman they've selected to evaluate the best match. I am inclined to refuse — the marriage is scheduled six months after my twentieth birthday. It's too early to be wasting my time with such tedious matters. Moreover, seeing as these fossils also short-listed my father, I consider their judgment dubious at best."

I crack open my piece of snow crab with somewhat less finesse. "Where are they short-listing from?"

"Traditionally, the Hotsuin clan only marries two kinds of people: the politically connected to strengthen our position or the spiritually powerful to strengthen our abilities." He adds shrimps and clams to the pot. "That means they'll be looking through the extended Imperial family, the families of Diet members, the personnel at JP’s, and other established summoner clans like the Kuzunoha, the Abe and the Ashiya." Scooping some mushrooms and vegetables into each of our bowls, he continues, "Given that my mother's choice was politically connected, I will be strongly encouraged to choose spiritually powerful. The dreary part is that I've met most of the people in that category, and not one of them is even half as interesting, powerful or wise as you are, so I care not which the elders choose." He scoffs as he cooks several slices of fish. "Perhaps I should tell them I will marry any woman of their choice that would die for me."

"Heh." I help myself to some clams and shrimp. "You know I'm happy to hear you say you're reluctant for my sake, but you should probably take more interest in the future mother of your heir." The words roll awkwardly off my tongue, and I drink some soup to wash away their aftertaste.

Yamato stills. "My apologies. It is callous of me to discuss this with you."

I shake my head, dropping a lobster and some tofu into the pot. "I know what I signed up for. Of course I'd love to have you to myself, but not at the cost of there not being someone like you to protect the world in the future. That's important, and I don't mean just for the world — most of all, that's important to you, isn't it?"

He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, and I set my chopsticks down, turning to face him as he cups my cheek. There is such feeling in his eyes when he says, "Hibiki, _nothing_ has to change between us."

Covering his hand with my own, I press it into my skin and chuckle half-heartedly, my eyes prickling. "Then I suggest you choose someone like Fumi."

He blinks. "Kanno? Why?"

Giggling at his confusion, "You mean, aside from adding her genius and high spiritual power to the gene pool?" I turn serious. "She wouldn't expect you to love her."

"Hmph." He suddenly pulls me close with a hand on the small of my back — brow to brow, eye to eye, noses side by side, lips ghosting over the corner of mine, he traces my features with his fingertips, and I close my eyes to savour it, leaning into his touch. "Ah, Hibiki…" he breathes, longing. "My wise and talented, powerful and compassionate Hibiki... My most valuable asset."

Gods, I've missed this.

I've missed being sure that he loves me.

"I've missed you," I whisper, choking on emotion as I cling to him tightly. "I've missed you so much."

And he doesn't say it's only been a few hours, doesn't say he never left, just smiles into my cheek like he understands.

He lifts me into his lap, and "At this rate, we're not going to make it through dinner."

"Your fault," he agrees, kissing me at last, and I'm forced to concur — to hell with everything else, I want him now. But then he's pulling away with a last nip to my bottom lip. "But no, you need to eat. You're still recovering."

I thunk my head on the stone pillar behind him. "You really are the worst."

"If you don't eat well, you won't have the nutrients and energy to recover completely. That will only interfere with our future plans. Am I wrong?"

Sighing, I take my seat and resume eating. "Every time you say something romantic, you find some way to ruin it."

"Impatient, aren't we?" He winds one arm around my waist and continues eating with the other. "You needn't be hasty."

"You know, in hindsight," I cook some fish slices for us both, "we probably shouldn't anyway."

Violet eyes narrow. "Why not?"

I giggle slyly. "Because the walls are thin, and you're a screamer...ack!" I yelp as his hand dips between the folds of my yukata to grope me.

"You're one to talk. Hibiki, are you not...?"

With a coquettish grin, I tell him, "The more convenient, don't you agree?"

He groans, "Finish your dinner."

"Yes, Chief~"

Together, we finish the rest of the seafood, vegetables and noodles, then he's running his hand up my thigh, and it's fever-hot even in the near-winter air.

"Yamato—"

He silences me with a kiss, strokes me in sync with the slide of his tongue on mine, and I moan as blood rushes down, catching his hand.

"Damn it, Yamato. I thought we weren't going to let the entire mansion know w—"

"Let them." He lifts me, carries me back to his room and lays me on the futon. "I don't care, Hibiki." He marks a trail with teeth and tongue from the back of my ear to my chest as he unties the sash on my yukata, and I writhe beneath him, tilt my head to give him better access. "Let the elders and the ancestors hear."

He hasn't even shut the door, but he's rocking his hips into mine, and I don't care, I don't care anymore — I want him, I need him. I pull him into another kiss as he shrugs out of his clothes to slide skin on skin, and he plunders my mouth with new intensity — in the clash of our teeth, in the twining of our tongues, there's a _hunger_ that's never been there before, and I can't get enough.

"Hibiki."

He presses his forehead to mine, and my eyes snap to his.

Oh gods, I have him. _I have him._

This is more than what I wanted, more than what we had. Finally, he's truly mine, and it's not the touch of his hand or the roll of his hips that leaves me hard as nails and trembling on the edge.

"Hibiki," he says again, nipping at my lips, and I can only cling to him and kiss back, fingers digging into his shoulders. I'm transfixed — the heat of his gaze burns to my soul, and I can barely breathe. "Let them know — another may carry on our bloodline, but only you are fit to rule beside me."

I cry out — but climax leaves me half hard.

"Swear it, Hibiki," he breathes over my lips, and I whimper helplessly. "Not to any god. Swear it to _me._ Swear you'll always be mine, only mine."

Gods, "Yes!" I arch up into him, take his face in my shaking hands. "Yes, Yamato, it's all I've ever wanted."

I kiss him, try to convey everything I feel — my heart could burst, I love him so much. Our hands drag over skin as we roll over, trying to press closer, as if to melt into one as we were meant to be.

"Take me," he gasps when we part for air, pressing a bottle of oil into my hands, and I shiver. "Hibiki, I want you inside."

I couldn't refuse him if I tried.

He writhes, back arching off the futon as I open him, and I lace our fingers with my free hand. His toes curl, his breath hitches, his grip on my hand tightening as I caress that place inside, and he barely notices another digit. He mewls when I stroke it again, hips bucking, and I think he's ready.

I don't know if I am — it seems almost unreal, and I'm afraid I'll wake up from this dream.

Still, teasing his nipples with my tongue, I press in, and he whimpers, eyes squeezed shut — he's never been so beautiful. I groan his name —he's still so tight— and he's quivering, biting his lip; I hope I haven't hurt him.

"Does it hurt?" I ask when I'm fully in.

He shakes his head, eyes half-lidded. "I—I'm almost—"

"Please." I kiss the imprints of his teeth away as I move, and he cries out like I've ruined him. Heh, "you've ruined me, Yamato, you've ruined me," for sure. "Say you'll never leave."

He makes that desperate little sound in the back of his throat, locking his arms and legs around me to pull me deeper in, then he's screaming my name as he comes.

I see stars — orgasm hit harder than it ever has, and we're holding on to each other still, my face buried in the crook of his neck. It feels like I'm drowning, and I never want to surface. This is perfection — if the world ended at this moment, I might be content.

Yamato cradles me close, rubs soothing circles into my scalp, and it's too easy to relax into sleep. "Hibiki, my Hibiki," he whispers — as usual, he's barely even winded. "Not even death will be allowed to take you from me," he vows, and I drift off, at peace.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Sweet music wakes me, and I roll over to find Yamato dressed and on the terrace, playing the ryuuteki in the early morning light.

It shouldn't be so beautiful, so sexy.

It's silly how I'm almost jealous of the flute.

He turns, and I smile — he doesn't stop playing, but his eyes brim with affection. The soothing melody seems somehow romantic, and I pray that every day could be just like this — happy, idyllic, with Yamato content at my side.

As he turns back to the garden, I reach for my phone. I should check for work updates — a lot can happen in two days. I am greeted by an incredible number of "get well soon" and "I'm so glad you're okay" messages from JP’s staff, as well as an e-mail from Makoto telling me she's taken care of some of the more urgent matters for me. I send her a thank you, saying I should be back to work soon, most likely tomorrow. This is already a longer "vacation" than Yamato is used to.

I'll be back at the Diet too, so I look up what's happened there when a news headline stops me cold.

My free hand flies to my mouth to silence the sound of horror.

Former Defense Minister Found Dead.

The article says he is suspected to have died in his sleep from a heart attack pending autopsy results, but I know. I know better. I don't even need incriminating details like his face frozen in a look of terror.

I glance at Yamato, still playing the flute as if all is right with the world.

This is my fault. I caused this. I never should have told him.

I squeeze my eyes shut, bite my lip to hold back the tears and cocoon myself in the blankets to hide.

Another man is dead because of me, because of what I've done, and it didn't have to end this way — he was already going to prison.

The music stops, and Yamato approaches, "Hibiki, what's wrong?"

"It's just… cold," I whisper, not trusting my voice.

It's too late. It's too late to talk about this, and he'd only say I'm too soft. And he's right, I tell myself. We can't risk the man trying again. Everything that led to this was necessary. Sacrifices have to be made.

Yamato slides in beside me and draws me into his arms. "You're shivering."

"Y—yeah…"

I turn, entwine our arms and legs, and bury my face in his yukata as he pulls the blankets more snugly around us both.

It has to be worth it. We have to succeed. All these deaths have to mean something.

I hold Yamato tightly and close my eyes.


	21. The Sweetest Dream Would Never Do

The Hotsuin estate is huge, divided into four wings and surrounded by gardens and courtyards, all encircled by a high wall. I don't know if the entire mansion heard us last night, but Yamato leading me around on a tour of the house with an arm around my waist is enough to have everyone we meet awkwardly averting their eyes to give us privacy.

Yamato's room is in the west wing, and he shows me the rest of it — his parents' room now a workspace with a computer and television screens displaying live feeds from JP's, the courtyard and gym he used for physical activities, a tearoom, a room for music practice, as well as the large library and study he was homeschooled in with a beautiful wooden chess set on a small table for two.

"You told me once that you completed a college-level education at a very young age." I run my fingers over the finely carved chess pieces. "What was that like exactly?"

"I'd study one subject or several at a time from the basics to advanced material, and a visiting expert would stay in one of the guest rooms for several months, answering my questions and recommending further reading."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Learning? Of course."

"What else did you do?"

"I received instruction in hand-to-hand combat, fencing, shooting and archery. Between subjects, I studied battlefield tactics and war strategies."

I'm torn between admiration and horror — his childhood sounds like a super soldier programme from an anime.

"And who did you play chess with?" I ask, wondering if he'll tell me about Alcor now.

"A very good chess player visited occasionally," he answers, truthful yet oblique, and I don't press.

The east wing is for guests, where the elders stayed until they left this morning. As the name implies, the elders are the most senior surviving members of the clan's main and branch houses, along with representatives from affiliate clans like the Kuzunoha. They often meet to confer on inter-clan affairs and supernatural phenomena affecting Japan.

The south wing, closest to the entrance, is where the household staff live and work. There are living rooms, a large kitchen and pantry, storerooms for equipment, a sizable laundry area and a first aid room. Mister Hakuo introduces his wife, Suzuya, his son, Nagahide, and his four daughters, Harue, Natsumi, Akiha and Fuyuri. They also have a chef, Yuuta, and a gardener, Kenji. I imagine Yamato must somehow earn a very high income to maintain this house and pay everyone's salaries, but the Hotsuin clan must have amassed plenty of wealth over the years, and JP's pays very well for the risks we take.

The north wing is the largest, reserved for official clan functions and rituals, and Yamato hesitates before entering — outsiders aren't allowed in except to participate in rituals. There are meeting halls, warded rooms for summoning, a library, warded storage rooms for ritual objects and mystical artifacts, a memorial hall filled with memorial plaques of his ancestors, as well as steps leading to an observatory on elevated ground with telescopes and a glass roof for observing astronomical phenomena.

In one of the courtyards, there's a familiar-looking magic circle "Just like the one below the Tokyo Metropolitan Government building…"

"I thought as much," Yamato says with a smirk. "It seems there are few secrets left between us."

I smile wryly. "Facing the end of the world, we had little time for secrets. But I'm thankful." I turn to face him fully, loop my arms around his neck. "It gave me the chance to know you, to love you. And I appreciate your willingness to share this with me now."

With a laugh, he tilts his head to drop a kiss on my inner arm. "You are hardly an outsider, Hibiki. Or are we pretending you don't already know my best kept secrets?"

I can't help a teasing chuckle as I step closer. "I don't know, Yamato. Do I? Tell me all of them, and I'll point out the ones I knew beforehand."

"Hmph." He leans in for the kiss, smirking. "You’ll have to do much better than that."

"Oh, I know."

Our lips meet, and here, before the threshold of his family's memorial hall, it feels like a sacrament. "I love you," I whisper in a shared breath, and he tells me, "I know, Hibiki, I _know_ ," with a certainty I've waited too long to hear.

Eventually, he leads me back to the central waiting area where there are tables, chairs and ornamental display pieces for receiving and entertaining visitors.

"I kept my word and gave you the tour, but now we must be going. We've wasted too much time here."

"Of course. You don't have such a thing as free time."

Violet eyes cut to me at my teasing tone, and I kiss his cheek placatingly.

"Thank you for staying with me. I'll do my best to help with all the work that's piled up in your absence."

Yamato sighs as we walk back to his room. "I've increased security, but you need to be more careful, Hibiki. Don't waste your potential."

"I will. I'm sorry for worrying you."

He looks at me, opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again, conflicted — he's never worried for an individual before, never feared losing anyone or anything, because he's always been alone. He only had his duty, and he's always been good at that. Now that he truly cares for me as more than just a means to an end, he's probably wrestling with the irrational desire to never let me out of his sight.

In the end, he only says, "Your uniform was ruined. I had a new one brought for you."

"Thank you," I tell him with a hug. "I'll be careful, I promise. They were aiming for you, you know? It's you I'm worried for."

"Don't," he says as he returns the embrace. "Of course I'll protect us both."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Makoto is waiting on the platform when we arrive in Tokyo, and Yamato's frown says, "You too?"

She bows in greeting, then hands him a dossier. "Welcome back, Chief; Kuze." She nods at me before turning back to Yamato as we start walking together. "The documents you requested, sir. I was about to take them to your office when I heard you'd arrived."

He flips through. "Good work, Sako."

"Thank you, sir."

Makoto proceeds to brief me on what she's taken care of and what remains outstanding till we arrive at the junction.

Yamato turns to me. "Well then, I'll see you tonight?"

I don't know that we have any plans tonight, but he looks so reluctant to part with me despite his usual cordial tone.

I offer him my most reassuring smile. "Of course."

He still hesitates a beat before leaving, and I watch him go for a few seconds before heading the other way with Makoto.

"Thank you for covering for me while I was away, Miss Makoto. I'll head down to Okinawa for the operation right away." And bring some local specialities back for Yamato.

"I—I'm glad I could be of assistance. Perhaps you should assign someone else to Okinawa," she suggests. "You've only just recovered, after all."

"Ha… You know our Chief. He doesn't do anything by halves. He micro-managed everything from my medical treatments to my diet. I think I'm healthier now than before I was shot."

It's almost the truth, and it gets a laugh out of her.

"That's good to hear." Suddenly, she stops in the empty corridor, and I turn to ask what's the matter, only to find her looking like there's something she's hesitating to say. She opens her mouth, closes it, then finally, "Kuze, permission to discuss something personal?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Of course. Go on."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, then bows deeply. "I'd like to express my deep gratitude for what you did in Kyoto. JP’s would be lost without Chief Hotsuin, and I with it. JP's gave me purpose — without it, I might still be lying depressed in a hospital somewhere…" She straightens, laughing it off. "Is that surprising?"

I laugh along. "It's more surprising to hear that you used to be a synchronised swimmer. You never seemed the type."

Her eyes widen. "Did I mention that before?"

 _Oh, oops._ "Didn't you?" I feign confusion. "I can't imagine where else I would have heard…"

"Hmm… Nevertheless, it is the truth. I didn't know what to do with myself after the accident, and I might have remained at a loss if JP’s hadn't scouted me. They even helped pay for my medical bills. I am greatly indebted to them. That's why I am also relieved to hear you are well. JP's is a much better organization today than it was when I joined, and I believe your changes have a lot to do with that. I… used to question some of our decisions and policies. They…" She trails off, searching for the right words.

"They weren't always in line with your personal beliefs? I felt the same way. But Chief Hotsuin was surprisingly willing to listen," I reply in an attempt at professionalism. "He has given me so many opportunities. I'm happy to be of use to him and the organization he takes such pride in."

Makoto smiles with sincere feeling. "I'm glad I met you, Kuze, but more than that, I'm glad that Chief Hotsuin met you." She chuckles, a little awkward. "Recently, when I reported the breakdown at Takamatsu, he said to review the procedures with the team and implement more stringent controls, then look into reassigning their roles because they could be more effective at a different task. He even ordered me to send them for community service on their next two off days as punishment because 'if they can't be competent here, they can at least contribute to society,' he said. In my years at JP’s, I've never heard anything like that from the Chief. I believe it's thanks to you. Your influence has changed him and JP's for the better. So thank you."

She holds out her hand, and I shake it.

"No problem at all." To hear that Yamato is giving people second chances and sending help to civilians brings an adoring smile to my face. "I'm happy to hear you think he's changed for the better. It means a lot, coming from you."

She averts her eyes, a bit embarrassed. "The Chief doesn't interact with anyone outside of work, so he's always alone. He's a great leader and a superior anyone would look up to, but sometimes I think… people aren't meant to live like that. Someone so young shouldn't have to make such hard decisions… heh, what am I saying? You're only a year older than he is."

"No, I agree," and perhaps I can secure her support now. "Miss Makoto—"

"I've been meaning to tell you… You needn't be so formal."

I grin. "You're one to talk. I've told you before you can just call me Hibiki."

"Right. I—in any case—"

"Makoto, above everything, Yamato is my friend. I only want him to be happy," I tell her earnestly. "But sometimes, what he seeks only brings himself and others more suffering. Like the Special Forces project. He is not one to shy away from necessary sacrifices, and yet I cannot imagine that a needless war would have brought him any happiness."

"Yes." Her smile is one of relief. "Your handling of it was rather masterful, I must say."

Chuckling, I reply, "Had it been more so, he would have been less displeased."

"He seems to have forgiven you."

I suppose that shows how well she really knows Yamato. He's not the type to dwell on an issue, but he rarely forgives and never forgets.

Still, I only say, "It worked out for the best, that's all. I hope you will continue to help me as you did with that, even when it seems to run counter to his wishes."

She nods. "I will do what I believe is best for this organization, of course."

"Indeed. I'm sure we will agree on that." I resume walking. "In any case, we should get back to work. Despite all your help, for which I am deeply grateful, I still have a backlog to clear. Yamato doesn't like it when we're behind."

She laughs as we reach the command centre. "True enough. Well, I'll return to my duties. Do take care on the mission."

"Thanks. I will."

But first, I need to look up Okinawan specialities.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

It's night when I knock on Yamato's office door in Osaka with a bag full of snacks and souvenirs from Okinawa.

"Come in," he calls, tone neutral, then, "You're late," a bit tersely when he sees it's me.

A typhoon damaged the sealing equipment on Hel, so everything in the surrounding area had begun to die. I led an offensive team to subdue her with back up from another group of Special Forces recruits while a technical team replaced the equipment. The highlight of the mission was being led to where Hel was holing up by a group of very cute, but very disgruntled Kijimuna — her presence was killing their banyan trees.

"Well, you didn't specify a time," I tell him matter-of-factly, "but I'm sorry. I stopped to buy a few things once Hel was securely resealed."

He raises an eyebrow. "What did you need?"

Grinning, I set my bag down on his desk. "Local specialities. I wanted to try them with you."

Yamato smiles with a hint of fond exasperation. "We could just go together next time."

I'm happy to hear that, and "we still have plenty to try. Not many things can be brought back."

There's sata andagi, natsukashi no kantengashi and Okinawa Beans, as well as passion fruit awamori, mango juice and shiikwaasaa juice. I also bought us a pair of matching yachimun pen holders and a pair of highball glasses made from hand-blown Ryukyu glass.

The pen holders have been glazed with Shiisaa motifs, and I hold them up. "They look a lot like the real thing, don't they?"

"Yes… I wonder if people actually saw them or spirits simply take the form eminent within our collective consciousness."

"Perhaps it's a bit of both." I swap out his plain black metal pen holder. "A few see one form and propagate it through their stories and art. More people see the art and read the stories, the form becomes widely accepted, and the spirits stick with it even if they had other forms before." I hold up the pair of glasses — there are violet swirls throughout the glass. "These reminded me of your eyes."

"Hmph." He puts his work away. "I much prefer you looked at the real thing."

"Well, if I did that as often as I wished, we'd never get anything else done." I giggle, filling the glasses with ice from the nearby dispenser. "Plus, I washed them, so we could use them now." I pour in the cocktail I learned and stir it with the chopsticks I snagged from the kitchen. "Here, to us."

Yamato takes the offered glass, clinks it on mine and tentatively takes a sip. "It's delicious."

"That's why I wanted you to try it. It's a quarter passion fruit awamori, half mango juice and a quarter shiikwaasaa juice — sweet, tangy and fragrant all at once. Shiikwaasaa is this amazingly fragrant citrus fruit I've never seen before." I open the snacks. "These are fried balls of dough made from purple sweet potato flour and brown sugar, this bean snack is supposed to taste like goya champuru, and this is an agar snack made from local fruits."

He tries a piece of each — he seems to enjoy the pastry and the agar snack, but he grimaces after some Okinawa Beans and washes them down with a gulp of the cocktail. I'm not surprised — I agree that a crispy bean snack tasting like a pork and bitter gourd sauté is pretty disconcerting.

We finish the drinks, eat all the sata andagi, and decide to save the rest of the agar snacks for another day. The beans I think I'll offer to Fumi. If she likes Misovitan D, perhaps she'll enjoy Okinawa Beans too.

Suddenly, Yamato stands and sways. "Hibiki…?" He presses the heel of his palm to his brow. "What did you… What did you give me?"

I blink. "G— Are you…?" He's gone all red, and I hurry to his side. "Awamori is Okinawan liquor. I thought you knew it was alcoholic."

He shakes his head, sways worse, and I catch him, hold him so he can lean on me. "I don't drink. It impairs your health and judgment."

"I'm sorry. I should have asked." If anyone else had offered him the drink, he probably would have had it poison-tested first. "Your trust means a lot to me."

Nuzzling my neck, he murmurs, "You smell amazing."

Relieved, I chuckle. "You've never said that before. Maybe you should drink more."

"Hmph, you're the worst."

Laughing, I help him through the door to his personal quarters and up the stairs to his bed. Once I've made sure he's comfortable, I move away, but he catches my hand.

"Don't leave me."

The raw plea in violet eyes leaves me blinking the sting out of mine.

"Of course not." I comb my fingers gently through his hair. "I'm just getting you a glass of water."

"Mm…" He lets go. "Alcohol is dehydrating."

"Yeah."

I pour some into a glass from a pitcher on the nearby table before coming to sit beside him on the bed. In the meantime, he's removed his coat and tie. I prop him up and help him drink it; he drains the glass and lies back down.

"Do you want more?"

"No."

"Well, let me refill this anyway in case you wake up thirsty later." I cover it on the nightstand.

"I thought you weren't leaving."

"I'm not. You know I'm more afraid you'll send me away."

"Over a drink? What nonsense, Hibiki."

Well, no, but that's not a conversation for now. I move his clothes to a nearby rack and undress as well before helping him with his pants and socks. When we're both in nothing but our shirts and underwear, I slide under the covers. He snuggles close, and I wrap my arms around him.

"You should just move in," he mumbles, tightening his hold on me.

I scoff. "You're right. It _is_ impairing your judgment."

"I'll kill anyone who has anything to say about it."

"Please don't."

"Still so soft. You should only be like that with me."

"Hah." I shake my head with a fond smile. "I _am_ only like this with you, Yamato. You're the one that's not making any sense now."

"Mm…"

His breathing evens out as he drifts off, and I kiss his brow. Move in, huh? Maybe someday, after we've changed the world.

"Hotsuin Yamato was different once."

My head snaps up in shock — Alcor is sitting weightlessly beside Yamato on the bed. Horrified, I glance down.

"Oh, you need not fear, Shining One. At present, only you can perceive me."

True enough, Yamato doesn't react, and I relax, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp. Yamato smiles in his sleep, and I can't help but mirror that contented expression.

"How long have you known him?" I mouth the words.

"I first met Hotsuin Yamato when he was… by your reckoning, seven years of age. He was a child of unrivalled possibility, the first Shining One I found in your time, and perhaps it was his family's teachings, perhaps it was innate to his personality, but he possessed a strong desire to protect humanity."

"He still does," I correct silently. "He believes that his ideals will preserve humanity, not realizing that what they preserve is merely the form, but not the substance of being human. It is our choices that define who we are — if they are made for us, we would cease to be ourselves."

Alcor smiles wistfully. "My warnings made him anxious. His environment, the environment you now live in, Shining One, made him bitter. It was not long before he came to see human liberty as a threat to your continued survival as a species, believing your nature had become corrupt and your potential either wasted or turned to destructive ends."

"He's not wrong. It's just his method of eradicating the corruption defeats its purpose."

"Unfortunately, his ideals are in line with the will of Polaris." The Septentrione rubs his chin, pensive. "Yet, as you have before, I believe you can sway him now."

"As you could have, once. Had you reasoned with him instead of leaving, he would at least have listened. You were his only friend in all the world." I kiss the crown of Yamato’s head. "Alcor, Yamato didn't join me because he had faith in my ideals or abilities. He had every intention of evaluating the result. No, he gave my way a chance because he wanted to believe in me. And I believe he once felt the same way about you."

He covers my hand on Yamato's back, leaning closer with a look of deep sorrow. "I gave the Hotsuin clan knowledge, and it upset their fate. I gave Hotsuin Yamato information, and it warped his ambition. I gave him company, and it twisted his heart. Shining One, I gave you power, and it trapped you in this endless struggle."

I lace our fingers, meeting his gaze earnestly. "From which only you can free us." Maybe we're running out of time, maybe we're not, maybe Izanami meant something else, but I'm starting to think… is this how we want to live? In constant fear of judgement and destruction?

Grey eyes widen. "Free you…? From… Polaris? That is… unthought of. And how would you control the Akashic Record?"

" _I_ wouldn't," I say meaningfully, and he gasps.

"I… need to think on this, Shining One. Truly, your freedom is… enlightening. Still, I… cannot turn against Polaris. And even were it possible… every gift I have given mankind has also been a curse. Knowing this, you still trust me with the creation and fate of your new world?"

I squeeze his hand. "In your imperfection, you are like us. What Administrator would understand us better? Alcor, it is enough for me that you are our friend, that your fondest desire is to help us."

Alcor smiles, eyes bright, floating to my side. "Your words give rise to such beautiful emotions in my heart, Shining One." He touches his lips to my cheek — no doubt he has been watching us. "Very well. If that is your wish, I will aid you in any way that I can. Till that time, allow me to strengthen my resolve."

He disappears just in time — Yamato opens his eyes.

"Hibiki, have you not slept?"

I offer him a goofy smile. "Well, if I close my eyes to sleep, I'd miss you." I peck him on the nose.

He scoffs with deep exasperation. "You are completely absurd." Resigned, he sighs. "Sleep, Hibiki. We have much to do." Then he smirks with promise. "I'll wake you up properly."

"Oh, now I really won't be able to sleep."

Still, we settle in, and again, Yamato drifts off before me. In truth, I suspect the earlier conversation may have cut our deadline, and yet…

I'm tired.

I'm tired of having a deadline.

I'm tired of looking over my shoulder and seeing the signs of impending invasion.

It hasn't even been a year. It's not fair — the human zeitgeist is not so quickly or easily changed.

I tighten my arms around Yamato.

I swear it — if we must fight Polaris again, this time, I'm fighting for keeps.


	22. Beads of Change

Surprisingly, less work piled up while Yamato and I were away than we expected, and we clear the backlog within the first two days. Anxiety makes me start stockpiling emergency supplies in the branches I know will survive, and I reluctantly include the other three. I can't help but think I should try to save more people if I'm doing this over, but when the time comes to shoot down Alioth, will it matter? In truth, I've never believed that the death count at Sapporo was zero — it was just the lowest of our four options. I backed Yamato up on it because we didn't have a choice, and he knew it. More importantly, I worry that another trial, if it comes, will be much harder than the last, and I can't prepare enough. Polaris knows we survived the last set, after all, and she surely knows I remember everything.

As news spreads and deliveries arrive, my office and inbox continue to fill with gifts and well-wishes. I didn't realize I was so popular, and it's nice to know I've been missed, but Yamato's paranoia has taken a turn towards obsession following the sniper scare, and he wanted every item inspected for sabotage. He's also started making me accompany him almost everywhere. Of course I still go to the Diet and on operations by myself, but he constantly reminds me to be cautious of my surroundings, and I'm concerned he's going to start tracking me on my off days if he hasn't already.

All this is sometimes worrying, sometimes cute, but it's not till the former, and now late, Defense Minister's known associates start mysteriously dropping dead that I decide this really has to stop.

"Yamato, you can't keep doing this."

He glances up at the headlines I'm showing him, then continues working. "Why? Does a hawk not kill animals that would threaten its nest? It's only natural."

 _Reason,_ I remind myself, _not sentiment._ "There are repercussions for everything, Yamato. I worry this will jeopardise our plans down the line."

He doesn't even pause. "Everything will be for naught if we die before we see our plans through, Hibiki."

 _Okay, deep breaths._ I set the newspapers down on his desk and circle it. "They haven't even done anything." He's killing them as a preventive measure.

He sets his pen down. "You don't know that—"

"Don't I?"

His eyes cut to me. "—yet. By the next incident, i—"

"There won't be." I turn his chair to make him face me. "I've been keeping tabs on them. You know that."

"And if they choose to act, will you do it?"

I take a second; he doesn't wait.

"Still so soft," he sighs. "Our enemies don't share your compassion, Hibiki, so let me spare you the pain."

My eyes widen. "Thank you," I whisper, leaning down to embrace him. This is the world he knows, dark and merciless, the world that has twisted him so, and "I'm grateful that you're trying to protect me."

"So long as you understand." He pulls me into his lap, and I curl into him.

"You know," I smile contentedly, "I feel so fortunate. There's always been someone protecting me. Before, I had Daichi." Chuckling at his raised eyebrow, I ask, "Are you surprised? Things were very different back then. As a child, I was a loner and a bookworm, so I was bullied often at school."

"So that's why you put up with him."

I frown. "I keep telling you that's not how it is."

"I was under the impression that these schools of yours are educational institutions." He wisely switches tacks, a hand rubbing the turn of my hip placatingly. "They don't sound very conducive to learning at all."

"That depends on the school, but I agree that improvements are necessary. After all, not every child is ready for a college-level education like," I rub our noses to punctuate the words, "my beloved genius." I kiss him. "Besides, school had its good parts too, and I didn't turn out half bad, did I?"

"That's because you're talented, Hibiki." A cool gaze counters my cheeky grin. "That I poured in pure water and received pure water tells me nothing about the quality of a filtration process. Only when I pour in sewage and receive pure water can I say the process is a true success."

"Ow, harsh… but you're right, of course." I give him another peck on the lips. "Though any process where you get pure water from sewage would eliminate most components and thus a large quantity of the sewage."

"Hmph, those components should never have been poured through the filter in the first place."

"Mm, we should have just made fertiliser out of those, but then we wouldn't get to test your filtration process."

Yamato shrugs, unimpressed. "So you run a few tests, then clean the filter and send the dregs to the fertiliser factory."

"Agreed." I kiss him again — as Makoto said, we've made ideological progress. "Never waste resources. But we've digressed. I meant to say… I wonder sometimes if I ever moved on at heart from that powerless victim I was ten years ago. Even now, I still need someone to protect me."

He combs gloved fingers through my hair. "You're not powerless, Hibiki. You know that."

"Then trust me." I meet his gaze, earnest and resolute. "I'll know if they plan anything. I'll know exactly whom to eliminate. I won't let any harm come to either of us."

It takes a moment, but then he laughs, a rich sound. "And you say I'm the worst. Even now, I'm playing into your hands..." He sighs, tugging me closer by my chin. "Still, your machinations have exceeded my expectations many times before... Very well," he relents, capturing my lips, violet eyes aglow with pride. "I leave this in your hands, Hibiki. Don't disappoint me."

"Thank you." I press my forehead to his, closing my eyes and tightening my hold on him. "I won't. You're so important to me, Yamato. I'd d—"

"No." He silences me with a thumb to my lips. "Even your life belongs to me, Kuze Hibiki. Don't you dare let anyone else take it."

I smile, taking his hand to move his thumb away. "I'd destroy everything before I let our dream be crushed, Yamato. I won't let compassion undermine my resolve."

"Excellent. I expect nothing less of you." He rewards me with another kiss. "But as much as I enjoy our interludes, we have plenty of work left to do today."

Obediently, I slide off his lap. "I'll see you tonight?" I squeeze his hand before letting go.

"Of course. Don't be late. Dismissed."

Leaving his office, I repress the urge to run a victory lap, to rejoice, to shout my triumph from the rooftops. I'm over the moon — at long last, real change. Nothing could be more worthy of celebration — there truly is hope for us. Not even the shadow of the Septentriones can dampen my spirits.

I skip back to my office to find an envelope in my mail tray. It's an invitation to a charity ball to be held in honour of the leaders visiting us for the upcoming summit. With it is a note from Representative Haneda, recommending my attendance for the exposure.

I smile — I have chosen a good mentor.

Still, it says "ball." As I understand it, that means there will be dancing, perhaps in a Western style due to most of our guests being Western dignitaries. I don't have any idea how to dance, not even our local dances. If only I'd gone to one of the AiHina☆☆ Meet & Greet events, perhaps Hinako would be willing to give me a crash course, but there's little I can do about that oversight now.

Oh! Maybe Yamato can help me. He was, after all, raised to socialise with politicians.

With that in mind, I head back to his office, invitation in hand. He seems surprised but happy to see me again so soon, but somewhere between irked and confused when I ask if he knows how to dance.

"If you wanted to ask about such trifles, you could wait till tonight."

"I need to respond to this, actually." I hand him the invitation card and wait for him to skim it. "I was hoping you could teach me about these events, so I wouldn't feel so awkward about going."

Yamato's expression tells me he thinks it a waste of time, but he understands that attending it furthers my agenda, _our_ agenda. Grudgingly, he says, "Yes, I can. If there's nothing else, we will begin tonight. Now go, I'm busy."

"Of course. Thank you."

"Dismissed."

He returns to his paperwork, and I head back to my office to send my positive reply. I will have to thank Representative Haneda in person before the meeting tomorrow.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Yesterday, Yamato imparted some general do's and don'ts at such events. Today, he is actually teaching me to dance. He says he was taught in case of the rare social event, but he always considered the lessons a pointless diversion from his study of more important things, so he stopped once he'd learned the minimum necessary.

I'm sure his definition of minimum necessary is quite extensive, and I'm nervous given his intolerance of ineptitude, but he only winds an arm around my waist and places one of my hands on his shoulder before holding the other away from us.

"We'll start slow. Step back with your right foot." He nudges me backwards. "Step to the side with your left foot." He tugs me along. "Bring your right foot in. Now, step forward with your left foot." He pulls me towards him. "Then to the side with your right foot and bring your left foot in. Again."

We do this box a few times, until I'm comfortable, then he switches the positions of our hands.

"Now you start by stepping forward with your left foot. This is what you will be doing."

Again, we repeat until I'm comfortable, then he turns on some music, and I recognise it as Strauss, a waltz.

"So this is the waltz."

"This is the basic step of a few dances, including the waltz," he corrects. "Now, try in time with the music."

That's easy, and I figure out how to make the movements smoother and more graceful as we go. That gets the first smile out of Yamato, and he proceeds to teach me some variations and turns. In short order, we're twirling gracefully across the floor, Yamato fits perfectly in my arms as he always has, and he's praising me for being a quick learner.

I'm enjoying this, actually. "Makes me wish I'd received this invitation earlier. The next time we go to the beach, we can dance on the sand."

He chuckles. "The next time we go to the beach, we can do whatever you want."

"Really?" I pull him closer, pressing our bodies together, and his breath hitches. "Do you think we'd be arrested if we made love on the beach?"

"Yes." He presses his cheek to mine to whisper in my ear, "If they notice."

I snort, letting him go for a spin and return. "And how, pray tell, will they fail to notice you screaming my name?"

He nips my earlobe a bit more viciously. "It wouldn't be your first time wiping people's memories, would it?"

Tensing would give him too much satisfaction. Instead, I trace the shell of his ear with the tip of my tongue.

"What an irresponsible thing you're suggesting… We should stick to building sand castles."

He shivers, and I turn to capture his lips, never a pause in our dancing. If he knows, so be it; at least he cannot doubt my conviction. Our kiss is slow, exploring, an intimacy we've so recently come to share.

"Don't do that at the party," he murmurs when we part for air.

"A ridiculous notion." We turn and glide towards the other wall as one. "Whom else would I want to kiss?"

Out of the blue, he slams me into it. "The mere thought of you holding another is enraging."

Oh, so that's the underlying tension I've been sensing.

"Says the one who'll have a wife in a few years."

It's a bit of a low blow, admittedly, but he doesn't say that. Instead, he pins my hands on either side of my head.

"I didn't say it was fair. Thus, I will allow it. But that doesn't change my anger."

I chuckle, twining our fingers. "I'll make sure there's an appropriate amount of space between me and my dance partner, of course. For modesty."

He lets go and leans into me. I wind my arms tightly around him and sway him to the Sondheim song playing now. I can't blame Yamato for being possessive — for me, for everyone else, we have family and friends; for Yamato, there is only me. To be honest, it's often quite the turn on.

Yamato reduces the volume of the music before we fall into his bed. Lying face to face like this feels so much like the night before we battled Polaris, but he just gazes at me, and I don't know what he's thinking.

"I told you." I twirl a lock of silver around my finger. "You're unrivalled in my heart. I only have eyes for you."

The corners of his mouth curl up slightly. "These silly over-sentimental quips of yours, are they a civilian custom? There weren't so many of them even in that movie we watched with your friends."

Laughing, I tell him, "No, I collected them over eighteen years of media consumption just to say to you."

He tugs his gloves off to drop them between our pillows. "You can't say that if you've ever said them to anyone else."

"I never have and never will." Grinning, I add, "I expect you're the only one who wouldn't laugh at me every time anyway."

"Heh… It's a strange thing… I don't enjoy hearing them, and yet, I'm pleased that you only say them to me."

Reaching for his hand resting between us, I run the pad of my thumb over his radial artery. "Before I met you, I thought I'd never find anyone I'd sincerely want to say them to."

Yamato smiles, at peace. "In that, we are alike, Hibiki. That is only natural. You, who are unlike any other in this broken world, must surely feel the distance between you and the foolish masses."

I shake my head. "Everyone's experience of the world is different. Sometimes, people may not be intelligent, informed or powerful in the way that we understand, but their unique experience yields something they can teach you. For instance…" I rack my brain for an example. "Take a native of a remote island. He likely doesn't know anything about the rest of the world, but he can teach you how to survive — how to find potable water, which plants are edible or poisonous… valuable information if you're there and perhaps for similar situations in the future. If you dismiss them as foolish and close your mind beforehand, then you miss learning opportunities to broaden your horizons."

"Hmm…" He looks pensive. "Is that what sets you apart? This willingness to learn and change?"

I smile, cheeky. "I don't know… maybe?" Turning serious, I continue, "When the Septentriones invaded, all of us acted and adapted despite knowing nothing about demons or fighting. Some just did it better than others. Anyone can change, everyone has a talent they can discover, but not everyone has the opportunity they deserve to do that. Opportunities don't exist in a vacuum state, of course, but I think it's surprising what you can achieve and discover when you don't let preconceived notions and fear hold you back from trying your best or giving people chances."

"And yet, faced with the same opportunities, only so few made it to the end with us."

I sigh. "Learning, changing, growing — those are choices. Some had the opportunity and did not seize it. Yet, one's opportunity is another's threat. Some wished to act, but could not — not everyone has the spiritual power to use the summoning app. Even so, they did their best to survive and help others, whereas some who could use the summoning app used it to spread chaos instead of fighting the wild demons or invaders. We don't have the resources to save everyone, of course, and it made more sense then to save those that could fight, but looking back, I would have chosen to save the civilians who didn't cause problems instead. We wasted so much time and resources subduing troublemakers." This time, hopefully, we won't have rioters and thugs to deal with.

"Speaking of resources, Hibiki, I am informed that you have instructed the branches at Tokyo, Osaka, Nagoya, Sapporo, Beppu and Hakata to begin stockpiling emergency supplies." He frowns. "If you knew the timing of the calamity—"

"I would have told you," I interject, meeting his gaze. "I _don't_ know. I just…" I sigh, clasping his hand. "I'm worried. Did… Did Kunino-sagiri say anything at the end?"

Yamato blinks, then tries to recall. "I believe it repeated 'it's over; it's over for us all,' on a loop until it disintegrated."

"Ameno-sagiri said something like… 'We could have remade the world without her, but now we're all doomed,' and it's voice was different, more like a woman's. I think maybe that was Izanami warning us about Polaris."

"And you didn't think to report that?" He's frowning again.

"I have no proof." I smile weakly. "It's merely an unfounded theory. Maybe it's nothing. But I don't want to take that risk, so I'm expanding our inventory. We can just use and restock as we go. It's not like we're putting a bunch of supplies in a vault till they expire."

"I'm not questioning your handling of the goods, Hibiki."

I drop my gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to give you any false alarms. I mean, nothing's happened yet. Maybe I’m wrong."

Yamato climbs atop me, straddling my hips, hands on my shoulders. "Your instincts and judgment have served us well before, and worrying about this nation's future is my job."

"Our job," I correct softly, resting my hands on his waist.

"Then you should share your concerns with me."

"I will if you will," I counter, tugging him closer.

Obliging, he smirks. "Don't you already know them?"

"If your concerns are so static, I must be doing an awful job as your right hand."

Laughing, he straightens to lie atop me. "No, you’ve certainly taken a weight off my mind since you started working here. For years I wished for an assistant I could rely on, and I was greatly relieved to find Sako, but you are so much more than I imagined existed. I had despaired of finding competent subordinates, but now… I can only surmise that you have taught them well. When I think back to how we met, I feel I should tell you no one has proven more worthy of my time. I have no regrets about leaving things in your hands."

"Thank you."

"You are very capable, Hibiki." He rocks his hips into mine, and we moan as one. "So capable and so dangerous."

"And that turns you on?" I tease, a bit breathless.

It's like a switch has flipped in Yamato's brain — once aloof, now he can't get enough of physical contact. Sex, cuddles, even wrestling — he wants it all, and I'm only too happy to help him make up for seventeen years of touch starvation.

He nibbles lightly on my earlobe. "Yes, it's been a long time since I last found someone who could be a real threat. If we were to split, I'm certain many in JP’s would choose to follow you. It is quite exciting."

"What?" I blink, stricken — Fumi's warning comes rushing back. "I'd never take JP’s from you, Yamato. It's yours. It always will be."

"I know." His hands slide under my shirt as he smiles. "You are not one to meaninglessly abuse the power you wield. That is chief among your qualities. I mean to say that you are here by choice, not necessity, and I appreciate that."

I reach up to unbutton his shirt. "What about you?"

"I told you — you are my most valuable asset."

We shrug out of our clothes, twining our legs to slide skin on skin.

"You're brilliant at work, at politics, in battle, in bed…" He smirks wickedly, and I shiver as he strokes the back of my knee — the sensation always seems to go straight to my cock. "Where will I ever find another?"

"I'd say you just need to look harder," I tell him as I reach for the beads and lube in the nightstand — we've been trying toys lately, and these are his favourite. "But I really don't want you to." I press the smallest one in, and he makes a sound of pleasure. "It's been hard enough getting here."

Yamato's laugh turns into a breathless yelp as I press the next bead in, and he kisses me before saying, "Then let me assure you that while I will always welcome more talented personnel, I have no wish to find another to replace you."

I smile, content, as I add another bead, and he takes the lube from me. "Good." The word comes out a moan as slick fingers stroke me open. "Ahh, I meant to say, you are the missing half of my soul, Yamato; I never felt complete until I loved you."

He scoffs. "What a fallacy. Don't degrade yourself, Hibiki. Each of us is complete alone. We cannot complete each other."

Snorting a laugh, I groan, "Now you've taken to ruining even my attempts to be romantic."

A gasp punctuates another bead, and he's shaking his head. "We can refine one another, and only one diamond can shape another. No, together," he finds my free hand to lace our fingers, "we become something greater, a force that can sway even the preordained fate of the world." A spark of pleasure has me arching off the bed with a sharp cry, my grip tightening on his hand, and he sucks another mark into my clavicle, stakes his claim. "Hibiki, to part would be to settle for being less than we could be, and that is simply unacceptable."

Oh. _Oh._ "I'm doing it wrong," I whine as I start moving the next bead in and out slowly to prepare him for the one after. "You're too coherent. That must be the most philosophical version of 'we should be together forever' anyone's ever said."

His breath quickens — this part always gets him right to the edge. I know he'll climax if I go any faster — it's just shy of the intensity he needs.

"Tease," he breathes through gritted teeth, stroking vindictively over my sweet spot again, and I whimper. This is how we started trying toys — we both enjoy both sides of this too much to settle for just one or the other.

"You know I just don't want to hurt you," I tell him with a placating kiss to his temple.

He bites back increasingly wanton sounds as I continue with the next bead at an even slower pace, and I pull him into a kiss before his teeth can draw blood. We claim each other's lips again and again, and I'm close too, I'm ready — trapped between our bodies, our erections are slick with precum, and he's losing the ability to hold still.

This, I think, is the truest expression of intimacy —not the pleasure or the physicality of this, but the power we allow each other to have over us— when surrender feels enough like control for even Yamato to let go.

I stop, tracing the ridges of his spine from neck to mid-back to soothe him as he wilfully slows his breathing. Then he's stroking me as he enters, plundering my mouth as he takes me, and I wish this could last longer, but I can't.

Between a kiss, I gasp his name and pull the beads out sharply; he cries out as a jolt of heat sears to my soul. My ears are ringing a little, but I don't mind. It seems a bit… filthy when I think of it — I like that he's a screamer, I like the feel of his seed inside me, I like that he won't complain my sixty-nine plan for breakfast is neither sanitary nor safe.

"Forever," I say when I've caught my breath. He didn't correct my earlier interpretation. "I really like the sound of that."

"Excellent." He curls into me. "I'd hate to think you'd be satisfied with anything less."


	23. I Spy Sparks Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! ♥
> 
> I hope to hear that you enjoy the update and wish you a wonderful new year ahead.

Everything sparkles at the charity ball — from the chandeliers to the drinks to the jewellery on the ladies. I've never worn anything quite as expensive as the suit Yamato had tailored for me — I can't wear the JP's uniform, of course, and "in this broken world, the future premier must look the part," he said. My new shoes are silent on the lush carpet as Representative Haneda leads me around the foyer, introducing me to various foreign dignitaries as her assistant while smartly dressed waiters flit through the crowd to offer us aperitifs and hors d'oeuvres. We chat about current affairs and my plan to run for a Diet seat in the near future, and everyone dutifully compliments us, respectively for training the next generation of statesmen and taking an early interest in the governance of the nation.

Not everyone from the Diet is here —the security staff outnumber familiar faces— and most of the attendees are from foreign embassies. Thankfully, most of them speak Japanese — my English and Spanish aren't nearly good enough for any decent conversation. I wouldn't even sound half as good as I do now if Yamato hadn't forced me to practice with him all week — he speaks English very well. I still try my best, both to speak and to understand the many accents, and if nothing else, they praise my efforts. All the Ministers of State are present, some newly appointed after their predecessor's death or resignation, and we even get a few minutes with some foreign leaders. They commend my attendance as the long-awaited start of greater youth participation in Japan's political old boys' club, saying they're sure I'll have plenty of valuable input on solutions to the problems faced by future generations.

Eventually, we are welcomed into the banquet hall and seated at tables. The more important people sit closer to the front, of course, so this is where I am separated from Haneda. I don't recognize anyone at my table —there's only one other Japanese, and most are maybe ten years older— but quick introductions reveal that they all speak Japanese and work for various embassies — two each from Kenya and Albania, and one each from Argentina, Belarus and the Netherlands. Fortunately, we're spared the effort of making conversation by a spirited performance from a traditional instruments ensemble, followed by a series of speeches from the world leaders in attendance, including our own, and everyone claps politely after each spiel about fostering better international cooperation on global issues.

As a beautiful tray with the first few courses is set before us, the blonde beside me —Louisa, the one from the Dutch embassy— suddenly says, "That you and I met here… is what you'd call fate, yes? You mentioned you are interning at the Diet. What do you hope to gain by running for a Diet seat?"

"Gain…?" I'm a bit taken aback — it's strangely direct, almost impolite even, but I have heard that Westerners tend to be more forthright than us. "I simply want to play a more active role in shaping my country's future, that's all."

"I see. You are to be commended. Everyone has desires, but few have will. Will sparks actions and actions spark change."

Something about her seems… unusual, although I can't place it. She is instantly charming and ethereally beautiful, but there's a dangerous, regal air about her. Well, I suppose it's only natural for someone with beauty, brains and personality to be rightfully proud of it. She does look stunning in her backless black gown with a plunging cowl neckline that perfectly frames an intricate necklace — fine gold chains link eleven circular jewels the colour of her bright blue eyes in a pattern I've seen before… in JP's archives.

"Is that the sephiroth?" I ask between bites of carpaccio, seaweed salad and silken tofu.

Louisa smiles, bewitching. "You certainly are an interesting one. Not many would recognize it."

"I saw it in a book I read once."

Her earrings and bracelet are a matching set, miniatures of the necklace, and her lustrous golden hair is pinned up in a complicated chignon of sorts with a gold clip shaped like a goat's head. The gold blends so perfectly with her hair that it is noticeable only by the eyes — the same blue gems.

"Such a well-read aspiring leader," she murmurs, pleased. "You may be the spark we need for a brighter future. I would very much like to know… what would you do if you were elected Prime Minister?"

Before I can answer, the next performance begins —Nihon Buyō— and I am more surprised than I should be to see Hinako enter with a fellow dancer. Despite her burgeoning idol career, she's still the successor to the Kujou style, after all. The dance is breathtakingly graceful as always, and everyone applauds enthusiastically when it is over.

"This is much better than those dreary speeches, would you not agree?" Louisa nods at the waiter as he takes our empty plates. "But you were saying…?"

Well, I wasn't, but watching the dance has given me time to think about an answer that won't give too much away. "I would try to get more diverse representation and encourage more independent critical thinking," I reply neutrally as more dishes that are almost too beautiful to eat arrive. Adding that I'd also cull elitism, corruption and nepotism would only make me public enemy number one to those who prefer the status quo. "After all, we won't find any new solutions in conformity."

She smiles with delight. "So you wish to reform the system. I see. Intriguing. But to break free of the world's order will ever bring the wrath of a greater enemy upon you. Are you prepared then to endure the struggle beyond your goals?"

"Naturally, the path of change always faces the greatest resistance." This was never going to be easy. "But we cannot give up. There is no other way to build a better future." 

The next performance is a youth choir singing in several languages, so we pause the conversation again. Louisa appears to have a deep appreciation for the performances — she listens with rapt attention, doesn't speak until it's over.

"I see. That, then, is the strength of your will." The next course is grilled wagyu. "Did you know… humans once knew nothing of music, art and such? Now they have progressed to such magnificent performances. Some would call this a spark for destruction, claim that culture distracts mankind from its true purpose. What do you think?"

I chuckle — she reminds me of Alcor. "I think that's just finding ugly meanings in beautiful things."

Her eyes widen, and in the change of lighting, they seem red for a moment. "I see," she says with a laugh. "That is a fine way to phrase it."

A kabuki play starts up as we eat, a moving piece, and a palate cleanser is brought during intermission, followed by a delicate seafood stew set on an ornate warmer. The play concludes on a light-hearted note, and everyone claps as we are served a glass of cold sōmen in a tangy broth.

"Tell me," Louisa continues as the wait staff bring us small bamboo baskets of rice cooked with chestnuts and assorted mushrooms. "Do you wish to reform the system purely for the sake of change? Or is there something beyond that? What do you desire?"

"A world that values all talents, where everyone has equal opportunity to reach their full potential and prosper," I answer simply — it sounds like a pipe dream, idealism, but the impression of naïveté serves me well in these circles, encourages potential enemies to underestimate me.

"Amazing," she breathes as an enka performance begins, and we are served a tray of dainty desserts when it ends.

They open the floor then, and the guests of honour grace us with the first dance. Everyone walks around to socialise, and I'm about to join them when Louisa takes my hand.

Her touch is electric, sparks arcing up my arm. My hairs are standing on end — it feels like… power, destiny, and I'm transfixed — in her piercing blue eyes, I see freedom, boundless possibility.

"We should dance," she says, and I'm not sure if her voice was always so melodious, the warmth of morning sunlight, the sweetness of fine honey. "To celebrate our meeting. It is what you would call fortunate. I hope it will serve as a spark for something greater."

"I'm afraid I don't dance very well," but I follow her to the dance floor, unresisting.

"Your culture has taught you to be so modest," she replies with the barest hint of reproach. "One such as you will do perfectly well."

Fortunately, the next song fits a dance Yamato taught me, so I take her hands, and then I'm not sure who's leading whom anymore. It's as if my body is moving by itself because all I can think of is everything I'm going to do to Yamato when I get back, everything we will accomplish together, all the ways we can pave our path to power and change. Still, I am distantly aware that everyone is watching — Louisa dances like a professional, executing complex steps with expert grace, and to be a part of such magnificence is exhilarating.

I want to dance with her forever.

She smiles, a flash of red light in her blue, blue eyes, and I can't look away. "I have a confession," she murmurs to make me lean in, not that I would resist an invitation to move closer anyway — so much for modesty. "I heard about you from a… friend, of sorts, and I was greatly interested in meeting you… to have a sounder understanding of the manner of person you are."

"And do you like what you've learned?"

Louisa laughs, a more beautiful sound than even the music we are dancing to, performed by the national orchestra. "Are we not celebrating? Humans, born of God's madness… I have no love for them… for so few are like you. A free world that embraces individual ability, I look forward to it."

The song comes to an end, and she finishes with a flourish to thunderous applause. "Behold, you are a brilliant dance partner. As I said, you are needlessly modest, though that is wise for a serpent amongst sheep," she whispers in my ear as she straightens, and although she curtseys for me and our audience as per custom, it is clearly more to bask in their admiration than any form of gratitude.

When we make our exit, the spellbound crowd parts for us like the Red Sea. She lets go of my hand when we reach our table, and in a sudden moment of clarity, I feel guilty for flirting earlier — I hope I haven't given her the wrong idea.

But she only says, "Kuze Hibiki, be true to yourself, and if you truly possess the will to change the world's order, we will surely meet again."

The next thing I know, she's left the hall, and a number of people are already asking who my dance partner was. Of course, I can only tell them she sat beside me at my table and works for the Dutch embassy. I can't even imagine where or from whom she might have heard of me.

Unsurprisingly, everyone is dying to find out more about her, but not even the Dutch Ambassador knows anything about an aide named Louisa Ferre.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"Hey."

Yamato glances up from his paperwork with a smile when he hears it's me, and my heart seizes a bit with joy — it feels like I've waited so long to get here.

"I'm heading over to the Nagoya branch to get details from Fumi for my report on that app we're testing. Want to join me for lunch after?"

He sighs, "You know perfectly well I have a meeting in twenty minutes," as he starts clearing his desk.

So I do. That's precisely why I'm meeting Ronaldo for lunch.

"Oh, right." My chagrin is genuine though. "Shall I bring something back for you?"

He gives it a bit of thought as he rises and joins me by the door. "The chicken wings we had that night were nice."

I wind an arm around him and kiss his cheek before opening the door. "Of course. I'll buy a dozen before I come back."

He squeezes my hand briefly as he pulls me outside with him before locking his office behind us. "We can go for takoyaki tonight."

It's sweet of him to want to make up for being unable to join me for lunch, and I give in to kissing him again when I see the corridor is empty.

"We can do whatever you want tonight," I whisper teasingly. "Even try out a themed love hotel."

"L—" Yamato's confusion is so cute — I can't help giggling. "What is a love hotel?"

"A hotel that rents out rooms for several hours for couples to make love in. The term actually originates right here in Osaka, so I guess we can count it as much of a cultural experience as takoyaki?"

He frowns as we walk. "Are you… justifying this?"

I grin. "Would I need to?"

"No. Themed…?"

"Oh yes, you can find everything from space ships and cars to aquariums and jungles." We are surrounded by staff now, so I have to be more oblique. "There are also castles, bars, schools, trains, boats, churches…" An agent greets us as she passes, and I respond before continuing with "dungeons…" once she's out of earshot.

The Look he gives me seems to say, "I know what you're thinking," "you are absurd and incorrigible," and "I can't dislike your depravity," all at the same time, and I counter with my best "I love you too" smile.

He shakes his head in fond exasperation as we reach the Terminal room. "Ha… If you wish, perhaps we can discuss this in detail later." Checking for observers, he pecks me on the cheek. "Well then."

He goes first to Tokyo, and I wait for the Terminal to reset before heading in to enter the code for Nagoya. I shouldn't be surprised that Fumi does like Okinawa Beans, but she actually seems disappointed that I haven’t brought more. I promise I'll buy more the next time I visit the island and copy the information I need before heading out to Jungo's restaurant. It's crowded as usual when I arrive, but Ronaldo is quick to take Jungo's chagrin as a cue to scoot over a bit for me at the counter, and I surreptitiously slip a flash drive into his pocket as I squeeze in beside him.

"Ah, Kuriki Ronaldo… We meet again." I did pick this place to look coincidental. "Thank you for the space."

"Kuze Hibiki," he plays along. "We should help one another, so don't mention it. I suppose it's too much to hope for that you've finally tired of Hotsuin…?"

I laugh — he's acting well. "If you only knew how close we are, Detective, you wouldn't ask."

He returns his attention to his chawan mushi as I order some for myself. "I saw some of your staff recently," he ventures at length.

"Did you?"

"Volunteering at a local charity. On orders, they claimed."

Ah yes, the two teams that got careless on the recent operation here and caused collateral damage all the way to the nearby orphanage. The only reason they weren't fired was because no one saw any demons. Naturally, they were sent to help with the repairs in an official capacity.

"Yes, Yamato's, actually," I answer his unspoken question, let him hear the hint of pride — it's the truth, and Yamato chose it freely. We were together when the report came in, and I'm sure the reporting agent wished I'd been alone, but to hear Yamato's decision was the greatest reward I'd ever received.

Ronaldo turns to gape at me —his eyes might pop out if they go any wider— and I smile.

"The ball of opportunity won't simply come to you. It's like soccer, right? You need to run for it, and you can't give up." I take my chawan mushi with thanks and start eating.

"Heh." He grins, a touch impressed. "I must admit you've scored some unexpected goals."

"Thank you. I'm far too invested in this match to give up."

"Hah… to think even a man like Hotsuin…" He closes his eyes and shakes his head, somewhere between disbelief and awe. "It would seem I was right about you. I hope you will continue to work towards a better world in your own way."

I nod. "And you as well. But life is definitely like fishing — you must wait for the right moment. When that moment comes, though, I hope you will support me."

"As long as you believe in justice and peace, you can count me an ally." Ronaldo claps me lightly on the shoulder as he turns to leave. "So the next time we meet, Kuze Hibiki, I hope it will still be as allies."

I merely continue eating as he leaves — we're not supposed to know each other very well, after all.

When a few more customers take off, Jungo gets a spare moment to ask, "Where's your friend?"

"Yamato? In a meeting, unfortunately."

Jungo looks sad. "But he needs to eat too."

"Try telling him that. He's superhuman." I snicker at Jungo's frown. "That was a joke. I'll feed him, don't worry."

He brightens. "Good food makes people happy. Should I make some for him?"

"You have a way to pack it?"

That takes the wind out of his sails. "There must be some way…"

"No, don't worry about it. He has a craving for chicken wings anyway. Next time," I promise with a grin as I pay. "I'll tie him up and cart him here if I have to." After I've had my way with him, that is.

"Okay…" Jungo smiles happily. "Thank you so much. See you both next time!"

I take the nearest subway to buy Yamato's chicken wings, pack a kishimen with plum and perilla dip as well, then head back to the Nagoya branch for the Terminal. I run into Yamato on my way to his office and fall in step beside him.

"Guess whom I ran into at lunch today."

I set the meeting up as a coincidence just in case Yamato really has started tracking me outside in his paranoia, but the best way to avoid suspicion is to report it.

He raises an eyebrow, scanning his ID to unlock the door.

"Kuriki Ronaldo."

"And…?"

"Nothing much. He mentioned he was surprised to see our staff volunteering at the orphanage, that's all. How was your meeting?"

"Hmph, you get three guesses, and the first two don't count."

"Oh," the sweet taste of success — I've taught him a sense of humour. "You're learning!" I peck his nose in delight as I follow him in. "Anyway, what's new?"

"They wish to restart the reactors, as you have surely heard."

Yes, I've heard the discussions, but "Weren't some of them found unsafe?"

"They fixed those."

"And the rest?"

Yamato's smile is thinner than tracing paper and thrice as sharp. "They want us to check."

"…you're serious." We're not nuclear technicians.

"Always. They've performed inspections, and everything looks safe for now, but they want a prediction of when they'll need replacements."

As far as ideas go, it is not entirely unsound, but this is the sort of decision we should be referring to experts, not demons. You'd think we were back in the Heian era.

More importantly, "Surely, you've warned them that the future isn't set in stone, and this is a huge risk to take?"

A Look is all the answer I need. Despite that warning, if anything changes that throws the predictions off —or even if they also get a scientific assessment, which I sincerely hope they will for a second opinion, and follow the experts' recommendations instead— they will blame any resulting disaster on us. I take it that's the point — perhaps this is revenge. But a vengeance that gambles the lives of millions is selfish folly. This is something I will have to deal with.

"I guess we're not going for takoyaki tonight." I unpack his lunch with a grimace as he logs into his computer.

He shrugs, removing his gloves. "We can still go. We shouldn't skip meals, and it won't take long."

A demon that tells the future… After some thought, I use his computer to look up Gemori in our archives. She's sealed in Takarazuka, about an hour's drive from the Kyoto branch.

"Do we need any preparations to unseal Gemori?"

Yamato smiles, approving, as he starts eating. "According to our records, she answers the call of true love."

"Well, then I'm sure she'll come to us." I mirror his smile as I accept an offered wing. "You know, if we weren't working right now, I'd kneel between your knees and—" I suck his fingers into my mouth, swirl my tongue around them, lick the sauce off slowly, and his breath hitches. He groans my name, and I smirk. "I hear there's an amazing spa resort in Takarazuka. Shall we stay the night?"

Bursting into laughter, he tugs me down for a kiss. "That's my Hibiki… How very devious of you."


	24. Love And Other Treasures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of the year now that I've recovered and returned! If you haven't, be sure to check out the new and beautiful [cover art](http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/shinigami_yumi/SabrinaCommission3800x600font_micehellwd_zpslf8kj5ya.jpg) by [MicehellWD](https://www.facebook.com/MicehellwdIllustration), a lovely [fanmix](http://8tracks.com/corporal/clairvoyance) by [Kresnik](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kresnik/pseuds/Kresnik) and a gorgeous [scene illustration](http://40.media.tumblr.com/b5caee43afc6cef1f0a2ddd597aabedb/tumblr_nzrlhnKB6x1sm9eano1_1280.jpg) by [swimmin](http://swimmingrat.tumblr.com)! ♥ Thank you all for your continued support, and I look forward to hearing from you some more!

It is _freezing_ the day we go to summon Gemori, and I'm shivering before Yamato has even keyed in the release code despite all the layers of warm clothing. When nothing happens, I turn to suggest that we come back tomorrow when it might be less windy, but then Yamato folds me in his arms, and it's warm when I cling to him.

It seems a wasteful use of his power, but I'm honoured by his choice.

"Hotsuin, your impudence is unchanged through the generations," says a beautiful voice as a lady riding a camel chooses that moment to appear before us. "I know why you have come. I know all things, after all. Shall I answer the questions you came for or the ones in your heart?"

Yamato's eyes widen, then he says, "Both," but…

"How do I know if it's the truth?"

The demon turns to me. "That is rather rude, h—" She stops, looks more closely, then, "Hmph… Well, well… perhaps this is destiny." She laughs with a hint of wonder. "You have shown me something amazing."

Yamato raises an eyebrow, and she turns to him. "Once, it was said that if the son of Adam were granted the world, he would still covet more. You, Hotsuin, are different from your predecessors. Your heart's desire is already within your grasp, but it is in your nature to forfeit it."

Sighing, "Still, despite your lack of respect, I will help you," she continues, glancing at me. "Consider it a token of my esteem for a love anyone would die for. And I do not deceive."

A love anyone would die for? Does that mean Yamato…?

"Yes."

Oh, I don't even have to say the question aloud. Then, _Will the judgement of Polaris come again?_

"That is an unchangeable certainty."

I frown. _When?_

"That has not been decided."

Yamato catches on, and whatever it is he's wondering, her answer is also "yes," "always," then "yes" again.

He gets down to business then, asking these questions aloud for my benefit, and I shelve my anxieties, huddling miserably into his side for warmth as I take notes. The truth is I can't keep worrying about our deadline, and I already know what to do when the time comes.

"Well then," Gemori says when we reach the end of our list. "It is time for me to return to sleep."

Yamato nods. "Thank you for your assistance."

Chuckling, she murmurs, "We merely had an agreement." Our eyes meet. "Yours is a perilous path, humans, but tread carefully, and you may yet find the future you seek."

She fades, and Yamato renews the seal before leading me back to the car. For an early dinner, we warm up over a hearty local speciality —mountain boar hotpot— and, despite his exasperation, he indulges my "maudlin" idea of sharing a long noodle into a kiss, even lets me snap a wefie —and explain the term— because "we don't have any cute pictures together." When we adjourn to the spa resort, he lets me pick out every service we have time for, and I wonder if it's all part of him making my earlier misery up to me.

First up is a hair and scalp treatment and massage, and I reassure Yamato that it's okay to relax here, then watch fondly as his discomfort at physical contact with strangers melts away under the therapist's skillful fingers. He blinks awake afterwards and follows me to the spa pools, noting the multiple options with growing fascination. Once we've tried them all, we head to a room for other therapists to polish our skin —his to a luminous glow— and it's not till we've rinsed off and moved on to cuddling in the natural hot spring that he decides he likes the squeaky clean feeling. Finally, we dry off on beds of heated rock salt before ending with a massage —Yamato's first time for pleasure rather than treatment— and I'm glad when I glance left midway through to find his eyes closed and expression relaxed.

We leave at closing with some smoothies and snacks, and by the time we reach our room at the nearby ryokan, all I want to do is fall into the futon, but Yamato, of course, immediately changes and starts working on his laptop.

 _Oh, come on._ I change into the provided yukata as well before joining him at the desk, sliding into his lap to wind my arms around his neck. "We're supposed to be on break, you know. Or do you not trust my note-taking?"

Turning to me after tapping a few more keys, my workaholic smirks. "The better for you to distract me."

Well then. I had every intention of just spooning him to sleep tonight, but far be it from me to undermine his attempt at seduction — I wouldn't want him to stop trying.

Giggling, I rub our noses. "Are you encouraging me, Chief?"

"No." He pulls a glove off with his teeth to reel me in for a kiss. "You need no such thing."

Of that we are in agreement, and he reaches for the sash on my yukata as I undo his. His skin is soft and fragrant from the spa, and I nuzzle my way down, nosing fabric out of the way as I kneel between his knees.

"It was wrong of me to tease you so many days before," I murmur, letting my yukata fall away. I kiss a trail from his left knee up his inner thigh, and his breath hitches sharply.

"Hibiki—" His voice chokes off when I renew my mark there, and he trembles as I nudge his knees further apart. We've let the marks fade for today's spa session, and I've yet to make good on the hook I used to bait him into this — we're _always_ working, after all.

So I mouth my way up his right thigh, tracing feather-light circles over the mark I made. He's leaking by the time I take him into my mouth, and I swirl my tongue around him, lick his seed off slowly like I promised. Looking up at the muffled sound of pleasure, I find his eyes squeezed shut — he's biting his lip, gripping the chair tightly, so I grab his hands, guide them to my hair as I keep going, and he moans loudly, hips jerking and head falling back.

Gods, I want— "Direct me," I whisper, then lick a stripe up the underside. "Tell me what you want. Tell me what to do."

He groans, "I tell you what to do all the time, Hibiki."

I suck at the sensitive ridge just below the head, and he cries out. "Then you want to switch places with me?"

Something sparks in violet eyes. "I…" His eyes flutter closed as I take him all the way and swallow around him.

Pulling off audibly, I tease, "You want me to read your mind?"

"Hmph. That's impossible."

"Yes. I wish I could, too. I want to know what you're thinking all the time. But," I hold both hands out to him in invitation, "if that is your wish, then come to bed and let me try."

He stands, taking my hands, and lifts me to my feet, then suddenly pushes me into the chair. "Is it good?" he asks softly, shrugging off the yukata before sitting in seiza at my feet. "Being told what to do?"

My heart skips a beat.

"It's easy." Leaning down, I tilt his chin up to kiss him. "You don't have to think. That's why so many people are sheep, right?" He rests his head on my knee, and I card my fingers through his hair, soothing. "Sheep worry about themselves and eat the grass in front of them. The shepherd worries about the whole herd, whether there will be grass tomorrow, and his own life on top of that."

Frowning, he questions, "How can you enjoy being sheep?"

I shake my head. "Every now and then, easy is nice, relaxing. But you can't really stop thinking unless you completely trust the person that's doing the thinking for you."

Yamato falls into pensive silence, removing his other glove. At length, he closes his eyes and turns in to kiss the side of my knee. "Show me," he whispers, and I—

I can't speak. Light-headedness is setting in — I must have forgotten to breathe. "Kiss me," I manage at last, and he does, his lips soft, almost reverent. "Slowly. All the way."

Emulating my earlier move, he kisses his way up one thigh while tracing circles up the other. Then he's— Heaven knows this isn't the first time we've done this, but—

"Hold me."

Yamato cups my sacs with one hand, strokes the base with the other, slides his tongue along the ridges much like a kiss. I gasp his name, and our eyes meet, his half-lidded ones brimming with raw emotion through silver lashes, and I—

"Deeper," I breathe, and I want to be more specific like I should, but I can barely think. He doesn't hesitate, makes a familiar desperate sound. _Oh. Gods,_ "Yamato, are you—?"

He only hums, and— "Ahgn!"

Crap — as the haze of orgasm fades, I realize he's coughing, and my grip in his hair is probably painful.

"I'm sorry." I slide off the chair to embrace him. "I'm sorry." We've made a mess, but it's beautiful. "Thank you."

He shakes his head, nuzzling my neck. "You pulled me away when you—" He coughs again.

I stand and pour him a cup of tea, snag a condom from our bags before returning to him — we've messed up the room enough. Sitting, I tug him into my lap and press my lips into the pulse point behind his ear. He leans into me, offering me the rest of his tea, and I down it before setting the cup aside. When I kiss him, I clean off milky tendrils with my tongue, taste myself on his lips, stroke him as I roll the sheath over him, and he moans into the kiss, thrusting into my hand.

"I've always wanted to know," I murmur, mouthing my way down as I shift him so he's sprawled across my lap. "If I—" I lap up a bit of white on a nipple, swirling my tongue around it, and he jerks — they're so sensitive when he's aroused.

He whines when I move my hand away to strum my knuckles over the right nub. Then I switch over, pinching one lightly as I suck the other.

"Ngh…" He arches into the contact, head falling back as I let my teeth rake lightly over it as I pull off. "Hibiki…" Switching sides again, I flick one with the tip of my tongue before suckling on it too as I continue pinching and rubbing the other, and his toes curl. "Ah-ah-ahh…"

I pull him flush against me once more, align my cock into the crease of his arse, and he shivers, goes pliant in my arms. Nipping along the shell of his ear, I flick each nipple with my fingers in turn, and his hips buck ineffectually.

As I tug on them gently, I ask, "Can you come just from this?"

His answer is lost in a desperate mewl, so I switch to tracing his areolae in featherlight circles. When he opens his mouth as if to speak, I run the pads of my thumbs over the tips, and all that escapes is a cry of pleasure.

"Hm?" I nose the graceful curve of his slender neck, still teasing with both hands — they might be a bit sore later.

With a grunt of frustration, he reaches back to bury a hand in my hair, turning his head and yanking mine nearer to plunder my mouth fiercely. I tug both nubs with a sharp pinch-twist off the end, and he cries out into the kiss as he climaxes.

Gods, I want him.

As always, he quickly catches his breath, but doesn't move, content for the moment to cover my hands with his own and let me hold him close. After several moments, I nudge him, and we stand, relocating to the futon. He discards the used condom into the waste basket as we pass, then we settle into the soft bedding together.

Yamato has always been beautiful, with his refined features, muscular yet slim body and flawless skin that seems luminous even under the silver of his lustrous hair and long lashes. It seems a shame, but "Blindfold me," I murmur, pressing one of the yukata sashes into his hands.

Yamato is curious at heart — if I want to pique his interest in something, I only have to ask to experience it personally.

"Why?"

Still, he wouldn't go along with all my adventurous flights of fancy if he didn't so greatly enjoy our sexual intimacy.

"You know how blind people often have a stronger sense of smell, touch or hearing?"

"Ah, shutting off one sense often sharpens the others, yes…" Yamato nods. "You think it will enhance your experience."

Grinning as I turn him towards me, I add, "I'd ask you to plug my ears too, but I like hearing you too much."

He laughs softly. "Would ear plugs make a difference? You always say the whole building would hear me anyway."

"You know I love that about you," I tell him, capturing his lips.

The pad of his thumb traces my cheekbone, the trail of his fingertips winds through my hair, and something's different today — Yamato always kisses like it means something, but now, he takes the free time he doesn't have; slow, he holds me down, caressing my tongue with his own. His skin is like satin, sliding softer over me than the fine sheets we're lying on, and I close my eyes, savour the rare languor.

Of all the things we do, this is my favourite — an expression of affection rather than desire. I'm happy that I _matter_ —once Yamato decides something matters, it's worth every sacrifice— as Gemori says, a love anyone would die for.

"Does it get boring?" he whispers over my lips when we part for air, and I look up in question. "What we do," he clarifies, lowering his gaze. "Is that why you keep finding new things to try?"

What? "No!" Yamato flinches away from my horrified outburst, and I lower my voice. "Of course not. How could you think that? I'd never tire of you."

He huffs a laugh. "Well, it has not even been a year. I'd hate to think myself so dull." Shifting down, he rests his head over my heart. "But everything fades eventually. Novelty expires. Challenges become easy. Even change, when constant, becomes routine. I used to like playing chess; now, I don't much care for it. What makes you think your feelings, or mine, won't change next year or ten years from now?"

It hurts.

Even though I know Yamato is just being his usual paranoid self, it hurts that he's thinking like this already.

"My apologies." He wraps his arms around me and leans up to press his lips to my jaw — he must have felt my silenced sob. "My words were… clumsy. Perhaps I inadvertently misled you. Nothing has changed between us, Hibiki. You need not be so upset."

I hold him tightly to me, shaking my head — I haven't misunderstood, but it pains me to hear it all the same. Still, I take comfort in his placating apology — once, my sentiments would have been the least of his concerns.

"I don't," is what I settle for at last. I must give him an answer — I can't let this fester.

"Hm?"

"Think our feelings won't change, I mean." I'm always afraid they will. "But that's a risk everyone takes." I take a moment to structure my thoughts before elaborating. "Everyone who loves does so because the present joy outweighs the future pain. Even if nothing changes, and we remain together, one of us will have to watch the other die someday. We choose to face that loss because the time we had before it is worth that eventuality."

Yamato smiles into my cheek. "Yes. Knowing I could lose you any day makes me cherish you more."

I sigh, and he leans back to cup my face in his hands and look me in the eyes. "Was it something I said?"

"Yes," I tell him honestly, "but I'm happy. Even if I lost you tomorrow, I would be grateful that you cherished me today."

Violet eyes soften. "You won't. If it's any comfort, Gemori said the same."

"You asked?"

He shakes his head, settling atop me. "The thought crossed my mind fleetingly, and she answered."

I smile, kissing the crown of his head. "It's true though — everything changes. Some couples divorce even after decades of marriage. How can anyone say they will love someone tomorrow because they love that person today?"

"Hibiki, if—"

"No, no," I take his hands in mine, lace our fingers. "Hear me out. I just… I have a thought."

He shifts, so we're lying side by side and facing each other, and chuckles. "I suppose, since I started this topic, I owe it to you to let you continue."

That's not how it works, but I don't digress. "What is it that you love, Yamato? A human called Kuze Hibiki, or a set of characteristics that make up the person before you?"

Yamato disentangles one hand to trace idle shapes into the small of my back, clearly deep in thought.

"I don't think relationships last because people and their feelings or preferences stay the same. Just as you and I changed so much in the span of a few days or years, no one can remain the same for decades."

"I see." He smiles fondly. "You posit that both people and their feelings and preferences change, so a given relationship lasts when the set of characteristics that make up each partner changes in tandem with the other's feelings and preferences."

I mirror his expression, twining our legs. "Right. To use your earlier example, back when you played chess, perhaps the partner you sought was your best opponent." If I've hit a little too close to the mark, he doesn't show it. "Now that you don't much care for the game, you seek someone who supports and understands your current goals and ideals. Representative Haneda once told me that, at our age, she only cared about fashion trends and pop idols."

He grimaces, but doesn't interrupt.

"I imagine that the ideal partner she sought then isn't the same as the one her husband embodies now. So, no, I don't expect that we, our feelings, or our preferences in partners will remain the same. I just hope that we will each continue to evolve into what the other seeks throughout our lives."

"Yes…" he agrees, hand slipping to the back of my knee, and a frisson runs up my spine. "As it stands, that is my hope as well… I am rather fond of the form these characteristics have taken before me."

"Oh, if you keep talking like that, I'm sure you'll always have me." I grin, coquettish. "So… blindfold?"

With an exasperated sound, he tugs me closer. "Was that the entire point?"

"No, no, no." I peck him on the lips, adoring. "I just wanted to hear you say you'll always love me."

"As you say, there's no way of knowing that I will," he sighs, but his eyes are gentle and his tone heartfelt. "But when I'm with you, I want to."

I— "Yamato, please." I need him. I need to feel him. "Please."

He takes the other sash and hands it to me before opening another condom and rolling it onto me. "Should we blindfold each other?"

Hiding a triumphant smile, I wind it around his eyes, accommodating him as he does the same to me. Unseeing, I guide his face till our lips meet — his lips are soft, but a bit chapped in places, his hair like silk fanning over my face. Instead of the usual cologne, the herbaceous scent of the spa's massage oil blends with his natural light musk. Running my hands over planes of smooth muscle, I count the quickening of his pulse, feel him shift for comfort as sore nipples chafe my skin, hear his breaths go ragged by my ear — a new hyper-awareness of him.

As my fingers slide down the ridges of his spine, his legs part in invitation, and his erection aligns next to mine. "Hibiki," he moans as my touch trails further down, and I feel the twitch of his cock, the jerk of his hips, the heat of his skin — I'm always moved that he allows me this, that I'm the first to see this side of him.

I fumble for the lube, but my searching hand finds what must be the warming massage oil I bought earlier instead. I open it, and the spicy aroma tells me I'm right. 

Huh. I can work with this.

Carefully, finding the spot with my fingertips, I slowly pour a few drops directly onto his entrance, and he jumps a bit, gasps, the grip of his hands tightening on my knees. I kiss his neck with a reassuring hush as I continue, one slow drop at a time, and he squirms, his breaths staccato, and it's incredibly sexy.

"You know, I heard there's a new toy that's connected to a phone app over wi-fi. You can tell it how to vibrate using the app from anywhere in the world as long as you have an Internet connection. Should we get one?"

That cracks him up, but his laugh is cut short by a sound of pleasure as I press in. "So we can leave each other sexually frustrated on a regular basis?" he manages to ask breathlessly, taking the oil from me and flipping us over.

I groan as he does the same, opening me up with dexterous fingers. "Do you think me so cruel, or are you projecting? I'd never leave you unsatisfied."

"And I'd worry my overly popular lover will be jumped in a moment of weakness."

Despite his teasing tone, despite the stretch of his fingers, I stiffen. "Do you mean that?"

His hands still. "I— No, I don't suspect you."

"But you'd worry if—" I nip at his left areola, and despite the weight of our conversation, he clenches around my fingers. "I swore, Yamato. I swore, and I meant it. Yours. Only yours. Always. I don't want anyone else like this."

He pecks me on the cheek — I feel his smirk on my skin. "It was unkind of me to provoke you just to hear you say that again." Suddenly, his breath hitches. "Ah, it's hot…"

It is, an interesting sensation. I think I like it.

Still, I frown, splaying my fingers. "It was silly. You need only ask." Well, I guess that makes us even. "Hot in a bad way?"

"No," he replies, voice soft, and I imagine the flush of his creamy skin, the way he'd lower his eyes. "I like it."

"Good." I shift, smearing some oil onto his nipples before turning and positioning myself. "Yamato, just ask, and I'll tell you as often as you wish." I lower myself onto him, take him inside me — it hurts, but I'm used to it, and the slick heat adds another layer of sensation. "Ahh, I hope you never tire of me, so I can always be yours and yours alone."

Beneath me, he groans my name, holding my hips to help. The fullness, the pressure on my prostate starts to blur in, and I whimper as I slide the rest of the way down. He gathers me close, rubs the turn of my hip, and peppers my skin with kisses like he's trying to erase my suffering. That's easy though — he's just proven he can still manipulate me if he so wished, but I know that's the kind of control he needs, the kind that makes it feel safe to surrender occasionally.

I roll us over, and he doesn't hesitate, rocking his hips into me, his angle ever precise. He leaves the usual marks all over my neck and shoulders where my shirt and hair will hide them, and every nip, every bite, every groove his nails dig into my skin intensify the pleasure of him hitting my sweet spot over and over again, and I can only writhe and keen, fingers curling in the sheets.

"Hibiki, my Hibiki," he mouths into the back of my neck, voice a little hoarse. "Tell me, swear it to me every day. You're mine, you're mine, you're mine," punctuated by perfectly aimed thrusts. "No one can take you away from me."

"I—I'm yours," I agree in a breathy moan as he brings me closer to the edge. "Yamato, a—ah…"

He nips at my earlobe, gasps, "I don't want anyone else either." He trails kisses down to suck a mark into my shoulder, hands sliding down my arms to lace our fingers. "I want to be only yours. H—Hibiki—!"

His hips stutter as liquid heat sears stars into the darkness, and I cry out as pleasure spills over. I tremble as he slows but doesn't stop — it's still so _good._ There are health reasons we shouldn't bareback, I know, but I love it when he spills inside me, when his seed fills me — hot, wet and possessive. I love that we often fall asleep still joined, that he often wakes up in the mood for a brief continuation.

He's mumbling when I come down from it, "—s a part of me is angry you never ask that of me."

Chuckling, I turn my face to kiss his cheek. "You want me to be unreasonable?"

"No." Holding me tightly, he rolls us to lie on our sides, spooning. "Yes. Sometimes."

Shaking my head, I lift the hand still holding mine and press my lips to his knuckles. "It's enough for me to know that your heart is mine alone."

"It is," Yamato answers with neither doubt nor hesitation, and this, I think, is happiness.


	25. To Tame Your Wild, Wild Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. I got distracted writing an AU about Hibiki being Yamato's tattoo artist, which you may have recently seen. In any case, I hope you enjoy. Let me know!

_After securing Trumpeter's cooperation, we split up to search for Benetnasch, and I find Yamato on Ebisu Bridge again. Maybe he's fond of the place — he seems to end up here a lot. He's standing over a dying man who gives him a piece of candy meant for his daughter as I approach._

_"Incompetent, huh?" He stares down at the piece of candy, conflicted, then notices me. "Hibiki… Do you believe I have the right to accept this?"_

_Is that… remorse? Self-doubt? "Only you have that right," I tell him firmly. Despite his methods, he has spent his entire life trying to protect us._

_"...I see." He doesn't seem comforted. "I don't know. Is it too late to understand how civilians think?"_

_Lost in thought, he silently walks away, and I hesitate before jogging to catch up and loop my arm through his._

_"It's never too late," I insist._

_"Incompetent…" Yamato shakes his head as we walk back towards the Osaka Main Branch. "I would have let him die. In my ideal world, he would be among the first to go."_

_I lean into his side. "He was incompetent at his job because he was in the wrong job. This poorly structured world just wants everyone to fit into the same few boxes it has built."_

_He glances at me. "Interesting… You think he would have been competent if he'd had a job that suited him better."_

_"Look at it this way. Fumi is a scientist, Keita is a boxer, and Hinako is a dancer, right? So Keita wouldn't be able to dance, Hinako wouldn't be able to solve complex science problems, and Fumi wouldn't be able to box. Perhaps if you gave them a decade to learn, they'd manage. But Fumi would maybe box half as well as Keita, Keita would maybe dance half as well as Hinako, and Hinako would maybe be half the scientist Fumi is. Imagine you had met them in this alternate world — would you consider them incompetent?"_

_Yamato doesn't answer, but I can see he has begun to think._

_"Imagine that just as you, as a Hotsuin, knew no choice but to lead JP’s, Keita's family didn't abandon him and instead forced him to go to university and study to be a scientist. This happened often in the previous world. Did you know Hinako was forced to be a dancer? Fortunately, she is very talented at it and eventually came to enjoy it. But imagine that had been Airi instead. Hinako has been trying to teach her to dance with very limited success. What if Airi had been forced to choose dance instead of piano? Would you call her incompetent and write her off as flawed?"_

_Violet eyes widen. "I see… You may be right — perhaps I have oversimplified the problems that plagued this broken world."_

_I smile — we're making progress. "Knowing this, I believe you would sacrifice yourself to protect even them. Even seeing the world as rotten, even cursing your name and birth, you have already sacrificed so much to protect us all." Taking the hand still holding the piece of candy in my own, I fold gloved fingers over it. "That's why I think only you have the right to accept this. That's why I always believed in you."_

_He finally cracks a smile as well, covering our joined hands with his other one. "How civilians think… In the world you desire, the world you claim to be superior to my ideals, perhaps you can show me."_

_"It would be my honour," I murmur, squeezing his hand as we lean closer, but then my cellphone rings. Damn it, it's Daichi — "Benetnasch has been spotted by Akasaka Palace."_

_"Let us be going then." Yamato doesn't seem to share my chagrin, leading me in a brisk walk now. "You should have this," he adds, pressing the piece of candy into my hand."_

_"Y—"_

_He shakes his head, cutting my protest off. "You're the one with a sweet tooth, right? I always see you eating the sweet items among the food supplies."_

_"It's so I don't run out of sweet things to say." I get a confused look in response and shake my head. "It's a joke." I forget that only Hinako ever goes along with my lamer ones. "I do like sweets, yes. I'm flattered you noticed."_

_"Ha… I have been watching you, after all." Before I can use the opening to flirt, he sighs. "Was it our competence that allowed civilians to become so complacent? I said I have no qualms about making sacrifices for Japan, but is that what spoiled them? They never had to take action because the government did so for them… like domesticating a wild species, we have bred them to be sheep."_

_I ponder this as we make our way through the branch, then ask, "Were sheep domesticated by building the perfect farm? Or by conditioning them not to defy their shepherds?"_

_He glances at me, pensive, then says, "You make a compelling point. It suits corrupt and unworthy leaders to keep the masses complacent and docile."_

_"We should teach people to take responsibility for their lives instead of telling them everything will be fine as long as they obey the rules. Abandoning them when the rules break down will only get them killed before they can learn enough. Our protectors doing a poorer job would be neither productive nor efficient. Who would be left to lead by example?"_

_"Hah!" We've reached the Terminal room, and Yamato keys in the code for Tokyo. "Us, of course. Are we not the only ones left now?"_

_It'd be funny if it weren't true. "Still, perhaps it's true that the safety of our environment leaves us unprepared for danger." The Terminal activates, and I wonder if I'll ever get used to being broken down into data and reconstructed. I don't get queasy like Daichi, but I wouldn't describe the sensation as pleasant either._

_"Then what of you?" he asks as we arrive, catching me when I stumble. "You were raised a civilian, same as the others, yet you are thriving where the others have fallen."_

_Instead of finding my footing, I lean into his almost-embrace. "I don't think I could claim to be less complacent or better at surviving. I simply discovered a knack for demon summoning and work well with people. Anyone can grow, change or adapt, but everyone has different talents. It just so happens that mine are particularly relevant to this crisis." I hold up the piece of candy in my hand — it's a peach gummy. "Have you tasted this before?"_

_"No."_

_I open it as I straighten. "Then we should share." I bite off one half and offer him the other._

_"I've never been especially fond of sweets," he protests, but still obliges my imploring look._

_Giggling as we head to the exit, I tell him, "Love of the half-eaten peach never dies, you know," hoping he'll recognize the reference, that he'll take it for the come on it is._

_It takes a second, but then his expression softens for a moment before he smirks. "Well, then I expect we have nothing to worry about in the battle ahead."_

_It's not me I'm worried about —he should still be injured from our earlier fight, even if it's minor enough to shrug off— but even hinting that he should sit this one out would be considered an insult._

_"Oh, what was it you said…" I wrap an arm around his waist, grinning when he reciprocates. "Anyone who challenges me other than you is a fool?"_

_Yamato laughs heartily, open affection in his eyes. "My, my… Such a sharp tongue you've developed. Perhaps my praise has made you vainglorious? Still, you have always backed up your lofty words."_

_Well, now I have extra incentive to make it through this — maybe, tonight, we can exchange different promises. "Let's get this over with."_

_Smiling, he inclines his head as we march towards Akasaka Palace. "We shall."_

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Ronaldo and his friends have perfect timing — on the day of the vote to repeal the disputed bills, another scandal erupts involving a group of Representatives and their affiliated companies. I must admit I'm impressed by their investigative work — they managed to uncover a lot of evidence once they knew what to look for. Charges are pressed —mostly embezzlement, fraud and insider trading— and the "suspects" arrested.

On top of the Opposition wins in the by-elections following the previous scandal and reshuffle, the absences nullify the ruling coalition's majority in the Lower House. With a major faction voting our way, the motion to table the vote fails, and the political wheel spins ruthlessly onward. By the time Yamato and I return from Takarazuka, the excitement has passed with the vote, and the bills are accordingly repealed as unconstitutional to widespread public celebration.

Naturally, at the next meeting of the Board of Oversight and Review of Specially Designated Secrets, we are commanded to keep an eye on North Korea. We will, of course — that's not something we need to be told, what with all the news of space launches and hydrogen bombs. Yamato would never let any harm that he could prevent befall us, and I would trust him over anyone in government any day.

Meanwhile, I keep a closer eye on the scandal victims and their associates — I can't allow them even the opportunity to act against us. For now, it doesn't appear that anyone suspects my involvement, but that doesn't mean things won't change, and we can't afford to be careless — I learned that the hard way. I also uphold my end of the bargain — the faction leader gets the corporate secret he wanted. It's the formula to a new drug the company will be patenting soon, supposedly one that has shown promise in slowing the progression of Alzheimer's. If they end up in a drawn out patent war, I might have to leak it on the public domain — the drug companies may be able to afford years in and out of the courts just for the right to keep prices high, but we'll be losing people to dementia every day in the meantime.

Regular JP’s work never ends, of course, so today brings me back to Aichi prefecture. There have been a string of missing children cases in the outskirts of Toyokawa recently, an hour away from Nagoya, and our scanners have picked up some activity in the nearby mountains. I suspect it's a Yamanba or several on the loose, nothing major, but I bring an assault team and a decon team with me just in case — it doesn't pay to be overconfident in these matters.

After about two hours of searching up the mountain path, I come to the realization that we've been walking in circles — there's some kind of confounding spell on the surrounding forest. After some thought as we pause to rest, I conclude that none of the demons I can summon presently are known for finding lost objects, people or places. On the other hand, I can think of at least one with the same modus operandi — getting people lost in the wilderness and spiriting children away. Perhaps we can beat Yamanba at her own game.

Summoning Oberon, I tell him the problem and watch him go from polite attention to his most unimpressed look — if he were more like a modern human, he would probably roll his eyes and scoff something like, "Bah, amateurs." With a twirl on glittery wings, something changes around us, and he beckons for us to follow as he flits along the mountain path, rapier in hand. This time, we find ourselves at a clearing with a small cave at one end. A dishevelled old woman with long white hair hobbles out as we approach, using a gnarled wooden staff as a cane. The only real giveaway is her ears — they're sharper and pointier than Oberon's.

As soon as she spots the fairy, she shrieks, dropping the cane to lunge at him as knives appear in her hands. "They're mine! They're mine! Foreign intruder, begone! You shan't take them! You shan't take them from me!"

We watch a quick scuffle between the witch and the fairy, ending in a thunderous Ziodyne that vaporises Yamanba, then exchange glances in the ensuing quiet.

"Um… is that it?" asks Agent Kamiki beside me.

"A most unpleasant greeting, but I sense no one else about," Oberon replies politely, voice deep in contrast to his size.

"Why don't you and your team stand guard at the entrance, Agent Horikawa? Agent Kamiki's team and I are going in to see if the children are there."

He salutes. "Yes, Vice Chief."

The agents take out their flashlights, and we enter the cave. Search as we might, though, we find nothing of note besides ten jars of sake — nine sealed and one half empty.

"I told you I sensed no one," Oberon says pointedly, arms crossed.

I pat the fairy king on the back placatingly. "We can't file our report without conducting a thorough search though."

"You humans," he sighs. "Still so bureaucratic."

"Do you sense any humans further down the mountain?" Maybe the children, and their kidnappers as well, simply got lost in the earlier illusion.

The fairy flies a bit higher and concentrates, stretching his magical senses. "None," he reports at length. "A few local spirits, nothing more."

I thank and dismiss him, then call the Nagoya branch.

"Yes, sir?"

"No children here. Anything else on our scanners?"

"Hmm… No, sir, the surrounding area is clear."

A job for the Aichi Prefectural Police then. We never should have been called in.

"Thank you." I hang up and turn to the others. "Well, looks like we're on JP’s first free hiking trip! Let's have a picnic before we head back."

We sit down, unpack our lunches and discuss the risks of helping ourselves to the witch's wine stash. In the end, Agent Hirota takes the dare, opens a sealed jar and helps himself to a cup of perfectly ordinary sake. I really shouldn't be condoning this sort of recklessness, but there hadn't been anything abnormal about the jars when we inspected them earlier.

As we're packing up to leave, Yamato calls. "Hey Chief."

Everyone falls silent and sits up a little straighter.

"Kuze, we need to discuss next week's Diet meetings." All work and no play, as always. "What is your ETA?"

"Give me a couple of hours. It was a wild goose chase. We're climbing down the mountain."

"Hmph." Someone will get a talking to for wasting our time and resources by not checking this thoroughly. "Come to my office when you return." As if I'd go anywhere else first.

He hangs up, and I text him, "I miss you too."

There's no reply, but in my mind's eye, I can see him sighing in fond exasperation. Pocketing my phone, I tell the others, "He wants me in a meeting as soon as I get back," with a hint of chagrin.

"Tough life," Agent Shinobu says with a laugh. "I still don't know how Vice Chief Sako used to do it all by herself."

"Dedication, Misovitan D and no social life?" I suggest, and everyone snorts.

"C'mon, guys, let's get going," Agent Kamiki calls, tapping her foot by the pathway. "You know what the Chief's like when we're late."

The hike down goes much more quickly, but of course we're also not getting lost this time. We reach the base of the mountain in about forty-five minutes, are driven back to Toyohashi Station, then catch the train to Nagoya because it arrives first — it's about the same amount of time in either direction anyway. I spend the hour or so responding to e-mails and reading reports, then move on to checking my stock to see if I can improve my demons' abilities as we transfer to the subway to get closer to the Nagoya branch.

I'm just exiting the Compendium function to fuse a new Mitama when the ground starts shaking.

Suddenly, there's a thunderous rumble around us.

Next thing I know, the train brakes screech. Everyone flies back, and reflex has me hanging on — thankfully, my arms were already wrapped around a pole. It's like déjà vu, and I grip my phone tightly as screaming people hurtle past.

Then, a shattering crash — walls crumple, windows splinter, as the train tilts, derails, collapses, and I'm hitting the summon command without even checking which demon it is.

_Oh Gods. Yamato. Please._

I squeeze my eyes shut and brace for impact.


	26. Hope & Sacrifice

I don't open my eyes until it's quiet.

It's pitch dark.

I can hear electric sparks in the periphery, but I can't see much in just my cellphone's backlight. Ubelluris straightens, breaking easily through the damaged metal, then sets me down by his feet before tearing the mostly crushed train carriage apart for us to get out.

But I only slump to the floor.

It's not even the floor. What's left of the train is lying on its side, and I'm sitting on a bit of wall. I hug my knees and take deep breaths, trying to get a grip. Despite Ubelluris curling around me to shield me from the impact, I feel sorely bruised, but most of all, I feel numb inside — shell shock, I guess they'd call it.

The only possible survivors are the other JP's agents, and I don't see any other cellphone backlights in the surrounding darkness, so my guess is I'm alone. It was sheer providence that I was checking my demons at the time — the others didn't even get the chance to activate the summoning app. Maybe if we had just waited a few more minutes for the train back to Tokyo instead—

I jump, nearly drop the phone, when it rings.

That's when I notice my hands are shaking. I run a hand through my hair and take another deep breath before trying to answer — it's Yamato again.

"Kuze! A massive earthquake just hit Nagoya—"

"Yes, I know. I'm right here."

My voice is hoarse, but at least it's steady. In the background on his end, I hear people shouting orders and updates, but I can't make any sentences out.

"What? Sit-rep, now."

"I—" I muffle my gasp with my hand. "I don't know. I'm stuck underground. It's pitch dark here. I can't see anything. All I know is the Sakuradori subway line is out. The train crashed. I think the tunnel collapsed."

The background noise fades — he must have walked to a less busy area. "Hibiki, are you— Are you injured?"

Yamato's quiet concern breaks the shock, and I— A loud sob escapes as I start bawling into my knees.

"Hibiki. Hibiki?" A note of panic inflects the last.

 _Oops. No, no, no. Don't panic._ Letting out a final, shuddering breath, I lean back into what's left of a seat and pull myself together, willfully slowing my breathing. "I'm fine," I manage, sniffling a little as I wipe my face with my sleeve. "I'm fine. I'm sorry. I just… I just needed the catharsis."

"But no injuries at all? Are you certain?"

I'm shaking my head before I realize he can't see me. "I… hurt all over, but I don't detect any wounds. I managed to summon a demon in time, so I'm just shaken and bruised, I think, but I… I doubt anyone else made it." It's too late to consider what-ifs now.

"Ha… Impressive as always," he says, but it's more relief than awe, and he still sounds worried when he asks if I need any assistance. To be honest, just the sound of his voice is calming, a source of strength and resolve. The background noise is back though —he's probably returned to the command centre— and I hear an agent trying to get his attention. He needs to get back to work.

"I don't know," I tell him again as I climb to my feet. "Pretty sure the power's down, so it should be safe to look around. I don't know how bad the tunnel collapse is, but I'm going to try to get out. I'll call you when I reach the surface?"

Reluctantly, he says, "All right. Be careful," hesitating a beat before hanging up, and I immediately close every other program besides the summoning app to conserve battery life. I don't know long I'm going to be stuck here, after all.

Summoning Amaterasu for light, I let Ubelluris help me out of the wreckage and start walking in the opposite direction that the train was heading. Hopefully, the tunnel only caved in on one side, or there's an emergency exit I can reach. With the goddess now shining brightly beside me, I can finally pause for a good look at my surroundings, and it really is like déjà vu — the train totalled, commuters lying dead, some in bloody pieces, broken wires sparking, the tracks broken or twisted, debris and gore everywhere.

I feel sick.

Looking away, I ask Amaterasu if she senses any survivors just in case, but it's as I expected. So I continue walking between the rails, letting Amaterasu lead the way about a metre ahead while Ubelluris plods along beside me. He can't move very quickly, so we have to keep pace with him, but I don't mind — it's a comfortable speed for a long trek. He helps me over wide cracks in the earth and large chunks of fallen concrete, but it's not long before we reach a cave-in.

"Great," I mutter, running my hands through my hair. "Just great." I step over the tracks to lean against the concrete wall for a breather as I stare at the rubble. "Both dead ends."

"I pUncH thROuGh?" Ubelluris asks suddenly, gravelly voice just this side of comprehensible.

I blink. I don't have any idea how long the collapsed section is, so we could be tunnelling for hours, but it's better than doing nothing, and I don't have any brighter ideas.

A rocky arm indicates a part of the rubble. "WeAK sPoT."

Oh! That's right, he's some kind of mountain god. He would know these things. "Yes. Please."

He nods once. "I puNCh tHroUGh."

With that, he starts pummelling the rubble slowly, and I decide he could use some help. Now that I'm no longer moving, I don't need the light, so I thank Amaterasu before swapping her out for Oumitsunu. I tell him to help Ubelluris and sit down further away to wait, covering my head with my coat to avoid inhaling too much dust as they pound and shove earth and concrete out of the way. The loud, rhythmic thudding will probably scare the crap out of any approaching rescue workers, but at this point, I am beyond caring.

I _need_ to get back.

JP's must have its hands full dealing with potential broken seals, but more importantly, I remember the fear in Yamato's eyes when I was shot. He's an expert at keeping up a calm leader's façade —he wouldn't so much as slouch in front of the others if he'd been shot in the heart; he'd even wait till everyone else left to fall over dead— but that doesn't mean he feels any less keenly than the rest of us. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite, so I need to call with good news soon.

Just then, there's another loud crash, and even through the coat's thick fabric, I sense sunlight.

Crap.

I quickly dismiss the demons, hoping no civilians have looked in and seen them. Waving the coat to fan away the dust, I shield my eyes against the sudden glare. As my vision adjusts, I realize that the demons didn't tunnel up or through — they just kept moving rubble aside in one spot until the ground above collapsed in further, creating a kind of sinkhole. Now that I can't use demons though, climbing out is my next problem. Although it's not completely vertical, the slope up is rather steep.

Well, I can certainly try — there are some uneven parts I can use as handholds and footholds. So I roll up my coat and tie it around my waist to keep it out of the way, then stretch my sore muscles a bit before getting started. Carefully, I begin my ascent, testing every mound and crevice before I put my weight on it. Barely halfway up, I hear shouting. "Heeey! There's a kid here! Someone help pull him out!" Then someone is looking down at me, and I nearly fall in shock.

I—it's Dera-Deka.

H—he's not dead.

But… that means… Did Alcor save him? Or did Yamato let him go? Either way, when he offers me a hand, I take it, continue to stare in disbelief as he pulls me to the surface, and completely miss whatever he's saying once we're sitting side by side on a bit of unbroken asphalt.

Blinking and shaking myself, I ask, "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, kid, you okay? You look like you'd seen a ghost."

A laugh bubbles up — I'm glad. I'm so glad. He's alive. We're alive. He can see Airi again. Everything's going to be fine.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. I sure am glad to see you."

"Right…" He must think me insane. "Don't worry about it, kid. What were you doing down there?"

 _Crap. He's a detective, after all._ "Doing…?" I blink again. "I—" I frown, as if struggling to recall. "Uh… I was… napping… on the subway. When I woke up, I was in pain, lying on the ground in total darkness," I lie, feigning confusion. "I… don't know how long I just lay there, but then there was a loud thud, and I saw sunlight, so I came towards it and tried to climb."

He narrows his eyes. "Are you sure that's how it was?"

I know it doesn't make sense for me to have simply survived the crash, but I can't give him any more information.

Shaking my head, "I… ngh!" I press my hand to my head and hyperventilate, pretending to be in pain — if I hit my head, it's plausible for my memories to be muddled. He still won't believe my version of events, but he'll at least stop questioning me if he feels my testimony won't be reliable anyway. "I… don't… know." I let my hand fall, as if the pain has receded temporarily. "That's all I remember."

"Hmm…" Pensive, he stands and offers me his hand again. "Sure you're okay, kid? Can you walk?"

I let him pull me to my feet. "I… I think so. Which way is the city centre?"

He indicates a direction, then adds, "You should get that checked out," waving at my head.

"Yeah… I'll stop by a hospital there. Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Well, if you're sure you're okay, I'm going to go help others."

"Okay."

He jogs off as I start walking, and I immediately pull out my phone to call Yamato. He picks up on the first ring — like he's been waiting.

"Hibiki!" The relief in his voice is palpable.

"Yeah, I got out." I round the corner and almost walk right into— "Yamato?" I hang up. "What are you—?"

Suddenly, he folds me in his arms, and I realize I don't care. I throw my arms around him.

"You're all right," he whispers, all gratitude and wonder, as I bury my face in his neck.

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry for worrying you."

"That's fine." He steps back, but doesn't let go. "But—"

"Woof! Woof woof!"

I turn to see an Akita Inu running towards us. It circles us, then runs back the way it came a bit and stops, looking back expectantly at us. When we don't react, it approaches again, jumps a few times, then runs back and looks at us again.

"I think it wants to show us something." I start following it.

Yamato frowns, hurrying after me. "How can you tell?"

"My mother is a veterinary surgeon, remember?"

"Wait. We don't h—"

"In these circumstances, it could be someone who needs help. Let's take a look. We can at least alert the SDF."

I continue before he can protest, and we follow the dog to a semi-collapsed house. It enters through a hole in the wall and barks urgently at a pile of rubble. It's a bit of a squeeze, but I manage to crawl through after it while Yamato elects to wait outside. It's dim thanks to fallen beams, crushed furniture and rubble blocking out the light, so I don't immediately notice the bit of hair sticking out from under a fallen bookcase.

"Well? Are you satisfied? We n—"

"I think there's someone stuck under the rubble here!" I start moving some books and loose pieces of rubble away. "It's a little girl." I check. "She's still breathing!"

The bookcase caught her hair, but missed her head because it fell on a man lying a foot away instead, probably her father. His condition is gruesome — I'm quite sure he's dead. Her left leg is stuck under a fallen beam — she probably blacked out from the pain. The Akita nuzzles her face once it can reach her, but she doesn't stir.

"We don't have the equipment to move her," Yamato notes, suddenly beside me. "We could end up worsening her injuries instead of helping." Still, he takes out his phone and summons Yoshitsune. "I'll move the beam. Hurry and find some emergency response medics."

The Akita growls at the demon as I crawl out, but stands its ground by the girl's side, watching warily as Yoshitsune gets to work. I don't have to walk far to find several SDF soldiers, and they immediately call for a stretcher and paramedic once I explain the situation. When I return, Yamato is waiting outside, seemingly lost in thought.

"What's wrong?" I ask, leading him away as the SDF team gets to work.

He shakes his head, speeding up. "I was thinking of that dog. Did you see the lacerations on its paws and bruises on its body? It must have dug the opening we used by itself, pushing away the debris and broken glass to clear a way to its master, then ran to find help when it couldn't do anything for them. People call someone a dog as an insult, but it is rather a noble and intelligent creature."

I smile fondly, lacing our fingers and keeping pace. "I don't suppose you remember, but you once asked if it was too late to understand how civilians think."

"Hmph… Through your work, you have proven that all people can learn and change. Many subordinates that I once considered incompetent have grown well under your leadership. You would never say it was too late to learn something as long as we're alive."

"Yes, but the truth is… Everyone, even an animal like that dog earlier, has something or someone that they want to protect, that they can't give up on no matter what. For some, it's their lives. For others, it's material objects. For yet others, it's a person or people they care about… like the dead man in there who let the bookshelf fall on him to spare the little girl." I lean into his side. "That you are here, in your desire to save me, you are already closer to understanding civilians at heart than any words or experiences can convey."

Abruptly, Yamato stops, letting go, and I almost fall over.

"No, you're wrong. I almost didn't. And if you weren't indispensable to JP’s, I wouldn't have. I was going to send another agent, but Sako insisted she could hold down the fort for an hour. I d—"

"No." I tell him firmly, gripping his shoulders. "Your priorities are as they should be. _This world_ needs them as they are." And suddenly, I understand, "That's why you can't afford to love someone you couldn't justify saving."

He gasps, takes a second, then sighs. "You… may be right," he admits slowly. "No." He smiles, proud but wistful. "I knew you would understand and took that for granted."

I hug him to me tightly. "Yamato, don't ever be afraid to choose what is best for the world. I told you, I respect that you always do regardless of your personal feelings. I would never resent that choice or ask you to change what I love and admire most about you."

"No…" Tenderly, he returns the embrace. "Whenever I'm with you, I fear that, someday, I won't make that choice… that there are things I can't control that will take you away, that I won't be able to control my emotions enough to focus single-mindedly on my work anymore, not when your safety is at stake."

I rest my head on his shoulder, content. We've come so far — he can finally share his feelings honestly. "I'll try not to make you choose," I promise, whispering over his lips. "To hear this from you is my greatest happiness."

"I will hold y— Wait." He lets go. "We don't have time for this. I've been trying to tell you—" His phone rings, and he immediately answers. "Yes, Sako?"

But I don't hear what Makoto says because Alcor is suddenly behind him.

"It has begun, Shining One," he says sadly. "I have restored the app's functionality for your friends as well. I truly am sorry that you are back in this predicament, but if your wish remains unchanged, I _will_ fulfill my oath to you."

I nod at him as Yamato steps back, expression grave as he hangs up. "It appears your fears have been realized."

A message comes in, and he loads a video feed for me — a familiar black scar in what looks like Toyama and Iwate prefectures, earthquake damage in Nara and Yamaguchi prefectures, and a familiar "unidentified object" in the sky over Tokyo. Hardly the extent of the damage, I'm sure.

"Heh." _Oh, I'll show you the will of the species, Polaris. This is_ our _world. We won't live by your whims, and we won't let you destroy us as you please._ I clasp Yamato's hand in mine, meet his gaze with determination. _I swore it. This time, I'm fighting for keeps._

"Time to do what we do best."


	27. All Coming Back

To my surprise, no one's memories return as similar events recur, not even Yamato's. At best, they get a passing sense of déjà vu. Perhaps Polaris is blocking the memories; perhaps the changes we made were too subtle, making it hard to remember the prior version — we don't know. Alcor says everyone will remember once they reach the Akasha Stratum, but it can't otherwise be helped.

We've done a little better this time though. With the supplies I stockpiled, we didn't have to gather what we needed from the remaining cities, so we instead collected everything we could find around and rationed it out to civilians. As a result, there are still thugs, but no rioters, and Ronaldo instead put his efforts into maintaining order in Nagoya.

Fortunately, the Septentriones haven't changed, but we didn't get our lucky break with Dubhe — it wasn't so convenient to crash a truck into it this time. Alcor helped us break its immunity though, so we finished it off easily regardless.

With him firmly on our side, the Nagoya branch remained fully operational, and no one attempted to kill Yamato or Otome. We secured the demons we needed early, so Io never had to become a medium, but early detection and preparation yielded no better solution to Alioth. Due to its trajectory, there were only three options for the interception: over the sea, over Tokyo or over Sapporo. Shooting Alioth down over the sea would cause a massive tsunami, and Tokyo simply wasn't an option.

Still, in the end, there remains only one way to defeat Mizar, which leaves us discussing what to do about the world again once it's over.

"I agree," I tell everyone after Yamato announces our ideals. "Everyone has something they're good at. We need to build a world that will find what that is and embrace it, so that everyone will have the opportunity to change for the better and achieve their full potential. There will be no more oppression, no more wars, no more poverty and no more corruption because we'll value all talents equally. That is the path to peace and progress."

"I… can't believe how agreeable that sounds, given it's coming out of Hotsuin's mouth," Ronaldo says slowly.

I can't help chuckling. Under the table, I reach for Yamato's hand and squeeze it. He squeezes back, but doesn't otherwise react.

"Sounds good to me," Airi pipes up. "No more people getting sidelined because of social mores that decide what is and isn't important."

"A world that won't lose hope in even a flake like me, hm?" Joe laughs. "Gotta say you're speaking my language. I bet that's the world Nagisa would have wanted, too."

This time, she was on the subway when the earthquakes hit Nagoya, and no one survived her train crash either. Our only consolation is she didn't suffer — it was worse when she was dying in the hospital as power and supplies ran out.

"I think that would be a wonderful world for children to grow up in," says Otome with an approving smile. "I'm on board."

"No objections here." Fumi grins. "We can't all be like me, and we need some Jungos in the world too."

"I bet she means people gullible enough to be her test subjects," Daichi mutters beside me, and I stifle a snort.

Jungo, however, takes it as a compliment. "Thank you, Fumi. I hope we'll all be friends, and everyone will continue to appreciate my chawan mushi, in the new world too."

Yamato looks at me as if to say, "Don't people have priorities anymore?" and "Spare me, please."

"Heh, a world that values everyone's talents, huh? Sounds like a world full of the truly strong." Keita grins, cracking his knuckles. "I'm in."

"W—we all agree?" Io looks like she can hardly believe it. "That's amazing, Hibiki! We all agree!"

"Yeah!" Hinako cheers, excited. "I knew we'd be able to work this out like friends and adults."

It's true — even though no one can consciously remember the previous ordeal, they retained their personal growth, and it's as if everyone subconsciously knew they were friends. It was easy to gather everyone again, to fall back into the roles we played in the last crisis, to bond more strongly and cooperate better than we did before.

"That just leaves one more problem." I look around the room. "I don't trust Polaris."

Daichi is the first to concur. "Y—yeah! I've known you since we were kids, man, and I know you wouldn't lie about stuff like this. And maybe it's just me, but this does all feel kinda familiar. So I believe that we've done this before, and I don't want to do this again. It's not fair, y'know? What's the point if it just leads back to square one?"

"I believe Kuze as well," Makoto volunteers. "He knows far too much about this disaster for his story to be a lie."

"I… I feel like we've done this before too," Io agrees. "But… what if we're back here because we didn't change?"

"No, I agree with Shijima," Ronaldo says, grimacing. "It's not fair at all. To expect all of humanity to change and grow in less than a year is ludicrous and unreasonable."

"That's right!" Airi chimes in, clearly irritated. "Even as idols… We've worked really hard these past months, and our fan base hasn't even reached all of Japan. What makes her think we can change the world so soon?"

"Yeah," Hinako agrees. "What if we let her create our ideal world, and she just destroys that after a few months again?"

"Enough," Yamato interjects, arms crossed. "This discussion will go nowhere. Hibiki, what are you proposing?"

"Let's depose Polaris."

The others stir, exchange uneasy glances. But then Keita starts laughing.

"Ha! You've got guts! You say this Polaris is this world's Administrator, kinda like its God? And you want to get rid of her? Oh, this is gonna be a fight to remember! I'm in."

"Depose Polaris…?" Io looks troubled and unconvinced. "Can we even do that?"

"Well, if we're going with Hibiki's word —and the last few days have brought us plenty of evidence in support of his claim— then we've beaten her before. There's no reason to believe we can't do it again," Fumi muses. "She'll come at us with everything she's got this time, but I'm tired of these trials taking away from my research time. I'm willing to risk it for a permanent solution… as well as the opportunity to research the Akashic Record." Her eyes glint with excitement — same old Fumi.

"Wait, Hibiki, what happens after that?" Otome asks worriedly. "Previously, you said we had Polaris reverse the Void's erasure, but what will become of this world once she's gone?"

"We'll regress it," I tell them confidently. "After we defeat Polaris, we'll return the world back to the way it was before this attack and continue to realize our ideals."

"I see…" Yamato contemplates it. "Defeating Polaris and regressing the world, huh? That might be a solution…"

Daichi nods. "The world got this way 'cause of Polaris anyhow. If we defeat her, the invasion will finally be over, right? And with no Administrator, we won't need our demons anymore, so they'll be gone too."

"If we turned back time, the world will be repaired too," Ronaldo chimes in — he seems hopeful.

Apparently, Fumi and Yamato's votes of confidence in the plan's feasibility are all I needed because, "No complaints here!" Hinako enthuses. "Loving this plan…"

"I think it's pretty solid," Airi agrees cheerfully. "Let's do this!"

"I agree with the plan, but is it possible?" Makoto asks. "Can we really return the world to the way it was?" Well, she doesn't remember that it's precisely what we did before, just with Polaris instead of without.

"Technically, I don't see why not. The data from the past is still in the Akashic Record," Fumi explains.

Yamato nods in agreement. "We will just overwrite the data from before with the current state of affairs. We should be able to turn back the clock. And if we set the world far enough back, before the Septentrione invasion, there won't be the Void either. Everyone who died should come back in the new world."

Under the table, I lace our fingers. I'm glad he believes, and he's changed — now he even cares about the people who died. I can't wait to get back to where we were, to change the world for the better by his side.

"Sounds pretty sweet to me," Joe brings me out of my lovestruck reverie. "The invaders will be gone, and the world'll be back to normal!" He'll get Nagisa back too. "I am a hundred and ten percent for this plan!"

"But… even if we defeat Polaris and return the world to its old state, will the fighting ever truly end?" Io wonders, and I understand where she's coming from — I don't want another round of this either. "The Administrator attacked our world because she believed mankind lost the potential to grow and change…"

"That's true," Otome concurs, worried. "Humanity needs to change, or else we might be in danger all over again…"

"Hmph! We'll be fine," says Keita confidently. "We're not like we were before," although I doubt he has any idea how we were before — we were already quite different the first time we met this week.

"The world will be peaceful again, and everyone will be happy." Jungo beams widely at us. "I like this plan a lot."

Well, it's nice to be simple-minded, I suppose.

"There is… one more problem," Yamato adds, frowning.

"What is it?"

"I doubt the Akashic Record is something that humans can control. How will you regress the world without Polaris?"

"Alcor will do it," I say simply.

"Oh… Angy!" Joe nods in understanding. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"Hey, that's right… He's been helping us all along!" Daichi gives a fistpump. "Yeah, we should totally ask him!"

Hinako claps her hands. "Looks like that's settled then."

"Then I'll try to contact him."

Suddenly, I realize Yamato has leaned in really close. "Hibiki, I'd like a word with you," he whispers in my ear as expected, and I nod, rising as he does.

"Wait," Ronaldo calls out loudly. "If it's something related to this discussion, then we all have a right to hear it."

Before anyone else can get on the bandwagon, I reply, "Oh, you'll hear him, all right," pulling Yamato close with a lascivious grin. "He's not very good at keeping it down."

"K—Kuze!" Makoto protests, looking scandalized, and Yamato glares daggers at me, but plays along by remaining silent. "For goodness' sake, keep those things private!"

"Ooh… Were you already imagining something, Mako?" Otome teases with a playful grin.

"O—Otome!"

Otome giggles while I lean up to kiss Yamato, and he indulges me despite his disapproval, brief but ardent. We gave up the pretense by the time Merak arrived — I don't think Yamato ever fooled anyone anyway.

"Oh, I suppose we could just do it right here…"

"Wh—what?!" Io blushes a bright scarlet. "But… but…"

"We don't have a lot of time left, after all," I reason contemplatively, fiddling with his tie, and it's true we've been too busy or tired from all the fighting to make love this week.

"Look, man." Keita turns to Ronaldo. "I don't know what kind of weird fetish you have, but I don't want anything to do with it, you got that?"

Airi gives him a judging look. "Ew!"

"That's not—"

"C'mon, give a couple their privacy!" Hinako cuts Ronaldo off, waving us away. "Shoo, shoo!"

I seize the opportunity to lead Yamato towards my room with an arm around his waist. As soon as we've left the command centre, I lean into his side and murmur, "I bet you're thinking, 'embarrassing but effective,' right?"

Yamato sighs, "You _are_ the worst."

We round the corner towards the residential wing before I ask, "What did you want to discuss?"

"Why do you trust him?" No preamble, no beating around the bush — classic Yamato.

"I have no reason not to. From the demon summoning app to the defeat of Dubhe, Megrez and Alioth, he has done nothing but help us."

Yamato turns to me, expression earnest. "He's not even human, Hibiki. How do you know you're not just playing into his hands? That he hasn't always wanted to replace Polaris as Administrator and is merely using you?"

"So what if he is?"

He arches a silver eyebrow.

"If our goals are complementary, then by all means, let us use each other."

"Heh…"

I loop my arms around his neck. "I learned that from you."

"Hahaha! My, my… Such a sharp tongue as always. Still, it'd be dull if you were any other way." Backing me into my room, he continues, "Nevertheless, you have no way of knowing that he won't be as bad as Polaris or worse."

Nudging the door shut behind us, I ask, "Worse than annihilation? Look, I—" I tug him to the bed with me. "I know you two have a… history."

"He told you that?" And I can see it — the annoyance, the jealousy.

"No, you did." At his confusion, I add, "Before. And I was a little jealous," I admit, snuggling closer. "If only I had been the one to meet you back then, we would both have been less alone."

He opens his mouth as if to protest, but only sighs, "I don't trust him. We have no way of discerning his true motives."

"Then you think that he taught us demon summoning to find humans who might stand against Polaris with him? What if none of us had emerged? If he had known beforehand, then why tell you what he did, knowing you would oppose him?"

"Hibiki, Hibiki…" His gentle voice is chiding, but patient. "Still so soft, so trusting. Causality is not so straightforward. Had he not given me the information he did, the world might have already been completely swallowed by the Void."

"Still, he chose to bet on our potential, which is more than I can say for Polaris, who has long since given up on us."

Yamato shakes his head, expression pained as he caresses my cheek. "Oh Hibiki… Like a cancer, he has poisoned your mind."

"No…" I cup his face, press my forehead to his. "If only you remembered… Please, trust me one more time? I'll show you. Let's regress the world. Let's continue to change it by our own power. Let's make a future where we won't be beholden to the whims of a being so far removed from our reality. Together, I know we can do it."

Smiling resignedly, he sighs, "Very well. As you clearly trust him, I shall say no more. Your judgement has always served us well."

"Thank you." I hold him tightly to me, bury my face in his neck. "Thank you. I'm so glad. I was afraid you'd fight me."

"Heh… Would it have stopped you?" He's pulled his gloves off, and his hands are in my hair.

"No."

Chuckling, he purrs, "That's my Hibiki," and I groan, scraping my teeth over his jugular — he does this on purpose. "Never let sentiment get in the way of your goals."

"Of course, you're an excellent teacher." As we divest each other of our clothes, I mouth my way up to his ear. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." Nipping a trail down his jaw, I lick into his mouth and savour the taste of him, the slow tangle of our tongues, the familiarity and intimacy of this. "I, too, have things I can't give up on, that I won't sacrifice, because my goal loses its meaning once they're gone."

He pins my hands above my head as he rocks his hips into mine, and I whine his name. He won't say it because it's irrational, and he knows it, but he needs this — the control and the assurance that he has me, that he always will.

"Such as?"

"You," I tell him simply, looking up into his eyes — this is the hand he needs to see. "Everything I've done, everything I do and will do, is for you, Yamato… because I promised you I'd create a world that is worthy of your sacrifice."

Violet eyes widen, and he inhales sharply. "Hibiki…" Then he's surging forward, plundering my mouth, grip tightening on my wrists, and I wrap my legs around him as we moan as one.

"I told you," I whisper between kisses. "I'll always be yours."

"I know." He turns to mouth his way down, leaving new marks where the last have faded, and I bare my neck to give him access. "Heh, I told you." With a proud smile, he sits up and grabs the massage oil on my nightstand to pour some onto his hand. "If you come to me as you are, I will love you just the same. Regardless, I realize I haven't made it easy."

My breath hitches, and it's not just his oiled fingers stroking me open, not just the barely-there scrape of his nails on my knee doing things to my gut.

"And I still don't trust Alcor, but I will keep my promise, Hibiki, just as you have." His free hand runs down my right leg, lifting it to suck a mark reverently into the back of my knee, and I shiver. "I'll stay with you no matter what happens."

"Y— Haahh!"

My words are lost to the jolt of pleasure as a digit crooks just right, then he's pulling me into his lap, holding my leg up to stroke the back of my knee as he fingers me, and this must look so debauched. It's been a while since we've done it like this, leaving marks all over the back of my neck, his hand pressing on my perineum as he rubs my sweet spot —I'm not going to last.

"Ngh…" It's so good — I'm trembling as I tug him closer with a hand in his hair to mouth at his jaw. "Stop teasing…" I'm so close, and "I want— Yamato, I've missed you."

It comes out a needy keen that makes him smirk, but he obligingly lays me back down. "Then you'll be pleased to hear I finally have the answer you sought."

"Hm?"

We whimper as he slides in, equal parts pleasure and pain, and I can only run my fingertips tenderly along the ridges of his spine, share a smile when he opens his eyes. We fall into a rhythm, perfect and familiar like everything about us has come to be, and I'm arching up into him as he brings me back to the edge, "yes," "Yamato" and "please" falling easily from my lips.

"Hibiki," he laces our fingers, and my eyes snap to his, "I love you because no one expands my world like you do," and I'm crying out, rapture crashing over me, clinging to him as I drown. When my vision clears, I've left grooves in his back with my nails, and his thrusts have sped up — he's close too, and I know just what he needs.

"You're mine, Yamato; you're mine," I mouth over the shell of his ear, my tongue flicking at his earlobe.

"Yes," he breathes, "yes."

"Don't you ever let anyone else have you."

He comes with a shout, shuddering as he spills inside me, and I claim his lips once more. Desperately, he kisses back, like he's always wanted to.

"Hibiki," he mumbles, "I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours. We will always be together. Swear it to me — you'll never be satisfied with anything less."

I forget to breathe — he's ready. He's finally ready. Finally, not a shred of doubt remains in his heart.

I'm so happy —I could cry— but I only tighten my arms around him. "Never, I swear it. You'll never be alone again."

This seems to satisfy him, and he rolls us onto our sides, his smile serene and content as he pulls a sheet over us.

Suddenly, he gasps, sitting up. "You liar…" he breathes incredulously, and I sit up as well.

"What?" I catch his hands. "What?"

"You said we'd tried it my way before, and it didn't work." He glares accusingly.

Oh… Relieved, I laugh. "No, I didn't." I flop back down, grinning slyly. "I merely asked if it was completely inconceivable to you that we had."

For a moment, he simply gapes, then, "Hah! To think…" He shakes his head in awed disbelief, letting me tug him back down into my arms. "You really have gotten so manipulative." He flicks his fingers at my chin with a chuckle.

"Heh, what can I say?" I giggle, rubbing our noses. "I learned from the best."


	28. Spark of Hope

When we return to the command centre, everyone seems to have discussed the ramifications of this idea among themselves and concluded that we should talk to Alcor before rather than after fighting Benetnasch. I concur that it is better to lay our plans out early, so I hold Yamato's hand tightly as I close my eyes.

 _Alcor, if you can hear me, they're ready to discuss our plan, although I believe it would be best if you pretended to be hearing of it for the first time._ Despite regaining his memories, Yamato would only assume that we have been plotting behind his back all this time otherwise, and it'll fester — I know him.

"I hear you, Shining One," he answers, suddenly appearing above us and floating down. Nodding at me, he turns to the others. "Children of Possibility, you appear to have come to a decision."

"Yes," replies Ronaldo, "but we should let Hibiki explain it, since it's his idea."

Everyone else shows some sign of agreement, so I explain our plan to defeat Polaris and have Alcor regress the world.

"What…? Defeat Polaris?" As requested, the Septentrione reacts much like he did the first time I suggested it. "That had not even occurred to me… So you would then require me to manipulate the Akashic Record and regress the world to its previous state," he muses as if pondering it deeply. "That is certainly one way of doing things. With the timeline of the world regressed, all the destruction and death would be reversed as well. And with Polaris gone, she would no longer be a threat to humanity… And yet… How peculiar you all are." His wonder is genuine. "You'd hand over control of the Akashic Record to me? A Sword of the Administrator System? Why do you trust me so willingly?"

For a moment, I worry that we won't have a real answer, that Yamato is going to be brutally honest, or someone is going to admit that they trust me, and I trust him, so we're going with my plan because no one has a better idea.

Fortunately, Daichi, ever the wonderful friend, is quick to reassure him on everyone's behalf. "What're you talking about, man? You helped us out a lot! You're our friend. Of course we trust you!"

"Friend… Hm, the word itself seems to have a warmth to it." Alcor smiles with true happiness — I suppose it is a pleasant surprise for him that the others would think of him as their friend too, and I'm happy that we are able to give him this. "Very well. Once Polaris is defeated, I shall alter the Akashic Record and regress the events of this world. And…" He turns to me, meeting my gaze with firm resolve — he's ready. "I shall help you fight her. From here on out, I will walk alongside you."

Yamato sighs then. "I'm a little hesitant to ally with a non-human, but what choice do we have?"

I silence a chuckle, leaning into his side. As reluctant as he sounds, this is as close as he's going to get to saying he remembers forgiving Alcor in the last cycle and is willing to accept our decision. But Alcor understands, of course — they're old friends, after all, and Yamato has always been proud and stubborn.

"Thank you, Hotsuin Yamato." Their eyes meet briefly, and I hope the hint of warmth I see isn't wishful thinking. He turns back to me. "Shining One…" _I am truly grateful to have met you. Thanks to you, whatever anguish I harboured is cleared._ Turning to the others, he continues, "Friends, my name is Saiduq, Al Saiduq. I… would like it very much if you would refer to me by that name."

Perhaps this is supposed to represent his clean departure from Polaris' design? Well, I suppose if it makes him happy, the reason doesn't matter.

Out of the blue, the sound of applause resounds through the room, and as one, we all look around, reaching instinctively for our phones — can't be too careful these days.

"W—what is it? Who's there?" Daichi asks no one in particular, searching for the source of the sound.

"Impressive. This is the strength of your will."

I recognize the blonde that enters, still clapping, but I have no idea how or when she got here, or where she has been all this time to have survived everything that has happened.

"Louisa?" She looks exactly as I remember — beautiful, regal, not a hair out of place.

"You!" Alcor immediately floats between us —it would seem he recognises her as well— and everyone takes that as a cue to start the demon summoning app. Yamato, too, angles his body subtly in front of me, like he wants to protect me, but feels it's insulting to think I need protecting — it's quite charming.

Unconcerned, she walks languidly towards me, and again I find I can't look away. "Kuze Hibiki, I told you we would meet again if you truly have the will to change the world's order." As she approaches, the shoes on her feet smoulder to ash, and she removes the clip to shake her hair loose. "As you have proven that beyond question, allow me to show you my true form." Six majestic wings spring forth from her back in a burst of iridescent white feathers, and she glows, almost blinding in radiance. "I am the Tyrant, Lucifer," says a deeper voice as the light fades to reveal a more masculine form with horns — still blond, still beautiful, but less clothing and less human. "If thou wouldst defy the gods, my power is thine..."

"I must say I did not expect you to join us so easily," Alcor interjects with a frown, though he does not attack.

Lucifer smiles, and it is breathtaking. "I have been watching thee for some time, and thou hast finally seen the truth of thy misfortune. Now thou walkst a path much like mine own. Thou willst be cursed for it, thus I bless thee. Thou art the spark this world needeth, Kuze Hibiki, so allow me to walk by thy side on thy path to true freedom."

He extends his hand, and I take it. As soon as we touch, he glows brilliantly once more and vanishes as the light seems to absorb into my body. I feel stronger somehow, and Yamato takes my hand as I'm staring bemusedly at it.

"Ha… To secure the aid of even the King of Hell… You truly have far surpassed me."

Before I can reply, Saiduq clasps our joined hands in his own, and I am immensely heartened that Yamato doesn't pull away. "Friends, your decision has enlightened me. The world is filled with endless possibility. It is awful, but also beautiful. For so long, I have watched you, and like you, Shining One, I want mankind to create its own future, by the strength of its own hands."

I squeeze his hand, confident. "Leave it to us." I glance at the others, and they nod wholeheartedly.

"Yes... I must." He smiles, and I mirror it. "With your potential, this is sure to become a world of wonder. Today, just as you have all placed your faith in me, I place my faith in you. Let us claim true freedom together."

Just as I wonder if Saiduq will hold on until it gets awkward, he lets go. Yamato doesn't though, and as we begin planning how to proceed in earnest, I lace our fingers.

Finally, we will be free to pursue our dreams, unfettered by the designs of the Administrator, and suddenly, I am overwhelmed by everyone's trust.

"Thank you," I tell them, "for believing in me. Together, I know we can achieve the world that we desire."

"Wow, haha!" Joe claps me on the shoulder. "Spoken like a true leader. And without stumbling at all! You're as good as an adult! I'm counting on you, leader!"

Ronaldo sighs, palm pressed to his brow. "Sometimes, I can't tell who the grown-up is here."

"Don't worry about it, man." Daichi pats his arm. "Hibiki's always been a super reliable dude. It's actually kinda daunting sometimes."

"Indeed," Makoto agrees with a chuckle. "Kuze is unusually mature — it's very impressive. We could all stand to learn something from him."

"Heh." Ronaldo brightens. "I suppose you're right. Besides, anyone who can keep up a relationship with Hotsuin must be quite formidable."

"That's rather rude," Yamato interjects sharply.

"No, no, I'm with him on this one," Hinako chimes in. "You never give anyone else the time of day."

Before Yamato can protest, Io, Otome and Airi burst out laughing.

"Humans are such interesting creatures," Saiduq remarks with wonder, chuckling. "Even faced with these trials, you find joy and humour in your lives. You have such strong wills."

"And we'll prove it," I agree, indicating the scanners — Benetnasch is here. "Let's do this!"

My words are met with a resounding cheer.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Back in the Stratum as Saiduq prepares to regress the world, it's hard to believe it's over, that Polaris is really gone. Saiduq tinkers with the Astrolabe as the others discuss their newly regained memories and future plans, and I lean into Yamato's side as we watch. We know what we're going to do when we get back. We don't need words to share our goals and feelings now — they are one.

"No…" Saiduq murmurs suddenly, expression clouding with worry, and we exchange glances.

"What's wrong?" I ask, drifting to his side with Yamato close behind.

"According to the System, if I remain your Administrator, I would have to pass the Throne to the next in line when his turn comes in a few centuries. This would be a mere reprieve. Humanity wouldn't truly be free."

And who knows what the next Administrator will do, several centuries from now, when we are no longer alive to protect the world we fought so hard for?

"Could you not… I don't know… simply refuse?" Daichi asks, overhearing our conversation and coming to join us.

If only it were that simple, and Saiduq confirms, "Just as I could not fight Polaris earlier, when the time comes, I will have no choice but to surrender my Administrative Authority to the next designated Administrator in the cycle."

"Because you are a part of the System," Yamato surmises.

"Yes… Unfortunately, I would not be able to preserve your liberty."

No, wait, that's it! "What if you gave this Administrative Authority to someone who isn't a part of the System?"

I catch Yamato's approving smile, his violet eyes alight with pride — as usual, we're onto the same idea. Daichi doesn't seem to have caught on, but my outburst has attracted everyone's attention — they've moved closer to listen.

Saiduq's eyes widen. "Intriguing," he breathes, a hint of awe. "Truly, humans come from a position of freedom. Yes… Yes, I believe that is indeed possible." He resumes working on the Astrolabe. "But it is far too dangerous to burden a single person with, so instead, I shall entrust it, with this world, in equal measure to all thirteen of you, my friends."

"And when we die?" Ah, my beloved, ever practical.

"It will be passed on to another who inherits your will. Thus will this world remain free in the hands of humans." He turns to us. "Very well. Are you all ready?"

Just then, I spy a flash of red behind him and —"Saiduq!!"— shove him out of the way in reflex. A blinding light —Lucifer, I realize, it's Lucifer— lances forth to meet the red flash, but I still feel… _something_ when they disappear. I… I don't know what it is, but I feel light-headed suddenly.

Everyone is screaming my name, I catch a glimpse of metal before gold and blue arcs of light chase it off, and then Yamato’s arms are around me, his eyes wide with fear again.

_No. No, no, no._

"Hibiki! Hibiki, stay with me!"

"It doesn't hurt," so why does everyone look so worried? "Don't be afraid. Everything will be fine once we regress the world."

"Damn it, Alcor, hurry up!" Yamato snarls, his grip tightening.

 _No, no, don't misunderstand._ It takes surprising effort to reach up and touch his face — everything feels so far away. "I couldn't let our dream be destroyed."

He gasps —or sobs, I don't know— and covers my hand with his own, presses his lips to my knuckles. "It means nothing without you."

"Or you," I agree, content. "But it'll be okay. We're right here, together. Everything will be okay."

"Now!"

With a lurch, the Stratum collapses into a familiar swirl of coloured lights. Then it all fades away.


	29. Mirror, Mirror

My mind races as we walk around, searching the sky for any sign of the new invader. I suspect it's like Alioth — it's still right up there above us, just invisible. Of course, the other possibility is that it teleported away — otherwise, at least some people would have seen it move away. I doubt it though — it has no reason to leave Tokyo if the tower is still standing. Regardless, we can't take any chances.

I'm glad to see that JP's is functional — that means Yamato must be hard at work even though, for some reason, I couldn't get through to him even before telecommunications were shut down. Maybe he just has a different number here. On the bright side, Daichi and Io have regained their memories, so if he's forgotten as well, then he'll probably remember and find me soon. In the meantime, I suppose we could try looking for Makoto — if there are JP's agents on the ground, then she's got to be around somewhere.

Something worries me though — I clearly remember the first time we had Polaris regress the world, saying our goodbyes in the Akasha Stratum as flashes of possibility swirled by, but strangely, I don't remember anything after Saiduq ascended the Heavenly Throne this time, just Tico congratulating me for defeating Polaris. I even needed them to refresh my memory of what happened, and those memories —especially of Yamato— are so important to me.

Speaking of memories, I'm also worried about Saiduq — he wouldn't redistribute Nicaea like this without reason, letting chaos spread as demons attack innocent people, and I highly doubt _he_ could have lost his memories. Not to mention that bit Tico said about what happened in the previous world is really bugging me — something must have gone wrong that would explain the new invaders, but if so, wouldn't Saiduq come to us? What if he can't? It doesn't sit well with me that we haven't so much as heard from him.

Io worries this attack might be because humanity didn't grow enough, but I know that's not it — we've made plenty of progress. Heck, Airi and Hinako are even more popular than they used to be. I can't say that though — who knows what metric they're using to measure progress? It's not like they can't invent arbitrary reasons to attack us either. Maybe it's like the last time — something that we've done has upset some entity out there. And I'm not afraid to fight, of course, but Daichi is right — somehow, we're not as strong as we once were, even now that we've remembered our past.

Ugh, I can't dwell on this — we simply don't have enough information, and the others are shaken enough as is. I need to focus — one thing at a time.

As we walk into Shiba Park, Io points out a familiar cluster of uniformed people, and Gods, I don't think I've ever been so happy to see Makoto.

"Any sign of Denebola?" her voice carries clearly across the empty park.

Denebola? Is that the new enemy?

As I thought, not a single person has seen it since it disappeared. We still can't rule out teleportation, but maybe Yamato can try to make some kind of filter, like he did with Alioth, and search the area near the Sky Tower again. Call it gut instinct or even conjecture, but something tells me that's where we'll find it again.

Conveniently, the two agents leave after finishing their report, and we seize our chance to approach her. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't remember us either, and oh Daichi — some things never change. Thankfully, this goes a lot more easily than with Daichi and Io — she regains her memories almost immediately.

"I… I'm so sorry I forgot, everyone! Thank goodness I was able to meet up with you guys again."

I—is she… tearing up? Haha, maybe I shouldn't tease her so soon. "It's good to see you again!" I say instead. All in good time. I'm sure there'll be plenty of opportunities for that.

"Yes… Likewise. I can't believe I almost lost my memories of our time together."

Well, I wouldn't call that "almost," but she looks so apologetic — I think better of mentioning it.

"Don't worry," Io tells her reassuringly. "We didn't remember everything until just a little earlier too." Sadly, she adds, "It's like those seven days we spent fighting together never happened."

"I see… There were painful memories along with the wonderful ones, but… that fight is what allowed us to change and grow. I'm very glad I remember it… All of it. But," Makoto's expression clouds with confusion and worry, "we defeated Polaris and saved mankind from being invaded… Why are these things still happening?"

Huh. Looks like JP's doesn't have any intel either. We bring each other up to speed on what we know so far, and it turns out the new invader is indeed called Denebola, one of the Triangulum, which I certainly hope implies that there are only three of them. The Void is back, too, which probably means they share a similar origin with the Septentriones.

Another crisis, another set of invaders, still no Saiduq, and still no answers. We've only come right back to the two possibilities we considered before — either something went wrong with the regression, or humanity has lost its potential for growth. Honestly, I am so sick of hearing about the latter — there must be a way to put an end to this once and for all.

In any case, Makoto confirms that Denebola is trying to destroy the barrier protecting Japan that is generated through the Sky Tower, and that JP's hasn't been able to track it since it disappeared there. The Sky Tower is new though, and to think that Yamato would create a "primary shield" over the other barriers to protect more of the country — I wonder if he knows something… Wait, that doesn't sound like there even are other barriers… But that doesn't make any sense — Yamato wouldn't put all his eggs into one basket.

Daichi's horrified outburst echoes my sentiments exactly. "Hasn't Yamato put any other safeguards in place?"

"Yamato…"

No. I don't like the look on Makoto's face. _No, Makoto, say it isn't so. Please. He can't be…_

"What's wrong?" Io asks because I didn't. Couldn't.

I'm not even sure I want to know.

"Mm… It's the Chief," Makoto says hesitantly, glancing at me. "He's… not with us."

No. It— It can't be…

"What?" Io is shocked.

I— I don't know what I feel. It's like… a black hole just opened up in the pit of my stomach.

"The JP's of this world has no Hotsuin Yamato," Makoto explains carefully, and okay. Okay. Maybe it's just that he's not in JP's.

"Where did he go?"

"I… I have no idea." Her composure cracks. "Where could he have gone?"

She's worried, confused and dismayed all at once. Me? I'm trying not to panic.

"But I'm sure of it. There is no one named Hotsuin Yamato among our ranks at JP's."

"Wh—what about Fumi? Otome?" Daichi has a point — if Yamato is gone…

"Yes, they're still here."

So it's just Yamato?! _No. No… Yamato, you—_

No. I take a deep breath. I have to stay calm. It's too early to panic. Just because he's not with JP's in this world doesn't mean he's gone. He must be out there somewhere. He must be. And I'll find him. I'll find him for sure. I won't give up until I do. This is Yamato we're talking about. I know better than to write him off so easily. I'm sure we'll meet again.

The conversation appears to have progressed quite a bit while I've been distracted, and now Makoto is telling us about meeting the Chief later.

_The Chief? Wait—_

Daichi beats me to the punch. "If Yamato's gone, who's the new Chief?"

Just then, an agent hurries over to report, "Agent Sako, we have an update on Denebola's movements."

Oh? Perhaps we won't be needing that filter after all.

"Understood. I'll be right there." Turning back to us, she says, "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait and speak with the Chief this evening. You might try asking Otome as well."

Right. I must have completely missed her telling us where Otome and Fumi are. Fortunately, I'm sure Daichi and Io were listening.

She's about to leave with the agent when Io suddenly exclaims, "Oh, wait…! We have one more thing to ask. Have you seen Airi or Hinako? They were at the Sky Tower during the attack."

Wow, I've been so worried about Yamato that I completely forgot to ask about the others. Thank goodness Daichi and Io are here. I haven't even been keeping up with the conversation.

"Then you might want to try the evacuation site. Head to Sensouji, in Asakusa," Makoto suggests. "And please, if you can, assist us in our search for Denebola. Don't throw yourselves in the way of danger, but every pair of eyes helps. We don't know when the next attack will occur. We need as much assistance as we can get. I'm counting on you."

She gives me a last look before she leaves, apologetic and sympathetic, and I can only nod back. I need to stay strong and focus. This may be familiar ground, but we can't underestimate this enemy. Distraction could be fatal, and we have to survive.

I'll never forgive myself if I die before I find Yamato again.

☆☆☆☆

Lying in bed, I stare up at the ceiling. It's been a long time since I've slept in a room like this, but that's not the reason I'm having trouble sleeping. From the looks of it, mine are not the only memories that are muddled — it's like everyone remembers a mish-mash of what we did before. Daichi and Io don't even remember that they were dating for a time. I'm also not sure we can trust Miyako. I'm with Hinako on this — she believed us far too easily.

Thinking of our earlier conversation, I suppose her policies and practices seem more humane than Yamato's, and I can certainly understand needing to sacrifice the few to save the many in some situations. Both she and Yamato must make difficult decisions about whom to save when they can't save everyone — they've just chosen different criteria by which to make that call. The part that troubles me, though, is her saying that "as JP's, that's the best that we can do."

It's as if she's already resigned herself to being unable to save everyone.

That's what really makes her different from Yamato — he wouldn't think in such limiting terms. He has his priorities, but he's nothing if not ambitious. If his goal were to save everyone, he would do anything to achieve it. He might even have found some novel way to do it by now. At the very least, he wouldn't give up without trying everything else first.

Yamato wouldn't settle.

The thought is a painful reminder, and I miss him so much. I'm glad that the others feel his absence too, even if mostly for his stalwart leadership. It'll be good to be able to tell him that everyone missed him, not just Makoto and I, that he's more important to us as a person than he believes. I'm sure he'd say that's not important to him, but he also thought many other things were unimportant before we met.

We've resolved to believe that he's out there, that we'll find him, but I still can't help but worry. I can't imagine him living a mediocre life. It's Yamato — even if he's not with JP's, he'll be prominent in his field of choice, so it really worries me that none of us have even heard of him in this world.

I wonder if Miyako knows something. If she's anything like Yamato at all, then she must have a lot of secrets, the same way Yamato pretended not to know about Polaris the first time. Io thinks she's very kind, and I don't disagree, but I suspect her interests and ours might not be so well aligned.

I'm amused that Daichi is so attracted to her though, considering how terrified he used to be of Yamato. Miyako really does look exactly like him, only with softer features and curves. If she truly were the result of him reincarnating as a girl… well, let's just say I wouldn't be opposed. But she's not, of course —in a strange way, the similarities make the differences clearer— so it hurts a little just looking at her.

Sighing, I wrap the covers more snugly around myself. All my thoughts keep coming back to him. He once said I don't need anything from him, and he's not mistaken, but I remember the comfort of lying in his arms, the feeling that there's nothing we can't achieve together, even when the world was crumbling around us — I might not _need_ him, but I do _want_ him by my side. If he were here right now, I'd kiss him till we have to part, gasping for air. We'd discuss the crisis and find new solutions together. But most of all, we'd just hold each other close, let the warmth of love bring life to these dark times. Just being together is enough, no matter what's out there, and I know he'd say the same. Wherever he is, I'm sure he's missing me too, even if he doesn't remember it's me.

If he's out there at all, that is.

No, I need to have faith — I'll find him, surely.

Eventually, exhaustion claims me, and I drift off.


	30. Here Without You

It feels a bit selfish, but even with all our troubles —Saiduq missing, the shared nightmare, the Triangulum, everyone's muddled memories, Miyako's intentions— all I can think about is how Yamato's not here. Maybe it's just being in Osaka — I can't help but remember our battles at the Tsuutenkaku, our conversations on Ebisu Bridge, our first date out in the city and finally visiting Dōtonbori together, sharing all the local specialities he's never even tried.

I talk to everyone about their shared dream of being killed by Arcturus, trying to glean as much as possible — maybe it's not a dream, and it'll point to some answers. Maybe I'm just desperate for anything, anything at all, about Yamato. Daichi is right, of course — Yamato would have tons of ideas on solutions by now, which would really help, but that's not why I miss him.

Jungo and Keita have gotten close — it takes time to learn to identify forty-eight different versions of "crush you," after all. Airi and Hinako are almost like sisters now, protecting and inspiring each other. Joe is his usual laid-back self; Ronaldo is hard at work on the force; Daichi has really grown as a person too, and he's helping the SDF with the civilian relief efforts.

A few things have changed, but mostly, everyone's just like I remember them, and seeing everyone back together again is… bittersweet. In the context of our upcoming battle with Arcturus, the nightmare and its timing seem all too ominous, and everyone's presence only brings Yamato's absence into starker relief. Again, it's starting to feel like mine is the only situation that hasn't improved.

On top of all that, apparently, I'm flickering. I don't even know what that means, and I feel fine, but it's best to be cautious, so I go to Otome for a checkup anyway… a checkup that entails removing all my clothes. I'm not embarrassed or shy per se, but… well, I don't think anyone I know other than Yamato has seen me completely naked recently. It's a bit awkward because I know Otome personally, I guess.

That and because she says stuff like, "Oh my, you're rather built, huh?" with that playful teasing giggle.

Still, I gasp in mock horror, playing along. "I've been played!"

"Hm? I'm not playing. I'm being completely serious." Her poker face doesn't last — she dissolves back into giggles. "Completely serious about toying with you, that is. All right now, jokes aside…" She catches her breath and schools her face back to seriousness again. "There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you. Physically or spiritually."

As I thought. "I'm still uneasy though…" Io wouldn't mention it if she didn't think it was really serious.

"Well, I can't be completely sure yet… I'll want to keep an eye on you just in case anything changes. That way, if it really is something serious, we can treat it right away."

"Thanks," I tell her, "I'll be counting on you."

"Sounds like a plan," she replies cheerfully. "Leave it to me!"

She's a wonderful doctor, and I'm sure everyone at JP's would agree she's got great bedside manner. Even her teasing is good for cheering her patients up.

"And remember, we're all concerned for you, okay? We don't want anything to happen to you." She fixes her most caring, motherly look on me to reinforce the point. "I'll be here in Osaka all day if you need anything else."

As I leave, I look around the Osaka Main Branch and can't help a wistful sigh — Yamato and I spent so much time here together. I remember talking about love hotels right here in these corridors, bringing him lunch in his office, discussing operations together with the agents in the command room, learning to dance the waltz, that time he got drunk on awamori and told me not to leave him—

Sobbing, I lean into a recess in the wall, take a shuddering breath as my eyes sting. _Yamato, where are you? I told you, I don't want to do this without you._

I wipe my eyes —I hear voices and footsteps coming— and head back towards the Terminal room. I should go and see the others, see if they've learned anything new. I need to stay positive, keep everyone's spirits up for the battle ahead.

I'll find him, I swear. We still have a world to change together.

☆☆☆☆

Ugh… My entire body hurts. I wonder why Yamato never used his power like this before. If he had, we'd all be living in his meritocracy by now.

I try to move, only to find my hands cuffed to the narrow cot I'm lying on. In the single ceiling lamp's light, I realize this is a musty cell. I guess this is where we would have ended up if we hadn't overheard Yamato talking to Makoto and run off early the first time we came to JP's.

It's funny — even in this situation, I find myself thinking about him.

At any rate, we've confirmed our suspicions about Miyako — we can't trust her. I can even understand keeping Spica and Denebola for anti-Triangulum research, but if she's holding Saiduq prisoner, that means she's been lying to us this whole time. She could well have been lying about not knowing where Yamato is, too. We need to figure out what her agenda is. I… don't think she's a bad person, but she's definitely planning something. And if her plan involves imprisoning Saiduq and Yamato, then I'm going to need a lot of convincing that it can be allowed to proceed.

There's also that problem with my body. If I needed any confirmation that something's wrong, I have it — Aramisaki said I'm fading in and out of existence, too… aside from jumping to a million weird conclusions, that is. I probably shouldn't have lied to a goddess about my feelings —I only have eyes for Yamato, after all— but I guess I won't have to worry about it now that Miyako's exorcised her. I can't help feeling bad for Aramisaki though — I can relate to not wanting to be alone, especially for thousands of years.

I don't know what we can do about the flickering. Fumi said Otome wants to run more tests, but I honestly doubt we'll find anything. Besides, it doesn't look like I'm going anywhere. I can't break out of these cuffs, and it looks like my phone's been confiscated, so I won't be summoning any demons. If I scream for help, will anyone hear me?

"Somebody help me!" I try anyway, rattling the cuffs to make more noise. "Please…!?"

Yeah, I guess not. That was too much to hope for.

I try a few more times before giving up, deciding to rest and save my voice. I can't stay here forever though. We need to save Saiduq. That's the only way we're going to get any answers. Maybe he can tell me where Yamato is, too. Since Miyako plans to detain us alive, there'll probably be food and water sent down here eventually — maybe I can figure out how to escape then.

"You awake, Hibiki?" a familiar voice asks suddenly from outside the door, and that's—

"Otome?"

"Ding! Correct!" She opens the door, giggling. "Wake up, sleeping beauty!" She comes over. "So, you and Fumi really threw caution to the wind… The others were taken captive as well, so Makoto and I have been breaking them all out. Now hold still while I take your cuffs off." She takes a key out of her coat pocket and unlocks the handcuffs. "There!"

I sit up, stretching.

"Let's get you to the infirmary. The others are waiting for you there." She moves to the door and checks the corridor, then motions for me to follow her. "We've made it this far. So stay quiet, and we'll make sure to avoid the JP's agents."

Together, we sneak back to the infirmary examination room where, as she promised, everyone's already waiting.

"Hm, looks like Otome got you guys out too," Fumi is saying just as I walk in. "Well, that was troublesome. I can't believe they threw us in prison."

Actually, no, I can believe it all right — Yamato would have, too, maybe worse.

"Yeah!" Airi fumes. "She didn't even try to hear us out!"

Well, considering what happened to her father when he discovered JP's, no, I don't think Yamato would have heard us out either in a similar situation.

Hah, maybe I shouldn't use what Yamato would do as a benchmark, even if they are pretty similar people.

Makoto returns our phones, and the others discuss what to do, where to go from here, the possibility that Yamato is being held captive, too. No one wants to rescue Saiduq and Yamato more than I do, but first, we need to find out where Yamato is and how to dismantle the equipment that's imprisoning Saiduq. One thing's for sure though — we can't stay in JP's. We'll have to go rogue.

Otome decides to come with us out of concern for my health, but Makoto decides to stay with JP's to figure out Miyako's true intentions. I'm worried about her, but it's her choice to make.

So we part ways, and end up reuniting with Ronaldo in Nagoya. It's incredibly ironic to be taking over the Nagoya branch, but it's not like we have any better options. The JP's agents are no match for us, of course —Yamato would have been dismayed at how quickly the branch fell— and we settle in for the night.

I've never spent the night here, but I'm spared the effort of picking out a room by Otome who wants me to sleep in the infirmary, so that she can run more tests and monitor my condition. I find myself thinking of Yamato again as she sets everything up. I can't imagine him going peacefully to prison. If they'd tried to detain him, he would have fought back. Did they hurt him? I'll never forgive Miyako if she hurt him.

I can only hope that he's okay.

☆☆☆☆

I wake to hear about another shared dream and no further answers about my condition or this world. Makoto has rejoined us as well — it seems Miyako doesn't trust her anymore… rightly so, I suppose. Fumi though, ever amazing, has some great news — she's figured out a way to rescue Saiduq. If Yamato didn't have a monopoly on that position, she'd be my new favourite person.

As we prepare to hurry back to the Sky Tower, Makoto expresses her concerns about JP's not investigating Nicaea. My guess is Miyako knew all about it from interrogating Saiduq, but as to why she's allowing it to spread around the civilian population… well, perhaps Saiduq will have some answers once we rescue him.

That doesn't work out though. The machine sealing him is made with the Dragon Stream, and without Yamato, there's nothing we can do about it. We do learn some new information, however — this is the second time we've regressed the world after we deposed Polaris. That means we all died fighting Arcturus the last time. Well, more like everyone else died fighting Arcturus, and I wasn't even there.

But the only thing that matters is _Yamato's alive._

Yamato's alive, in the Akasha Stratum, and we just have to find a way to reach him. That's good enough for me. We'll find it and bring him back, no matter what.

Just knowing he's out there, that he's safe, eases my mind, and finally lets me focus on everything else. Hinako has learned first aid, Airi is writing a new song, Fumi is doing memory research, Ronaldo is organising people to protect the civilians, Keita is teaching a little boy to box, Jungo is improvising new chawan mushi using whatever ingredients he can find — it's heartening to see how much everyone has grown from their past experiences. Even the people have changed — they're stronger now, living with more purpose, more intent. It gives me hope — _Yamato, our dream is within reach._

Then Arcturus shows up.


	31. You're Still The One

I really should be more worried about how we're going to defeat Arcturus, but when that death video comes, my heart seizes, and nothing else matters. I'm as suspicious as Fumi to find the Sky Tower completely unguarded when we rush there, but I don't care. Yamato is in danger, and I would brave hell to keep him safe — a JP's trap will not stop me.

Fumi —bless her soul; I think I love her— figures the Terminal interface out in a jiffy, and we're off. When we reappear, I recognize the surroundings from the video footage, but I don't see Yamato. No one questions me, though, when I let instinct guide me to one of the exits and down a corridor of sorts. We round a corner, and there he is —thank heavens— surrounded on a platform above.

"Chief Yamato!" Makoto calls out, and he whirls.

Our eyes meet, and he gasps — longing, hope and fear flash by in quick succession, and I'm too relieved to speak. He recovers quickly though, turning to the others.

"What are you all doing here?"

"We're here to rescue you," Makoto answers honestly, and I cringe a bit inside.

_C'mon, Mako, you know better than to imply he needs help, right?_

She whips out her phone. "Huh? What are these things? The summoning app doesn't recognize them!"

I don't care what they are. I won't let them harm Yamato.

"No time to talk about it now!" Hinako expresses my sentiments exactly. "Let's trounce 'em first and ask questions later!"

Daichi nods as we summon our demons. "Let's go!"

As we fight our way towards each other, Yamato looks torn between touched and irritated. "Y—you're all…"

"Hey, it's the Yamster!" Joe greets cheerfully — okay, probably more annoyed now. "We're tonight's entertainment! Don't forget to tip your saviours!"

_Ugh, Joe, not you too…_

"Just who do you think I am…?" he retorts — definitely annoyed, and Gods, I've missed this. He sighs, long-suffering, as he turns to focus on the battle at hand. "Never mind, stay sharp! As you've seen, these creatures cannot be completely defeated. You can halt them for a time if you deal them a fatal blow, but eventually, they will be reactivated. We'll talk once we finish immobilizing them!"

Fortunately, the strange creatures go down easily, and I immediately run to him as he picks his coat up.

"Hmph… It looks like they've been silenced for now." He's barely finished speaking when I throw my arms around him. "H—Hibiki…"

"You're okay…" I sob into his neck, clutching him tightly to me. "You're okay, Yamato. I'm so glad. I thought I'd lost you."

"I see…" His arms come up to wrap loosely around my waist, none of the intensity I've come to expect. "My apologies, Hibiki. It must have seemed to you that I had disappeared." His voice is gentle, yet he seems… distant, cold. Something's… changed.

I shake my head — maybe it's the timing, the stress. "You're safe. That's all that matters. We received a death video, and I was so afraid that we wouldn't make it in time."

"I see. So that's what brings you all here." He lets go, and I step back as the others congregate around us.

"Whew!" exclaims Daichi as he comes to a stop beside me. "I think that's all of 'em!"

"You must get out of here," Yamato insists, calm yet urgent. "Those things will reactivate any moment now."

"Yeah, sounds good! Wait…" Daichi seems to realize what he said. "You're coming too, right?"

"Chief, we need you to return with us," Makoto cuts straight to the chase. "Why were you here for so long? What have you been doing all this time?"

"I stayed behind in order to restore his data," Yamato answers, looking at me, and again — fear, hope, longing.

"Restore his data?" Makoto echoes, confused. "What do you mean…?"

"Tell me," he says, still looking at me. "Have you defeated Arcturus yet?"

"Not yet," I admit. Unfortunately, "We need your help."

He falls silent, but instead of the disappointment I expect, he only looks troubled, worried.

"We didn't stand a chance against it…" Io explains. "If we had your help, I really think we can defeat Arcturus."

"Yeah!" Daichi quickly agrees. "Plus, as soon as it appeared, the Void started to spread really quickly! So we need to do something fast, or there won't be a world left to save. We need you and Saiduq to help us defeat Arcturus."

Yamato all but twitches at the mention of Saiduq, and "Where is Alcor?" he asks, patience palpably thin.

"Miyako-chan's holding him captive with the Dragon Stream," Daichi answers sadly. "Without you, we've got no way of rescuing him."

Now he's outright angry. "Who's this Miyako person?"

"Chief Hotsuin Miyako is the current head of the Hotsuin family… and of JP's," Makoto takes over. "In this world, at least. So, you don't know who she is either." She proceeds to explain the rest of the situation to him in a nutshell, and listening to her report seems to calm him down.

"It seems we encountered more than a few unforeseen complications," he murmurs. "…Hotsuin Miyako, huh?"

I suppose I shouldn't mention that they look exactly alike.

Makoto bows and continues, "I apologize for calling you, 'Chief Yamato.' It's disrespectful, but we agreed it was less confusing…"

I resist the urge to bury my face in my hands. Only Makoto would be hung up about this. Yamato has never been one to stand on ceremony.

"What? That's all right." His fists clench. "Dammit, Alcor… I left him in charge of defending you all. Useless trash…"

Well, in Saiduq's defense, Miyako _is_ rather formidable. She did singlehandedly restrain Arcturus. But defending Saiduq to him is a task best left to someone else.

"Anyhow," Fumi chimes in, "with Saiduq out of commission, we're in a bit of a bind here."

"Very well… Acknowledged. However…" Yamato hesitates. "I am unable to leave this place."

"What?! But why?" Makoto asks, shocked.

"If I leave…" Violet eyes flick to me again, and this time, all I see is raw pain. "Hibiki will cease to exist."

No… I think I understand. "Is this related to my body disappearing?"

"Precisely." His voice is even, calm, betraying none of the pain and fear I can see in his eyes. "So I take it it's already begun happening?"

"Do you mean," asks Io, "the way his body keeps fading in and out?"

Yamato nods, but he never looks away from me. "It is happening because his data within the Akashic Record is damaged. The data in that Record dictates every event that occurs in the world. When someone's data is damaged… their very existence is in jeopardy. And his data is degenerating even as we speak."

Behind him, the formerly smooth stream of glowing blue symbols suddenly fizzles, becoming erratic, and Io gasps, but she's not looking at it.

She's looking at me.

I take it I'm flickering again, and this time, when I glance down at my hands, I see it too. It's like… static on a video.

Yamato turns and… does something, and it reverts to a smooth-flowing stream. Simultaneously, the flickering stops. _Oh._ I look from my hands to the stream of symbols and back again. _So that's… my data…?_ It's a… strange, intimate revelation.

"I stayed here to try and repair it. If I abandon this," he continues grimly, turning back to us, "his data will become fully corrupted."

"And… what happens if it's fully corrupted?" This time, I don't know whether Daichi really isn't with the program or just hoping the answer won't be what he's expecting.

"His existence will be purged from the origin, and he will simply cease to be," Yamato confirms, and I wonder, if that happened, would he remember me? Would anyone? Would there eventually be another to make him happy in my place? "If that happened, it would be permanent. Even regressing the world would not bring him back."

"Permanent?!" Okay, so Daichi wasn't wishfully feigning ignorance. "Y—you gotta be joking, right?"

For a moment, I wonder if we could just stay here forever instead. As long as we're together, even this place is fine. We would protect each other from strange enemies in this endless flux of data, take comfort in each other's company.

Heh, I doubt it. Eventually, we'd be erased too.

"Why… Why is this happening to Hibiki?!" Io asks, dismayed.

"The Triangulum are behind it. They are attacking his data in the Record."

Right. That's why he asked if we'd defeated Arcturus yet.

"So that's why the anomalies were happening when we fought Spica and Arcturus…" she concludes.

"The corruption will continue as long as the Triangulum still exist. If I had not been here to restore it, he would have disappeared long ago…" Again, he looks at me with such pain and longing, and I recognize the feeling — it has plagued me these past few days. "That is why he was absent in the previous world. The Triangulum actually began disrupting his data during that regression."

"That's the world in which we were killed by Arcturus," Makoto surmises grimly. "So there really was a second regression. This world is our third… We don't actually remember much of the middle world," she confesses, troubled. "All we can really recall is our demise at Arcturus' hands. All the other memories are… hazy, distant…"

Yamato tears his eyes from me. "You have no memory of the interim world? Hm…" He grows pensive. "It must be an effect of regression. Or maybe Arcturus targeted data related to your memories in the Record…?"

I wonder. In truth, I think everyone's memories are a bit off, even those from before.

"Give us a long, detailed summary," I decide, since I wasn't there and know absolutely nothing.

"Chief… What happened in the second world?" Makoto seems almost afraid to ask.

"Where should I begin…" He sighs. "After we defeated Polaris, Alcor took his place on the Heavenly Throne and regressed the world. However, our friend here," and the way he says those three words sounds angry, resentful, "was not present in the new world. That was when the Triangulum invaded. It was unexpected, even for Alcor and myself. We suspect there is something in the Akashic Record we were unaware of… Either that, or Polaris was correct about our species, and these new invaders also wanted us gone… The rest of us managed to fight off Spica and Denebola. But Arcturus brought us down, one by one. Alcor and I managed to destroy it, but only after you had all died and the world was on the verge of collapse."

"Our dream…" whispers Io, stricken.

"Despite our victory, it was still the end of humanity. And so, Alcor and I decided to regress the world once again. I salvaged what data I could about our friend," and there it is again — he's bitter about something I've done, "and I began repairing the record…"

He falls silent then, and I long to ask why he's upset, to hold him, to take away his pain, but in the end, I only say his name gently. He lets out a soft grunt, then smiles slightly… as if exasperated that he can't stay mad at me, and I mirror it tentatively. I feel like apologizing —I don't want to leave anything to fester— but I can't think of what I could have done wrong, and an empty apology is meaningless.

"And that is why you exist now, in this world thrice-repeated," he finishes softly. "I have been continually manipulating the Astrolabe to restore your data."

The Astrolabe? "What does the Astrolabe do?"

"The Astrolabe is an apparatus that allows me to manipulate data in the Akashic Record. We are technically inside it. This whole area itself is part of the Astrolabe. This is where the Administrator re-engineers the Akashic Record. I have been using it to salvage and restore your damaged data, Hibiki."

All this time, he's been here, trying to keep me in existence.

"Thank you… Yamato, you saved my life." I'd kiss him senseless, but now is hardly the time.

He smiles, eyes soft — perhaps he's glad to have repaid me at last. "All I did… was wager on a certain potential."

"So, lemme just clear this up…" Daichi interjects — way to kill the moment. "The Astro— whatever; can't someone else just do it? I—I mean, I could take your place, you return to the real world, solve the problems… Yeah?"

"The Astrolabe can't be operated by humans," Yamato replies as I expected. "I can only manipulate it with the Dragon Stream, but even then, I don't have full control. It is meant for beings like Alcor or the Administrator."

"Can't we just pause it? Just for a little bit? You could go with us, and if his body starts getting all glitchy again, you can just come back and fix it," Airi suggests.

Yamato shakes his head. "That is impossible. The moment I leave, the Astrolabe will cease all activity."

"Cease activity?" Makoto repeats worriedly. "What do you mean, Chief?"

"As I said before, this entire place is just a part of the machinery. Every other part of the Astrolabe has been locked down and ceased all function. This area is only functional because I am constantly manipulating it. So the moment I leave, it will be shut down and sealed off. We would be locked out indefinitely. I would be unable to resume my task to restore his data."

"But, Sir, what exactly causes the Astrolabe to shut down?"

"I would assume Arcturus is behind it. It is trying to prevent humans from tinkering with it." Again, he sighs. "If you are able to destroy Arcturus without me… Then, I will no longer need to mend his data, and I can leave the Akasha Stratum."

"Is that the potential you were talking about? The risk you took? If we'd been able to defeat Arcturus on our own, you'd be able to come back, and there'd be no chance he'd disappear." Daichi looks dejected by our powerlessness. "That's the world you wanted… isn't it? No one mysteriously missing, or fading… Safe…"

"Ha… Who knows?"

But he smiles, only for me, a silent admission that he wouldn't be here if it had been anyone else that was missing. He's warmed up to the others some, but he wouldn't go this far for any other, and a selfish part of me is glad — he's mine, he always will be.

"But how are we supposed to do that?" Airi demands, frustrated. "How are we supposed to defeat Arcturus?! None of our attacks work against that monster!"

"Human attacks are ineffective. Only the Dragon Stream, or creatures such as Alcor can harm it," Yamato explains — figures. "Since I am unable to leave, Alcor is your only hope. You must negotiate Alcor's release with this… Hotsuin Miyako," he says the name with a hint of distaste.

"I seriously doubt Miyako's just gonna release him, even if we tried to talk some sense into her," Airi replies, and yeah, I'm with her on this one. "What're we gonna do?"

Everyone falls silent. When no new ideas are forthcoming, "How long until I disappear for good?" I wonder aloud. What if we could kill Arcturus in the time we have left?

"Even should I stop the restoration, it won't be immediate…" Yamato allows, pensive once more. "Several hours, I would say. You should be fine within that time. Wait…" I see him catch on. "You aren't suggesting I go back with you and help fight Arcturus, are you?" He gives it more thought. "If we bested Arcturus within that window, the corruption in your data would be halted. There would be no threat of your disappearing."

"Sweet," I tell him, forcing a confident grin, "problem solved."

"But if we were unsuccessful, you would be permanently lost!" he protests — it's a big risk, I know. "Negotiating with Miyako for Alcor's release would really be the more logical plan… Yet you would prefer to have me return to our world?"

But facing Arcturus is a big risk regardless, and if there's a chance we'll fall in battle or I'll disappear, then I want my last moments to be at Yamato's side. If we're going to fight, then "I want to fight by your side once more."

That wish might be selfish or unkind, but Yamato actually seems charmed by the sentiment, as if I'd said every maudlin thought that's crossed my mind so far aloud. "Is that… what you want, Hibiki? Arcturus is a powerful adversary. Are you sure I cannot change your mind?"

I won't pretend with him — the prospect of oblivion scares the crap out of me, but we _have_ to do this, so "Don't make me repeat myself."

"Ha, I suppose not…" He seems at once fond and resigned.

The stream of data, and my body, flickers again. Yamato turns around and fixes it before turning back to me.

"We only have one chance," he decides, violet eyes brimming with affection. "Don't let me down."

"Thank you, Yamato," Io says with quiet sincerity.

"Yeah, man, thanks," Daichi chimes in. "We're counting on you again."

He shakes his head. "There's no reason to thank me. I would not have agreed with this plan if I didn't think you were all strong enough to carry it out," or if I had wanted it any other way, but "Now that our mission is clear, there isn't a moment to waste. Those things we defeated will reactivate soon."

No sooner has he spoken than one such creature starts moving.

"Eeeeh…! G—guys!" Daichi warns. "They're moving again!"

As usual, Yamato swiftly takes charge. "We must get out of here and move on to Arcturus immediately."

"Yeah! Got it!" Daichi is quick to obey, as are the others.

We hurry back the way we came, and as we walk, I squeeze Yamato's hand. I still believe — together, there's nothing we can't achieve.


	32. Home, Love, Family

As soon as Yamato gets back, he automatically assumes leadership, making plans and issuing orders. It's just like old times, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The others fall in step easily — it's been weird all this time, not having him to direct us. We don't manage to rescue Saiduq, however —JP's has relocated him— so we'll just have to make do.

I find Yamato in Roppongi, observing the city, and he says we won't lose this time… because we're together. I can only mirror his fierce smile and pretend I'm more confident about this battle than I actually am. I trust him with my life, of course, but I still feel so powerless when there's nothing I can do against Arcturus, when my fate is completely beyond my control.

By the time I'm standing in front of Shiki-Ouji, I question why Yamato isn't the one here. If anyone among us has the mystical training to qualify as a Tayuu, it would be him. Still, he put me in charge, and I trust his judgement, so I do the only thing I can — prove my strength to the spirit in battle.

He must have been watching — he approaches as soon as the contract is complete and takes Shiki-Ouji to incorporate into an app he's making. When he explains the app's functions in the lab, everyone is horrified that I will be the sacrifice, but finally, I'm not afraid.

I look at him, at the concern beneath the façade of calm as he asks if I'll do it, and I _know_ he will keep me safe, as he has all this time.

"I'm not afraid." This, finally, is something I can do. I can help him. We can protect each other.

He smiles back at me, eyes shining with pride. "I knew you wouldn't be. You convinced me to leave the Akasha Stratum. That's the sort of courage we need from you right now!"

"That's tough," Fumi notes. "We'll just have to do what we can to stop you from getting too beat up. Chief, will the app also affect our demons?"

"No, only humans," Yamato answers, as if it should be obvious. "He will not absorb damage for our demons." They're dispensable tools, after all, unworthy of my sacrifice, he'd be the first to say.

"So, only damage that we sustain will be transferred through the app. And when he activates it, we won't be weakened anymore, right?" Fumi surmises. "We should boost our elemental defense against Arcturus' attacks, so they'll be less effective when it's weakening ability is cancelled. That'll mean less damage to Hibiki too. Actually, if we don't, he'll probably die instantly."

"Die instantly?!" Hinako echoes, wincing. "You sure know how to make us all feel better."

"Hey, we shouldn't sugar-coat something like this," Fumi retorts. "Not if we want to keep him alive. This is a dangerous plan, and we need to take it seriously."

"Kanno's right," Yamato agrees. "We have an obligation to reduce the impact of Arcturus' attacks. We must prepare well before battle."

"Sorry you gotta be the one, Hibiki…" Wow, this is big — Keita's even showing his "dere" side. "Just grin 'n bear it, all right? I know you can do it."

"Yeah. If we make sure we're completely prepared, we can win fast. The last thing we want is a war of attrition." Heck, even Joe is all serious.

I feel blessed — I have the best friends.

Yamato checks, "Is everyone clear on how the app works now?"

"I got it!" I tell him as the rest nod.

"Very well. There is no time left; we must take down Arcturus as soon as possible."

I nod and turn to the others. "Let's all come back in one piece!"

"We are prepared," Yamato declares. "This time, we will defeat Arcturus and keep everyone safe."

"And then, we'll get Saiduq back, and we can use the Astrolabe to fix the world. So, uh… Yeah, we can finally fix this world…!" I giggle at Daichi's attempt at a pep talk, but it does cheer me up, at least, so I suppose it worked.

"Focus on the task at hand, everyone," our leader reminds us. "Prepare to engage Arcturus."

As we exit the lab, I catch his arm to pull him into a kiss, but he envelops me in a tight hug instead. I— I doubt he could have mistaken my intent, but…

"Hibiki…" He's trembling, but he doesn't say another word.

I squeeze my eyes shut and return the embrace. Once again, the fate of the world rests on our shoulders, and I don't think we'll ever get used to this kind of pressure. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I don't know how Yamato does it, but I do — he doesn't. Between the two of us, we just cope somehow, every single time. We cope, and we support each other.

Eventually, the tremors cease, and he steps back. "Let's go."

He leaves without another word, and I— I still don't know what I've done that he resents so much, or if that's why he's being strangely distant, but he's right — I have to focus. It's all moot if we don't defeat Arcturus. We can talk later.

☆☆☆☆

Neither Yamato nor Miyako has quarters at the Nagoya branch, so when we retire for the night after hearing Miyako's plan, we choose an empty room together, then Yamato heads straight for the shower without a word. I return with some supper to find him already asleep — now that he's no longer in the Akasha Stratum, he can feel exhaustion again, and it's all kicking in at once. Of course he's tired — he never stopped working on the Astrolabe, and as soon as he got back, he had to lead our battle efforts against Arcturus.

I can only hope to deserve his devotion someday.

He says he bet on my potential, but he always has. Once he discerned it, he's always believed. I don't think he would otherwise have allowed himself to love me.

I set the food on the table, then shower as well before joining him to find that he didn't bother with clothes either. Great minds think alike — the better to wake each other up properly. Everyone's going to hear us, but I really don't care. He wakes with a start when I shift closer, and I remind myself that he's lived without me for so much longer than I've lived without him. 

"Hey…" I smile, lying on my side to face him. It's a bit cramped, but I want to be close anyway.

He reaches out to caress my face. "Hibiki…"

But something's definitely wrong.

It's not the same.

There's a… distance between us now, like there has been all day. I saw the longing and relief in his eyes when we were first reunited and tried to stay close, but he's been less than receptive. I thought it might have been the stress of battling Arcturus, or something I did to upset him, but maybe it's just been too long for him.

I cover his hand with my own. "Sorry for waking you."

He shakes his head, smiling as he tugs me into his arms and buries his face in my neck.

"I've missed you." I cling to him. "I was so scared when I couldn't find you. I was afraid we'd somehow managed to regress the world without you in it."

"I lived in a world without you, Hibiki. If I thought the world rotten before, then without you, it was meaningless. I tried to protect it —as a Hotsuin, as you would have wished— but sometimes, I didn't know what I was fighting for. The only one truly worthy of protection wasn't even there," he sighs, kissing my jaw. "I have never feared death, Hibiki, and the truth is, at heart, I didn't care if that world was erased. Even if we had successfully saved it, living in it without you was unthinkable to me. And yet…" He shakes his head. "As the end loomed closer, I… found myself afraid that I'd never see you again. I couldn't let it end like that —our dreams, our possibilities, everything we strove to achieve— without you. Even as those strange creatures cornered me in the Stratum earlier, it was all I could think of."

"Thank you, and I'm sorry." I bury my face in his hair. "I know I said you'd never be alone again. I'm sorry I broke that promise so quickly. I'll do better this time." Responsibility and sacrifice — I swore I'd change that, that it wouldn't be more of the same between us. "I won't leave you. I'll never leave you again."

"So you say…" He frowns. "I take it that means you've decided?"

"Of course." I kiss his brow. "Don't give yourself frown lines. I wouldn't bring you back here just to die."

"And if it turns out there really is no other way?"

I shake my head. "It won't. There is, and we'll find it. Like we always have before. I swear it."

"Hah…" He cracks a relieved smile, and just like that, the distance is gone. "There it is. That's my Hibiki."

He must have been afraid he'd lose me again. Just like in the earlier battle when he was unable to do enough damage to Arcturus, he wasn't afraid for his life — he was angry with himself, afraid he'd led me to my death. Yamato always seems so strong — no one ever sees his pain.

"When I saw your pensive expression earlier, I worried I'd restored you wrong somehow."

I laugh, squeezing his waist. "You're too perfect for that."

Crossing his arms, he muses, "We'll have to fight this Hotsuin Miyako then." He's worried — Miyako's power over the Dragon Stream exceeds his own, even compared to the way it was in the previous worlds. That's why he never used it against us the way she did — he couldn't.

I take his hand, press my lips to his knuckles. "I have every faith in you." He'll figure out a countermeasure, I'm sure of it. Giggling, I add, "You know, when I first saw her, I asked if you'd reincarnated as a girl?"

"What? Why would you think something so absurd?"

"Is it really so absurd? At heart, she isn't so different from you, and it was better than believing you truly gone."

"What d—" Yamato stops, then sighs. "No, you may be right. After all, as head of the Hotsuin clan, we must have had similar grounding. And…" He hesitates. "I understand. In the previous world, it was… difficult for me to accept that you were nowhere to be found as well. I demanded answers of Alcor, but receiving them did not assuage me."

"I'm sorry," is all I can say, shifting down to press my forehead to his. I _know_ how hard it was — mere days of thinking he might be gone were unbearable to me. "You're the strongest person I've ever known, and I've always asked too much of you."

Shaking his head, he cups my cheek and smiles. "You have also given me so much, Hibiki. Do you know," his smile turns conspiratorial, "I thought about you every night?" He grabs the bottle of lotion on the table, some citrus-scented stuff the last agent who used this room left behind, and presses it into my hands. "Sleep was a challenge for a while." He hooks a leg over my hip and pins me down on my back. "You," he purrs into my ear, and I shiver, "made me need things that I lived just fine without before. You," he kisses me hungrily, "keep taking foolish risks that I have to deal with after. You," he sucks marks into my neck precisely where the old ones had been, "have utterly ruined me. Sometimes, I hated you for it. You should make it up to me."

I should be penitent, I think, but the only thing I am right now is turned on. The image of Yamato moaning my name as he touches himself, writhing in bed with a toy or finger inside, is incredibly hot. "Heavens, Yamato," I coat my hand in the lotion, "what else were you looking at in the Akashic Record?" He's barely touched me, and I'm already half hard.

"Us," he says simply, squeezing his eyes shut with a whimper as I start preparing him. He's tight — it's been so long. "Every moment, every memory — more than anything, I wanted to protect that data. I couldn't let you forget."

 _Gods,_ in moments like these, I can barely breathe from how much I love him. "Even if I forget, I'll love you again," I promise, sitting up to embrace him tightly. "Like you did before. I'll relearn everything and love you more."

"Heh." He chuckles fondly. "Never thought I'd miss these little maudlin things you say, b—ahh!" I'm in, and he's always been so sensitive. "Looking back, they were some of my favourite moments… You could be so silly, but you were always sincere. Alone in the previous world, I regretted that it took me so long to see." He pulls me atop him and wraps his legs around my waist. "Stop teasing. You've kept me waiting long enough."

I kiss him again as I press in slowly, and the sound he makes is at once of pleasure and pain. Lacing our fingers on either side of his head, I carefully shift into a better angle and start to ask if I'm hurting him, but he beats me to words.

"I've missed you," he says at last, violet eyes dark and half-lidded. He always looks so debauched, so vulnerable like this, and it still takes my breath away. "Hibiki, please."

I don't question —I can never resist— just start moving slowly. But gently is enough —Yamato arches off the bed, gasping my name, grip tightening on my hands— and this is perfect, this is home.

I cradle him close, mark my claim on him anew. I won't let anything tear us apart again.


	33. Leap of Faith

Everyone seems to favour Miyako's decision to have the JP's agents protect civilians, and if Yamato feels the slight on how he used to run things, well, he doesn't show it. For the most part, he seems content to focus on defeating Canopus, to let me placate his jealousy over my concern for Saiduq's wellbeing with public displays of affection.

It isn't until he flinches beside me as Saiduq explains that I shielded him from Canopus' attack that I realize why Yamato was angry before. He's always been possessive… and especially touchy when it comes to Saiduq.

Snaking an arm around his waist, I lean into his side and whisper, "Yamato, you know I—"

"Yes," he cuts me off quietly. "You explained."

"But I still hurt you," I sigh, "I'm sorry."

He doesn't answer, returning his attention to Saiduq's explanation, but after several moments, he wraps an arm around me for a brief squeeze, and a smile breaks unbidden unto my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Miyako's surprised stare — I'm guessing that when she surmised how important Yamato is to me, she wasn't thinking along these lines.

Speaking of Miyako, the best part about having her on our side isn't the lack of infighting. It's not access to the full resources of JP's and her superior knowledge of our situation. It's not even having Saiduq back. It's her and Yamato settling into a masterfully executed sibling rivalry… at least on Miyako's part. _Sorry, love._

Even I know better than to laugh audibly every time they interact, but watching them tease and snipe at each other is enough to bring cheer to even these dismal final hours, and far be it from me to call the way she suggested travelling abroad to Yamato anything but the masterstroke of genius that it is. Daichi was absolutely right on the money, approaching her for gift ideas. Of course, Yamato and I have talked about going to see the Northern Lights and the Salt Flats before, but this, and Miyako's existence, may well be the final push that he needs.

_Ah, Daichi, things that only you can do._

I find myself wandering back to the Sky Tower Terminal in Oshigami to watch Miyako and Saiduq work on the Terminal upgrades. I have no idea what they're doing, but it's still fascinating work, and everyone keeps coming here to befriend Miyako anyway. Jungo brings her chawan mushi, of course, and Makoto comes to discuss the hypothetical train scenario that Yamato and I advised her about earlier. I'm a bit surprised to find that Yamato came to watch, I'll admit, but he's always had a sweet side that few have the privilege of seeing. I only asked for his input to be sure, but he didn't disappoint — as I thought, Miyako sees limits; Yamato sees possibilities.

_Think about every angle… That's why it has to be you. That's why, as long as we're together, there's nothing we can't achieve — a force that can sway even the preordained fate of the world. We'll find a way to beat Canopus — I'm sure of it._

I kiss his jaw as he turns to leave, satisfied, asking if he won't say something to Makoto, and he shakes his head. He smirks, kissing my brow and muttering something about how I'm still so soft. Still, his touch lingers till we can no longer reach, and an intense fondness bubbles up inside me — I know I'm smiling like a fool as I watch him go.

Daichi might have competition on both fronts though. I'm starting to think that Io has a crush on Miyako that isn't entirely unrequited, and she may well be competing with Saiduq if their "cuteness" is anything to go by. I sit down beside Miyako by the Terminal, thinking to tease her about Saiduq and Io, when I notice that she's trembling. It seems we've finally gotten through to her, and she has begun to value her own life, as well as her friendship with us. I'm glad — Yamato, Miyako and Saiduq —human, half-human and Sword— even a demon like Aramisaki… none of them should have to be alone.

"Careful," I tell Miyako with a wink when she calls me her Shining One, "this is a tough and dangerous competition to join."

"Oh?" She snaps back to her haughty self, violet eyes twinkling with amusement. "I suppose I should play fair then and warn my brother that the competition is open."

"And disappoint your many suitors?" I ask, giggling.

"My—" She blinks, brows furrowed. "My what?"

"Hahaha, weren't you having a moment with Io back there?"

"I— She's my friend," she protests. "My first friend!"

Raising an eyebrow, I point out, "I was Yamato's friend, too. That doesn't mean things can't change."

"Indeed, Hotsuin Miyako," Saiduq interjects, suddenly at our side. "Kuze Hibiki is both my Shining One and my friend. It does not have to be just one way or the other."

Miyako is so cute when she's flustered, but oh, it'd be naughty to flirt with my lover's twin, wouldn't it? And Yamato really would be madly jealous. So, instead, I seize the offered escape route. "Yes, and wasn't Saiduq just confessing his love for you?"

The Star brightens. "Yes. I love you, Hotsuin Miyako."

Oh my. I hope Miyako never picks up his weird diction, too — we don't need a third source of misunderstandings.

"I— You—" she splutters. "D—don't say such things so carelessly!"

"Ah…!" Saiduq looks genuinely hurt. "Were there faults in my phrasing? I assure you I was completely sincere."

I take advantage of their distraction to slip away. After all, if Saiduq only means to say that he loves her the way he loves the rest of us, he should explain it himself.

Meanwhile, I find Yamato at a table in the command centre, reports strewn in front of him and lost in thought.

"Thinking about Miyako?" I guess, sitting beside him and taking his hand to caress the inside of his wrist.

He gives me a wry smile, as if to say, "you know me so well," then keeps his eyes on our joined hands as he contemplates leaving JP's to Miyako and travelling with me — just like we talked about that evening on Lake Shinji so long ago now. Looks like I have a vacation to plan once all this is over.

Once all this is over… Here we are, talking about going up against the Divine Order of the Universe itself to decide the world's future, and everyone's making plans for what we're going to do after we're done. Small wonder Miyako thinks we're mad — we don't even have a concrete plan on how to defeat Canopus yet, but there's so much optimism in the air.

Still, morale is important. It's good to have hope.

And if Saiduq and Yamato are making up, anything is possible.

I grin, pressing my lips to gloved knuckles, as he tells the Star to learn to walk. Not even Saiduq's unexpected participation is going to stop me from making this trip an unforgettable honeymoon.

☆☆☆☆

I've been lost in thought for some time when warm arms slip around my waist from behind. Standing here, gazing down at the command centre several floors below, trying to focus on the decision before me instead of how many more people there used to be bustling around, it's become so familiar now. It's easy, even, to smile and lean back, to sigh my lover's name as his arms tighten around me, to cover his hands with my own as he presses his lips to my temple.

"Hibiki, do you have a moment?"

Chuckling, I turn to loop my arms around his neck. "You know I always have moments for you."

He scoffs, shakes his head in fond exasperation.

"What's up?" I ask, even though we both know why he's here.

"Have you come to a decision?"

Three paths, each with their own consequences… We're short on time, but "I'd like to give it more thought." The fate of the world cannot be chosen lightly or in a rush, after all, and again, everyone is trusting me with the final decision.

Yamato nods. "Of course."

Daichi would probably say something about not envying me this responsibility, but not Yamato, never Yamato. He and Miyako can fully appreciate being in this position, and he wouldn't insult me with sympathy.

Leaning forward, I nose the graceful curve of his neck, savour the warmth and the scent of him, and he nuzzles my hair. "Before you," he murmurs, "I never would have imagined a gesture as simple as this could be so comforting, and yet… Increasingly, I find, it has been a source of strength for us."

I can't help the contented smile that splits my face. We've come so far together — we beat Polaris, we beat Arcturus, and now, we've even found a way to beat Canopus. Thinking about it this way, Ronaldo's idea actually doesn't sound half bad. Armed with Canopus' four Prime Factors, we can just crush every would be Administrator until they learn to leave us alone. And yet…

I lean back to look up at Yamato, trace the lines that a life of preparing for and fighting this war has wrought upon his young face. I don't mind an endless fight. I don't mind regressing the world to this point in our lives over and over again. But if we were to fall… I don't want this to be the only life he's ever lived. He deserves better. He deserves the peace to go on that trip to see the world. He deserves to be happy… even if it's without me.

No. No, I swore I'd never leave him again.

I think of Jungo and his cat, of Airi and Hinako — honesty, trust, strong bonds that last across worlds. I think of the people at the marketplace and the thugs that tried to bully them — just as some people have grown, others are still up to the same misdeeds. I agree with Miyako — all humans, no matter how base, wish for some form of happiness. And yet, what if this wish comes at the expense of someone else's happiness? This was a prevalent problem in the world before. To quote my beloved, "That is how the world rotted."

But Yamato knew what he was doing when he told me more about the Astrolabe and Administrative Authority than anyone else, trusting that, together, we'd find a way out of this dilemma… like we always have. And now, looking at the possibility that we discovered together — is that really the best future? Can we risk everything on this speculation? It'd be easy to just follow my heart, but the fact is, this isn't just about the two of us.

"Hibiki," he starts, and my smile turns sly.

"You know, I'd call this cheating, but you already had an unfair advantage to begin with."

"Hahaha! Very funny, even now — I suppose that's what makes you who you are."

I cup his cheek. "That's why you love me…?"

Yamato shakes his head, lifting a hand to squeeze mine. "Once," he sighs, turning serious, "I would never even have considered such a risky solution. It was you who showed me that humans can grow and change, Hibiki. It was you who opened my eyes to the differences I saw as I observed this world. The man I was before would have passed it all by, never noticing anything different, and I—" He finds my other hand with his, clasping my hands in both his own, and belatedly, I realize that he's not wearing his gloves.

"Hibiki."

My eyes snap to his.

"In truth, we've barely spent a year together. I'm not satisfied with so little, and I'd hate to think that you could be. I don't want 'always' to be some abstract concept, some carelessly uttered sophism. I want years, decades, even centuries with you. I want to spend lifetimes broadening my horizons at your side. And no matter what kind of world awaits us beyond, I know we can do it."

His fierce smile swims, and I'm blinking the sting out of my eyes.

"So join me on this path, Hibiki. Will you believe in me, as I once believed in you? Will you take a chance on humanity?"

I— I open my mouth to reply, but the only sound that escapes is something between a gasp and a chuckle. "Yamato, I— Wow… That's… the most romantic thing I've ever heard."

And he's right. He's right.

All this time, I've been the one telling him to have faith. I've been the one to find optimism in the world he saw as rotten. How could I lose hope now when he's finally, finally ready?

"Thank you," I tell him, tugging him along as I race back to the command centre. "You reminded me of something very important. Let's do it," I announce as we rejoin the others, lacing our fingers. "Yes, Yamato. Yes."

With a radiant smile, he throws his arms around me. "I knew you would understand."


	34. Our Solemn Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay. I couldn't decide whether to write this chapter, initially, and then I got both busy and distracted. In the end, I felt like the game made overly light of the situation, so I went with this route anyway. I can only hope it was worth the wait.

We have three hours till the final preparations for our battle with Canopus will be ready, three hours of respite before we go to fight for the future of humanity. Everyone has split up, probably to catch some sleep while their phones charge, but I find myself restlessly wandering the halls instead.

I need the rest, I know, but… we're flying blind into this.

There's no guarantee that Saiduq can make Skill Crack work on the Prime Factors. There's no guarantee that the anomaly created by Yamato and Miyako coexisting and using the Dragon Stream will work on Canopus itself, even if it worked on the Shards. We keep talking about how risky our plans for what to do with the world after we regain control of the Astrolabe are, but no one wants to address the proverbial elephant in the room — our battle against Canopus is the riskiest plan of all. There's no way to test it, and once we get there, there's no turning back — it's literally do or die.

We're betting everything on this one chance, and we can't afford to even consider the possibility of failure.

But it's there, and we can only have faith.

Lost in thought, I find myself suddenly at the Chief's office. The door is slightly ajar, however, and I believe it's unlike Miyako to leave it this way, regardless of whether she is in, so I decide to check.

It's Yamato sitting in the chair, but although he's facing a screen full of data, his eyes are unfocused, his expression pensive. His gaze snaps to mine as I enter, and I know at once that we've been perpending the exact same thing.

"Hibiki," he says, quiet but firm, "you should sleep." Still, he extends his hand, and I go to his side to take it.

"So should you." I smile wistfully, squeezing his hand. "Could you, though?"

"Hmph." He stands and pulls me close, holding me as if to dance the waltz, and I rest my head on his shoulder. "This feels familiar."

It's clearly Miyako's office —softer colours and none of the many trinkets I brought for Yamato lying around— but if we close our eyes, it could be another time, another world. A Sondheim melody echoes in my ears, and I lead him into a box step, but though the tempo is only in my head, he follows effortlessly, as if he knows… he knows.

"We never got to dance on the beach like you desired," he murmurs suddenly.

"Mm." I nuzzle his neck. "Or revisit Okinawa together."

"Or try out those love hotels you spoke of."

"Or attend a classical concert performance in its 'natural habitat' like you wanted." Although I giggle at the memory, it sounds hollow, sad.

"As pointless as this sentiment is now, I wish that we had," he admits softly, kissing my temple.

"We will," I tell him fiercely, pressing my lips to his jugular, "in the new world." I won't let this be the only life he's ever lived.

Yamato sighs, tightening his hold on me. "I have always been prepared to give my life for my ideals. This time is no different. But I realize now that all we have at the end are the best of our memories, and I regret that I could not give you more to cherish."

"Don't be silly." I stop, stepping back to meet his gaze. "I cherish every moment we spent together, even when we were doing nothing at all."

With a smile, he reaches up to thumb at the damp corners of my eyes. "Hibiki, what will you do if we ended up in a primordial world?"

I chuckle, covering his hands with my own. "I don't know… Hunt small game, learn to fish, make love to you in the rivers and the caves?"

He huffs a laugh, kissing my brow. "Simple priorities for a simple world. Heh. I suppose that's not a bad thing."

"We've risen out of the palaeolithic era once before. Between seven billion of us, I'm sure we'll figure out how to do it again." There are plenty of survivalists who could teach us the skills we need.

"Yes," he sighs, "Come," leading me along, and I let him take me back to my room.

Without words, we disrobe, then he's pressing me into the bed, hands sliding over my skin, and I cling to him as he rocks into me, burying my face in his hair. In the quiet intensity, there's just the pant of our fevered breaths, and it's the most quiet he's ever been.

I gasp his name, and he comes with a muffled cry, kissing my sobs into silence as completion takes me. We're a mess, but he doesn't let me go, and the steady rhythm of his pulse gives me courage and lulls me to sleep.

Still, I wake before long, reaching for his hand to trace his radial artery with the pad of my thumb. As the minutes tick away, they seem increasingly precious, and… I can't bear to miss what could be our last moments together.

Smiling, he murmurs, "I remember… our first night," and I wonder if he's slept, if I woke him. "Just like this," lying face to face in bed, "before Polaris."

"It's funny," I think aloud. "In hindsight, things were so simple back then. Present an ideal and have the world changed. Now we're fighting just to have a world left to change."

"But with Administrative Authority, it will truly be the world of our dreams, Hibiki, not some approximation concocted by an Administrator with naught but the most rudimentary understanding of humanity. No matter what I think of Alcor, he is, at least, far more like us than any of his kind."

Huffing a laugh, I peck him on the nose. "You know we all remember that you've already forgiven him. Would it hurt to be nicer? He's still very fond of you."

Yamato scowls, sullen. "Barely two hours, Hibiki. Don't talk about him."

With an exasperated sigh, I cup his cheeks. "Yamato, you have no reason to be jealous. Of anyone. Not now, not ever. I swear it."

"Ever…?" He smiles fiercely, thumbing my hairline. "Do not make such oaths lightly, Hibiki. If Administrative Authority causes our will to be reflected on the world, then the new world will surely stand as proof of our convictions."

I am unafraid of his implied challenge. "Then we will spend lifetimes together. We will never forget again, I'm sure of it."

"Sleep then." His lips press emphatically to my brow. "I will be with you, to the end and beyond. This is the path we have chosen together. Whether we emerge victorious or cease to exist, we shall see it through as one, Hibiki."

"Would you regret it?" I just— I need to hear it from him.

"A foolish notion. We would not exist then to have regrets. But I will say this." He catches my hand and twines our fingers. "Even if the end is inevitable, I am proud that we have chosen to go forth with dignity rather than concede defeat. Hibiki, I will not let you falter." His words are fierce, but the embrace he pulls me into is gentle, comforting, as ever a source of strength. "As long as we are together, no matter the outcome, I will have no regrets."

"Yes."

I relax in his arms and close my eyes. If we wanted to quietly accept our fate, we would have gone with Miyako's plan from the start. Knowing the odds, we still decided to fight till the end — all or nothing, we will end this now. As long as we are together, I have no reason to hesitate.

When I wake again, the clock tells me another hour has passed, and I'm sure my stirring has woken my lover as well.

"In the new world," I say softly, knowing he will listen, "we might not be able to summon demons. What will you do in a world without JP's?"

He cards his fingers languidly through my hair. "There are many ways to be Japan's shadow. Even without JP's, I expect my family will play its role in supporting the people's daily lives. As for me, I will continue to guide the world towards our ideals to the best of my ability." Smirking, he tilts my head up with two fingers under my chin. "I expect you to run for Prime Minister this time."

Giggling, I kiss his knuckles. "As if I would leave you alone." Sitting up, I grab my phone.

"What's the matter?" He sits up as well.

I shake my head, summoning Byakko and reaching out to ruffle its fluffy fur. "It's our last battle together." I swing my legs down from the bed, and the big white tiger comes to rest its head on my knees.

For a moment, Yamato looks puzzled as I scratch Byakko's chin, then reaches out to pat its head, like it's something he's never considered before. Then he starts, as if suddenly remembering something. "When I was very young… I used to summon Cerberus for nothing at all, especially on cold days." His fingers twine with mine amidst the white with a soft smile, and I rest my head on his shoulder. "It was warm, leaning against him while I studied, and safer than having many guards."

He summons the white hound, and it, too, seems surprised to find nothing to battle — it's been a long time since Yamato has called on it purely for company. Cerberus and Byakko greet each other as Yamato and I bury our free hands in the lion-like mane.

"This may be the last time we see each other," he tells Cerberus, and the hound approaches to rest one head on his knees, quietly replying, "ME SAD."

Byakko agrees, "ME SAD ALSO," and I kneel down to hug it.

"Thank you for everything." I reach for Cerberus, too, and it allows the hug. "Thank you for being there for Yamato all this time."

They bow their heads, pressing close, then suddenly, Yamato is behind me, embracing me, kissing my neck and shoulders, sliding slick between my thighs and stroking me, and I have to grip them more tightly to keep from falling over. They growl softly, but don't move as I muffle my cry in Byakko's thick fur — they must be used to us by now.

I press my thighs closer together, and we moan as one, his cock rubbing into my perineum and making heat flare in my loins. Yamato nips at my neck, leaving new marks, and I thrust into his hand, close.

"I'm glad," he groans by my ear, "If we fall, I won't exist to miss you this time."

"Cr— Yamato—! _Aahhh!!!_ " I'm spilling over his hand, trembling as he milks my cock with expert fingers.

Gasping my name, he comes as well, hot seed mingling with mine on my thighs, and I'm whimpering from the aftershocks, sagging against our demons. He turns me around for a kiss, and the sense of finality has me clinging to him as Byakko and Cerberus settle around us. I can't get enough of him, and every touch is a promise, a devotion.

Finally, cradled in warm white fur, hands idly stroking each other's sides, I can't bear not knowing what to expect and summon Lucifer. "Tell me," I say as he floats down to sit gracefully before us. "Tell me about Canopus." He's always been unusually knowledgeable. "What are our odds?"

"Canopus is but a system, and thy Stars holdeth the knowledge thou needest within them. Kuze Hibiki," he swipes an elegant finger up my thigh before slipping it past his lips for a taste, and a shudder runs down my spine, "thy odds art valourous." Pressed up against me, I feel Yamato react in much the same way, and our arms tighten around each other. "Long did I search the worlds for humans like thee, those who possesseth the will and the potential to break the chains thou wast born into. Dost thou possess the will to proceed beyond?"

"Beyond?" Surprised, I look into his glowing eyes. "Will you all exist in the world beyond?"

He smiles, leaning closer, and I'm transfixed. "We liveth within the hearts of men. Our forms may change, but doubt not that we continueth to exist as long as humans doth so."

I am strangely glad, and Yamato's eyes flutter shut as radiant white feathers brush his porcelain skin. Although we should be cleaning up to go rejoin the others at the Sky Tower Terminal, he reaches out a hand to twine his fingers in flaxen hair, and Lucifer takes one of mine to press his lips to my knuckles.

"If thou findest thyself face to face with thy true enemy, thou shalt find me at thy side once more," he murmurs, hypnotic, and when his six beautiful, shining wings wrap around us, I feel prepared for anything.


	35. From This Moment

Graduation. It's kinda odd going through it twice. Same school, same grades, same ceremony through different sets of memories. This time, Io, Daichi and I brought a change of clothes though, and we go to change out of our uniforms as soon as we're given permission to leave.

Today, we're going to meet the others at Oarai Beach — our first reunion since we created this new world after defeating Canopus. It's still a little chilly as we head outside the school gates, a spring breeze rustling the early shoots and blooms in the trees, and I don't think I'll be swimming today — the water is going to be freezing.

"Woohoo!" Daichi cheers, punching air as he turns to face us. "Finally, my driver's license put to its intended purpose. Road trip!"

Beside me, Io laughs. "Oarai is only ninety minutes away."

"Nuh-uh! You guys have no idea how pumped I am to not be driving disaster relief trucks for a change."

Chuckling, I tell him, "No, I'm pretty sure we have every idea. Go get the car, Daichi. We're gonna be late."

"Oh, come on! Where's your youthful enthusiasm, your sense of adventure, Mister My-Boyfriend-Is-The-Prime-Minister?"

"Hey!" I smack his arm. "What did we say about national secrets?" Officially, Yamato is a Special Advisor, but everyone who's anyone at all knows he's Prime Minister in all but name.

"Snrk, hahaha!"

"Urgh, my pain, always getting a laugh out of Io. I don't know how much more of this my wounded soul can take." He sighs, slipping out of melodrama. "Still, it really worked out, huh? We really managed to get our modern world back. I was totally worried for a second there, but it looks like this world isn't that much different from the one before, after all. Just with better people, I guess?"

"Yeah," says Io, contemplative. "I guess, with or without the Administrative Authority, the world is what humans make of it. Given the same seven billion people living in it, even if they've grown, there is only so different this world could be."

"True," I agree, "but there have definitely been some pretty big changes for us."

"Yeah… Well, you guys wait here. I'll get the car." Daichi jogs off, leaving Io and I standing at the gate.

"Yes." Io smiles. "Things have improved for everyone, haven't they? Airi and Hinako are getting really famous, Keita too. Jungo's Sky Tower café was featured in a magazine last week, and Fumi and Otome just got back from presenting their research at a World Health Organisation conference."

"Joe finally properly married Nagisa, too, and he's bringing the reception invitations today," I add with a grin. Daichi and Io are back together. Also, I hear Airi and Jungo are dating, finally, although Airi would never admit it. Rumour has it Hinako and Keita might have fought their way to an understanding, too, but the jury's still out on that one.

"Yeah! I can't wait. It'll be fun! Can you believe that Ronaldo is working as Yamato's Head of Security now though?"

I laugh. "Yeah, I was pretty surprised when I realized it. Those two really used to be at each other's throats. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,' perhaps?" So close, in fact, that Yamato may have recently caught him and Makoto having a moment.

We share a laugh as Daichi pulls up in front of us and gets down to "present" the car he borrowed from his dad.

"Tada! Let's get this show on the road, guys!" he enthuses, punching air again.

As we move to get in, Io cries out, falling — someone's bumped into her.

"Io!" Daichi runs over, concerned, as I crouch to help her up.

"Ah! Sorry! Are you—"

"Miyako-chan!" All three of us gasp as we catch sight of the other girl.

"Sor— Huh?"

Crawling over to shake the girl by the shoulders, like she can't believe her eyes, Io breathes, "I—it's really you!"

Confused, Miyako scuttles back as she picks herself up. "Who are you, and how do you know my name?"

"It's me, Io. We're your friends, Miyako-chan. Don't you remember…?"

"My… friends…?" Violet eyes dart from Io to me and back. "What are you talking about? I don't know y— ah!"

There it is — recognition dawns, her eyes widening, and she breaks into a warm smile, pulling Io to her feet.

"Io-chan… and Sh— Hibiki." She shakes her head, a look of wonder on her face. "I must say… I didn't think I'd really make it here."

"Ouch." Daichi slumps. "Ignored again."

"Not so, M— Daichi," Miyako corrects herself quickly.

She's so used to addressing us all by last name, complete with honorifics, after all. It's actually kinda weird seeing her in such sweet-looking casual clothes. She's still got the butterfly clip though, and she still looks exactly like Yamato, although I know for sure he doesn't have a sister in this world either. I wonder if they're related at all.

"Aww, man… I think that's the first time you've called me by that name, Miyako-chan." Blushing a little, Daichi brightens. "Hm… I wonder if that means Saiduq's here somewhere too."

"Yes, I see no reason why the process would have worked on me and not on Alcor. After we sent you off, he said it might be possible to alter our data in the Akashic Record to make us human and set the Astrolabe to create the new world with us alongside the other seven billion humans inside it. We had our doubts that it would truly work, but…" Closing her eyes, she clasps her hands over her heart. "We wanted nothing more than to join you in this new world, our friends… As I am here with you now, it may be that we will meet him again… no, I am sure of it."

"Speaking of meeting," Io pipes up, "we were just about to go meet the others. You have to come with us, Miyako-chan."

"Wh—what? Hey!" is all Miyako manages to get out before Io practically packs her into the back seat.

"W—wow." Daichi blinks as the car door slams shut behind them. "Sweet Io… who knew she had it in her?"

I shrug, chuckling. "Hey, you've both grown a lot bolder since the first world."

"Yeah, heheh… Nothing like the end of the world to get your game on, eh? Let's go!"

I nod, climbing into the passenger seat.

"Onward!" He starts up the car. "To an awesome road trip!"

I can't help laughing alongside the girls at Daichi's sheer excitement, but it's certainly infectious. Most of all, I can't wait to see the others again. It's been a while since Yamato and I went on a date, too. Running a nation is hard work, even if someone else nominally has the job, so we haven't had much time to spend together as a couple.

Speaking of Yamato, I'm positive I'd have heard all about "the vixen" by now if they were acquainted, "So I take it you're not a part of the Hotsuin family this time, Miyako?" I ask, turning a bit to look at her in the back seat.

"That is correct. My last name in this world is Konoe."

"Konoe? Isn't that Yamato's father's family name?"

"Yes. I believe his father and mine are cousins, although we've never met. As I understand it, the Hotsuin clan requires that anyone marrying into the main house, regardless of gender, take the Hotsuin name."

So they're still related, albeit distantly. As Io asks Miyako about her life in this world, my phone rings.

"Hey," I pick up with a smile — perfect timing.

I can hear the smile in my lover's voice as he asks, "Are you en route?"

"Of course. We even have a surprise guest."

"Do you?" He can guess, I'm sure.

"Mmhm, I've missed you."

With a slight chuckle, he replies, "Yes, I'll see you soon."

He hangs up, and I find myself reflecting on how his life has changed the most of all.

In a world without the threat of demons or the Administrator System, there is no need for JP's, and the powerful and wealthy Hotsuin clan's main house is, instead, a long line of prominent statesmen with strong ties to the Imperial Family and the other noble clans —like the Konoe— since the Heian era. The branch houses control large corporations and organisations — word on the street says there's very little in Japan that a Hotsuin can't make happen, allowing a seventeen-year-old to be the power behind the throne.

And yet, in a world without JP's, Yamato is the sweetest person I know. I got my wish — I met him earlier this time. I was picking my cat up from his checkup at the veterinary hospital my mother works at when Byakko suddenly leaped out of my arms and ran down a different corridor. Chasing her, I found her looking balefully at the door of an operating theatre, sitting by the feet of the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen — silver hair, porcelain skin and violet eyes, in a dark grey kimono of the finest silk with a gold embroidered sash.

"Is this your cat?" he asked, startling me out of my staring, and even his voice sounded like music to my ears.

"Yes, it's a Turkish Angora mix." The mix gave Byakko black stripes on her otherwise snowy white fur, and when I saw the kitten at the rescue shelter the year before, I knew she was mine. "Is your pet inside?" I indicated the operating theatre as I sat down beside him.

He nodded, looking like he'd been trying very, very hard not to cry. "Cerberus pushed me out of the way of an oncoming car and was hit instead." His hands fisted in his kimono over his knees. "I was careless. It won't happen again, so—" His resolute voice cracked as he choked up, and I embraced him without thinking.

"He'll be fine, I'm sure of it. You just have to believe in him," I told him even though neither of us remembered anything about Administrative Authority then.

"Why would that work?" he sobbed into my shoulder, even then allowing me to see the tears he would never show anyone else. "It's my fault he—"

"No. Don't think that. You can't give up on him."

Yamato only shook his head and continued crying, as if having given in, he could no longer stop, but at length, he straightened. "You're right." He wiped his face with his sleeve. "He will come back. Cerberus is my only friend. He must know that he cannot leave me."

My heart ached to hear such lonely words, but I only said, "Yes, that's why you must believe in him."

To my surprise, he leaned into my side once more — like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Is your cat sick?"

"No." I kept an arm around him as Byakko nuzzled his ankle. "I brought her in for a checkup. My mom is a doctor here."

He looked at the theatre doors. "Is she in there?"

"I don't know." My mom rarely told me what she was working on, after all.

"I hope she is. Your mother would save him, wouldn't she?"

"Anyone in there would do anything within their power to save him," is the truth I went for. "Because he's important to you. Because every pet they operate on is an important friend or family member. So have faith. Cerberus is going to be okay."

"Mm…" he mumbled sleepily, exhausted.

That was how his parents found us later — Yamato asleep with his head on my shoulder and my arm around his waist. I used to think it was mysterious how we loved each other at first sight; now I realize it was inevitable — it was written into the fabric of this world when we created it.

We were inseparable after that. Yamato would often send Nagahide to bring me and Byakko to his mansion in Kyoto for sleepovers. Byakko bonded and played with Cerberus, his white Akita, who made a full recovery. He taught me chess and subjects far ahead of our school curriculum while I shared all the fun things other people our age did.

It seemed completely natural when he pressed his lips to mine during one such sleepover only three years later. "Tell me now if you wish I had not done that," he said, but I only smiled and pulled him into a proper kiss, cradling him close where we lay on his futon.

Another three years later, when my parents were away on a business trip, we made love for the first time, rocking our hips into our joined hands in my room. We started earlier than we should have, I admit, but I believed in his judgement, and a part of me just… knew.

I'm sure his parents, at least —they're still alive in this world— have clued in to the no-longer-platonic nature of our relationship —Yamato still doesn't hide it very well— but if they've ever complained, Yamato hasn't let it stop him.

We have been lovers ever since, and in contrast to all the previous iterations of the world, when I woke up in this one, I was lying in Yamato's arms in a simply furnished modern apartment. There was the lingering aroma of niku jaga in the air — my mom insisted I bring some up for him earlier. He even bought an apartment in the same building as mine for his trips to Tokyo, so our visits would be convenient and discreet, and to be honest, I'm not sure even my parents are under the illusion that our sleepovers are innocent anymore.

I immediately got a call from Daichi to check on me and a barrage of messages from everyone else who couldn't get through because Daichi beat them all to it.

I really do have the best friends.

And, as for Yamato, he hasn't been back in Tokyo since then, so when we get back to that apartment tonight, he'd better have chosen the top of the line when he installed the extra soundproofing on the walls if he doesn't want all the neighbours to know everything I plan on doing to him.

Yamato is still Japan's shadow, still a prodigy homeschooled by experts, but not being raised as some kind of super soldier has preserved the gentleness of his nature. "Anyone can grow if put into a position where they can contribute," he said in bed one night. "If it is within my power, I would like to change circumstances, so that everyone will have the opportunity to be valued for their respective talents and contributions." Now, of course, I remember the reason behind this desire, but that doesn't diminish my appreciation of it. Despite his recent ascent to power, he has already poured much of his wealth, influence and time into making Japan a better country for us all.

Lost in my reminiscing, I don't realise we've arrived until Daichi pulls into a parking space. We remove our shoes and roll up our pants before running down to the water's edge to splash a bit while waiting — we're the first to arrive. To my surprise, there's actually someone surfing — I can just barely make out a lone surfboard. Either they're inhuman or their sense of temperature is dead — the water lapping over my feet is _freezing._

"Guys!" Hinako runs over with Airi and Jungo close behind.

"I brought chawan mushi for everyone," Jungo announces happily, showing us the large basket he brought along. "Also, Airi a—"

"Shut up!" Airi smacks him, and we all wince at the impact. "I told you not to say anything, Stupid Jungo!"

"But—"

"No buts!"

"Yo, Hibiki!" Keita calls out, sauntering over from behind with a grin. "Gotten any stronger yet?"

"Maybe," I reply playfully. "I'll beat you next time." He's been teaching me boxing, so we can spar, but he always wins, of course — he's the professional.

"Oh, we'll see about that." He cracks his knuckles, smirking. "Bring it on."

"Hey, Hibiki!" Joe seems to have tagged along, since he's right behind. "Look what I got?"

"A brain would be nice," Fumi interjects as she approaches — it's as if everyone conspired to arrive in quick succession.

"Now, now, Fumi," Otome chides beside her, but they're all smiles.

At any rate, Joe ignores her in favour of holding up his hand to show off his wedding band, then slowly reaches into his pocket. "Invitations!" He dramatically pulls out a stack of cards.

"Hey, you didn't lose them this time," I tease, and he offers a sheepish laugh.

"Actually… he did," a familiar voice cuts in, and I turn to find Ronaldo approaching. "Good thing he got extras just in case."

"Clicky!"

Joe and Ronaldo probably start catching up; I don't know — I've already run into Yamato's arms. We kiss, and he leads me into a waltz.

"You remember all the little things," I murmur fondly as we glide towards the water.

"Naturally. It's my job."

"Attention to detail or pursuit of my happiness?"

He doesn't even bat an eye before saying, "Both," and the way he was when we first met feels like a dream.

We stop where the cold water washes over our feet to find Makoto clasping Miyako's hands, their eyes shining with happiness.

"Brother," she greets as we approach, and Makoto turns to face us as well.

"Chief."

They both glance at her, and I chuckle — she's so flustered.

"I— I mean— Chief Y—Yamato. Should I make arrangements for Ch—Chief Miyako to join us?"

"Hmph, I guessed as much when Hibiki mentioned a surprise guest." Yamato pauses, then crosses his arms and appraises Miyako sternly. "And your will to guide and protect humanity?"

Miyako smiles, sly and teasing. "Oh, you're still only nice to Hibiki. My will is unchanged, of course, and I worry for this country now."

Yamato scowls and opens his mouth to retort, but then Daichi says, "Hey, is that…?"

He's pointing out towards the sea, and… a familiar head of silver has surfaced by the surf board, now closer to shore than it was earlier — inhuman, I should have known.

Miyako gasps, "Alcor?"

"Saiduq!" Daichi shouts, waving animatedly to get the guy's attention. "Heeey!!! Saaaiduuuq!!!"

Well, he certainly turns to us, although I don't know if his name is still the same, and I suppose he recognizes us, since he starts swimming over.

"Heh," Yamato murmurs. "I suppose this, too, is fate."

Even without their memories, we have been reunited here in this world, as if by chance. Truly, Administrative Authority is a powerful thing, although we hold only a fragment of it.

"My friends…" Saiduq smiles at us as we crowd around him, grey eyes scanning our faces before finally settling on Miyako. "Hotsuin Miyako. So you made it as well. I am glad."

"As am I," she replies, smiling fondly with her hands clasped over her heart. "As am I."

He turns to me. "Shining One, Kuze Hibiki."

I step forward to throw my arms around him, uncaring of the wetsuit. "Welcome back, Saiduq."

He nods, returning the hug warmly. "Yes. Yes, I suppose that's correct now. I'm home."

We let go, and he turns towards Yamato next. "Hotsuin Yamato—"

To my surprise, Yamato hugs him. It's brief, but… everyone looks as shocked as I feel.

"Hmph, I see you've finally learned to walk."

"I… yes," and I've never seen Saiduq look so happy — as I thought, Yamato will always have a special place in his heart. "It's strange now to think that I've lived for eighteen years as a human. Time, once unending, now passes in the blink of an eye. Finally, I think, I understand you."

I smile, squeezing Yamato's hand. "You should come play chess with Yamato again sometime. I don't think I'm very good."

"What nonsense, Hibiki," my lover chides mildly. "Modesty does not become you."

"Or," Daichi chimes in, "you could come play dodgeball with us, and maybe we'll stand a chance against this superhuman this time," side-eyeing Yamato.

A few years ago, on one of Yamato's trips to Tokyo, I got Daichi and some other schoolmates together for a game of dodgeball, so that he could join in and try it out. He picked it up quickly, and he could probably play competitively now. Despite not training for war, he maintained his physical fitness, and he's still as fast and strong as always.

"Hahaha… I'd like that." Saiduq looks meaningfully at us. "All of that."

"Io!" Airi protests suddenly. "It's supposed to be a happy occasion!"

"I know, I know." Io wipes her eyes, beaming. "I'm just… so happy. We made it. We really, really made it! All of us, here, together!"

"Yeah, pretty amazing stuff, huh?" Hinako grins. "Sometimes, I can't believe we really did all that. But here we are!"

"Hey, look!" Airi points at the horizon. "The sun's setting."

We all turn to look — warmed by the orange light, the blue sky extends into gradients of lilac, and the ocean is its shimmering mirror.

Yamato laces our fingers. "Once," he whispers, "I never paid such things any attention. Before you, I saw only the world's unsightliness."

Leaning into him, I let go of his hand to wrap my arm around his waist and lead him away from the others along the water's edge. "Love makes the world beautiful. Even this view would be half as lovely without you at my side."

"Heh," but he wraps his arm around my waist in turn and doesn't call it maudlin. "Now that Miyako is here, I expect we can go on that journey around the world soon."

I resist the urge to cheer — we've been planning the trip for a long time now, but again, running a country is hard work, so he hasn't been able to set aside an opportune time to go.

"I wonder… will this world turn out to be worthy of our sacrifice?"

Smiling as the waves wash our footprints away, I tell him, "It already is."

"Oh?" He stops, an eyebrow raised. "Where do you find such certainty?"

I tighten my arm around his waist in a brief squeeze. "The only one that is would never demand it of you, and this time, you chose this path freely." Leading JP's was a responsibility no one else could take, but leading Japan is the choice he made with the advantages he was born with. Still, if he doesn't feel that way… "Yamato, are you happy?"

He blinks. "What do you mean? Of course I—" Suddenly, he looks stricken. "Hibiki…" He faces me fully and takes me by the shoulders, waits for me to meet his gaze before he continues, "I've _been_ happy. All this time. Ever since you first came to get me back on that bridge so long ago now."

His heartfelt expression swims, and I blink the sting out of my eyes. "Yamato…"

"My apologies, Hibiki. I never got to tell you. It was unkind of me to let you think you weren't enough when I never needed anyone or anything else." He lifts his hands to my cheeks to wipe my happy tears away. "After that journey, when we get back, do you still…? Would you like to wake up to that garden that you love so much every morning?" Violet eyes are gentle, hopeful. "This time, surely, we'll have years, dec—"

I pull him into a kiss, searing, like every promise we've ever shared — always, forever.

"I've waited four lifetimes for you to ask."

_~fin~_

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**Author's Note:**

> Thus ends my first work for Devil Survivor 2: twice as long as I planned and still un-beta-ed (so let me know if I missed any mistakes). It's been a wonderful journey, and I was amazed by the amount of love and support this story received. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for staying with me all the way! ♡
> 
>  **P/S:** If the comments haven't already clued you in, I love hearing from you, now and always. So tell me what you think — it's never too late! ♥


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